Author Topic: How were you affected?  (Read 785 times)

Offline JesseVader08

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How were you affected?
« on: December 6, 2006, 05:56 AM »
Uh, ok, this is perhaps a bit more serious than usual.  Have you ever lost a friend or family member to suicide?  How did it affect you?  I just thought I'd generate some discussion after a friend of mine ended his life. 

Offline Greg

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #1 on: December 6, 2006, 06:12 AM »
I haven't been affected, and I hope that I never am, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry to hear about your friend.


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Offline Jesse James

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #2 on: December 6, 2006, 06:14 AM »
Hey Jesse, I'm sorry to hear that man...  That's a real shame, and unfortunately people in that frame of mind don't think about (can't think about is maybe better to say) how that will effect others...  I'm just sorry it's something that's happened to you and obviously on your mind man.  :(  Mental health issues are something I'm not fond of discussing in general...  My brother's a psychologist, and I sometimes think he went into it looking for answers more than money...  

It's a terrible thing you're dealing with I'm sure Jesse, and even worse for his family I imagine, so I hope you're dealing ok with it man.
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Offline Ryan

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #3 on: December 6, 2006, 06:22 AM »
I'm real sorry to hear about your friend Jesse. While I've never had someone close to me commit suicide, there was a kid in my graduating class that shot himself in the head about this time two years ago. I never really knew him so I didn't take it very hard, but I knew some people that it was pretty hard on.

My aunt was suicidal for awhile, and may be still, and it certainly wasn't fun. I couldn't imagine her ever doing killing herself. I've been though rough times myself and there was a very brief time I almost considered it. But I thought to myself that even though my life sucked at the tim, that I still liked being alive. I don't think I'll ever be able to understand the idea of suicide. I know it's much easier said than done, but the best thing to do is to try and remember all the good times you had together and be greatful for every day you have.
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Offline Tracy

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #4 on: December 6, 2006, 11:05 AM »
Jesse --

I'm sorry to hear about your friend -- and I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.  While I've never had a friend kill themselves, I do know how hard it is to lose a friend.  I imagine there's a whole additional set of stuff to deal with -- trying to figure out why they would do that and what you could have done to change it.  There probably aren't any answers and there probably wasn't anything anyone could do. 

How was I affected?  I was and still am haunted by it.  I even went through the typical "phase" where I was pissed at Shannon for dying.  I wanted to have someone to blame.  I couldn't sleep.  It invaded my thoughts at the most inopportune times.  I would lose focus.  But it also blessed me too.  It gave me a much different perspective on things.  Even though I already "knew it", I really learned what was important and what wasn't worth worrying about.  I'll keep you and his family in my prayers.  I hope you can find some peace.
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Offline Darby

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #5 on: December 6, 2006, 01:05 PM »
Very sorry to hear about that Jesse. 

Offline stormie

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #6 on: December 6, 2006, 01:49 PM »
Yes, we lost my brother (under my avatar, MBW) to suicide nearly six years ago, and it deeply, profoundly affected all aspects of who I am. I'm convinced that it had such a negative effect on my mother that it ultimately was an indirect cause of her death a little over a year later (NGW). As a parent, I could not imagine outliving my children.

The most important concept I've gained from it is that it needs to be discussed frankly, openly and constantly because it's something that just can't be totally understood, and probably never will. When it first happened, most of my family were reluctant to discuss how he died, and my dad would even become angry if he suspected anyone had told anyone else. There's just this overwhelming stigma attached to suicide, and talking about it openly is the only way for the living to accept and gain some semblance of moving on.

Sorry you're having to go through this. :'( It's not easy, but you're not alone, and do try to discuss it with your family and friends. 
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Offline jedipurge

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #7 on: December 6, 2006, 03:08 PM »
When I was 12, 28 now, my grandfather decided take to do the same.  He was like a second father to me.  He had Lou Garigs, spelling  :P, and decided while his wife was out X-mas shopping he'd do it.  He had decided to do it then because he wasn't sure how long his strength would hold out for him to do it himself, it'll be 16 years ago this month and I still haven't learned to accept it.  I don't even think I cried.  There are no words, while you definately need to talk about it, that will take away this pain.  Only time.
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Offline DSJ™

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #8 on: December 6, 2006, 09:37 PM »
Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Jesse, I we lost a colleague a couple of years ago. It was something that you never expected & it hit hard. When I was told by my night boss before I started work, I just went blank. You could see it in everyones faces that night, just quietness. 

Sorry to see you go through this Jesse, you're not alone.   

Offline Angry Ewok

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #9 on: December 6, 2006, 10:37 PM »
I can't tell you how it's affected me, or even how I've coped with it. People who haven't had to deal with it or had it on their minds themselves can't imagine what sort of an empty pit it can open up in your heart under those circumstances.

Offline JesseVader08

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #10 on: December 7, 2006, 02:04 AM »
Thanks guys for the honest answers.  To be honest, I wasn't expecting so many to reply, but it is much appreciated.  I'm just kinda numb - it seems to be the only way to describe it.

Offline Darth_Anton

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #11 on: December 7, 2006, 09:49 AM »
Jesse, I'm deeply sorry. I know how you feel. I lost an Uncle and at least two (possibly three, as the "accident" was suspicious) friends to suicide as well. It's incredible to think someone would feel that lost.
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Offline Brian

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #12 on: December 7, 2006, 10:03 AM »
Jesse, very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.  Thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Offline JohnH

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #13 on: December 7, 2006, 01:39 PM »
I can't imagine what you have all gone through.  My ex-fiancee decided to off herself the day after we split way back in 1997.  I had left the apartment after we made the split official to get some air, and came back a couple of hours later to blood on the floor with the instrument she used right next to it.  Ironically, she used a CD of Pink Floyd's "The Final Cut"...broke it in half and went at it.   :-\  Thankfully for everyone she decided after getting one wrist done that she was making a mistake, and was able to get help immediately.  Still, having that incident as a part of my life is something that stirs up constant memories and pain, and it wasn't even a complete suicide.

My thoughts go with all of you that have had to deal with this.

John
« Last Edit: December 7, 2006, 09:55 PM by JohnH »

Offline MetalJedi

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Re: How were you affected?
« Reply #14 on: December 7, 2006, 04:01 PM »
Jesse, Im sorry you are going through this. If there's anything we can do we're here for you.
I remember my dream now.