I am a big EU fan but I think the Sequel Trilogy should either completely ignore it or use whatever bits and pieces serve the story. I think seeing Luke as a Jedi Master is a must. I think the first movie should catch us up with the OT characters and establish the new threat. the second movie should move the focus from the OT characters to the ST characters (hopefully the children of the Skywalker/ Solos), and the third should be a vehicle for establishing the ST characters as the new guard.
I don't need or want to see Luke, Han or Leia die. IMO, killing off characters of that stature is a cheap way to get an emotional response from the audience. Not only that, it's been done to death in the EU (Jacen going dark, Anakin dying, Chewbacca dying) and I'm sick of it. Call me sentimental, but I want to see these characters pass the torch and have a happy ending to their respective stories.