Last time you almost...

[Scott]

So...I was just out of town for a few days and caught an early evening flight back home...short flight only 45 minutes but its not a big jet by any means and they do a drink service.  

Back up...it was hot today and I had quite a few Diet bevarages all day, a couple of cups of coffee, a 20oz Diet Mountain Dew and a few Barley Pops at the airport before we left and for some reason though I'd enjoy a nice refreshing Diet Pepsi.  We then start our decent into MSP.  At that exact moment, for some reason, I suddenly felt that sensation in the nether regions that I HAD to go but thought, well I'm 29 years old, I can hold it for another 20-25 minutes when we land and get off the plane.  Well, we land on the way other side of the airport and wind up driving around for almost 20 minutes...at this point my legs are crossed and my feet are tapping and I'm really getting nervous.  

Suddenly the plane stops on the runway...dead stop.  The jostling makes me really sweaty and nervous and I get up and make a beeline for the rear of the plane.

Whew, made it...but it was close.  The punchline is...As I was draining the main vein, the stewardess came on and said "Ladies and Gentlemen...PLEASE stay in your seat until the plane comes to a complete stop and the captain yadda yadda yadda"

There's gotta be times on long road trips or in a movie that you just gotta go and can't...isn't there or was this just some freak occurance of too much liquidation and bad timing in the take off and landing cycle

[JediMAC]

Just poor bladder control, by an apparently unskilled drinker...  

I had a couple drinks in the L.A. airport on Sunday, hopped a 4.25 hour flight to Nashville on which I had a few more drinks, and I didn't even take a leak until we were in the airport in Tennessee.  Airport to airport, more than 5 hours altogether.  

Yeah, yeah - I know...  You can just call me stallion.  (all the ladies already do!  )

[Morgbug]

Yeah, yeah - I know...  You can just call me stallion.  (all the ladies already do!  )

Actually, I usually call you TBM

[Scott]

Well, I used to be good at the bar holding it for a long time due to my absolute laothing of public men's restrooms and their disgusting smell and urine everywhere...places like the troughs at the Metrodome are my worst nightmare, you couldn't pay me to take a leak in those cesspools

But once that first pee is relieved its like someone turned on a faucet and I'll have to go all night.  I even made a special trip right before I got on the plane because I knew I had a little too much liquid before getting on a short flight like that.  If it was a 3 hour trip to California I'd be OK because I could go a couple of times on the plane no problem...here the beverage service took up 2/3rds of the flight time and the seat belt light never went off

[Diddly]

A few years ago in Math class. I usually went before 3rd period, but didn't need to that day. Math was 4th period, between 3rd and Lunch.

Anyway, I was holding it in REALLY bad by the time there was only two minutes left in class. I'm talking sweating, knees shaking, bouncing up and down in my seat. Two kids were arguing, and the teacher was getting mad. Finally, the bell rings!

"Not so fast!" the teacher yelled.

"AHHHHHH!!!" I shouted in my head.

The teacher made us sit for a minute as punishment for the two kids arguing. I could feel the pee at the end of the tube, just waiting to come out. If I stopped shaking my knees, it would come out! Then, the teacher began releasing us. But she released us in sections. I was in section 2, same as with the two fighting kids.

"Section 1 may go" said the teacher.

"Ah, I'll leave next" I thought.

"Section.... THREE" the teacher said.

"AHHHHHH!!!" I shouted in my head.

At that point, my entire body felt like it had shut down. For a moment, I thought I actually HAD gone in my pants. But I hadn't. Phew!

The teacher finally released my section, and I made a dash to the bathroom, knocking over a few kids in the process. But I could care less.

So if this story has any moral, it must be "Don't hold your piss in".

[Rob]

Not a urine story, but a close call with numero dos.  So I'll give a poop warning for those who might not want to read ahead - sorry in advance if this gets a little gross

-------------------

About 6 weeks ago I was participating in a 24 hour film race with some friends of mine from work.  Now, often when I'm out of my element for extended periods of time, I don't...well...crap.  So, I'd been awake for 25 or 30 hours without emptying the old bowels so to speak (it had probably been almost 40 hours since last relieving said bowels if you include the previous night's sleep...

...and I had to take my girlfriend to the airport around 9:30 a.m.  After dropping her off, I was supposed to drop her car off at our repair shop that is just down the street then get my car from my place and drive straight back to the editing suites.

The guy there offered me a ride home, but I passed since we live about a block away.  Well...while I was walking home I realized it was more like 5 blocks away...

Now I suppose that whole not pooping when I'm not in familiar surroundings thing was suddenly not in effect anymore, because around 3 blocks from my home...well, the feeling came over me.  By one block away, I was forcably flexing my ass to keep from ruining my day.   Running only made it much worse.

By the time I got to my building, I was seriously convinced that I wouldn't make it - and I was sweating badly.

I'll end by saying that I literally made it by mere seconds - and the object I gave birth to was a healthy 18 inches minimumm in length.  I doubt it will ever be equalled, by me at least...

Sorry again

[DSJ™]

After reading this, I think Brad should come in here & urinate on this thread!

[Angry Ewok]

Dunno how long I can hold it...  

[DSJ™]

Dunno how long I can hold it...  

Just go with the flow!
 
Inserts sound of rushing waterfalls!

[JediMAC]

Actually, I usually call you TBM

Oh yeah, forgot about that one...  

You shut up!  I took one freakin' leak over the course of a 4+ hour chat!  I'm sure you guys did too, but just didn't announce it like I did.  

[Jesse James]

I'm not sure if KBZ should be banned from here for his story, or go into porn of some sort...

Or both.

[Jim]

On the same topic, did anyone catch "Along Came Polly"?  Some great bathroom humor.  Anyone ever Shart?  

[Rob]

I'm not sure if KBZ should be banned from here for his story, or go into porn of some sort...

Or both.

If it was over the line, I'll gladly remove it.    Sorry.  

[Scott]

Nope not over the line and exactly on topic...thanks for the chuckle.

Diddly's story sounds about how I felt too, one minute longer and I would have pissed my pants

[Morgbug]

We used to get together and play cards if there were no parties to go to.  The biggest part of the deal though was who could last the longest without going to the bathroom while drinking beer.  7 and a half is the record

Ever have those morning after visits to the bathroom where it seems it will never end?  Going solid for over a minute?  Not much in the world feels better than that.  Amazing control considering no cognitive processes are involved.  

TBM