JediDefender.com Forums
Community => Watto's Junk Yard => Topic started by: Ben on January 17, 2004, 02:44 AM
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I'm not sure if this has been done here, but let's go with it anyway, eh?
This is the sickest joke I've heard in a while.
Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly.
After the coroner leaves with Steve's body, Bob volunteers to inform Steve's wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack of beer under his arms.
"Say, Bob, where did you get the six-pack?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me!"
"What! You just told her that Steve died and she gave you a six-pack?"
"Well, before I broke the news to her, I asked her if she was Steve's widow. And, she said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!"
;D
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From the Breakfast Club:
A naked blonde walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other.
The bartender says: "I guess you won't be needing a drink"
The blonde says:
(Will someone for the love of God please tell me the end of the joke). :)
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One of my all-time faves:
The Geography of a Woman
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a d---.
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Oh no... The official JD Joke Thread has finally arrived... 8) You're gonna get us all in trouble now Ben! I've got a ton of jokes sitting in my various e-mail inboxes. Guess I'll have to sort through 'em all now and start spilling some of the better ones in here. Hopefully no one gets too offended! :P
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A joke that needs to be told in a thread like this:
A convict arrives at a new prison. The prison chaplain greets him and tells him he will join him over the next few days to help fit him into prison life. At dinner, they go into the cafeteria. They sit and eat, with most of the prisoners quietly talking among themselves.
After dinner, one of the prisoneres stands up and shouts "34!". Everyone starts laughing. Another stands up and shouts "16!". Same thing. The new guy is curious and asks the chaplain what is going on. The priest says "These guys have been in here so long, and haven't heard any new jokes in such a long time, that they just assigned a number to whatever joke they want to tell. Saves time."
Oh, thinks the new guy. Wanting to fit in, but not knowing what jokes are what number, he stands up anyway - "27!" - nothing - dead silence - so he trys again - "27!!!" - nothing. He sits down.
"What happened?" says the new guy. The priest just shakes his head and says "Some know how to tell a joke - some don't!"
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Nominated for Quote of the Year is the statement made by Texas
Congressman Dick Armey when asked, "If you had been in President
Clinton's place would you have resigned?"
Armey's reply: "If I had been in the president's place I would not have
gotten the chance to resign. I would have been lying in a pool of my own
blood, looking up, and listening to my wife ask,
'How do you reload this son of a bitch'?"
More dark humor if you ask me.
Kevin
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A man walks into a bar and turns to the guy sitting next to him, and says "have you seen the new streets, they are made of this new space aged concrete" the other man looks at him confused and says "what are you talking about". the first then says "it is to stop people from killing themselves from jumping off the roof...they just bounce off and land on their feet, i will show you." both men walk outside, the first man climbs up to the top of the building and jumps off, and sure enough he bounces and lands on his feet. The second guy decides he has to try this, so he climbs up to the top of the building and jumps off......splat he is killed on impact.
The first man walks into the bar again, the bartender turns to him and says..."Superman you are one mean bastard"
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This is pretty racy.
One drunken night a guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.
Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.
In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.
He asks the leprechaun what is going on.
"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."
"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"
"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."
"And them out there?" asks the guy,
"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."
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And, because I haven't yet pissed off the few females here already:
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you.
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Last one tonight.
A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room, finds a beer bottle and says, "I never knew my daughter drank!"
A Brunette walks into her daughter's room, finds a pack of cigarettes and says, "I never knew my daughter smoked!"
A Blond mom walks into her daughter's room and finds a condom.
She says, "I never knew my daughter had a penis!"
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leprechauns give you gold, they dont grant wishes
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Funny stuff guys. Keep them coming! Here's my contribution:
A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for the next ten miles. Finally, the punk gets self conscious and barks at the old man: "What are you looking at you old fart......didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?"
Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah. Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore, and had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."
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leprechauns give you gold, they dont grant wishes
You know, it's a hell of a lot funnier if you just go with it. It's a ******* joke.
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Alright, forgive me - another crude one here:
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single, are you?"
The woman replies, very sarcastically "How'd you guess?"
He replies, "Because you're f***ing ugly."
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adolf hitler approached the golden gates of heaven and st. peter stood before him. "name?" i am adolf hitler. peter looked down his list and said "sorry, your'e not welcome here". adolf said "if you let me in i will give you the iron cross - the highest order in all of germany."
jesus was standing nearby and told peter "i will handle this". he went and saw god, and told him "adolf hitler is at the gates and if i let him in he will give me the iron cross - the highest order in all of germany... what should i do?"
god said, "what are you going to do with an iron cross, you could'nt even carry your wooden one".
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q: what's black and blue and smokes in the corner?
a: a baby chewing on an extention cord.
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Joke (http://www.jedidefender.com/yabbse/index.php?action=viewprofile;user=Chris+Berry)
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Joke (http://www.jedidefender.com/yabbse/index.php?action=viewprofile;user=Chris+Berry)
(http://www.telusplanet.net/public/djustus/rofl.gif) Dale spews out beer through is nose! ;D
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Hercules, Snow White and Quasi Moto were all having lunch together.
Hercules said, "I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure?"
Snow White agreed. "I'm told I'm the fairest of them all, but sometimes I wonder."
Quasi Moto said, "I'm pretty sure I'm the ugliest human alive but I've never had it confirmed."
They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to pray about it that night and ask God to confirm for them whether Hercules was the strongest, Snow White was the fairest and Quasi Moto was the ugliest. They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.
The next day Hercules walked up with a smile. "Well, it's true. God told me that I am the strongest man in the world."
Snow White perked up and said, "And I now know for sure that I'm the fairest for God confirmed it."
But Quasi Moto lifted his sad face and said, "Who is Linda Tripp?"
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Don't know if I've ever told you of me and my brother's penchant of mocking dead celebrities and sports stars for some strange reason...anyway one of my all time favorites he told me was...
"John Denver...great singer, not so great pilot"
Also, last weekend he asked me I wanted to see his Johnny Cash impersonation...
He laid on his back, crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes...then asked if I wanted to see his John Ritter
Morbid, but I thought it was funny.
Worst joke I've ever heard was a few weeks ago at a rather warm party where a guy shouted out
"It's hotter than a Great White concert in here" Boooooooo
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Okay, I just read this one today in another forum and it cracked me up:
Q: How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You don't know, man! You weren't there!
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A bit of Math humor for the true nerd.
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country.
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every
triangle," Ashcroft declared.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes.
I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent of
protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with
calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every
sphere of influence, the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences,
we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential
to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we
become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor in random facts of
vertex."
Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, 'Read my
ellipse. Here is one principle I am uncertainty of: though they continue to
multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their
necks."
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that's pretty funny actually... guess i'm one of those math nerds :-\
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I thought it was quite clever.
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the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences...
All joking aside I can see the president mixing up circumference with circumstance
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the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences...
All joking aside I can see the president mixing up circumference with circumstance
Sadly enough I too can see him doing it.
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Brilliant joke, Clone Sargent.
I'm not that great at algebra, but I still got it. :)
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Couple more... Forgive me if they're lame. Just stuff that comes across my office e-mail... :P
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And
when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know,
kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine.
And that's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when
this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives
the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks
away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"
"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."
The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce." "I understand," replies her
husband, "but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more
shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the
garage, and no more
country club. But the decision is yours."
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a
gorgeous woman. "Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.
"That's his mistress," replies her husband.
"Ours is prettier," says the wife.
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This guy is driving down a country road. He sees a small dust cloud in his rear view mirror. After a very short time, the dust cloud overtakes him. He looks down out his drivers side door and see's this chicken with four legs. He looks at the speedometer and sees that he is doing about 45 mph. The chicken speeds up more and leaves the guy in his dust.
His curiousity getting the best of him, he follows the dust cloud and comes across a farm. There is a farmer leaning up against the fence. The guy calls out "Hey, mister..you see a four legged chicken running past here?"
The farmer says "Yep... we breed 'em here.. about four years back the folks at KFC asked a bunch of us farmers to breed four legged chickens 'cause more people were wanting dark meat."
"Wow", says the guy, "that's fantastic. How do they taste?" "Don't know..we've never caught one!"
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Meh.
Here is one for you, I found it to be mildly humorous:
Child says to mother, "Mommy, is god a boy or a girl?"
Mother says "Both"
Child then asks "Mommy, is god black or white?"
Mother says once again, "Both"
Child then says "Is Michael Jackson god?"
:P
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Duh, I posted this joke like two pages ago. :P
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You know, ever had a joke you thought was really funny but noone says anything
Like this one (http://forums.rebelscum.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=013615#000013)
No chuckle, no LOL, dang :-[
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No chuckle, no LOL, dang :-[
No wonder... ::)
OK, my next contribution:
A blonde decides to try riding horseback, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady, but fast pace. This is too much for the inexperienced blonde.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse and tries to throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head strikes the ground over and over again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when -- fortunately -- the
Walmart manager sees her and shuts off the horse.
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AHAHAHAHAH!Good one.
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The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat
by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been
with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to
support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
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Good one number two.
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This isn't really a joke, but it's got some pretty funny comparisons in it:
MEN & WOMEN COMPARED
NICKNAMES - If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deoderant and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS - Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thought for the Day: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
;D
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Good stuff. I used to kick my girlfriend's cat out of my way all the time.
I don't hate animals, the damn thing just kept sleeping on my clean laundry I neglected to put away for three weeks.
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A housewife turns around in the kitchen and cathes her son looking around in the oven. She of cousre asks,
"Son, why are you looking in the oven?"
The son replies...
"I'm looking for some of that hot snatch dad said you gave him last night."
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
The first muffin says, "Sweet Christ, its hot in here."
The other says "Holy sh!t! A talking muffin!"
Kevin
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Zing
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
The first muffin says, "Sweet Christ, its hot in here."
The other says "Holy sh!t! A talking muffin!"
Kevin
Theif, you got that one from me.
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A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the
son sees the shelf of condoms and asks his father what
they are. The dad replies, "Well son, those are condoms
and they're for protection when you're having sex."
The son then picks up one of the packs and asks why it
has three in it. The dad replies, "Those are for high
school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one
for Sunday."
The son then picks up one with six condoms asks, "Why six?"
The dad replies, "Well son, those are for college men. Two
for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
The son then notices the 12 pack of condoms and asks the
same question.
The dad replies, "Son, those are for married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March...."
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Top ten marketing slogans being considered by Viagra:
10. Viagra, it's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
9. Viagra. The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra. Like a rock!
7. Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight!
6. Viagra, be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
3. Viagra, connect and create something!
2. Viagra, just do it!
And the number one slogan being considered by
Viagra:
1. This is your penis....This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?
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What were you doing when the Death Star exploded?
(http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/picturejokes/12300.jpg)
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ROFL. That's the greatest thing ever.
;D ;D
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Why did the condom go flying across the room?
It got pissed off!
;D
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Women and Girls of the forum...I apologize in advance
My brother told me this one:
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive???
Because she was a woman
(ducks at flying shoe)
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(ducks at flying shoe)
You need these! :P
(http://www.cheesebuerger.de/smilies/verbluefft/56.gif) (http://www.cheesebuerger.de/smilies/verbluefft/55.gif)
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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive???
Because she was a woman
It's funny cause it's true.
(Ducks flying boots)
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Not necessarily a joke, but pretty funny nonetheless...
Why Men are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood --! all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache!
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes.
No wonder men are happier......
:P
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Oh, too true, man, too true. ;D
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Q: Why does Laura Bush always go on top during sex?
A: 'Cause George W. can only **** up.
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I thought I'd start a jokes thread, well because, sometimes we all just need to laugh. This is a joke about something that is an everyday thing in my city . So here is your first laugh.
A blonde walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the Loans Officer. She tells the Loans Officer that she is going on a business trip to Europe for two weeks and needs to borrow 5,000.00. The Loans Officer says that the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car was parked on the street outside the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The Loans Officer and the bank employees all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground parking garage and park it there.
Two weeks later, the blond returns, repays the $5,000 and interest, which comes to $15.41. The Loans Officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found out that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000 ?"
The blonde replies..."Where else in Toronto can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it still to be there when I return?"
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Here's another one. It's called woman RULE!
A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She seductively signaled to the bartender who approached her immediately. She gestured alluringly for the bartender to bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no", he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him", she says as she runs her hands beyond his face and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't", breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need you to give him a message", she continued running her forefinger across his lips and slyly, popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck then gently.
"What should I tell him?", the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him, she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.
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Gross!! ;)
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Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that
by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Here's one:
Sally is in sunday school. She falls asleep, and a few minutes after, the teacher asks a question. "Sally, who was crucified on the cross?" the teacher asks. The boy sitting behind Sally pokes her with a pencil and she immediatly wakes up and shouts "Jesus Christ!". The teacher praises her for the right answer. A few minutes later she falls asleep. The teacher asks "Sally, who is our savior?". Once again the boy behind Sally pokes here with a pencil and she wakes up and shouts "Jesus Christ!". The teacher again praises her for the right answer. She falls asleep again, and the teacher asks "Sally, what did Eve say to Adam after the 23rd child?". The boy behind Sally pokes her and she wakes up and screams "If you jab that thing in me one more time I'll break it in half!"
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:-X dude that was distastedful, yet hilarious :D