Author Topic: RE #9 - AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS  (Read 3193 times)

Offline CHEWIE

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RE #9 - AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« on: March 31, 2005, 10:19 PM »
Here is part 9 in the Rykrof Enloe Series -

Aggressive Negotiations

Following the recent debacle on Spahl VII, Republic Intelligence
has discovered that former Ambassador Tame Heem is alive,
but has joined the Confederacy of Independent Systems.

Although news of the betrayal has spread throughout the
Republic, the Jedi Council has sent a secret message
 to the former Ambassador, requesting to send a committee
to negotiate a new alliance with the Ithorians.

To ensure the success of the mission, the Jedi Council sends
a trio of its finest warriors to meet at the diplomat’s
luxurious estate.  Little do the Jedi know that a former
member of their ranks lies in wait to confront them…



















































































 :P
« Last Edit: May 22, 2005, 08:19 PM by CHEWIE »

Offline Ryan

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #1 on: April 1, 2005, 03:26 PM »
It looks fantastic! CHEWIE!! This is officially EU in my book now, it is no longer just fan-fiction. I liked this chapter a lot. There were some great visuals and the ending is perfect! It really got me excited for the next one. ;D

There are a couple places I could use a bit more exlaination or a new scene. At the very begining Ithor's importance doesn't ever really get established. What do both sides want with them? The Jedi and Rykrof just kind of arrive all of a sudden and there is a Seperatist prensence that could have been explained a bit better. I think some kind of breifing scene on the gunship or on Coruscant at the beginning could help explain a lot of this.

Why was Sora Bulq trying to turn Obi-Wan and Anakin? He kind of came of nowhere too and you don't really know why he is there. Maybe a scene with him a Dooku convering about Ithor's importance would be good, if you are looking for suprise,you could keep his back to the camera or have him just out of picture, it amy add some suspence too if you know there is someone really bad there but don't know when he going to strike at our heroes.

Great customs too, I really like that Sora Bulq, he is very well done. When does he turn dark? Is it somewhere else in EU or does it start here?

Keep it up! I can't wait for Chap 10! ;D
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #2 on: April 1, 2005, 04:04 PM »
I saw what you wrote at the other site, and thanks!  To answer all of your questions as best I can -

ITHOR - Ithor is a pacifist species, but if swayed one way or the other, they could help turn the tide in the war... with the loss of Ambassador Tame Heem, it was a major blow to the Republic.  The committee was sent there to meet with him... the Separatists are there because they are hoping to be able to gain control of the planet's vast resources... I had Tame Heem mention that he thought they should join their cause or the Separatists would eventually take everything they have... in the intro, it does say:


Although news of the betrayal has spread throughout the
Republic, the Jedi Council has sent a secret message
to the former Ambassador, requesting to send a committee
to negotiate a new alliance with the Ithorians.


... so it does say that they are coming to meet with him.  I guess I could have done better explaining that though...

SORA BULQ - He was kind of mentioned when Obi Wan said he felt a presence he has not felt in a long time... but again, I guess I could had laid out more of a backstory about him being there.

In the EU, Sora Bulq turns over to the Dark Side after the Battle of Geonosis... this story is just a couple of months after that battle.  I also felt it was a good time to introduce General Grievous, as in the novel LABRYNTH OF EVIL, it is said that Grievous was present on Geonosis, and killed several Jedi in the catacombs there.

Thanks for the comments as they do help me.  I am still continuing to try and figure out just what in the hell I am doing in making these.   :-\

I do have a couple of questions though... I am going to continue to base these mainly around Rykrof Enloe.  I am going to have brief appearances from a few other characters, such as I did in this one with some of the more recognizable Jedi...

What about the bad guys?  I do want to have Grievous be in them some... but and tinkering with the thought of Assaj Ventress and Durge... if those two make an appearance, it will not be as main characters at all.  Instead, I am creating a new character that will be a member of the Separatists... how does that sound?

Also, Trigg Fuuda is still lurking in the shadows...

 :P

Offline Ryan

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #3 on: April 1, 2005, 07:40 PM »
Yeah I'd like to see Greivous,  Durge, and Asajj Ventress make some cameos. ;D Though you do have to be careful how much you use them and who they interact with. One thing that kinda bugs me about EU is a lack of original core characters. Many of the sources will introduce a couple new guys, but they somehow meet up with every other main character. It makes the galaxy seem too small. With trillions of people in it, they need more people who don't interact with Luke, Anakin, Boba Fett, or whoever else. And all the heroes and villians wouldn't necessarily know each other, they would probably know of each other if they are famous enough but, a lot of times don't deal directly with each other. I guess what I'm trying to say is Rykrof has already dealt directly with Dooku and mainly of the Republic guys, so if you plan on using Durge or Asajj, use them sparingly. Don't have them interact with Rykrof much, if at all. Maybe he sees them but doesn't have dialogue or something. I'm sure you'll work it out.

Keep it up! ;D
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #4 on: April 1, 2005, 11:23 PM »
That's exactly the way I had planned on handling it - having them maybe make cameos or something... nothing too overdone.  Kind of like in the "Chaos" photonovel, where the Battle of Geonosis takes place.  The battle is shown, but Rykrof gets there after it happened. 

And I am working on another villian that Rykrof will get to have a few interactions with.  It will be someone totally new.   :)

Thanks for the advice.  It is always appreciated.

 :P

Offline Ryan

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #5 on: April 1, 2005, 11:52 PM »
Good Original guys are always good! I can't wait to see him! ;D
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Offline Famine

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #6 on: April 2, 2005, 03:35 PM »
I'm game for a whole new villain.

Kevin <3 villains.

Kevin
The picture kept, will remind me...

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #7 on: April 5, 2005, 06:23 PM »
Wow, I didn't realize how dark the pics look here at my work computer!  Had to adjust the settings a bit.

Ok, the villian is in the works... hee hee.  Should I post a few pics of him, or just have him show up in a story?

 :P

Offline Famine

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #8 on: April 5, 2005, 06:25 PM »
Send me pics, make them wait. ;D

Kevin
The picture kept, will remind me...

Offline Darth Delicious

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #9 on: April 5, 2005, 06:37 PM »
Gaah! I've gotta see the new villain! Don't make us wait!   :D

Chewie: I'd like to see Ventress and Durge. Durge I'd like to see in battle, but Ventress...maybe just a cameo over a communication or something. Kind of like in the novel where Anakin was teamed with Neeja Halcyon. (The name escapes me right now.)

I would like to see you get your hands on a few of Ricky UK's Republic Commandos, and have Rykrof give them an objective that supports a mission he and his Clone platoon are involved in. I don't want them to be an established unit, though...but one you make up and design the armor markings for.

And let's see Quinlan Vos, even if it's just a cameo at the Jedi Temple.

-DD
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Offline Famine

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #10 on: April 5, 2005, 06:40 PM »
Yeah. I'm very game to see what you could do with a Quin custom. If you need any refrence pictures, shoot me an email and I'll hook you up.

Kevin
The picture kept, will remind me...

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #11 on: April 5, 2005, 07:53 PM »
Quinlin Vos is actually in the works.  Funny that you mention that.

As for the Republic Commando, I did get one from Ricky.  But I tell ya, it wasn't cheap and to get more would cost me too much.

The one I have is nice, but you can't position him any.  It's pretty much a non-articulated figure unfortunately.  Still, it's a nice display piece.  Maybe it will show up in a story, but just a cameo.

As for Assaj Ventress, yeah I was thinking of just having her in a holo recording or something... Durge will see a bit of action. 

But the new villian will be the one with the most action.  I haven't completely decided how to go about it yet or his role in the series, but I will try to make it cool.  I have an idea... I just need to make sure I go about it the right way.

I am thinking I need a week off before starting another photonovel.  They take time and are a bit stressful.  But "Depths of Cholganna" just needs a bit of tweaking... look for it in your email Famine by the end of the week.  Sunday at the absolute latest.

Thanks for the comments guys... heh heh I do think I might make you wait to see the villian in a photonovel instead of any sneak peek pics... but either way, I will get a few more pics taken of some other stuff I've been working on.   :)

 :P

Offline Famine

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #12 on: April 5, 2005, 07:56 PM »
You'd better send me somthing to post. The masses are in revolt!


Kevin
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #13 on: April 5, 2005, 09:22 PM »
Well we don't want that, so I just sent both you and Dimetrodon 3 new custom pics.   :)

 :P

Offline Newman

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Re: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS
« Reply #14 on: April 7, 2005, 10:13 PM »
That was very awesome. Good job CHEWIE! I wish I had my clones and my gunship, I'm so jealous.  ;)