Anyone ever contacted an old classmate?

[Darth Kenobi]

Have you ever tried to contract one of your old classmates that you haven’t seen/talked to in a long time.  While trying to find people that I went to school with for my facebook page, I ended up finding an address to a girl that I knew from the 3rd to 6th grade and really the majority of it was the 3rd and half of the 6th grade as we hopscotch around different schools and she moved away in the middle of our 6th grade year.  The last day we saw each other she had written down her new home address but I some how misplaced it.  It been close to 18 years but I have always wonder what happened to her since that time, while looking at school photos and my yearbook.  I’m not sure if it would be appropriate  for me to send her a letter saying hi, seeing how her last name changed, so she’s married.  Granted I’m not looking for anything with her beside possible of a friendship like we use to have or to set my mind at ease that our friendship was ended along time ago and there is no hope of trying to reconnect.  I actually talk to one of my female coworkers who told me to just write her to say hi but I would like other's opinions on what I should do.
Thanks for any advice.

[speedermike]

If she's on Facebook, say hello.  That's what it's there for.  I've re-connected to a guy I was friends with from 1st to 3rd grade, and it was really good to catch up.



 

[jedi_master_sal]

Yeah, try social network sites like Facebook, Bebo, MySpace. Send her a nice but somewhat short message. If she's interested in communicating back, she will. How much she's interested may be derived from the length and/or context of her reply to you.

Biggest thing, give it time. In the last month and a half, I've started to reconnect with people I knew 20-30 years ago. Most "reconnections" have been good or great experiences, some have just not been replied to. Thankfully, noone has been negative in response.

[BillCable]

Request friendship.  Then say hi.  No biggie.

[Darth Kenobi]

Thanks for the replies guys.  My first post is kind of confusing since I mentioned facebook however I'm not sure if she is on Facebook or any other social networking site.  I only mention facebook because I was trying to see if she was there and found a few people with her name.  However I did some other on-line searches and found an mailing address that is connected to her.  So if I would to get in contract with her it would be through US mail.

[speedermike]

If all of the sources you used to find her are public, write her a short note.  But if you had to do some serious searching, it might come off as a bit stalkerish, even if intentions are good.

Years ago, when I lived in Brooklyn, I dropped off in invite to an event in a woman's mailbox, instead of mailing it to her.  We had been friendly, and I got her adress from the phone book.  However, I didn't send it because her apartment was on my way to the post office.  Anyway...she got really freaked out and scolded me and I blew any chance of romance.  And all I was doing was saving a stamp!

[Nathan]

Yeah, nobody actually uses US mail anymore, not for stuff like this.

Look her up on Facebook. Quick message, don't overdo it right away, see how she responds and go from there. If she doesn't respond immediately, don't freak out--it might simply mean she doesn't go on there frequently.

[iFett]

Classmates.com anyone?  I had a lot of luck with that in the years past.  I'm still not into the whole Myspace/Facebook stuff myself.

[efranks]

I'm going to take the opposite opinion from the others, I wouldn't write.  This is a girl you knew for only a year or two (because that time was split up), 18 years ago, and now you've tracked her down on the internet? 

And not on Facebook or MySpace?

That sounds creepier than Speeder Mike's story. 

I know you said you weren't interested in her romatically but the fact you mention that makes me wonder if that is the reason you're looking to talk to her.  I've known and lost touch with a lot of people over the course of my life and out of all of them, there's really only 1 that I ever think about anymore and it's because it's a girl I was interested in but never made a connection.  I still wonder "what if" sometimes.

Matter of fact, my 20 year high school reunion is this weekend, I'm not going.  I have no interest in anyone that I went to school with, and I'm from a small town and spent 13 years with them.  My close friends from high school, I still keep in touch with them, the rest, no interest.

   E...

[knashdx]

Go for it. The worst that will happen is she ignors you or tells you to get lost. Then you have your answer and it only cost you a couple minutes of typing to get it.

[Matt_Fury]

I recently reconnected with a friend from basic training.  We were good friends and went to different jobs/assignments after tech school.  I hadn't seen him in roughly 16 years and it was great to catch up!

[P-Siddy]

I'd say go for it. If you don't, you'll never know. Maybe explain that you lost her contact info long ago and would have kept in touch, but not much more.

[Tracy]

I'm going to have to agree with efranks.  I can't remember the names of anybody I was in 6th grade with, let alone 3rd grade - unless they went to high school with me.  For that matter, I don't remember most of the people I went to high school with either.  I don't recognize half of the classmates that send me friend requests on facebook - so I simply ignore them -- especially the guys.  Considering the fact that you were friends for such a short amount of time when you were quite young, a friend request on Facebook or other social networking site would seem appropriate.  Anything more could skeeve her out. 

[Morgbug]

Not going to opine either way.  I will pass on some advice from a good friend of mine though:

Leave it in your past.  You obviously have some really good memories and nothing is going to change that, as long as you don't contact her.  If you do, then the most recent memory may be fantastic, but it may be more along speeder Mike's experience.  So what's worth more to you: re-establishing the contact and possibly the friendship, or keeping the good memory? 

I do understand how you feel, I've googled a few friends and mostly had no luck.  Found some names on Classmates so they're around, sort of.  I'm not on Facebook though.  I'm just curious to see how people are doing, but most of my close friends from high school I see a couple of times a year at least (the beauty of not moving out of the city you grew up in) and many I'm curious about, those friends know as well, so I can get updates.  There are a few that remain mysteries and that's how they'll stay.  I like the memories.

[Darth Kenobi]

Thanks for the feedback guys and girl.  I'm not even sure if its the right girl that I know (on facebook or the mailing address) so the best thing for me to do is not to do anything I feel.  Eventually when my life ends on earth I will eventually see all of my friends and family in heaven so until then I guess I should just keep the memories I have of her.  
As far as how I can remember her in my third grade class, it was a small size special ed. class (15 students or so) and the distance from the school to our houses made the bus ride to/from school close to 40 mins. or so.  Heck I can still remember the first name of my first grade girl friend and the last thing I said too her as will. Wish social networking sites where around when I was back in elementary school.