Figured I'd bump this one up, with a tale of my own:
Three years ago, my buddy Roger (former curator of The Dupe) and I took a massive road trip in April 2001. There wasn't really a point or a purpose to it at all--but that's one of the great things about road trips: They don't have to have much of a purpose, and, much like Dr. Jones, you can make it up as you go.
We rented a car, and took off for Denver, by way of Kansas (which is, indeed, probably the most-boring state to travel through, and this is coming from someone who lives in Oklahoma. Good thing we don't have any Kansans here at JD. . .
or do we?) Got to Denver, where Roger promptly got an expensive speeding ticket on I-70. Hung out with a friend of Roger's there for a night or two, and then promptly took off for Wyoming.
It wasn't too far over the border when I got pulled over by a Wyoming officer, but luckily got away with only a warning. Wyoming was beautiful, if not sparse, and we spent a couple of days hanging out and driving around.
We were low on cash going into this trip, so we saved money when we could by not staying in hotels or motels, and by spending the night in our car in Wal-Mart parking lots. We'd do this for a night or two, and then would find a motel to freshen up in, and to get a good night's rest in.
But what I didn't realize is that April in Colorado or Wyoming is a lot colder than April in Oklahoma, so we stopped at a Wal-Mart in Wyoming and got a really thick, heavy-duty sleeping bag for those nights in the car.
We also took a side trip to South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore. On the way, we stopped by Devil's Tower, and I finished up my taxes and turned them in to the Devil's Tower Post Office on April 16, 2001 (the 15th was a Sunday). We were playing Radiohead's
OK Computer on the drive to the Tower, with it looming in the distance. Made for a truly surreal experience, and I always think of that trip whenever I hear that record. I've been intrigued by Devil's Tower ever since (of course)
Close Encounters, so it was very cool to see it in person. While I was doing my taxes, Roger took a walk to explore the other side of the Tower, and. . . has never been seen since.
Mount Rushmore was cool. Don't know what else to say.
We tried to stop and see the Crazy Horse monument, too, but they wanted like $10 or $20 just to get in, and for a couple of guys who are spending their nights in their cramped, rented Altima, that just wasn't going to happen. Sorry, Chief.
Done with South Dakota and Wyoming, so we thought we'd head next to Yellowstone, through Wyoming. Spent a good couple of hours travelling west on this narrow, two-lane highway, only to find that the way into Yellowstone was closed, so we had to backtrack to Gillette, and headed up through Montana.
A slight regret of mine is that we didn't get a whole lot of time to hang out in Montana. Most of the time was spent driving through on I-94, but man, it was beautiful country. Spent a night in Butte (in a room this time), and then headed south, to get into Yellowstone through Idaho.
Yellowstone was great--for what we got to see of it. At that time of year, though, most of it was closed, so no Old Faithful, for example. We did see some great things, though, and I would definitely like to spend some more time there with Scott's wife and kids, when the weather's a little bit warmer.
(Still reading, Dad?)
While in Wyoming, we also visited the Grand Tetons, and made a lot of Dolly Parton jokes.
Onto Seattle! Went back through Idaho, through Boise, during a real late night/early morning trip, where we decided to drive straight through. We would go periods of literally thirty minutes to an hour without seeing another car on the road, so we put the
Shawshank Redemption DVD on the laptop, and both watched that as we barrelled down the highway at 80 miles an hour. Not much to say about Idaho's scenery, as it was pitch black, but I'm sure it looked much like Montana.
Seattle was very cool, and it was where we probably spent the most days total. We did the usual stuff, went up to the top of the Space Needle, saw Jimi Hendrix's grave, took in a game at the (then) brand-new Safeco Field (beautiful), went drinking downtown, came back and took a piss underneath the Space Needle, etc. You know, like you do. Really liked it, and could easily see myself living there some day.
Took a day trip to Vancouver, Canada, and really enjoyed that as well. Really beautiful. Even better, when getting back to the car (which was parked downtown), we discovered a parking ticket. Roger was driving.
Roger: 2, Matt: 0 (with one warning)
Went back down through Seattle and thought, as the good Nirvana/Kurt Cobain disciples like we were, we should take another side trip to Aberdeen, Washington, Kurt's hometown.
Interestingly, on the way into Aberdeen, we passed this house on the side of the road which had a big "Star Wars Museum" sign out front. Now Roger, he's not much of a fan, but I am, and we agreed that we'd stop on the way back from Aberdeen.
Aberdeen was a dump. Pretty easy to see why Kurt was so eager to get out of that hellhole.
So, on the way out of Aberdeen, we stopped at the little Star Wars Museum House, and although I've blocked a good 90% of what happened there out of my mind, I can say that what
did happen there was kind of a strange cross between a typical episode of
The X-Files and
The Silence of the Lambs.
I'd love to go into it, but what I will say, is that, if you're ever heading to Aberdeen, Washington, and you see the little Star Wars Museum House on the side of the road,
don't stop there.
Don't do it.
Onto Portland!
So from Seattle, we headed south to Portland, Oregon. Spent a night there (in a room), and was really impressed. Nice town, nice weather, etc. One of the main bridges in the downtown area was closed off that day, because they were filming scenes for the movie
The Hunted on it. Pretty cool, I thought.
Next day, we headed south on I-5 to Eugene, and I believe it was Eugene where we stopped to fill up the car, only we didn't get to fill up our car. No, in Oregon, you're not allowed to put gas in your own car, and being totally oblivious to this stupid-ass law, were then mocked by the forty-something hillbilly at the station. It's a conversation which we still quote to this day:
"It's like. . . THE LAW." Very creepy. Almost as creepy as the Star Wars Museum House outside of Aberdeen.
So from Eugene, we thought we'd get off the interstate, so we headed west, and got onto 101, and took that south along the Oregon coastline. Very gorgeous trip, but very slow-going. We stopped at some beach just north of the California border, and played catch for a good couple of hours, and that was one of the most-memorable days of the whole trip.
Continued south on 101, where we spent a night in Crescent City (Wal-Mart parking lot)--which I believe was the place that most of the cast and crew of
Jedi spent while filming the Endor scenes at the nearby Redwood National Park (could be mistaken, though.) (I don't think the crew spent the night in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart, though--that, I'm
not mistaken about.)
Drove through the Redwoods, and yes, the entire time, my little geek heart was aflutter with thoughts of Endor. I guess it was around this time where we found the famous tourist attaction where you can drive your car through a tree, and yes, we drove our car through the tree.
So we continued south, to San Francisco, and while it was breathtaking scenery the whole time, man, was that slow. Seemed like days. It was days.
Got to San Fran; went over the Golden Gate, saw Alcatraz, saw the seals or whatever at Pier 39, saw the curvy street (although we didn't drive down it
), scored an exclusive Fambaa at the S.F. FAO. What we
didn't do was go to a Giants game at PacBell, which I instantly regretted--not only were they in the middle of a homestand, but this was also the year that Barry hit is 72 home runs, so it would have been great to see a game.
S.F. was a great town, and we spent a couple days there, but there's not a whole lot left to say about it that hasn't already been said.
Headed south to Los Angeles on I-5. Like Idaho, this was mostly at night, so there wasn't a whole lot to see. Spent a night in Bakersfield, and then hit L.A. the next morning.
Hung out mostly in Santa Monica, did some walking around, checked out the beach, where we ran, slow-motion style, just like our Baywatch heroes. We were amazed at how cold and cloudy it was there--this was nearing the beginning of May, and was a lot different than we thought it would be. Saw the Hollywood sign, drove down the Strip, saw the Rainbow and the Whiskey (didn't have the balls to stop).
We did, though, have the balls to stop at an In-and-Out, and had the greatest fast-food hamburgers we've ever had in our lives. (JediMAC--the next time you send me some junk, send me a Double-Double, too, will ya?)
Headed south from L.A. to either Murrieta or Temecula, and hung out with and spent the night with a couple of friends of Roger's on their ranch.
From there, we headed south again to San Diego, where we didn't spend a whole lot of time, and then south again, and crossed over to Tijuana, where we didn't spend a whole lot of time, either (scary stuff).
Went back up through San Diego to either Temecula or Murrieta, where we spent one more night at the ranch, and then it was. . .
Onto Vegas, baby!
And man, that trip from San Bernardid, through Barstow, to Vegas, that was a killer. Boring as hell, not much in the way of scenery, outrageous gas prices.
Got to Vegas, stayed just off the strip, and had very little cash left, which was quickly blown on booze and slot machines. We both got incredibly wasted, and finally headed back to the room when the money ran out, at probably three in the morning. I was making trashy, drunken come-ons to ever girl we'd walk past on the way back ("Damn, sugar!"), and Roger almost got hit by a car once or twice.
Good times.
Got up, and headed out the next morning, and somewhere around that time is when things got ugly.
See, as some of you know, when you're cooped up with someone in a confined space for a long period of time, no matter how long you've known each other, and no matter how good of friends you are, sometimes you start getting testy.
Well, by now, we'd been together in the same car for about two weeks (if not a little more), and, for as much fun as we'd had, we were sick of each other.
It all came to a head sometime after Vegas, where we stopped for Taco Bell. We got into a little fight about whether or not to go in, or go through the drive-thru, and we decided to go through the drive-thru (I won). However, I was driving, and on our way out of the parking lot, with Roger's tacos all over his lap, I pulled out way too fast, and his tacos were now all over the place. His lap, the seat, the floorboard, everything. We yelled a little bit about it back and forth, and then that was it. We were both playing the Silent Treatment game, and were both doing pretty good.
Went over the Hoover Dam (one of the technological marvels of the modern era), went through Arizona, New Mexico, and the Texas panhandle, probably not saying fifty words between us. (Mostly it was stuff like "I need to go to the bathroom", "do you want to stop here", "I'm hungry", that sort of thing).
So we made this trip from Vegas back to OKC in record time. Granted, that stretch of I-40 isn't the most exciting, anyway, but we just blazed through it. Think it probably took a day and a half or so.
Finally got back to OKC around the first of May, 2001. All told, we were gone for about two and a half weeks, put over 7,000 miles on the rental car, went through 13 states, and three countries total.
Even with the problems at the end, it was still a fantastic trip, which I'll always remember.
The first thing I did when I got back was return that big, expensive, stupid, slightly-used sleeping bag to a Wal-Mart here in OKC. They tried to give me some grief about it, but I wasn't leaving the store with that sleeping bag, by God. "You can't return things that have been used, like this". "Okay, show me where it says that, then."
Virex: 1, Wal-Mart: 0.
And stay tuned for
Episode 2(004): The Road Trip Strikes Back, Midwest-Style, coming soon to a flophouse near you!