Author Topic: The Annex  (Read 2387 times)

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2006, 10:42 AM »
I am a little dismayed over the fact that there are so many good photonovels here and at RS that seem to get very little feedback.........

Wow, good words, Quazar.  But I think we should post this in another PN Discussion thread instead of here.  I wouldn't want to detract from FLACKS' thread by beginning this interesting conversation here.

I'll post my comments from RS to return to subject:

Outstanding, FLACKS!!!

A serious Photonovel from the Jester of RS PNs??

A very creative inventive plot you created here. Never would have occured to me to create a Jail facility on Coruscant. Great customs (you've crossed over to the dark side!) and great use of those orange jumpsuits. Those look permanent, since they seemed to be stitched on.

The dialgue really bring the story to life. Your pics are sharp and clear, and the framing of each pic is perfect. But the dialogue really adds to the pics and is a perfect compliment. The personalities of Dozier, Hollis, the Clones, and the inmates is very distinct. Dozier seems like a bad-a$$, and Hollis and the Clones are like "deer in headlights". And the inmates seem to have their own personality and story to tell. Great story-telling with the narratives between the pics and dialogue.

I hope this isn't the only story you tell in the Annex. I say that b/c of the last part being called the "Epilogue". If so, then I really look forward to the next story. If not, then what are you thinking?!?!? Create more stories, FLACKS!!!

BRAVO!!! 
« Last Edit: August 23, 2006, 10:46 AM by S_A_Longhorn »
"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline Quazar

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2006, 02:04 PM »
^You're absolutely right, LONGHORN.  I didn't mean to derail Flacksguy's awesome PN thread.

This is just latest in a disturbing trend.  A truly awesome story with so little traffic.

But, to reiterate, this is an EXTREMELY original and fantastically entertaining effort. 

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Offline Angry Ewok

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2006, 02:43 PM »
Quazar, why don't you make a new thread for the PN discussion? I'd like to delve into that topic.

I like the premise of the Annex story, and I think Annex has potential to be a really interesting series. This story sort of felt like a pilot episode, I hope there's more... because I'm looking forward to seeing what direction this goes, because as far as I know, nobody has ever done anything in a setting like this.

The epilogue fell flat, though.

Offline Flacksguy

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2006, 12:42 AM »
Wow, thanks for the responses. Sorry I have been unable to reply until now, but I moved into a new house on Tuesday and have been without internet access, and only have limited access now.

Quazar - really appreciate the indepth reply, glad you liked it as much as you did. I completely understand where you're coming from regarding the traffic issue, and will address that in the other thread.
The entire idea came from my own experiences as a Correctional Officer, everything from the story, to the dialogue, to the characters is modeled after real life events.
I'm glad people seem to like Sgt. Dozier specifically, because that is an accurate portrayal of the real Sgt. Dozier. A tough as nails, no nonsense, by the book, type officer, who was a huge role model for me when I was new.
The jumpsuits......well, it wasn't that they were hard,
just time consuming. I think I made 23, and it took about 20 mins to do each one.
Again, thanks for taking the time to write up such a long response, very much appreciated.

Longhorn - Thanks again for the comments, I appreciate the fact that your always on the lookout for my PN's, no matter how far between they are.  :)

Ewok  - Thanks for checking it out, and for your advice that first night  ;)
I agree about the Epilogue, I wasn't very happy with the very last line.
The end of a shift is usually kind of uneventful, and I wanted to portray that, but I was looking for one last profound comment from Hollis there at the end, but I just couldn't come up with anything.


One thing I wanted to mention while I'm thinking of it,
no one brought up the use of the Death Star Gunners, which were a VERY, VERY last minute substitution. I mean VERY last minute. I had already started taking pictures with Blue royal guards as the officers when I found my first DS Gunner and just  absolutely had to switch. They couldn't have been more perfect for this PN. Even down to the chest armour, which were very much like the stab proof vests we really did have to wear.
Luckily they came out at just the right time.

Again, much thanks to everyone who has taked the time to check out my PN.


Offline Combat Chuck

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #19 on: August 25, 2006, 05:53 PM »
Sorry if I sound like a broken record here...
Awesome PN! I especially liked your story and dialogue. Some PNs don't seem to have very thought-out stories, but yours really drew me in. Can't wait to see what happens next!
I'm glad you made the switch to DS gunners for your guards. The chest armour and jumpsuit looks a lot like riot gear. Plus, they look tougher and less 'fancy' than a senate guard would have.

Offline CloneCommander1

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #20 on: August 25, 2006, 06:15 PM »
     Wow Flacks, I thought I commented on this already.   Anyway, this truly is a masterpiece.  I love the customs, espically the inmates oranges jumpsuits, and the Custom DS Gunners.  You wouldn't happen to have the heads left over, would you?  I really love the character develompent, espically of dozier.  Some great dios you built too. 

      I also think that you did a great job of creating some great conversations, so that, even if there's not an action scene going on, the intrest and excitment stays way up. For a first(I think) foray into the dramatic side of photonovels, you really are doing amazingly well.  Great Job!
It's not just football, it's Notre Dame football!

Offline Quazar

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2006, 10:51 PM »
Wow, Flacksguy!  I had no idea you worked (are still woring?) as a correctional officer.  I can't imagine how difficult a job that must be.

Your story really does have the ring of authenticity to it,  it's thoughtfully written, believable and dramatic.

Please continue this story, as this was anexcellent set-up, but I'd very much love to see more!

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Offline Flacksguy

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2006, 09:41 PM »

Combat Chuck - Thanks for checking it out, don't worry about sounding like a broken record, I could read posts like yours all day.  ;D
I was actually going to take the capes off the Senate Guards and use them that way, but once I got my hands on a DS Gunner, it was a no-brainer. They couldn't have been more perfect.

CloneCommander Thanks for the great comments. As far as the heads go, I put the VOTC Han and Luke heads back on the figures they belong on, and I put the other DS gunner heads back on the Gunner figures for now.
I may display a Gunner with the Dozier head though.
Interesting story about the dios, I'm glad you mentioned them. They are the reason I finally got this PN done in the first place.
I probably had the idea for this story floating around in my head since last year, but I knew creating some sort of environment that looked like a jail would take alot of time and effort. I've never built any kind of dio before, so I had no idea where to even begin. I just kept putting it off, until I got a new Barbeque Grill for Father's Day. The grill came packed with unusually shaped styrafoam pieces. Right away I knew I had my jail.
I just painted the pieces grey, and kept switching them around to give the illusion of different areas of the building.
Quazar- Lucky for me I do not work there anymore, I stay home with my two kids full time now. Not even sure I will go back when they are in school full time, I may do something completely different. It was pretty difficult, and quite scary in the beginning, but after your first year, it's not so bad.
Thanks again for the feedback, I appreciate it.

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #23 on: August 28, 2006, 12:59 PM »
See, what I tell ya, FLACKS?!?!?!

JD has a good collection of PN readers.  They always like original , new stories!  No surprise that your story has gotten a bigger reaction over here versus RS.

See??  What I tell ya?!?!  What I tell ya?!?!

Oh, and I liked your PN too!  ;D
"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline Artoo

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2006, 09:01 PM »
My computer finally forgot my password on RS, dang they don't like PNs still do they. :-X
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Offline Deanna Rash

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2006, 09:11 PM »
This was really good story and shots! Good job1
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Offline Darth Depressis

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #26 on: December 21, 2006, 12:52 AM »
all i gotta say is you had me at Warning.

its nice to see a pn with balls.

Offline Smartypants1635

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #27 on: December 21, 2006, 01:04 AM »
what ever happened to this story Flax

Offline Flacksguy

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Re: The Annex
« Reply #28 on: December 21, 2006, 12:53 PM »

Whoops, Haven't checked on this in a while.

Thanks for the comments Deanna Rash, Darth Depressis & Smartypants1635
Glad you all liked it. I'll probably try and get this entered in the contest, along with a funny one I did back in Jan.
Thanks again.