Author Topic: TALES OF THE 305TH #2, PART 1- A DANGEROUS SITUATION  (Read 585 times)

Offline Nirvana

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TALES OF THE 305TH #2, PART 1- A DANGEROUS SITUATION
« on: November 19, 2005, 05:09 PM »
     GRAND ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC MISSION LOG
     STAFF SARGEANT LISTER, 305TH LEGION

  'After that fiasco 3 days earlier, we continued pressing on into the Kashykk wilderness. We came across a dirt road, and it followed into an un-discovered mining village. We went back to Command and gathered an expedition team. Commander Rayders said I was to lead it.

Upon arrival, I radioed in to Command and told them that my squad had located the vilage and we were requesting reinforcements.

10 minutes later, Commander Rayders and 2 frontliners had shown up. "Take your rifle up on top of that building and keep an eye on the area. I'll sweep the village." I saluted and left to carry out my orders.

Commander Rayders turned to his grunts. "Search the area. Leave no building unchecked. Make sure there are no hostiles."

He walked over the Urban Assault Vehicle and gave orders to the driver. "Refuel and report back to base. Keep contact between us and come pick us up when we radio in."


MEANWHILE......

I was laying on top of a nearby building. Looking over the city, a curious thought came into my head. Why was this here? Kashykk had very little precious metals. I shook it out of my head. I had a mission to complete.

One disadvantage to being a sniper is that the world inside the scope is virtually all-consuming. I didn't know that there was an extermist sneaking up behind me until I felt the cold hard metal of a pistol prodding me in the neck.

I froze. I realized that I could die right here, right now. Luckily, this one had other plans. He ordered me to stand up and put my hands over my head. I obliged, not wanting to lose my life today.

He took me down the stairs of the abandoned building. He burst open the ground level doors with a gun to my head, and was soon met by three rifles pointed at him.

"DON'T SHOOT!" He yelled. "I'LL PULL THIS TRIGGER, I SWEAR TO GOD!" Commander Rayders had steely calm. "Easy, big guy," he coaxed. "Just take your hand off the trigger. We don't want that thing to go off." "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!" Clearly this guy was nuts. The driver, oblivious to what was going on, turned the corner, ready to leave. "I SAID STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" The rebel whipped around and shot the pilot in the head.

The extermist realized he had made a big mistake. He tried to stop me but I had alreadly turned around and had a punch going for him. It hit in the back of the head. Knocked him out cold.



"Excellent work, Sargeant. Let's go."  "But we can't just leave him here! He can tell us what the heck is going on! Where their base is at, everything!" I protested. The commander was silent for a second. '"You're right," Commander Rayders aggreed. "Put him in the car. I'll drive back."
While carrying him back, my mind was racing with questions. Why had he cornered me? Why was he the only one in the village? What was going on?


I suddenly realized that I was about to find out soon.

TO BE CONTINUED...


I hope you like it. Any comments are appreciated. Please leave me your thoughts-my previous one had only one response. Thanks for looking.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2005, 09:49 PM by darth_nirvana »
My whole expanse...I cannot see...

Offline Nirvana

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Re: TALES OF THE 305TH #2, PART 1- A DANGEROUS SITUATION
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2005, 01:52 PM »
I'm working on Part 2, here's a preview pic:


It'll probably be up by Tuesday.
My whole expanse...I cannot see...

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: TALES OF THE 305TH #2, PART 1- A DANGEROUS SITUATION
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2005, 02:05 PM »
Ok!  Trying to read this while watching some football.   ;)

This was a good chapter.  Actually it was great, I really like how you are creating some personality for your squad, and showing some up close and personal situations.

I like how you are using so many customs and creating your own characters for this.  To me, it's so much better than using the same old established characters over and over again.  Some people seem to want to only use those, and to me that gets pretty boring, almost to the point where I can't even read the stories.  I already know what happens to Windu, Obi Wan, Vader, etc.  But I have no idea what's going ot happen to Lister or other fan fic characters.

The best part was seeing the extremist capture Sgt. Lister, and then get tricked into turning his gun towards the vehicle.  That was a stroke of genious and shows the desperation of the extremist character.  And it ends of a cliffhanger, which is always fun.

The preview pic looks interesting too.  Always love seeing beasts get into the mix. 

My really only suggestion is to add in some special effects (you may want to practice on this first though, until you are happy with how they look) and maybe some custom backgrounds/ground effects.  The way you are doing them is already awesome though.

So who are these extremists exactly?  Separatist sympathizers?

 :P
« Last Edit: November 20, 2005, 02:06 PM by CHEWIE »

Offline Nirvana

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Re: TALES OF THE 305TH #2, PART 1- A DANGEROUS SITUATION
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2005, 02:07 PM »
Well, I can't really tell you, you'll find out in part 2. :P Im glad you like it, I think it turned out alot better than #1.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2005, 02:07 PM by darth_nirvana »
My whole expanse...I cannot see...