If you and I weren't married, I might be inclined to ask you out...
That would be disturbing, if I didn't technically own
Not that it should come as a big surprise, but like Beth, I have no problem shooting off my mouth (I mean that as a complement).
My favorite is when people park along the front of a mall, usually in front of a walmart because they'll only be a minute
. If the timing is right and I'm passing by as they come out, I'll usually ask the following question: is that piano heavy?
To which they dumbfoundedly reply what piano?
My reply being the one tied to your ass that made it so hard to walk across the ******* parking lot!
Another time my mouth got me in quasi-trouble. I was late getting in to work after dropping the kid off. The admin blabber mouth up front immediately started pestering me about being late and why it was so and that it wouldn't happen if I was a good employee and moved out of the city and lived in town like I was supposed to
It's about 45 steps across the front of the admin area to my office and she nattered away the whole time. I got to my office, turned around and in a rather livid voice yelled maybe for once it's none of your ******* business
. Yes, I used *******, not the more literal term and it was a damn good thing. You see, my brand new bosses office is all of two doors, about 10 feet from mine. It was his first day there that morning and he heard/saw it all. I'm sitting in my office not more than a minute later, he walks to my doorway, smiles, shakes his head and walks away.
Hasn't fired me yet. Yet.