Author Topic: The bad b-movie thread  (Read 526 times)

Offline Master_Phruby

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The bad b-movie thread
« on: July 19, 2012, 11:01 AM »
Post your favorite bad movies here. I'll start out with one that I watched last night on Netflix.

Just finished watching the god awful StarCrash. This movie goes to prove that you can make spaceships out of anything include golf balls and dixie cups. Its always good to have the ship fly over a desert planet at the beginning of the movie.
 
The movie stars the James Bond girl from The Spy Who Loved Me along with a guy with a huge perm. They must rescue the Emporer's son before evil Count Chocula uses his lava lamp weapon on the Emporer's home planet. The lava lamp makes people see monsters. Along the way, she must battle, bikini clad amazon girls, a giant female robot (complete with huge metal boobs), jumping cave men and incite a riot on a prison planet all while wearing a leather dominatrix bikini.

She gets help from a robot that looks like a cross between a stormtrooper and darth vader but talks like the sheriff from Smoky and the Bandit. She finds the Emporer's son, David Hasselhoff, who must use a lightsaber to fight off stop motion robots! Our heros have a big space battle. They fire torpedos thru the space windows of Count Chocula's fortress that looks like a giant claw. The fortress does not decompress. Soldiers then jump out of the torpedos and start a fight. Why couldn't they just put a bomb in one of the torpedos? The bad guys blow up all the good guys ships and kill the boarding party. The Emporer finally decides to ram a big city ship into the fortress and he gets the Bond girl to pilot the ship. On impact, she jumps out of the ship and swims back to a rescue ship. It's a good thing you can swim in space. Horray the galaxy is saved!


A cut scene from Revenge of the Sith!


I've had dreams that start this way.


It's full of Stars!


Mike Brady doesn't have anything on this guy.


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« Last Edit: July 19, 2012, 11:08 AM by Master_Phruby »
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Offline Jesse James

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2012, 02:32 PM »
Green Slime...  I used to pretend my Starcom guys were the guys in this movie, and I'd get that snot stuff from bubblegum machines, and it was the green slime.
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Offline Diddly

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2012, 11:26 PM »
O hai The Room!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCj8sPCWfUw

This is the movie Adult Swim airs on April Fools Day every year. Full of plot holes and other ridiculous stuff. Like a mom who announces she has breast cancer and then never mentioning it again. And playing football in tuxedos. And a guy shaving his face and everyone spending 5 minutes talking about how he "look like a babyface!"

It has become somewhat of a cult classic. There's even a video game about it!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/547307

Offline Jesse James

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2012, 12:28 AM »
There's a haunted walk in Pittsburgh at Halloween...  it's voted in the top ones in the US I guess.

Anyway though, the lines are huge, but when you get inside the building there's a little wait that snakes through a lobby area kind of like a Disney Park Ride line...  Anyway, while you are waiting they play B Movie trailers for these horribly bad looking 60's and 70's (and some 80's) horror films. S ome of the trailers are for memorable stuff like The Thing with Wilferd Brimley, but some are for little known Vincent Price or Peter Cushing/Christopher Lee flix they made in the latter days of their horror careers.  Great ****, and I can never remember the titles to get them.

One is like Sisperia or something like that...  The trailer looked insanely good but low budget.  The trailer alone was creepy for that one.  Saw the Trailer for The Beast Must Die, which for some reason the outfits in that film make me seriously feel sorta queasy.  Original Friday the 13th is in there.  Some bad Sci Fi flick that looked like a horror film on a space station or something.

Great stuff for the 15 minutes or so you're in line in the lobby.  This place knows how to cater to the crowd at their haunted house though.  It's called ScareHouse if you're ever in Pittsburgh, at Halloween, and want to do something like this.
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Offline McMetal

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2012, 09:15 AM »
One is like Sisperia or something like that...  The trailer looked insanely good but low budget.  The trailer alone was creepy for that one.  Saw the Trailer for The Beast Must Die, which for some reason the outfits in that film make me seriously feel sorta queasy.  Original Friday the 13th is in there.  Some bad Sci Fi flick that looked like a horror film on a space station or something.

Yep, Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA is an ALL-TIME horror classic. Do yourself a favor and seek this out on video, you won't be disappointed. It is a masterpiece.

I also recommend the entire Lucio Fulci catalog.  ;D
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Offline iFett

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2012, 10:00 AM »
Wasn't there a movie about a killer tire a few years ago ?
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Offline Master_Phruby

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2012, 10:05 PM »
Yes there was. It was called Rubber. The tire takes on a life of its own and develops mental powers to blow people up.

Anyone download the Manos: The Hands of Fate iOS game? It's a side scroller like Super Mario Brothers with 8bit graphics. It will out soon for Android and XBox.

http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2012/07/22/manos-hands-of-fate-game-coming-to-mobile-devices.aspx

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Offline Jesse James

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2012, 02:24 AM »
Is that a painting of Frank Zappa?
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Offline Master_Phruby

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2012, 07:00 PM »
That picture is in the movie. It's the Master and his Hell Hound.
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Offline Master_Phruby

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2012, 04:07 PM »
I'm most of the way thru an awful movie called "Message From Space". This movie is a cross between Star Wars and the Seven Samuri. It's made by the people that made Godzilla. They even steal lot of the dialog from Star Wars word for word. For example, there is a big black Samuri bad guy who sword fights Vic Morrow. They recite the dialog from the duel between Vader and Kenobi.

The plot is the bad guy space Samuri with his black clad armor soldiers wearing gas masks invade a planet of people that wear costumes from the ten commandments. They send off eight plastic walnuts into space to find warriors that will fight for them. Vic Morrow gets a walnut in his drink at a cantina. Three other guys get walnuts too as they run away from a fat gangster they owe money to for dumping their cargo while under attack.

There is a scene with a space witch that buys the princess from the Han Solo-wannabe so she can give her to her son that looks like Greedo.  The bad guys throne room looks like the Emporer's in ROTJ. The good guys have to blow up the space station reactor by traveling thru a series of tunnels. This movie steals alot from Star Wars but Uncle George stold alot back for TESB and ROTJ. Heck, this movie even has snowspeeders three years before TESB.




Rockseia (Narita Mikio; center) prepares to blow up the moon to show General Garuda (Vic Morrow; right) the Gavanians mean business


Looks like Star Wars to me.


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Offline McMetal

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2012, 07:53 PM »
That actually looks pretty damn cool!
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Offline Scockery

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #11 on: August 2, 2012, 08:12 AM »
Window in that scene looks like TIE Fighter windshield.

I recall that movie but never saw but a snippet of it.

Offline Master_Phruby

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Re: The bad b-movie thread
« Reply #12 on: August 2, 2012, 09:25 AM »
In that scene they actually blow up the moon with a rocket. Earth is next! How does Earth get into the act? The bad guys capture the old witch and do a mind probe on her. She tells them how beautiful the Earth is so the bad guys want to invade it. Earth counterattacks and are shot down by the bad guys. Vic Morrow comes to negotiate peace.
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