Author Topic: College Football 2008  (Read 12357 times)

Offline Matt

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Re: College Football 2008
« Reply #60 on: January 9, 2009, 06:06 PM »
January 9, 2009: Tebow Skips Senior Season, Ascends Directly Into Heaven


MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national 
championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim 
Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend 
directly into heaven.

Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24-
hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman 
winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the 
podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters 

"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with 
cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal 

"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University of Florida, winning two national championships, has been a great honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to clear that up right now," he continued.

"Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room.

"After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a blinding white light and vanished.

In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood), re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most Tebow-like" person in America.

"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on earth."
"The good news is that all that blood is actually ketchup. The bad news, however, is that all that ketchup is actually blood."

Offline Rob

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Re: College Football 2008
« Reply #61 on: January 9, 2009, 06:14 PM »
Damn, there goes the repeat bid.