It looks fantastic! CHEWIE!! This is officially EU in my book now, it is no longer just fan-fiction. I liked this chapter a lot. There were some great visuals and the ending is perfect! It really got me excited for the next one.
There are a couple places I could use a bit more exlaination or a new scene. At the very begining Ithor's importance doesn't ever really get established. What do both sides want with them? The Jedi and Rykrof just kind of arrive all of a sudden and there is a Seperatist prensence that could have been explained a bit better. I think some kind of breifing scene on the gunship or on Coruscant at the beginning could help explain a lot of this.
Why was Sora Bulq trying to turn Obi-Wan and Anakin? He kind of came of nowhere too and you don't really know why he is there. Maybe a scene with him a Dooku convering about Ithor's importance would be good, if you are looking for suprise,you could keep his back to the camera or have him just out of picture, it amy add some suspence too if you know there is someone really bad there but don't know when he going to strike at our heroes.
Great customs too, I really like that Sora Bulq, he is very well done. When does he turn dark? Is it somewhere else in EU or does it start here?
Keep it up! I can't wait for Chap 10!