Author Topic: =Shaddows Dawn #1= Predator & Prey  (Read 742 times)

Offline jedistyle

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=Shaddows Dawn #1= Predator & Prey
« on: May 19, 2007, 10:24 PM »
SHADDOWS DAWN
A Darktimes Story

      Dark Days grip the Galaxy. The once joyful cheers pf a victorius Republic have been silenced. Replaced by whispers and fears of the unknown, and a newly risen Empire.

     The Jedi, once great protectors and peace keepers of the Republic have been cast out as traitors, blammed for the CloneWars. Some Jedi have accepted the fall of the Order as the will of the force and broke all ties to the Jedi, seeking ordinary lives. Others have gone into exile, meditating on the darkness that now holds power, waiting for the time when the Jedi may rise again. Still others roam the galaxy, organizing Anti-Imperial groups, seeking away to strike back at the Empire and surplant the new Emperor, a Sith Lord.

     Rumors abound of the invasion of Kashyykk and the enslavment of the Wookies, the battles of New Plympto and the massacre of the Nosaurians. Common sentients live in fear. For others however, it is a time of prosparity and wealth. Boutny Hunters collect on Jedi fugitives, Rebel factions and anyone else the Empire deems dangerous to it's rule. Mercenaries and Henchmen hire on with wealthy Crime Lords and Business Sentients looking to protect thier assets. The spice and illegal weapons market is more than any Smuggler can handle.

     In the new Empire the innocent are made to suffer, the wicked flourish and ther are infinant possibilities for both good and evil.....


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Planet Gendorn, on the busy City walk of Zariiu, many sentients carry on with normal lives.




But for some, daily life is full of paranoia, fear and violence.




Every step they take mabey thier last.....





The "Mad Claw" Lounge and Cantina, a favorite watering hole of Citizens, Bounty Hunters and every other walk of life in Zariiu.




Usually a place for Sentients to get a drink and ease thier troubles.




But one Sentient, a viscious deveronian Bounty Hunter named Travillar, has just one thing on his mind today.




Travillar eyes another customer as he makes his way to his informant, "I have appointment, you'd be smart to go get drink now".




The shady Quermian looks to Travillar and shows a bit of fake hospitality, "Good day fellow Sentient, what can i do for you? Are in need of directions?"

Travillar growls back "Only one thing I seek from you, information....."





The quermian cuts the pleasantries as he asks what the Deveronians business is, "I know who you are and what you seek. But my services are no small matter, are you sure your funded well enough to use them?"




Agitated, Travillar replies "More than enough for your kind, 10,000 creds will cover, yesss?"




"That should be sufficent." Says the Quermian.

Travillars eyes narrow, "Now tell me, where can I find Jedi?"






To Travillars twisted delight, the Quermian informant simply raises his hand and points to another patron in the Cantina.




Travillar approaches the young Aqualish which the Quermian pointed out cautiously, "You are new face here, yesss? Mabey then you can help me with problem...."

The Aqualish looks up, unflinching, "I am not familiar with this place, but i will help if i can."





"I am looking for someone that carries unique item."

"What item might that be?" the young Aqualish replies.

Travillars, lip twitches "Your laser sword......"





A sharp hum and the scent of burnt ozone is prevelant as the Lightsaber ignites about the same time that Travillar swings open his cloak to reveal his cybernetic arms brimming with fire power, " AAAAAHHHHHH!"




The young Aqualish jedi is no fool and quickly decides this is a fight he can't win with so many other Bounty Hunters and low-lifes present, who might capitalize on the situation.




With a blinding Force assisted leap, the Jedi flips clear of the Bounty Hunters line of fire.




In a fit of rage that his prey might escape, Travillar fires wildly trying to keep the Jedi in his sights. But the Jedi is far to quick and Travillar riddles the cieling and walls will blaster holes.




With the force as his allie, by the time his feet hit the floor, the Aqualish jedi is already heading out of the Cantina.


 

Travillar tears through the other Cantina patrons after his bounty, knocking over several innocent bystanders on his way.




Knowing full well he can't match the Jedi's speed, Travillar levels his blaster and takes precise aim.




He fires a fully charged blaster bolt into the Jedi's back.




Through the force, the Jedi feels the Blaster bolt coming, but there is little even a Jedi can do to deflect such a powerful blaster bolt from behind. The Aqualish drops to the Cantina floor as the blast tears through his right side.




As he heads for the downed Jedi, a seemingly unthreatening Quarren bystander blindsides the Deveronian Bounty Hunter and draws a blaster on the crowd of others that might take the Jedi bounty.




The Quarren waves his blaster at all the would-be Bounty hunters. "No one move, this Jedi is mine and I'm taking him, anyone follows, and my blaster barrell will be the last thing you ever see!"




A group of Iktochi mercenaries, blasters drawn, stare down the Quarren as he lifts the barely concious Jedi to his feet and Travillar struggles to climb to his hands and knees just in time to watch his bounty slip away.




The Quarren backs out of the Cantina slowly with the Jedi, leaving a scene of disaray and angry Bounty Hunters wondering where he will take the Jedi and if they could possibly head him off and collect the bounty thierselves.................



[size=18]=TO BE CONTINUED=[/size]



This is my first dio-story wiht effects, I a begginger with that. I also had some back and forths about how to do the dialog and tell the story. But I hope you enjoyed it and I could definetley use some feedback, suggestions and comments on what to improve, no matter how big or small they mey be. thanks!
« Last Edit: May 19, 2007, 10:45 PM by jedistyle »
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Offline Deanna Rash

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Re: =Shaddows Dawn #1= Predator & Prey
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2007, 11:38 PM »
8)Awesome!! Cool !! Great customs!! I like the lighting and effects!! The story is pretty good too!!! :)
The ablity to speak does not make you intelligent - now get out of here!

Offline David

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Re: =Shaddows Dawn #1= Predator & Prey
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2007, 06:23 PM »
I think the pictures and customs are awesome and the story is pretty good, too, but no offense intended the spelling and grammar could use some work. Other than that, I really really like your pn and cant wait to see what happens next!!!  8)
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Offline jedistyle

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Re: =Shaddows Dawn #1= Predator & Prey
« Reply #3 on: June 7, 2007, 07:08 PM »
deanna - thanks alot for your comments. i hope you enjoyed the story and the effects. as i said it was my first shot at effects so thanks for your encouragement!

robo quack glad you liked the pics and customs. i had hoped people would enjoy the story too, so much of what you see in PN's is clones, clones, clones, i really wanted to try and breakaways from that era.

no offense taken on the grammar suggestion. if it is in the deveronians lines, i was trying to emphasize the lisp and poor ability to speak basic in that spicies. otherwise it's just me messing up! i'll dfinetley run a spell check next chapter.

thanks for your comments and suggestions! :)
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: =Shaddows Dawn #1= Predator & Prey
« Reply #4 on: June 9, 2007, 02:11 AM »
Thought I'd post my response here too for you Jedistyle -

Quote from: YAK_Chewie
Wow, this was amazing!  I's so glad you posted your first photonovel...  What a treat - it was fun getting to read through this and enjoy such a fun story.

The only thing that I'd suggest is to run a quick spell check - a few typos here and there but nothing that takes away from the story.

The positives on this are everywhere...

- Fantastic customs!  Some of these I don't think I've seen before.  You're definitely one of the best in the hobby, and seeing them in action is so cool.

- The diorama - WOW!  This really stands out and shows a lot of committment... not to take away from anyone else, but when an environment such as this is used, it really makes your work a grade above the average photonovel.

- Great effects!  Those really turned out well.  The saber, and blast was great!  So was the ripple effect when the Jedi is using the Force.  Outstanding.

- Awesome photography... the pics were crystal clear and really good angles were used. 

- Awesome storyline... the characters really seemed realistic, I loved the conversations and their actions. 

This really is great work Jedistyle.  Especially for your first time out on this.  Unreal.  Keep up the fantastic work, I hope we get treated to another chapter soon!


Again, to echo my earlier comments - this is a very fun start to your new series.  You've set the bar very high!

 :P