Author Topic: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust  (Read 2080 times)

Offline In Rem

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K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« on: December 1, 2005, 02:15 AM »


The meditation chambers in the Jedi Temple were swirling with angst and trepidation. Newly knighted Jedi Sedo Crus sat in his usual place, arms at his side, eyes closed as he allowed his mind to harmonize with the Force.



Crus:
"Master, I sense… fear."



Kit Fisto:
"You are nervous, Sedo. Do not confuse your feelings. You must fully understand your feelings if you are to be a complete Jedi. Use your training and the Force to guide your thoughts. Trust them to guide you, and they will serve you well."

Crus:   
"Yes, Master."



As he closed his eyes again, the young knight’s mind swirled with terrible thoughts. They did scare him, but he dared not speak of his fear aloud. He had been trained to deal with that cousin of self-doubt through endless training in the two decades since his arrival at the Temple.

The next morning Sedo Crus would assume command of a Clone unit; soon after he would see combat with the Separatists' Droid Army.



His "promotion" was not a glamorous one by any measure. Instead, his assignment was a glaring reflection of the mounting death toll among the Jedi.

He was more spiritualist than fighter. His Master knew this; his Master made sure the Council knew this. There was no question that the Force worked through his mind, not his light saber.

But it was his saber that was needed, the Council decided.

Crus had never shirked his responsibility to take up arms, but he always doubted his ability. A battlefield is no place for an intellectual, he thought. Yet here he was, a student by nature, about to travel to some desolate Outer Rim world worth its weight in Battle Droid parts to cut off the Separatist supply lines and hopefully shorten the war.

It was a simple mission. Land on the planet undetected and sabotage the foundries and factories that were churning out more and better Battle Droids for the CIS.

The system targeted was poorly defended. There were few if any aboriginal species that might pose a problem. The Clones Sedo would lead were seasoned, and would get him through the campaign with little danger to himself.

Still, he could not help but doubt everything around him since receiving his new assignment. His eyes sprang open to meet his Master's watchful gaze, and Sedo attempted a final plea.



Crus:
"Master, I know you have always looked out for me, and I am grateful and will remain so for all my days, but… "

Fisto:   
"It pains me that you have to do this, too, Sedo. This War has asked more of the Jedi than we ever imagined. If the stakes were not so high, I would protest this assignment with you.

"We are Jedi, Sedo, and our duty calls. I can only assure you that this course is the right one. It is up to you to see the reality that it is so.

"You will leave tomorrow, and I will send you off. You will complete your mission, and I will be here to receive you when that happens. Your Clone unit will be waiting at the deployment point. I am assured that any doubt you harbor for this mission will be settled when you meet your unit commander, Commander Koe. I am told he’s…



"...special."

Crus:
"I am sure you are right, Master."

Fisto:
"Continue your meditation. Your mind is your strongest weapon, Sedo. It needs to be sharp for combat. I will see you in the morning."

Crus:
"Yes, Master."

With that Master Fisto retired, leaving Sedo to contemplate his situation.



Despite Kit’s assurances, Sedo distrusted Clones. Intensely.

In studying the history of the Clone Army – the so-called “Grand Army of the Republic” - Sedo had discovered that the Kamino had built the army with minimal initial involvement of the Republic.



In fact, the army had been requested by a lone Jedi - now dead - purporting to act on behalf of the Republic.



Then, instead of cloning a truly mighty warrior – like Master Windu or Master Yoda – the Kamino had cloned a ruthless bounty hunter named Jango Fett.



They allowed for changes to the growth rates and intellect to make the Clones reach maturity quickly and ask few questions.

It was an unsettling - and frankly illogical - set of facts that Sedo could never resolve, despite thousands of hours of research.

He had met Clones on Coruscant – mostly police forces. Each seemed unusually absent of the Force, but very obedient to orders or even suggestions from Jedi. They simply lacked a real spirit.



They were solid fighters, to be sure, but every Clone Sedo encountered seemed less like a living being and more like a droid. Had the cloning process diluted the Force right out of them? Were they less than living beings? If given a choice in how to live their lives, would they make one?

No, of course they wouldn’t, Sedo thought.



The Clones were not to be trusted, but they were the only tools at his disposal. He would trust them as much as necessary to survive his mission…



…to destroy the CIS Foundries on Odos Five.


--
Click here to move on to Chapter 2...
« Last Edit: November 21, 2006, 01:23 AM by In Rem »

Offline Ryan

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #1 on: December 1, 2005, 05:00 AM »
And Dig it I do. :)

This is a vrey well written story, I'm excited to see where this goes. I really enjoy the widescreen effect on the pictures it makes them seem really movie like. Your photoshop effects are great, I really the shot where Sedo has his eyes closed.

I do have two suggestions though, I think I would find a way to break up the text some more. It has great substance but after the first frame it seems like it is just text for awhile. Perhaps you could have pulled out and got an establishing shot of the chamber as Fisto walked in or something to that extent. And second, I think you could make the pictures a bit bigger. :)
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Offline blaster_e11

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #2 on: December 1, 2005, 06:35 AM »
as ryan said it's pretty cool,

i think you'd like to correct the spelling of must (musy) in kit's first line
"Wars don't make one great"

Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #3 on: December 1, 2005, 09:49 AM »
Ryan -

Thanks for the feedback. I do indeed need more shots in here. I'm just not very happy with my set-up for the meditation chamber, so I resisted putting in more than a couple of shots. I tend to want to go into more detail in my story telling, so it can get wordy. I end up running out of time wrt the photos. :)

As for the size of the photos, I might go up to 600 for the next chapter. I've been pretty happy with 500 x 375 in terms of my stuff looking closer to what I want... cutting things down tends to clear up the problem areas. It is a good suggestion, though. I'll see what I can get done.

blaster_e11

Thanks, and I did correct Kit's first line. I added that sentence at like 2:15 in the morning, and I goofed. :) I made a few more changes in an attempt to tighten up the story.

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #4 on: December 1, 2005, 11:31 AM »
Ah, great work In Rem!  I am very envious of your picture taking skills and your editing.  The storyline is looking very promising too.  It was good to have a little background told, with the Kamino stuff.  Very nice indeed and it worked out perfectly.

So I take it this takes place in the latter half of the war, correct?  That seems to be the most popular part of the Clone Wars to explore.  Really a lot going on then.  And creating an all new customized character like you have is simply awesome.

I think Ryan and blaster_e11 have good ideas, and I agree that I'd like to see slightly larger or even brighter pics.  But I tend to make my pics too big (and they don't look as crisp) in my series, and too dark, so maybe my suggestion should be ignored.   ;)

 :P


Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #5 on: December 1, 2005, 11:42 AM »
Thanks for the comments, CHEWIE.

Yes, this is in the latter half of the War. The Phase II armor on Koe's unit sorta forced my hand there. :) Still, I think I adapted well. I like the idea of a Jedi pressed into service... the unfortunate hero, I guess. Never wanted to go to war, but still duty-bound and honorable in meeting his obligations.

I also liked the idea of the Jedi - especially the more bookish Jedi - knowing perhaps more than they should about the Clones. Where that takes me, I'm not sure, but I do have an idea or ten.

As for the lighting, this chapter suffers from being set in a dark meditation chamber. Then the Jango shot is in a dark alley. Felucia isn't too dark (although that planet is). The Kamino shot is well-lit to match the background. The droids are marching - if you look at the setting, in shadows, perhaps near a tree line, so again, dark. Koe's unit is fighting under cloudy skies on a desolate planet...more dark. I didn't really consider how dark this thing ended up overall, but it sure as heck did. :P

The size, like I mentioned, might be adjusted up for the next chapter.

Thanks again for the suggestions and comments. I really appreciate it.

Offline Quazar

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #6 on: December 1, 2005, 12:43 PM »
An excellent beginning!  Bravo!  Some very fine character development and backstory here for what is sure to be a terrific story.

I really love the Sedo character.  He gives us a different perspective on the Jedi, more introspective and thoughtful, as I would imagine many Jedi are.  And it's nice to see a dose of healthy skepticism about just what the clones are, this army which, for the Jedi, seemed to come out of nowhere, under very mysterious (if not downright suspicious) circumstances.

I love the "letterboxing" effect and your pictures really do look crisp and beautiful.  Going up a size, however, couldn't hurt, so I say "go for it".

I would like to echo other comments about the "closed eye" shot in particular.  It looks great!

My second favorite shot (as much as I love your photoshopping skills and f/x) is the shot of the unidentified "Jedi" and the Kaminoans.  Along with the accompanying text, it feels genuinely forebodding and mysterious.  Who was REALLY behind that cloak?  The world may never know...

This really is off to a wonderful start and I eagerly look forward to its continuation.  Well done!
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Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #7 on: December 1, 2005, 01:00 PM »
Quazar:

Thanks for the feedback. I really like that Kamino shot, too. It looks almost like the moment the mysterious Jedi says to the Kamino: "I want a grand army; hundreds of thousands of clone warriors."

Believe it or not, that's an EMPTY Episide I Mace Windu cloak, so even I don't know who is behind the plot :)

I'm glad you appreciate this approach. I hope it will allow me to dig a hair deeper into what may or may not really be going on in the minds of the "other" Jedi and the "other" Clones who didn't find a spot in Episode III.


Offline Diddly

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #8 on: December 2, 2005, 07:07 PM »
This was good, damn good! I really enjoyed the look of the pictures. The story was good too, it sounds like it'll be leading to an even better one! Great job.

Offline jedistyle

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #9 on: December 3, 2005, 10:10 AM »
that was excellent In-rem. very well told. i really like how Sedo is exploring the darker side of the clones apperance and involvement in the war. going back over how the clones where introduced was really cool, especially since you had shots to back up Sedo's contemplations.

the shot of Koe's unit in action is really good, i liked the backround vulture droids firing, nice effects there.

the custom Sedo charecter is great! very well done. parts and paint all go well together. i like how Sedo looks a bit shorter, especially standing next to kit, it gives him a younger look and add's to the fact that he is very young and has just been knighted.

i'm very anxious to see where you take your story. that is a very broad opening and you have a galaxy of possibilities.

i'd also like to see larger pics.

you have done some great work and have a great start here and i can't wait to see more, thanks for sharing with us.

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2006, 03:49 PM »
Sorry to sound like an ass, but I really want to see an update soon!   :)

I do understand how time consuming these are however.  God knows I'd like to pump out 3-4 photonovels a month if I had the time.

 :P

Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2006, 07:39 PM »
CHEWIE - No sweat. Your post is a compliment more than anything else.

I have the story, I just don't have the time :(. Being a lawyer has CONSUMED my free time, and when it gets late (my primetime for customizing) I'm so tired all I want to do is play BattleFront, PSP, or SLEEEEEEEEP.

It is motivating to hear that you want to see how this one progresses. I'll see if I can't get on the ball soon. :)


Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2006, 05:56 PM »
OK, guys... I do owe you an update. I will begin drafting another short chapter this week (and intro to Koe's Killers on the Coruscant landing platform) and then we'll see about getting the entire crew out to Odos Five. :)

Thanks, CHEWIE, for bringing this back up and reminding me how much I liked making Chapter 1.

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2006, 03:14 PM »
Where's the update, IN REM??  Great looking pics and great original story.  More time spent on the Clone's story and history is always good.
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Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E.: Chapter 1 - Necessary Trust
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2006, 03:42 PM »
I have a draft that I keep reworking. I took a set of pics last night for Chapter 2.

It's in progress. I promise. :)

I will probably not be able to work on the story tonight as I am heading out to a ballgame for the evening, but stay tuned.

Thanks for your kind comments, S_A