No visuals here, but it's still kind of funny. Some of you have probably already seen this though. Please forgive me for all the ">"s in there, but that's how it shows up in my e-mail, and I sure as hell ain't going to delete all that crap.
> >Subject: Fwd: FW: Empire Strikes Back Missing Dialogue (fwd)> >
> >
> >LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!!! I am not into Star Wars, but this is kind of
> >funny!!
> >
> > > Vader Strikes Back
> > >
> > > There's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of
> >EMPIRE
> > > STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it expands on the scene
> > > where
> > > Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends
> >created
> > > with the release of Episode 1...
> > >
> > > The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition
> > >
> > > INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:
> > >
> > > A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE
> > > SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader,
chops
> >off
> > > Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke
> >backs
> > > away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but
straight
> > > down.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
> > >
> > > Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: No... I am your father!
> > >
> > > Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
> > >
> > > Luke: NO!
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know
that
> > > brass droid of yours?
> > >
> > > Luke: Threepio?
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years
> >old...
> > >
> > > Luke: No...
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at
> >yourself,
> > > no
> > > hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the
> > > swamp...
> > >
> > > Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly
> >destroyed
> > > a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
> > >
> > > Luke: Well, it's not my fault...
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me
> >what
> >I
> > > wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the
> > > Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
> > >
> > > Luke: Shut up...
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had
> > > exterminated the Jedi knights!
> > >
> > > Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner
> >of
> > > the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right
here
> > > baby!
> > >
> > > Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose
> >you
> > > are, but you sure ain't mine...
> > >
> > > Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the
> > > shaft.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader looks after him.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader: Get a haircut!
