Today at work for reasons that are beyond even myself, I came across a website explaing, in terms a child could understand, just what one must do to talk to the dead.
So I thought it would be a good idea to conjue up the Ghost of Virex.Instructions Step 1:† Learn What Seances Are.
A sťance (pronounced SAY-ahnce) is a meeting at which a group of people attempts to contact a spirit and communicate with it.† †
Now we know.Step 1:† CheckStep 2:† Create An Exclusive Believers-Only Invitation List.
Stick to people who are open-minded. This is a definite MUST - ghosts respond only to those who believe in them (a reasonable request, we think).
Okay, so if you don't believe in the ghost of Virex - get out.Step 2:† CheckStep 3:† Set Up A Spirit-Friendly Environment
As even the unbelievers know, ghosts are supposed to come out at night, so plan your sťance for sometime after the sun goes down. A night with a bright, full moon would be a nice touch and could set the mood, but it isn't necessary.
Watto's Junk Yard is spirit friendly right?Step 3:† CheckStep 4:† Prep The Participants
1.† Select a medium. If you don't want to be the medium (that is, the person conducting the sťance) have someone who has been to a sťance or is particularly in tune with their sixth sense do the job.
2.† Once a medium is established, let him/her lead the group. A sťance should be held in an orderly fashion, without random participants yelling out, "When will I get married?" as soon as the spirit arrives. Make sure this is clear to everyone before proceeding.
3.† Decide on whom to call over from the other side. It is a good idea to pick a spirit beforehand, so you'll at least know who you're dealing with (your lovable old Nana, as opposed to an axe murderer). It's also a good idea to choose someone who has recently passed away - spirits who have lived on the other side for more than a couple of decades tend to not want to be bothered and might get angry if they are.
4.† Charge the candles. Have the participants hold each candle in their hands and visualize its symbolic power emanating from it. For example, if you are holding a white candle, picture strands of peaceful smoke curling up from it. Each candle should be passed to and charged by each participant before being lit and returned to the center of the table.
I'll be the medium - someone else get the candles.Step 4:† CheckStep 5:† Summon The Spirit
Blah Blah Blah - instructions link.
Let's pretend we just did all the stuff in that link.Step 5:† CheckStep 6:† Re-evaluate The Situation If The Seance Doesn't Work Right Away
If it turns out that you followed all these steps but couldn't get a ghost to visit, it might be because someone in your sťance group doesn't really believe in ghosts, deep down inside. As the meditation and chanting was going on, consciously he/she was thinking, "Wow, this is creepy," but subconsciously, he/she was going, "Yeah, right." You can resolve the issue by shining a bright light in each person's face and interrogating them mercilessly, or you can just try holding the sťance with different combinations of people to weed out the pseudo-believers.
Hopefully this won't be an issue.Step 6:† Check
[Mumbo Jumbo] We call upon you oh ghost of Virex