Author Topic: RE #14 - SURVIVAL  (Read 4748 times)

Offline CHEWIE

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RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« on: September 20, 2005, 03:32 AM »






Nearly one month after seeing her husband depart for Dathomir, Alyssa Enloe tends to their child before retiring early after a stressful day learning of yet another loss for the Republic in the Outer Rim. 





As she collapses onto the bed she once shared with her husband, Alyssa falls into a deep slumber, wondering where her husband could be and why she has not heard from him since his departure.





Little does she know that her husband has become stranded on Dathomir after being ambushed by several Trade Federation battleships.  While his small fleet had been able to launch several escape pods, most were shot down in space before reaching the surface of the planet.





However, many of Commander Rykrof Enloe’s clone troopers did not survive the crash…and they are the lucky ones…





…as several of those that did survive find themselves being hunted by the giant rancor beasts native to the planet…





…while all Republic clone troopers are trained to expect the unexpected…





…very few have the ability to avoid the clutches of a bull rancor…





…and are devoured by the terrible beasts.





If it is not the diseases, starvation or the native creatures that the survivors fear, it is the relentless patrols by the Separatists, obsessed with killing any potential survivors.





After several weeks, Commander Asajj Ventress has tracked down what is thought to possibly be the final survivor from the Republic strike force sent to destroy any remaining Badoo Corba in the system.





Exhausted and beaten, the clone struggles to keep from falling to the ground.  Only pride and training keeps the genetic copy of the famous bounty hunter Jango Fett from collapsing into the cesspool of grime infested swamp water.  Only this pride and training give him the strength to stare his hunter face to face before his imminent death.





“Fool,” the dark woman says.  “Your war efforts are useless against the might of Count Dooku.  The terrorist base you seek was abandoned before you even arrived.  Once again your pathetic military strategies have failed.”





With a terrible pinch through her mastery of the Dark Side of the Force, the woman ends the clone’s oxygen supply, causing an agonizing death for the soldier of the Republic.





“Leave this weak scum to rot,” she says half mindedly to the battle droids flanking her.  “I must update General Grievous on our progress.”





After explaining her success and the near impossibility of any further survivors, Asajj is surprised to learn that Count Dooku has ordered for her to stay on the planet until she has firm proof of Rykrof Enloe’s death.  Although she has no respect for Grievous, Asajj Ventress will do anything to further her influence with the mighty Count Dooku, and agrees to stay on Dathomir until the completion of her mission.





Soon after, the Separatist fleet gathers in the Daabul System.





Count Dooku discusses the latest situation with former Jedi Master, Sora Bulq.  “I disagree with keeping Commander Ventress on Dathomir,” the Dark Jedi says. 





“She has a mission and I wish to see if she fulfills it.  This is not only a test to find Republic survivors, but will be a challenge for her with the native creatures on the planet, as well as with the witch.  The commander’s search radius is currently limited to a 100 kilometer trajectory of where the escape pods landed.  The pods just so happened to crash on a rather large island, ruled by this dark witch.  This should prove to be an interesting challenge for Commander Ventress.” 





“I see,” agrees Sora Bulq.  “And so it is,” Dooku replies.  “And while we continue to strike randomly against the Republic, they are unable to gather the necessary resources to interfere with our excavation of Rhen Var.”





Meanwhile, back on Dathomir, the Separatist forces continue their search.





“There’s too many of them,” TK-42 says.  “Even if I got off a clear shot on her, we’d be overrun by droids.”

“Then we move on,” Commander Rykrof Enloe replies.  "Now is not the time to confront them."





“But Sir, where are we to go,” TK-42 asks.  “We’ve been out here for weeks, constantly running and hiding from the droids and those giant beasts.  I for one would rather take a few of them out with me than be snuck up on and shot in the back...or…”





“Look, we’re getting off this damn planet.  I don’t know how we’re gonna get out of this mess, but I’m not dying here,” Rykrof says.  “Either we wait to get rescued, or we find a way off this slimy mud hole.”





“We really haven’t covered any ground either.  It’s time we try heading south.”





Several hours later, to their surprise the group discovers what looks to be the abandoned Badoo Corba base they had originally set out to destroy.  Cautiously, they approach the ghostly structure.





“It’s doubtful there will be anyone here still Sir, but I still suggest we try and find another entrance to be on the safe side,” TK-42 recommends.  “Nothing’s been easy so far,” Rykrof argues.  “I say we try and see if our luck changes.  We’ll go ahead and try the front door.”





To the relief of the group, Rykrof appears to have been right.  Not only does the base appear to be abandoned, but the front door was unlocked.





“Ok, now I suggest a little more caution,” Rykrof says.  “I really didn’t expect that door to be open.”





As they begin to search the complex, Rykrof notices an emblem of the former Badoo Corba leader, Trigg Fuuda… and is reminded of the many terrible memories he has experienced since his first mission to Abridon, so many years ago.





Suddenly the group hears a sound from the adjacent room, and proceeds with caution…





“Set weapons for stun,” Rykrof orders as they prepare to enter the next room.






To their surprise, they find a Mon Calamari standing with his arms up, begging for his life.





“Please don’t shoot me,” he begs.  “I am only looking for parts to repair my ship to get off this planet.  I mean you no harm!”





“What if he’s a terrorist …leftover from their quick departure?  Will we be having fish for dinner,” TK-42 asks.  “No, I don’t think so,” Rykrof says.  “I don’t think he’s lying to us.”





Soon after, Rykrof’s troops begin searching the complex for supplies.

And Rykrof takes a much needed break.  Sensing a good opportunity to question their new acquaintance, Rykrof begins to get to know the Mon Calamari.  First he explains his situation, and then listens carefully to what the Mon Calamari has to say.





“Freelo is my name.  I am a freelance archaeologist.  I was contacted by the Separatists to assist in an excavation on Rhen Var, but was unsure whether or not to take the offer, which was substantial.  I was near this system when my ship’s thermal coupling faulted, causing my crash on this planet.”

“I’ve seen the Separatist droids here on the planet though, and have avoided them fearing they may shoot me first and ask questions later.”





“That’s what this war has become,” Rykrof laments.





“Even now, the war goes on…”





“…it’s reached levels I never though possible…”





“…and all we have seen is destruction.”





“True,” Freelo says.  “A terrible thing this war has become, for both sides.  Perhaps we can work together to get off of this planet and return to our homes before they become destroyed too.”





“But to get back to my ship it could be difficult…”





“…for I have seen an evil being near my crash site that is far more terrible than droids or rancors…”



 :P

Offline Ner_vod

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2005, 07:57 AM »
1 word: Magnificent. I can't wait for the next one.

Offline Famine

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2005, 03:14 PM »
CHEWIE, I dig. I see you took my advice about the text below the pictures. It looks much better this way. Awsome Sora Bulq. Is that a new version of him? I love the interaction between Ry and his clones.

If I can ask, what is that building the clones, Rycrof, and the Mon Cal are all in? I'd like to get my hands on one if I can, I think.

The final shot is killer!

Kevin
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Offline Master_Phruby

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2005, 03:38 PM »
Wow! I really enjoyed that! That final scene is a great kicker. Is that evil creature Jar Jar?
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Offline Ryan

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2005, 03:57 PM »
 :o

This surpassed my expectations. It was spectacular. I really liked Sora Bulq's appearance.

I've got a speech I need to write for tomarrow, and a hockey game tonight, so I'll try and get a more in depth analisys posted in the next few days when I have time. :)
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Offline Reid

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2005, 04:57 PM »
Excellent chapter CHEWIE.

Between a double lightsaber-weilding sith lord, a battalion of battle droids, rancors, and a mysterious evil being, Rykof has a lot of work ahead of him.

Offline Diddly

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2005, 06:04 PM »
Woohoo! Very cool. I enjoyed this chapter.

The detail on the clones is amazing! I love how you made everything about them dirty, even the weapons! Freelo's backstory is interesting, and I'd like to see where you go with him.

The one thing I disliked, though, was Dooku. I know you like to give the figures detailed expressions, but the photoshopping of Christopher Lee's real face seemed like overkill to me. Also, IMO, it seemed out of place when everyone else has their "real" figure faces.

Phruby, I also thought that creature was a Gungan! :P I can't wait to see what it really is. Any idea when #15 will be up, CHEWIE?

Offline Smartypants1635

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2005, 06:44 PM »
to me the creature head looks like a rats tyrell figure.
And also Chewie i think the rotting clone is a bit much, it take days for him to start rotting, and the nose to be gone at least a week. Unless the water is acidic,l but still excellant plot, and story cant wait for the next one. 8)


sp1635

Offline Ryan

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2005, 07:31 PM »
Woohoo! Very cool. I enjoyed this chapter.

Phruby, I also thought that creature was a Gungan! :P I can't wait to see what it really is. Any idea when #15 will be up, CHEWIE?

Look back through Justin's custom thread, you'll find her. ;) I've been waiting for her appearance sine I first saw the custom.

to me the creature head looks like a rats tyrell figure.
And also Chewie i think the rotting clone is a bit much, it take days for him to start rotting, and the nose to be gone at least a week. Unless the water is acidic,l but still excellant plot, and story cant wait for the next one. 8)


sp1635

I'm going to have to completely disagree with that. I think it was very well done. It shows the passage of time. Rykrof has been there for weeks, one of the clones even says that. HE would definitely rot if he was underwater, there are so many little bugs, aquatic creatures, and bacteria that would devour him over a few weeks. There was nothing worng with that shot.
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2005, 07:50 PM »
Thanks everyone for the comments, I'm looking forward to some real in depth analysis SLC, DD, Lance Quazar and hopefully a few more of you.   ;)

For the other questions, I'll try and answer them all.

Famine - The building is from some military line (I bought it from www.kbtoys.com I think) and turned out pretty well.  It really isn't that big of a playset, the scenes with Freelo weren't using the playset, they were using some CD holders for a background.  I'll try and find a good pic of the playset online, or at least take a better pic of the one that I own.  It was also used as a composite shot for the outside shot of them walking in the woods approaching the base.

Phruby - No, it's not Jar Jar or any other Gungan, SLC is right about me posting a pic of it a while back... there will be much more about this character in the next chapter.

HunterofthePegs - Yeah, I seem to have put Rykrof in a bad situation, but hopefully Freelo can help him out some.

Diddly - You're right, the Dooku pics are a bit awkard.  I still prefer them this way though, as there are a few characters that I might continue to do this with some, mainly being Palpatine and Dooku.  Thanks for noticing the detail on the clones too.

Smarty - I'll be happy to reveal this character in more depth coming soon... as for the rotting of the clone, he has been in the water for quite a while, as in the first description showing Alyssa Enloe, it states that Rykrof has been gone for almost a month.  The clones crashed on Dathomir several weeks prior to this story's start like SLC said.  So hopefully that's a long enough timeline for those worms to have eaten away some of his face.

SLC - Thanks for all of the kind comments, having Sora Bulq in it was something I kind of wish that I had explored some more.  I need to find a way to get him into the series a bit more without detracting from the overall theme I'm trying to create.

My favorite shot in this whole story was this one -



It was probably the most challenging shot that I've made for one of these photonovels, and hopefully it will give me the courage to try and make a few more "far away" shots like this one.

 :P





Offline Smartypants1635

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2005, 10:00 PM »
oh sorry justin didnt read that part :-\

Offline Jediknight760071

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2005, 10:41 PM »
Wow....heavy on the effects. That's not a bad thing, but don't kill yourself CHEWIE! :)

So why the change in dialogue style? Didn't want to cut in on the photos?

Offline Famine

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2005, 12:26 AM »
So why the change in dialogue style? Didn't want to cut in on the photos?

I think Justin did it because the words were becoming unevenly spaced when he put them over the images. :)

CHEWIE, that far away shot reminded me of a scene in The Lost World Jurassic Park novel, where the charachters come across an abandoned cloning complex. At least thats how it would look in my immagination.

Kevin
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Offline MetalJedi

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2005, 04:05 AM »
Awesome Chewie. Love the effects in this one. Nice to see Rancors in action. Can't wait for the next one.
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: RE #14 - SURVIVAL
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2005, 10:34 AM »
Yes, the reason I moved the words was because they were sometimes becoming unevenly spaced on the pics.  As hard as I tried, they kept coming out difficult to read!  So I'm sorry for the change, but I do think it is for the best.

It was fun to get a rancor in this one, and I plan on a future rancor encounter but I don't want to overdo it by any means.

The evil being will be a lot of fun, I think she will be a sick, evil character that people will enjoy... look for part 15 to take about a month to complete, as my next several weekends are going to be extremely busy and I won't have the extra time to devote to these for a while.  They take a very long time to do!

But by moving the words off the pics, it does save me a couple of hours actually, so that is a big help.

 :P