Goosebumps! This installment really had me on the edge of my seat -- I was really worried about Freelo and Alyssa for a bit there.
And I just noticed now that Ralbarr has on a softoods skirt -- hooray!
Kala's closed eyes in that last scene was a great touch -- a small detail that really made a huge difference to the whole feel and mood of that scene. As jedistyle remarks, that scene offers some great insight into the emotional stress that the Jedi are suffering in these dark times. The eyes are the windows to the soul, and when they're shut...
About body proportions. In the scene where Ralbarr, Freelo, Alyssa, and Shaak Ti are all standing together, Alyssa seems awfully tiny. Of course, I know that's because she's based on a Padmé figure, and she's standing near a Wookiee. But even her fellow woman, Shaak Ti, seems awfully big in comparison, and she's never struck me as being particularly tall (well, not counting her head tails, of course). Could that just be because of her big clone boots? Is Alyssa just supposed to be a really petite lady? Just out of curiosity, if Rykrof is in his 30s or so (as you mentinoned in a reply in the revious installment), about how old is Alyssa, & how old is their little boy by now?
And on the issue of Shaak Ti, her copious softgoods are fabulous, of course. Only thing is, wouldn't they slow her down a bit in a battle situation? Of course you addressed that by giving her a shorter skirt -- good move.
Now, there was one bit of the story that sort of bothered me a little: Why doesn't Rykrof himself hurry off to rescue Alyssa once he sees that communiqué from the other Fuuda on the data screen? Why did he insist that Kala and co. go and he stay? And if he knew that Fuuda would be showing up looking for him, why did he stay? These things seemed a bit funny to me on the first read through, altho' maybe there was a good reason for all this to which I didn't catch on.
Looking forward to more, as always. Keep up the top-notch work!
... the Findswoman