Jargon Number 9, a spoiler free zone.
Good friend and Jedi Defender reporter, OCB, suggested I tackle this very
important issue this week. Spoilers. Some want the scoop before hand, some want
to avoid it like that Wal Mart down the street. Yeah, the one with all the new
Yu Gi Oh, and lots of Kamino Escape Jango's.
Whos going to kill Mace Windu? What will Anakin look like? Will Padme still look
hot, prego? Burning questions, the likes of which can only be answered by giving
into the temptation that is a SPOILER!
Then, there are those of us who actually like surprises and don't wanna know a
damn thing before we march into that movie theatre for the 1st of 25 or 30
times, to see Episode 3.
It's important to be mindful of not only the force, but fellow fan boys. Break
out the spoiler block and beach towel! Here's some tips on how you can stay
spoiler free over the next 750 days until Episode 3.
1) Don't make the mistake of posting Episode 3 spoilers in their un- designated
areas. You'll look like a fool when the mods move your thread, and look even
worse after the wanna-be mods get their licks in. Besides, most collecting/fan site
forums have areas in which you can tell spoiler lovers how many lines Mace has,
who's in the movie, and in what fashion Jar Jar's way over due death may come.
DON'T WORRY, those were only EXAMPLES!
2) If you do decide you wanna speculate or proclaim something you know as true,
put "SPOILERS AHEAD" in the title of your threads. That's a good way
to help the un-spoiled steer clear of said thread.
3) Fight the urge to subscribe to Hyperspace! Yes, you can do it! You have to
tell yourself that $20 a year and being able to vote on what color Obi Wan
Kenobi's trashcan is JUST.. NOT.. WORTH IT! $20 richer and spoiler free, or
mentally bombarded with Episode 3 images, the likes of which will ruin the movie
for ya. You decide.
4) Cut yourself off from the outside world. I mean, more so than you already
are, fan boy. Sure, being fed through a tube that runs into your plastic bubble
isn't exactly convenient, but it IS a surefire way to distance yourself from
Star Wars spoilers. Not to mention a shower, friends, toys, and god forbid.. THE
5) Avoid the internet! Curse Al Gore and start an uprising against the man who
opened Pandora's e-mail Box! Evil evil evil!
6) Become a Star Trek fan. I don't condone this one, but since Data died in
Nemesis, another Star Trek film is not likely. No spoilers to be had there!
In all seriousness, be on your best Star Wars manners in regards to Episode 3.
With Hyperspace, and the Episode 3 hype machine gearing up, spoilers are going
to be debuting a lot sooner and in full force.
Lets work together to let the spoiler freaks be spoiled, and the non- spoiler
freaks.. be.. err.. non-spoiled!
Til next time!
Reporter and Column Editor