Author Topic: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation  (Read 2296 times)

Offline BrentS

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Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« on: May 21, 2006, 11:37 AM »
Chapter 3 – The Investigation


 
In a dark section of Coruscant, a secretive hideout for the Sith stirs with activity.




 
Darth Sidious contemplates the disturbance he has felt in the force.  Uneasiness pervades his feelings.  He senses a presence on the one-time home world of his future apprentice.





Lord Sidious calls for Gorn, his personal Guard and secret Knight of the Sith.  Not a true Lord of the Sith, Gorn loyally follows Darth Sidious with hopes that he can soon replace Lord Maul at his Master’s side.





“I have a task for you Gorn.” Sidious states in his usual deliberate calm but threatening voice. 





Gorn, anxious to prove himself to his Master. listens patiently to his instructions.  “Yes, Master. What is your bidding?”





“You must travel to Tatooine.  There is a disturbance in the force that must be explained.  Your path to Sith lies somewhere on this remote world.  Make haste in your journey and discover this source of dark power.”






With a flicker of happiness, Gorn realizes that his Master has given him the opportunity to finally prove his worth.  Confident with this knew task he remembers too well, his obvious shortcomings from the past.





Gorn remembers a time when he was forced to only act as a sparing partner for Lord Sidious’s apprentice Darth Maul.  One fateful match still haunts his memories…




On that day, Gorn and Maul were locked in a fierce battle.  On that day, Gorn’s staff appeared to be an effective weapon against Maul’s lightsaber (albeit set on training mode).  Sparks flew as the two weapons collided.  Gorn thought to himself this is the day that he will finally defeat the young Sith Lord.






Gorn felt he had the upper hand when suddenly Maul spun about unleashing a furious kick on Gorn’s chest.  With tables turned, Gorn knew his defeat was imminent.





With a Force Push, Gorn was disarmed and flung to the far wall, crushed in yet another easy defeat.





Silently, Lord Sidious entered the room.  Without a glance to Darth Maul or Gorn he spoke slowly.  “Well done my apprentice.  You have become strong with the Force.  I have run out of worthy opponents for you.  Soon you will be unleashed on the Jedi” 





“Thank you, Lord Sidious” says Darth Maul with a smile across his tattooed face.





Shaking the memory from his head, Gorn bows, “Thank you for this task, Lord Sidious.  I will not disappoint you.”





Gorn quickly gathers his staff and prepares to leave.  He knows this will be his only opportunity to please Lord Sidious.  With success, he hopes that he will be taken as an apprentice to the Lord of the Sith.





Elsewhere on Coruscant. 





The Jedi Council has assembled to discuss matters of grave importance.





“A disturbance in the Force sensed have I.  A powerful Sith has emerged” exclaims Yoda to the other members of the Jedi Council.  Mace Windu agrees “Yes, I concur.  However, it is difficult to determine the source.”





“An investigation into this disturbance will be required” states Jedi Master Tiin. “We must act quickly to uncover the Sith.”  Ki-Adi Mundi agrees “Since the defeat of the Sith Lord on Naboo, we have been unable to locate the second Sith Lord.”





“The second Sith Lord, this presence must be” says Yoda “The Master I believe awaits the end of this investigation.”





“Master Yoda, it is unlikely the Sith Lord defeated on Naboo was only an Apprentice.  He nearly defeated two of our greatest Knights.  This new presence is surely the Apprentice.”





“Strong this presence is.  Hidden this Sith Lord remains.  Sure am I that this is the Sith Master.  Discover his presence we must,”says Yoda solemnly. “Likely it is this Sith Lord resides in the Outer Rim.”





“We should send all of our available Jedi Knights to the Outer Rim worlds and investigate.” suggests Jedi Master Koon.  Master Windu agrees, “We already have several Knights at some of those locations.”





“Then it is settled.  An investigation for this Sith Lord will commence at once.  I will communicate to the Jedi to start their investigations.”





On the outer rim world of Yavin 4, Aayla Secura and Agen Kolar receive the message from Master Windu “You must determine if the Sith Lord resides on this world.  His presence is strong on the dark side of the force.  If he is truly as powerful as the Council believes, discovering his presence will be difficult but possible through cooperation with the Force.”





Investigating the Korun tribes on Harunn Kal, Jedi Master Kala Mly Shundi receives the same message from Master Windu.






Ty-Ri Docosto and Colemon Trebor are summoned to the Jedi Temple by Mace Windu where they are briefed on the Council’s decision.  “Ty-Ri, you are to go to Tatooine and commence your investigation.  Coleman, you will travel to Kessel.”





“Ty-Ri, this is your first mission since you passed the trials.  You will be responsible to conduct your own investigation.” states Master Windu.  “I am ready Master Windu.  I am eager to complete this mission.” exclaims Ty-Ri in an excited voice.






“Good Luck Ty-Ri Docosto.  May the Force be with you.”






Ty-Ri Docosto makes the last minute preparations to his Jedi Starfighter.  He is quite anxious to initiate his first mission as a Jedi Knight.






Coleman Trebor approaches the rear of Ty-Ri’s landing platform.  “Ty-Ri, you must exercise patience my former Padawan.  Be mindful of the Force and trust your feelings.  I am confident that you will succeed in this mission.”






“Thank you Master.  You have taught me well.  You know that my impatience is just misunderstood for my desire to become a great Jedi Master.  Your guidance has taught me well.  I will focus on the task at hand.  Good Luck Master.  May the Force be with you.”






Shortly after Master Trebor departs, Ty-Ri Docosot hears a whiney voice “Ty-Ri Docosto, Were you going to leave Coruscant without saying goodbye to me?”  Aleena Tyrazika, the daughter of the Baron Tyrazika was standing behind the Jedi Starfighter.





“Aleena, what are you doing here?  I’ve told you that you have no future with me,” says Ty-ri coldly.  “You must stop following me around.  Jedi are not permitted to have ‘relationships’.”





“But Ty-Ri, I love you.  We must be together,” Aleena says sobbing.  “You know that I’ve loved you since you saved me from certain death at the hands of the Black Sun. We must be together.”  Trying to ignore her, Ty-Ri climbs into his cockpit.  “Aleena, there is no ‘us’  I am a Jedi Knight.  It was my mission to save you, nothing more.  I am glad you are safe but there is no love.”






“Ty-Ri, you must be careful on this mission.  We will talk more when you return, my love.”






With confusing feelings in his mind, Ty-Ri Docosto departs for Tatooine…






On Tatooine, Lord Plageus plots his next move…





“Lord Punio, it is time to join to complete powers of the Dark Side,” exclaims the Lord of the Sith. 





“What do you wish of my my Master?” asks the eager Jawa Apprentice?





“You must travel to see Gardulla the Hutt.  Bring back the dark power that you gave to her those many years ago.  Don’t be surprised if this object is much different than you remember.”





“Yes Master, it will be done.”





Silently leaving the Cave, Punio remembers the shortcut he took when first tasked with delivering the shimmering orb…

« Last Edit: May 21, 2006, 03:16 PM by BrentS »

Offline BrentS

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2006, 11:38 AM »
Finished up Chapter 3 this morning.  Introducing several new characters in this Chapter and I hope to start building some inter-character relationships.  This one doesn't have much action but really sets up the concluding chapters.  I've introduced all the major characters at this point.  This is the longest of the three (about 15 more pictures I think).

Hope you enjoy...
« Last Edit: May 21, 2006, 11:41 AM by BrentS »

Offline jedistyle

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2006, 12:33 PM »
i think chapter 3 has been the best yet. great work brent!

i like the gorn charecter. it is very beliveable that sidious would use lackey's like him between apprintaces, making them do his work with promises of dark power. very creative way to add a dark charecter.

the jedi council session was really well done as well. the dialog between the masters was true to what we see in the movies and it flowed really well. the part where windu issued the mission orders to the other jedi was really cool, especially the cameo of kala mly shundi.

your effects where prett good. i liked the smoke in gorns flashback and mauls lightsaber. i thought i remembered lord punio's eye's being red though....

overall, a great new chapter, it was very entertaininig and very well done. keep up the good work!
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Offline Smartypants1635

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2006, 01:37 PM »
Wow, great job Brent.
This story was very captivating, and the dialouge was excellant.
Did you borrow Kala or did you make you own, that was cool to see characters others have made incorperated into the story.

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2006, 03:11 PM »
Brent, this chapter was stunning.  Absolutely stunning.  So many great things happened in this chapter that really caught my eye.

(1) The Jedi Council scene, your diorama here really is amazing and makes this scene so believable.  Awesome interaction between the Jedi here, and the pics were outstanding.

(2) Thanks for putting in Kala Mly Shundi in there, I wasn't quite sure how you would pull that off, but you did a great job with it.

(3) The flashback scene between Maul and Gorn was great, especially the foggy effects.

(4) Loved the custom of Ty-Ri, totally awesome. He looks like he's seen a lot of action yet is still young and has a lot ot learn.  Cool seeing a woman after him like that too, and he's trying to follow the rules of the Jedi.

Overall, this was one of my favorite chapters that ANYONE has ever made in a photonovel.  So well done, excellent work Brent and thank you for sharing it with us.  I can't wait to see what happens next, I think I predict an encounter between Gorn and the Sith Jawa...

 :)


Offline Darth_Ennis

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2006, 10:00 AM »
This story just keeps getting better. Personally I like the intrigue. Stories don't have to have non stop action to be good. I am happy that you kept the name Darth Punio. I am anxious to see whare this is going.

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2006, 11:48 AM »
Finished up Chapter 3 this morning.  Introducing several new characters in this Chapter and I hope to start building some inter-character relationships.  This one doesn't have much action but really sets up the concluding chapters.  I've introduced all the major characters at this point.  This is the longest of the three (about 15 more pictures I think).

Concluding chapters???  :(

First off, nice pics of the cityscape of Coruscant. The sunset scene looks really good, and sets up the story perfectly.  Gorn is a cool fig, especially the way you featured his uniform.  Ugly face but awesome custom.  Great idea to use the Red Guard fig. 

The Jedi Council scene was excellent.  BUt you should use some of the ROTS figs instead of the Council figs.  Ki-Adi and Saesee look really freaky!

Nice pics fo Mace sending the word out.  Good poses and backgrounds.  Ty-Ri is also a great looking custom.  Funny to read the scene with his "stalker", errrr, admirer.  Look forward to his story and how he reacts to eveything going on.

Also, major props to you for taking such great close-up pics.  That is one limitation of my camera, but you got some great-looking pics in this chapter.

Looking forward to the "concluding chapters".... >:(
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Offline Quazar

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2006, 06:20 PM »
Another awesome chapter!

Here's my miniscule gripe:  The sentence about Lord Gorn hoping to "replace Lord Maul" is just slightly misleading, I initially thought this scene was taking place prior to Maul's death in TPM, as if Maul was still alive and Gorn was hoping to nudge him out of the way.

Minor gripe 2:  I wish you had painted Gorn just a bit, to make him look different than the standard Imperial guard.  The face is cool and the Imperial Guard armor is awesome for customizing, but a little painting to differentiate him from the guards would have been nice.

Now, that said, this is another great, great chapter.  I really love where this story is going and I hope to see a big smackdown between Punio and Gorn.

I really just love, love, love the re-animated Plageuis storyline, it's very clever and not something I've seen before in photonovels or in SW EU (not that I actually read any of it).  But it's very clever and imaginative nevertheless.

And, of course, your dioramas are just mind-blowing, especially that kick-ass council scene!

The fight scene was also damn cool!  Well-done.

I was very glad to see a scene of the Council actually discussing the Sith threat and I think we should have seen a similar scene in AOTC, since that movie almost makes it seem like the Council has all but forgotten about the Sith, but in ROTS there are numerous references to the "Sith we've been looking for," even though they don't seem very interested or concerned in AOTC at all.

Very nice customs and I really like your original characters, you do a very economical job of establishing them in short scenes.  Punio was great, but I like Ty-Ri and Gorn a great deal and they feel very fleshed-out already.

I also like the custom ship!  Is that a GI Joe plane?  I think I saw that recently in a store and thought that it would make a great custom SW fighter.  Nice job!  Nice painting and use of a droid head.

I am not sure about Aleena, though.  I wish you had made her a little more sympathetic, not just a whiny spoiled girl.  She comes across like Stacy, Wayne's clingy ex-girlfriend from "Wayne's World", but she's not very interesting or sympathetic.  I think exploring the dynamic of a young Jedi torn between duty and love is rife with dramatic potential, so try to make Aleena a little more compelling, not just a needy clinger.

Anyway, that said, this is still first-rate, kick ass material!  Keep up the amazing work!
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Offline BrentS

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2006, 12:26 PM »
Thanks for all the great feedback on this project.  I appreciate everyone taking the time to read through this.  As much as I enjoy the process of the Photonovels, I love hearing everyone's feedback (good and bad).

I'll try to address individual questions here:

JediStyle:

i like the gorn charecter. it is very beliveable that sidious would use lackey's like him between apprintaces, making them do his work with promises of dark power. very creative way to add a dark charecter.

i thought i remembered lord punio's eye's being red though....
That is exactly what I was going for with Gorn - a lackey that just does the dirty work.  I agree its very believable.

I went back and looked  - I did make Punio's eyes glow red.  I'll have to fix that in this verision!  Good catch.

Smartypants:
Did you borrow Kala or did you make you own, that was cool to see characters others have made incorperated into the story.
Chewie set up the shot for me with Kala.  I just added Mace Windu and cropped to my liking.  It was fun to set up a brief Cameo.


Chewie:
Thanks for all the great comments.  I was glad Kala worked out so well.  As you can imagine, my favorite parts were the Jedi Council scenes.

as far as Gorn and Punio... You may be surprised by this one

Darth_Ennis:
I just decided that I should stick to my guns and keep the name Punio.  Its a bit comical I suppose but he's the name I came up with first.

SA_Longhorn:

Concluding chapters???  :(


The Jedi Council scene was excellent.  BUt you should use some of the ROTS figs instead of the Council figs.  Ki-Adi and Saesee look really freaky!


Also, major props to you for taking such great close-up pics.  That is one limitation of my camera, but you got some great-looking pics in this chapter.


The story has to end sometime right?  I imagine that I'm probably 1/3 to half way through it.  However each chapter gets more involved that I expect so I may still have several more chapters to go.  I've also seen that each chapter is more complicated in terms of "sets" and customs needed. 

I probably should have used the Sith versions for Ki-Adi and Saesee.  I just took the ones I had with the chairs and added some robes to several of them.  If I ever retake these shots, I'll definitely upgrade some council members!  I just love the pose I got with the Saesee shot I don't want to redo it :) :)

I'm very happy with my digi camera.  Its got a good Macro setting that really lets you get in close.  Sometimes its too close and brings out the flaws in the customs :)

Quazar: - your comments are so exstensive I'm goint to try to reply to each one

Here's my miniscule gripe: The sentence about Lord Gorn hoping to "replace Lord Maul" is just slightly misleading, I initially thought this scene was taking place prior to Maul's death in TPM, as if Maul was still alive and Gorn was hoping to nudge him out of the way.


Good point.  I'll try to clean up that dialogue to reflect that he wants to fill the vancency created by Maul's death.


Minor gripe 2: I wish you had painted Gorn just a bit, to make him look different than the standard Imperial guard. The face is cool and the Imperial Guard armor is awesome for customizing, but a little painting to differentiate him from the guards would have been nice.


I actually did add some gold lining around the edges of the armor.  Very subtle but additions none-the-less.  I didn't use his helmet in these shots but it was also modified a little bit.  I probably won't change the figure that much now but its still a good critique.

I really just love, love, love the re-animated Plageuis storyline, it's very clever and not something I've seen before in photonovels or in SW EU (not that I actually read any of it). But it's very clever and imaginative nevertheless.

I actually stole this idea from the Harry Potter stories.  A lot of analogies with Voldemort and the Sith...

I was very glad to see a scene of the Council actually discussing the Sith threat and I think we should have seen a similar scene in AOTC, since that movie almost makes it seem like the Council has all but forgotten about the Sith, but in ROTS there are numerous references to the "Sith we've been looking for," even though they don't seem very interested or concerned in AOTC at all.
I totally agree with you on this one.  We really needed this type of discussion in EP2.  We got a little of this in the Labrynth of Evil book but not enough.  I struggled a bit trying to make the dialogue "beleivable" in terms of how we would imagine the council reacting.


I also like the custom ship! Is that a GI Joe plane? I think I saw that recently in a store and thought that it would make a great custom SW fighter. Nice job! Nice painting and use of a droid head.
The ship is a CORP vehicle base.  $5 at wal-mart with some modification using styrene sheets and droid head.  You can see some WIPs over in the Monthly Challenge thread.

I am not sure about Aleena, though. I wish you had made her a little more sympathetic, not just a whiny spoiled girl. She comes across like Stacy, Wayne's clingy ex-girlfriend from "Wayne's World", but she's not very interesting or sympathetic. I think exploring the dynamic of a young Jedi torn between duty and love is rife with dramatic potential, so try to make Aleena a little more compelling, not just a needy clinger.
Aleena was the single biggest challenge in this chapter.  I almost deleted the sequence entirely.  I'm not even sure how much she'll show up in the future chapters.  I really wanted to introduce her so that if I do Photonovel two which may be the life and times of Ty-Ri (as a padawan and jedi knight).  I set up her backstory a little.  This Photonovel is the first time I've every done any "creative" writing where you have to come up with characters.  Maybe I played the spoiled girl too much.  I want to set the stage where Ty-Ri is trying to follow the jedi way but has an attractive women throwing herself at him.  Now you can argue on wheather my version of Aleena custom is attractive or not but I hope to do better with her in future versions.



Well in summary, thanks again.   As long as you guys enjoy the story I'll keep on working on it.  The next chapter will require a couple of pretty extensive customs and sets.  I better get cracking...


Offline In Rem

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2006, 08:57 PM »
BrentS - just realized I never posted in here! Sorry.

The great: Your photos. You're as good as anyone on the boards at putting these things together. I particularly like the battle scenes between Maul and Gorn, the cameo for KMS, and the platform scenes with Ty-Ri and his ship. Really amazing stuff. I also like the customs you've incorporated. Gorn shows a lot of promise... the apprentice scorned, as it were. Ty-Ri makes me think of Anakin if he had the sense to think with his head as opposed to his heart.

Your Mace Windu holo messages are very well done, although I'd suggest a bit more of a blue glow on them. Very, very minor gripe.

You can really feel the duel of the Sith building here. You've even managed to make a Sith Jawa believable and not at all silly (which I thought he might be the first time I saw him... you've pulled it off, man!)

Your concept for the reborn Plagueis is really nice. It reminds me of the Mummy, but in a very positive way. Using the Rock Viper helmet as you have is very convincing.

Man, seeing all I really like about this chapter has only made me feel worse about not commenting sooner. Keep up the great work. I can't wait to see where we're heading with this...

Offline Deanna Rash

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Re: Duel of the Sith: Chapter 3 - The Investigation
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2006, 09:27 PM »
 ;)The photos and the customs are great>I like the story so far as well
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