Yes, we lost my brother (under my avatar, MBW) to suicide nearly six years ago, and it deeply, profoundly affected all aspects of who I am. I'm convinced that it had such a negative effect on my mother that it ultimately was an indirect cause of her death a little over a year later (NGW). As a parent, I could not imagine outliving my children.
The most important concept I've gained from it is that it needs
to be discussed frankly, openly and constantly because it's something that just can't be totally understood, and probably never will. When it first happened, most of my family were reluctant to discuss how he died, and my dad would even become angry if he suspected anyone had told anyone else. There's just this overwhelming stigma attached to suicide, and talking about it openly is the only way for the living to accept and gain some semblance of moving on.
Sorry you're having to go through this.
It's not easy, but you're not alone, and do try to discuss it with your family and friends.