Author Topic: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (Complete)  (Read 88513 times)

Offline BrentS

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE: Nov 10, 2006)
« Reply #300 on: November 13, 2006, 02:16 PM »
Amazing work.  Simply amazing.  I haven't gone back to read all the old stories (Shame on me!).  However, these action sequences are just great.  My favorite shots were the Rancor running wild on the droids and the sequence between Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the Utapau Warrior.  Those obi-wan and anakin figures are just so great.  Also the way you positioned Tinn as he was leaning on Kit Fisto was just great.  It couldn't have looked more realistic.



ATL - can you remove some of the exclamation marks.  It messes up all the scrolling.  Thanks.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2006, 02:19 PM by BrentS »

Offline Swede

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE: Nov 10, 2006)
« Reply #301 on: November 15, 2006, 09:56 AM »
Already chimed in on the other site, but when I came across this here ... well, I just had to read it again.  And just like the movies, everytime I read this, I find something new I hadn't noticed before!  Absolutely wonderful, SA !!!
Your outdoor shots are great, the grass really looks like a field; and you nailed Sidious's dialogue perfectly ... I could just feel that gravely voice flow along with your words ... NICE!

-Swede
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Offline CloneCommander1

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE: Nov 10, 2006)
« Reply #302 on: November 15, 2006, 08:28 PM »
Great work!  While all the action sequences were great, my favorite was the one with the Elite Corps clones, the posing was fantastic.  As always, great photos, and great writing.  Awsome work!
It's not just football, it's Notre Dame football!

Offline Brisk Arper

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE: Nov 10, 2006)
« Reply #303 on: November 20, 2006, 12:36 PM »
wow i just went back to the begining and read the whole thing....this is a really great story...they get better every post...keep it up!
in the words of a famous admiral......

ITS A TWAP!!!

Offline Quazar

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE: Nov 10, 2006)
« Reply #304 on: November 22, 2006, 02:17 AM »
LONGHORN,

I have no excuse for not commenting before now.  I read this last week, but just haven't had the time to read it again and give you some real comments.

I know in the past i've always said I'll try to post some in-depth stuff, but seldom actually do and so I'm sorry.

As always, AWESOME work...I love it and I really WILL try to post some detailed comments soon...Thanks for your boundless creativity and hard work!
Sith Lords Are Our Speciality

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE: Nov 10, 2006)
« Reply #305 on: November 22, 2006, 04:01 PM »
Thanx for all the feedback guys.  It was great to see everyone leave some feedback after going so long in between updates.  I hope to have the next update sooner than later, especially since I am re-energerized to finish this story.  I just saw the other day the first chapters were posted on Halloween of 2005!   A year later, and still going...

212th Battalion:  One word: THANX!  Seriously tho, always good to see the regulars.

Clone Commander:  Glad you liked the final scenes with Shade.  I had a lot of different ideas, but this one really seemed to fit.  The Clones will do whatever is necessary to accomplish the mission, including sacrifices themselves, and I wanted to show that in different aspects.

Artoo:  If you liked the Grievous and Windu scenes, you'll like the next update.  I'll try to post the next update soon...

ATL:  Sometimes simple feedback is all you need to keep working on the story.  Thanx for that!  Try creating your own short story.

BrentS:  Good to hear from ya.  I really liked these action sequences as well, but I wish YESTERDAY had the time to finish the effects.  If he ever does, I'll quickly swap them in.  A lot of people have mentioned they like the Rancor running wild!  Glad you noticed the positioning of Saesee Tiin.  I really wanted to show him as being injured.

Swede:  Thanx for leaving some more feedback.  The photography is a lot more fun when working in an open area like the 'field'.  I tried to take some pics from various angles.  And thanx for mentioning the Sidious dialogue, which was the hardest dialogue I have written thus far.  Had to word it just right...

CloneCommander1:  Thanx for the feedback.  The way the figs and pic turned out in Chapter 42, it has become one of my favorites chapters.  The pics would look a lot better with effects added in.  Working with several SA figs always makes these stories easier to create.  Thanx for noticing.

master brisk arpor:  Just curious, how long did it take you to read the whole story to this point?  Glad to know the old pics are still appearing.  And I assume the story flowed well thru all the chapters.  Great feedback, I really appreciate it! 

Quazar:  The "Dean" of Photonovels!  Always good to hear from you, even if your comments are short.  Look forward to your detailed comments, but just glad to know you are keeping up with the story. 

I just 'shot' another chapter last night outside.  I wish I could go faster, but now the weather is working against me.  Last night, the temp got down in the 40s.  Not bitterly cold, but cold enough when you're outside playing with your SW action figures!  But the pics came out great!

We're almost to the end, guys!   8)
« Last Edit: November 22, 2006, 04:03 PM by S_A_Longhorn »
"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline Deanna Rash

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (thru Chapter 42)
« Reply #306 on: November 23, 2006, 11:29 PM »
 :o :o :o :oAmazing!!!simply Amazing ;D ;D ;D Can't wait too see more!!! Do you have any more stories! This is just too cool!!
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Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Preview Chaps 43-45
« Reply #307 on: November 29, 2006, 12:26 PM »
Thanx for the feedback.

Deanna Rash:  Welcome to the JD boards!  Always good to see a new member leaving feedback.  Glad you liked the story.  Hope you had a chance to read it from the beginning.  I do have two other stories posted, but only one is posted here on JD, which is STORMTROOPER TALES: SPI.  You can view it by clicking here.  The other full-length PN I have is over on RS's photonovel forum, called VADER'S QUEST.  I look forward to reading more of your comments.

TO EVERYBODY:  Thanx for all the feedback and continued encouragement.  Good news!  I have completed the photography for the next update.  I am currently working on some small effects and the dialogue for the next update, Chapters 43 – 45.  The next update will be action-packed.

EDIT - Update will be coming very soon...
« Last Edit: December 8, 2006, 10:30 AM by S_A_Longhorn »
"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline 212th Battalion

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (11-29-06 Preview)
« Reply #308 on: December 1, 2006, 04:22 PM »
AS always longhorn cant wait for the new chapters to be up and to see you out do yourself once again  ;) ;D
Momar and Fester

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Chapters 43, 44, & 45
« Reply #309 on: December 15, 2006, 05:21 PM »
MAJOR UPDATE:  Chapters 43, 44, and 45 in Act III

OK, guys here is the latest update!  I've been working on the dialogue and the limited effects for the past week, thus the delay from the promised date.  Many thanx to LJ for some great ideas to spruce up the dialogue and narrative.  And also many thanx to SWEDE who gave me some simple ideas for the effects I addded-in myself!  So be kind....

These three chapters set up the final three chapters of Act III!  Enjoy!!!    8)
"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Chapter 43
« Reply #310 on: December 15, 2006, 05:23 PM »
DARK ILLUSIONS

ACT III

Chapter 43




As the Battle of Oner continues to rage, the 212th Battalion begins to focus their attack on the Droid Barracks, hoping a victory awaits them.



Anakin Skywalker:   How many battle droids have we destroyed so far, Master?
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   I’ve lost count.  It doesn’t make sense - why would the Separatists amass such a large army on an empty planet?




Clone Trooper Kyde:   General Kenobi!




Clone Trooper Kyde:   Commander Cody has successfully engaged the target.  He has requested permission to begin the full assault on the Barracks.
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Very good, Kyde.  Have Cody issue the order and we will meet you there.




Anakin Skywalker:   The tide of the battle has now shifted to our side.
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   I hope your right, Anakin.  But don’t get too confident.  One can never underestimate Count Dooku.  I’m sure he has something in store for us. 






Meanwhile, back on the battlefield…



Battle Droid 781C:   Republic forces have surrounded the Barracks.




Clone Trooper Agal:   We got new orders from Commander Cody!  All squads…CHARGE!




Clone Troopers:   Storm the Barracks!




Battle Droid 781C:   Open fire!





Droid Commander OOM-12:   Primary units……defend the Barracks.




Droid Commander OOM-12:   Secondary units……encircle the Clone Army……commence the second-tier assault.




Count Dooku:   Status report, Commander.




Droid Commander OOM-12:   The Clone Army is concentrated around the Barracks, sir.  Our secondary units are now in place to begin a second assault from behind the Clone Army.  Victory is inevitable.   




Count Dooku:   Excellent.  Keep the Clone Army focused on the Barracks.  Leave the rest to me.






Clone Trooper Yerl:   We got them pinned down!  Move in!




The 212th Battalion presses forward the attack in a final attempt to overrun the barracks. 




Meanwhile, two droidekas disengage behind the Clones…




…and fire their weapons, catching the unsuspecting Clones off guard.
Clone Trooper Qurl:   AAHHHH!!




Clone Trooper Qurl over internal comlink:   Droid…reinforcements……came from……behind------
Clone Trooper Agal:   Repeat……from behind?……repeat last transmission…




Another squad of battle droids appears behind Agal’s squad.
Battle Droid 943X:   Open fire!




Clone Trooper Agal:   Repeat last transmiss-----battle droids!  Cover fire to the rear!








Clone Trooper Nicklin:   Need a defensive position---UUGGHHH!




Super Battle Droid X18A:  Take no prisioners.







Elsewhere…


Clone Trooper Kyde over comlink:   I have a visual on an unknown subject……approaching a generator of some sort……




Clone Trooper Kyde over comlink:   ……matches the description of the mystery warrior encountered by General Kenobi & Skywalker.
Anakin Skywalker:   Do not engage the target, trooper!  Repeat, do not engage!  He is considered armed and dangerous!




Count Dooku:   What is that sound……a speeder bike?




Sagev:   Why was the call made to return to the Barracks?  Our primary concern should be the power-----




Count Dooku:   YOU FOOL!




Suddenly, an invisible force knocks Sagev to the ground while toppling the speeder bike.
Sagev:   Ugh…
Clone Trooper Kyde:   Heeeeyy---




Count Dooku:   What do we have here……




Count Dooku:   …a member of the famed 212th Battalion?   
Clone Trooper Kyde:   Count…Dooku?!




Clone Trooper Kyde:   …but…this isn’t the barracks…
Count Dooku:   Very observant.  Unfortunately, you will not be sharing that information with your Battalion.




Count Dooku raises his saber and ends the life of the Clone trooper with a single stroke.

Count Dooku:   You were ordered to return to the Barracks……not here.




Sagev:   I do not take orders from a droid.  The power generator must be protected.  The droids cannot ---




Count Dooku:   ---function without it.  Yes, I know.  But your incompetence will now lead the Republic’s forces here, instead of the Barracks.  We must now prepare for their arrival.




Count Dooku:   I do not look kindly upon mistakes, Sagev.  You would be wise to remember that.







Meanwhile, near the Barracks…



Clone Trooper Ezar:   Can you make out any of those reports from the other squads?
Clone Trooper Werth:   Negative.  Too much interference! 




Clone Trooper Ezar:   There were several reports of the droids attacking from behind the other squads.
Clone Trooper Werth:   Impossible!  We have them surrounded at the Barracks!




Suddenly and without warning, the secondary ring of battle droids appears and quickly begin firing into the squad.




Clone Trooper Ezar:   ---aaahhhhh!




Clone Trooper Gertz:   We are taking heavy fire from a secondary ring of droids!  They’re attacking from behind our line!   




Clone Trooper Gertz over comlink:   ……repeat……behind our line!……we’re surrounded!
Commander Cody:   (thinking)   Have to hurry…

"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Chapter 44
« Reply #311 on: December 15, 2006, 05:25 PM »
DARK ILLUSIONS

ACT III

Chapter 44



While the battle intensifies between the Droid Army and the 212th Battalion, another epic battle was about to begin…



Mace Windu:   Your reign of terror ends here, Grievous.




General Grievous:   You’re a brave one, Windu.  Foolish…but brave.




General Grievous:   Only a Jedi would be so arrogant to fight alone.




Mace Windu:   Those sabers belong to the Jedi Order……belong to my friends……and I’m taking them with me.




General Grievous:   Perhaps you’ll recognize this one……once owned by Jedi Council member Adi Gallia.




General Grievous:   I enjoyed watching her die……she was a screamer.




Mace Windu:   NOOO!!!




SLASH!




General Grievous:   Ha ha ha!




SLASH!




General Grievous:   Ha ha ha!!
SLASH!




SLASH!  SLASH!




SLASH!
General Grievous:    Will you beg for your life the way Gallia did?




Mace Windu:   NOOO!!!
FORCE PUSH!




CRASH!




General Grievous:   Ha ha ha!




General Grievous:   Your Jedi powers can’t save you, Windu.




Mace Windu:   Who said I needed to be saved…




General Grievous:   ATTACK!




Clank!  Clank!  Clank!
Mace Windu:   Magna Guards…




FORCE CRUNCH!




Clank! Clank! Clank!




SLASH!




General Grievous:   ARGH!!
Mace Windu:   Ugh…




Mace Windu:   Ugh!  Ugh!




General Grievous:   All you Jedi are the same…….




General Grievous:   …weak and arrogant!
Mace Windu:   (choking)  [/i]…GASP!…[/i]




Mace Windu:   (choking)……
General Grievous:   Count Dooku gave you too much credit…




Mace Windu:   (choking)……
General Grievous:   …I’ve killed Padawans that fought harder than you!




Mace Windu:   (choking)…………
General Grievous:   You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this moment, Jedi!






Suddenly, lifted by an invisible power, a damaged battle droid is hurled at Grievous and…

CRASH!
Mace Windu:   (choking)……GASP!
General Grievous:   AARGGH!!




Mace Windu:   ……(cough cough)……




SLASH!




Mace Windu:   Now……where were we?




General Grievous:   JEDI SCUM!!!




SLASH!  SLASH!




SLASH!  SLASH!




SLASH!  SLASH!




SLASH!  SLASH!




SLASH!




SLASH!
General Grievous:   AARRGGHHH!!!




General Grievous:   Ha ha ha ha!
Mace Windu:   UGH!




Mace Windu:   …ugghhhh…




General Grievous:   You lose, Windu! 




General Grievous:   Your efforts are futile!
Mace Windu:   …get off……of me…




General Grievous:   There is no escape for you now, Jedi!  Your saber is mine!!!
Mace Windu:   (choking)……never! (bleh!)





Commander Oddball:   We’re approaching the village now.  Gree, are you sure about this?  There was no order to return---




Commander Gree:   Doesn’t matter.  I won’t leave the General behind with the village about to be wiped out!  Get a lock on him ASAP!




The sound of an approaching Republic Gunship can be heard in the distance.

General Grievous:   What?! 
Mace Windu:   (choking) ………




Commander Oddball:   I have a lock on his beacon.  I’m getting a visual……Grievous has him!
Commander Gree:    Take him out! 
Clone Pilot Ouri:   Yes, sir!





General Grievous:   Ha ha ha ha ha…
Commander Gree:   Keep him on the run until we can get Windu!




Mace Windu:   …ugh……




Commander Oddball:   You’re clear, Gree!
Commander Gree:   Already on my way…




Mace Windu:   ………must……stop……Grievous……(cough cough)
Commander Gree:   No time, sir!  General Fisto has ordered this whole village be burned to the ground!  We have to go…NOW!




Commander Gree:   Get us out of here, Oddball!
Mace Windu:   …must……stop……Grie….vous……(cough)




Commander Oddball:   We’re gone…and just in time.  Here comes the aerial assault!




KA-BOOM!







General Grievous:   We will meet again, Windu……very soon……and next time your saber will be MINE!

 
"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Chapter 45
« Reply #312 on: December 15, 2006, 05:27 PM »
DARK ILLUSIONS

ACT III

Chapter 45




As Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker race to the Barracks, their path is continually disrupted by Battle Droids.



Anakin Skywalker:   Have you heard back from that trooper on the bike, Master?
Slash!




Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Not since his last report about sighting the mysterious warrior.
Slash!




Anakin Skywalker:   He mentioned something about a generator.  Why would an abandoned planet need a generator?
Slash!




Obi-Wan Kenobi:   It wouldn’t……but a Droid Army would.  There has to be a local generator that powers all these battle droids.
Slash!




Anakin Skywalker:   And that power generator wouldn’t be defended by just any battle droid.  I’d bet the Droid Commander is there along with… 
Slash!




Obi-Wan Kenobi:  DOOKU!
Slash!








As a secondary line of battle droids surrounds the Clones, Commander Cody makes one final stop before heading towards the Barracks.



Commander Cody:  Last one…




Battle Droid 281Z:  Clone trooper!  HALT!
The Rancor:   ROOOAARRR!




The Rancor tramples the battle droids and turrets while continuing the pursuit of Commander Cody.
CRASH!




Obi-Wan Kenobi over private comlink:   Commander Cody – redirect your target to Kyde’s last known coordinates.  That is the more critical attack point!
Commander Cody on internal comlink:   As you wish, General.   Come in, Agal --- get everyone into defensive positions!  Now!




Commander Cody on comlink:  …repeat……take cover……NOW!




Clone Trooper Agal:  Everyone down!  Commander’s orders!




Clone Trooper Agal:   Stay alert, men……we may need to get out of here real fast.




Commander Cody:   This is my stop.




The abandoned BARC crashes into several battle droids.




Angered by the long pursuit of Commander Cody, the Rancor then redirects its anger towards the countless battle droids.




CRASH!




Battle Droid Z145:   Open fire!




The Rancor:   RRRROOOOOAAAAARRRRR!
CRUNCH!




Battle Droid Z145:   Unknown creat---PPPPFFZZZZTTTTT…




Clone Troopers:   YEEAAHHH!  Smash ‘em all!




Battle Droid S789:   RUN!




The Rancor:   RRROOOOAAARRRR!




CRUNCH!




Angered by the droids constant laser fire, the Rancor increases the ferocity of its attack.




Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Looks like your plan is working, Anakin.
Anakin Skywalker:   I knew it would, Master. 
Commander Cody:   Pardon me for asking, General, but……what target is more important than the Barracks?




Obi-Wan Kenobi:   The Droid Power Generator.  We’re outnumbered, but if we can neutralize all the battle droids at once, then that becomes the critical attack point.
Battle Droid R431A:   RUN!




The Rancor’s attacks take it away from the Barracks……and towards the Power Generator.

Battle Droid V537:   Unknown creature approaching.




Droid Commander OOM-12:   Unknown creature?  Unknown creature……that does not compute.
Count Dooku:   It’s the Jedi.




Count Dooku:   Defend the generator at all costs, Commander.  I’ll handle the Jedi.
Droid Commander OOM-12   Yes, sir.




The Rancor:   RRROOOAAARR!!!
Clone Trooper Fraz:   YEA!!




Commander Cody over internal comlink:   Pry, Fraz --- get out of there now!  The Rancor is going to see you ---
Anakin Skywalker:   Too late!




The Rancor:   RRROOOOARRRRRR!!!
Clone Trooper Pry:   Let’s go!  Double-time!!!




Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Look!  Over there!  Count Dooku!  He’s escaping!   




Obi-Wan Kenobi:   I’m going to need to borrow your bike, Cody.  Anakin, follow me to---




Anakin Skywalker:   I’ll handle the Rancor.  Get to the generator as fast as you can!
Commander Cody:   Yes, sir!




Clone Trooper Pry:   Aaahhh!
Clone Trooper Fraz:   It’s got my leg!!!




Anakin Skywalker:   I’ll get them back.  Just be ready at the generator.




Commander Cody:   Consider it done.




The Rancor:   RRRROOOOOAARRRRR!
Anakin Skywalker:   This is where the fun begins.




Clone Trooper Pry:   Aaahhhh!!!




Anakin Skywalker:   You’re lucky we have bigger plans for you…otherwise……




Anakin Skywalker:   ……I’d take more than your toenail!
SLASH!




The Rancor:   RRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRR!!!!!




Anakin Skywalker:   Run for it! 




Anakin Skywalker:   Probably not one of my best ideas…
The Rancor:   RRRROOOAAAARRRR!




Droid Commander OOM-12:   Unknown creature approaching!  Unknown creature approaching!!!    Open fire!!!  Open fire!!!




The Rancor:   RRRROOOOAAAARRRRRR!!!
SLASH!




Droid Commander OOM-12:   Jedi?! 
Anakin Skywalker:   Droid Commander, I presume?




Droid Commander OOM-12:   ERROR!   ERROR!  Too many variables to compute---
SLASH!




Commander Cody:   Good work, General.  I’ll take it from here…




The Rancor:   RRRROOOOAAAARRRR!!!




Commander Cody:   You want me?  Come and get me!




The Rancor:   RRROOOOAARRR!
Commmander Cody:   That’s it……just a little more……





After a continuous onslaught, the power generator begins to topple under the weight of the Rancor.




Commander Cody:   Time to go!





As the power generator collapses, an explosion erupts from the base of the tower.




Then suddenly……………silence.








Clone Trooper Fraz:   Is it……dead?
Clone Trooper Pry:   I’ll make sure.




Anakin Skywalker:   STOP!  There has been enough death today.




Commander Cody:   The General is right.  Verify the droids have been deactivated.
Clone Trooper Pry:   Yes, sir!




Anakin Skywalker:   And I want to see the corpse of that mystery warrior.
Commander Cody:   Yes, General.




Anakin Skywalker:   Has anyone seen Obi-Wan?




To be continued………

"WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  TODD WILL COOPERATE."
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline Deanna Rash

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE - Fri, Dec 15, 06)
« Reply #313 on: December 16, 2006, 12:47 PM »
 :o ;D Alright! this was cool!Alot of action and a lot of jedi!Sweet
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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (UPDATE - Fri, Dec 15, 06)
« Reply #314 on: December 16, 2006, 08:06 PM »
LOVED IT!
Momar and Fester