G.I. Joe - The Movie (Live Action)

[Phrubruh]

The only thing that could seriously improve this movie for me?  A pillow fight sequence shot in slow motion, featuring the Baroness, Cover Girl and Scarlett.

That kind of sounds like a movie I saw on Joe Bob Briggs. It started out with these girls that had to clean a warehouse. They finish getting it cleaned but are all dirty. They also find out they are locked in for the night. So naturally they all take a shower (complete with squeaky boobs), put on lingerie and get killed one by one by a manic killer.

[efranks]

Well, the movie did NOT suck.  It was not an art film by any means but I'd guess it was about on par with Transformers; plenty of action, not a lot of acting skills, **** blows up good...that kind of thing.

There is some really bad CGI in places.  Some ridiculous situations and continuity errors that stand out.  The accelerator suits?  Blah.  Not a fan, mostly because they're part of a kind of crappy sequence which owned a lot of that bad CGI I mentioned.

Scarlett, supposed to be hot.  Baroness, supposed to be hot.  Cover Girl, supposed to be hotter.  Not in the movie.  Karolina Kurkova is good looking but doesn't do it for me.  Rachel Nichols and Sienna Miller, on the other hand, are both insanely hot in this film.

Wayans is not annoying.  He, in fact, has some pretty funny one-liners early in the film, most of which are nods to both RAH and vintage GI Joe.  It actually was a fun way to get some of that stuff in without making him a clown in the movie.  Of course, if you've seen the trailers, you've seen he has at least one sight gag.

A lot of the film's dialog seems to be delivered with overly serious, tough sounding one-liners...like the writers just strung together a bunch of stuff by going through a bunch of Schwarzenegger and Stalone films. 

I liked Breaker, funny guy.

The way they tied together the stories of SE/SS, Duke, Ripcord, Baroness, Destro and the Commander is way off book.  It's all new continuity.  Not sure what I think of some of it.  There's some awesome (SE/SS), some good (Commander & Destro), some just okay (Duke & Baroness).

Nanomites.  Meh.  I think the film relied too much on that crutch.  But, that's what you get when you rush a script out before an industry-crippling strike.

Outfits were generally good.  The accelerator suits I'm not ever going to like.  Didn't like the mouth on Snake Eyes' mask.  Sienna Miller can rock the leather.  Dennis Quaid could have been used better. 

Decent film.  Has sequel potential but I'm not thinking that this film is going to burn up the charts.  There were less than 50 people for the midnight showing last night.  Even Angels & Demons had better turnout and that film sucked.

   E...

[iFett]

They don't yell out Yooooooooo Jooooeeeeee! or Cobraaaaaaaaaaaa! - do they?

please say no

[Sprry75]

They don't yell out Yooooooooo Jooooeeeeee! or Cobraaaaaaaaaaaa! - do they?

please say no

Why wouldn't you want that?  It's G.I. ******* Joe!  I loved Watchmen, I love Chris Nolan's Batman movies.  They're supposed to be dark and serious.

But G.I. Joe is supposed to be good guy vs. bad guy technicolor confection.  Hell, if I don't hear Yo Joe! I will be a little bummed....

[GrandMoffNick]

They don't yell out Yooooooooo Jooooeeeeee! or Cobraaaaaaaaaaaa! - do they?

please say no

Why wouldn't you want that?  It's G.I. ******* Joe!  I loved Watchmen, I love Chris Nolan's Batman movies.  They're supposed to be dark and serious.

But G.I. Joe is supposed to be good guy vs. bad guy technicolor confection.  Hell, if I don't hear Yo Joe! I will be a little bummed....

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I'm surprised you wouldn't want them to yell that out Mike. How come?

[iFett]

I thought it was lame as a kid - and I still do.  I obviously have a thing for the franchise, but I can do without that aspect of it.  Not that it will kill the movie for me or anything...but still.

[efranks]

Some would consider this a spoiler, I don't.

One character says "Yo, Joe" one time in the film and it's not terrible.  There were a couple snickers around the theater but I don't know if they were mocking or happy to see the nod.  If it had been early and often it would have sucked, but I didn't mind.

   E...

[MistaBinks]

Spoiler'ish Review - No outright spoilers though. Feel free to delete or edit if needed.

I was thoroughly surprised at how much fun this film was. The humor was good, the action was good, there were a few surprises, and the commercials did not give everything away. Pretty good action movie.

The Good: No fart jokes, no crap jokes, just decent humor, mixed with good action, and a steady progressive storyline. This movie pushes the PG-13 rating to the max. People get shot, stabbed, and killed. Even major characters that you see on the toy aisle are killed. I was most surprised that everyone goes for head shots instead of more family friendly body shots (sounds silly but you know what I mean).

I thought they did a great job of telling a fun story, an origin story, and then also setting up future sequels. Nothing seemed to drag on - which is a good thing!

Somewhat spoiler'ish talk below

The Bad: The only major complaint I have is when Cobra Commander officially makes his debut. The movie had been going along so smoothly up until that point. This movie would have popped big time if Cobra Commander revealed himself with his shield helmet or blue hood. It would have worked perfectly with the way the movie was wrapping up. Instead, we get this:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/Cobra%20Commander.jpg

Major, major let down. I know certain things have to be updated and changed in order to bring the franchise to the big screen. Still, even with Cobra Commander's storyline, there was no reason not to go with either of these.

http://xrayvision.today.com/files/2009/04/cobra-commander-gi-joe.jpg

http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/gi-joe-cobra-commander.jpg

Not the worst thing and it doesn't ruin anything. Other than that, not too much to complain about. There is a bit of Star Wars'itis as the world grows very small. A good guy and a bad girl were formerly engaged. A bad girl is the sister of a bad guy. A bad guy and a good guy are brothers. Again, not the worst thing.

The CGI is kind of weak in some parts but the actors do a fantastic job of interacting with it. That sort of makes up for the weak CGI. You kind of forget that something looks fake when you see a character fly away in it or interact in it.

I will definitely watch this at least one more time in the theaters. Highly recommended.

[Dressel Rebel]

I'm encouraged that I haven't seen anything here like I saw in the Transformers thread.  It would have been hard for a movie to be that bad, it was one of the worst things I've ever seen in a movie theater.

Can't wait to see this.

[iFett]

I'm encouraged that I haven't seen anything here like I saw in the Transformers thread.  It would have been hard for a movie to be that bad, it was one of the worst things I've ever seen in a movie theater.

Can't wait to see this.

This is a different thread about a different movie Dressel.  Post in the Transformers one if you want to keep bashing that movie. 

You hated it.  We get it.  Move along....

[Dressel Rebel]

I'm encouraged that I haven't seen anything here like I saw in the Transformers thread.  It would have been hard for a movie to be that bad, it was one of the worst things I've ever seen in a movie theater.

Can't wait to see this.

This is a different thread about a different movie Dressel.  Post in the Transformers one if you want to keep bashing that movie. 

You hated it.  We get it.  Move along....

Actually it's relevant, and last I checked you weren't a moderator.  I'm sure I could scroll through hundreds of your post and find a line or two that didn't relate to the topic, but I have a life and you should probably look into getting one too.

The reason that it's relevant is that Paramount and whoever else wasn't big on the idea of allowing too many people to screen the movie because of the bad press they got before Transformers.  It was not incredibly easy to find reviews on this film, as it was for Transformers.

See for yourself.

And leave me alone.

[iFett]

Whatever Dressel.

Enjoy the flick.

[name]

it certainly looks good to me

[Sprry75]

Just got back and I freaking loved it.  No, it wasn't perfect, but it was way more than I expected out of a GI Joe movie.

I always wondered how Cobra Commander could keep guys like Destro and Zartan around, and this actually explains it (along with not making Cobra Commander a completely incompetent doofus).  Likewise, I wondered how a rogue, non-state sponsored terrorist organization could recruit legions of soldiers.  Again, it's a kind of far-fetched explanation, but it worked.

There's plenty to quibble about (Channing Tatum was miscast), but who cares?  It was lots of fun, non-stop action, decent humor, and Scarlett and Baroness are all kinds of hot.  Snake Eyes is a major badass.  The sequel set up was great.  Cool fights, and when *SPOILER* you see that Cobra sigil on the side of the submarine, I totally got chills.

Maybe I had low expectations, and maybe I'm easy to please when it comes to GI Joe, but I really, really enjoyed it.  I'm definitely seeing it again in the theater.

[Ben]

I really liked this movie. I wasn't too keen on it from all the stuff that leaked during its production, but I went to see it anyway, and I liked it. I think I was the only one in the theater that did, but then, I was the only person there old enough to have actually played with ARAH Joes and watched the cartoon when it was first aired, so I guess I was more in-tune with it.

SPOILERS--

It was great to finally see Snake Eyes and the rest of the Joes actually kill their enemies (aside from Resolute, of course.) And I liked the set-up for the sequel with Zartan in the White House and the Baroness imprisoned on the Flagg. I'm not sure where they're holding CC and Destro, but that's another story for (hopefully) another movie.

END SPOILERS


I liked this flick a lot more than either of the TF movies. I doubt it will do the gangbusters business ROTF did, but maybe word-of-mouth will help it a bit next weekend.