Author Topic: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."  (Read 5609 times)

Offline Matt

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SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the thirteenth of seventy installments.)

121.  Metuchen O'Sullivan
122.  Cherry Hill O'Manley
123.  Cheesequake O'Lennox
124.  Booper O'Montauk
125.  Zaxxon Galaxian
126.  Drinky Drunky Thom, the Drunk
127.  Terry Gross
128.  Spooky-Night Spooky Day
129.  Zipgun Gloucester Gluck
130.  Human Hair Frum

Offline Jeff

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I am so looking forward to the thirty-seventh installment of SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

I have this sneaky feeling that Hobo Name 363 is going to rock (although it will be hard to top "Sweet Daddy Champagne").

Still waiting...  just 24 installments to go!
Editor-in-Chief  - www.JediDefender.com
Follow me on Twitter - @jedidefender / @jlsmentek

Offline Matt

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SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the fourteenth of seventy installments.)

131.  Sherlock-Holmes-Hat Carl III
132.  Patrick Intergalactic
133.  Ambidextrous Stang
134.  Yum-Yum Sinclair Snowballeater
135.  Ponzi-Scheme Jeremiah Ponzi
136.  Toodles Strunk
137.  Monkeybars Matthew Manx
138.  Pineneedle-Jacket Jericho Fop
139.  Robert the Tot
140.  Robert the Child-Size

Offline Matt

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Re: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."
« Reply #48 on: September 7, 2007, 09:58 AM »
SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the fifteenth of seventy installments.)

141.  Robert the Minuscule
142.  Robert the Wee
143.  Robert Fits-in-a-Case
144.  Robert Eats-for-Free
145.  Robert Is-He-an-Elf? (The seven Silk brothers, all named Robert, were also known for their small stature and predictable bitterness.)
146.  Dennis Big-Ear Fox
147.  Jethro the Pagan
148.  Asterix the Gaul
149.  Black Bolt, King of the Inhumans
150.  Strictly Local Henry Bobtail

Offline Carpeteria3000

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Re: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."
« Reply #49 on: September 7, 2007, 09:47 PM »
thought i'd help with the official illustrations:

141.  Robert the Minuscule



142.  Robert the Wee



143.  Robert Fits-in-a-Case



144.  Robert Eats-for-Free



145.  Robert Is-He-an-Elf? (The seven Silk brothers, all named Robert, were also known for their small stature and predictable bitterness.)



146.  Dennis Big-Ear Fox



147.  Jethro the Pagan



148.  Asterix the Gaul



149.  Black Bolt, King of the Inhumans



150.  Strictly Local Henry Bobtail


Offline Matt

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SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the sixteenth of seventy installments.)

151.  Manny the High-Ranking Mason
152.  Fry-Pan Jim Fry
153.  Slo-Mo Deuteronomy
154.  Half-Bearded Mark
155.  Knee-Brace Kenny
156.  Morris the Personal Trainer
157.  Thundertwine
158.  Cleats Onionpocket
159.  Deformed Abe
160.  Trainwhistle Abejundio

Offline Matt

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Re: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."
« Reply #51 on: September 1, 2008, 10:14 PM »
SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the seventeenth of seventy installments.)

161.  David No-Ears
162.  Achilles Snail-Hair the Buddha
163.  Frog-Eatin' Lou
164.  Admiral's Club Wilbur
165.  Max Meatboots, the First-Class Lounger
166.  Dora the Explorer
167.  Ms. Mary Manx, the Tailless Cat
168.  Free-Peanuts Doug
169.  Steve the Human Tunneler
170.  Redball Charlie Dickens

Offline Carpeteria3000

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Re: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."
« Reply #52 on: September 2, 2008, 04:06 PM »
again, the accompanying illustrations:

161.  David No-Ears



162.  Achilles Snail-Hair the Buddha



163.  Frog-Eatin' Lou



164.  Admiral's Club Wilbur



165.  Max Meatboots, the First-Class Lounger



166.  Dora the Explorer



167.  Ms. Mary Manx, the Tailless Cat



168.  Free-Peanuts Doug



169.  Steve the Human Tunneler



170.  Redball Charlie Dickens



Offline Matt

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SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the eighteenth of seventy installments.)

171.  Twink the Reading-Room Snoozer
172.  Microfiche Roy, the Side-Scroller
173.  McGurk, Who May Be Found by the Card Catalogue
174.  Booster D'Souza
175.  Commodore Sixty-Four
176.  Moped Enid, the Mopedist
177.  Lamant the Junkman
178.  Fast-Neck Nell
179.  Bill Never-Uses-a-Cookbook
180.  Bee-Beard

Offline Carpeteria3000

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Once more, the matching illustrations:

171.  Twink the Reading-Room Snoozer



172.  Microfiche Roy, the Side-Scroller



173.  McGurk, Who May Be Found by the Card Catalogue



174.  Booster D'Souza



175.  Commodore Sixty-Four



176.  Moped Enid, the Mopedist



177.  Lamant the Junkman



178.  Fast-Neck Nell



179.  Bill Never-Uses-a-Cookbook



180.  Bee-Beard






Offline Matt

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BRIEF LIVES OF SOME NOTABLE HOBOES

KARL MALDEN

     Young Karl Sekulovich, of Gary, Indiana, was an itinerant steelworker and boxcar poet for years before becoming a famous film and television star.  As a hobo, he took the name "Kaveman Karl" and was known for hosting hobo stomp dances on his enormous nose.  He was drawn to the stage in the late thirties, when hoboes were enjoying something of a vogue on Broadway, starring in such hobo-themed shows as Railbirds! and A Streetcar Named Desire.  Later in his career, he became the American Express spokesperson, immortalizing the line "Never leave home without it, especially if you plan to forever lead a nomad's life on the hard hobo road, dodging the bulls and sleeping in makeshift hobo jungles and eating only beans, paste, and freedom." 

     Michael Douglas, his young costar in The Streets of San Francisco, recalled once that Malden would often take him aside and encourage a life of hoboism on the young star.

     As Douglas told Rolling Stone in 1979:  "Malden would say, 'Come on, brother!  Let's leave all of this star stuff behind and go a-roamin'!'  But that was never my trip, and he knew it.  And then Karl would gaze out the window, with this sad look on his face.  I used to think he was just staring stupidly the way old people do sometimes.  Now I think he was probably looking at the scenery, angry that it wasn't moving."

Offline john todd

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again, the accompanying illustrations:
170.  Redball Charlie Dickens




i am glad this one is what it is and didn't take a turn for the worse showing exactly why they call him redball.

Offline Matt

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SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the nineteenth of seventy installments.)

181.  Lil' Max Meatboots
182.  The Personal Secretary to Jed
183.  Dee Snider
184.  Sausage Patty
185.  Desert Locust
186.  Gummy Miles
187.  Gyppo Moot, the Enigma Machine
188.  Ol' Stiffpants
189.  Skywise the Sexual Elf
190.  Craine T. Eyebrow-Smeller

Offline Matt

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Re: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."
« Reply #58 on: December 23, 2010, 02:14 AM »
SEVEN HUNDRED HOBO NAMES

(This being the twentieth of seventy installments.)

191.  Lonely Heiney Alan Meister
192.  Shakey Aitch the Boneyard Concierge
193.  Woody Damn
194.  Alatar
195.  Pallando
196.  Saltfish Bunyan
197.  Poor, Poor, Poor Charlie Short
198.  Venomous Byron
199.  Five-Chambered-Stomach Mort St. John
200.  Gravybelly Dunstan

Offline Carpeteria3000

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Re: Random passages from John Hodgman's book, "The Areas of My Expertise."
« Reply #59 on: December 25, 2010, 06:21 PM »
And again, your visual accompaniments:

191.  Lonely Heiney Alan Meister



192.  Shakey Aitch the Boneyard Concierge



193.  Woody Damn



194.  Alatar



195.  Pallando



196.  Saltfish Bunyan



197.  Poor, Poor, Poor Charlie Short



198.  Venomous Byron



199.  Five-Chambered-Stomach Mort St. John



200.  Gravybelly Dunstan