Dear CSM,
Thank you for taking the time to answer the questions that myself and my esteemed fellow collectors have posed to you here at JD. Unfortunately, something has been bothering me as I read through this thread, thank you for the suggestion btw to look thru the thread in completion, as I obviously was in error about your company's current position in the sphincter of Walmart. Which does bring the question to mind, does Target's anal walls have the same shade of red as the walls in their stores? I digress though...
We always have the time to answer any questions our fans have, since we really don't do anything during the day other than look around on the internet to find
praise of our unerring genius. So you're very welcome.
As for the rectal cavity of Target, it is very difficult for us to make out the exact shade of the walls as the cavity is filled with impacted fecal matter. Additionally, we have been informed by several collectors that Target's entire colon is filled with impacted fecal matter, but we can neither confirm nor deny this at this time.
On 9/27 at 7:00pm you stated: "But as you know, Hasbro is never at fault or wrong about anything"
This is true, as we are never wrong about anything. If any inconsistencies are found, there is always a reasonable explanation for this, usually because the person pointing them out misread or was hallucinating.
On 9/29 at 11:04am in response to my aforementioned question about your company's stay in Wally world poop launcher, you mentioned in reference to your former roommates: "In retrospect, however, the time we spent in the Wal-Mart ass was quite enjoyable, despite the presence of the RIAA and Mattel." But prior to that on 9/26 at 7:12pm you stated: "And I don't know what other aspects of the figure world you refer to, Cody, since Hasbro is the only toy company in existence." You're clearly aware of Mattel's existence, so I have to ask, do they owe Hasbro rent money or something? Did they not pull their share of the load at the big blue butt?
Mattel is a paid subsidiary of Hasbro, although this is not well known. In street terms, Mattel is "our bitch." When we had tired of making the awesome Batman line, we shoved it on over to Mattel and we think they've done a fine job of upholding the Hasbro tradition of endless repaints in gaudy colors. The Mattel logo is actually the Hasbro logo sideways. Would I lie to you?
Also on 9/27 at 10:25am you stated: "As I referred to earlier, new figures require effort and with no new Star Wars movies, we just really couldn't care less at this point. But just 15 hours prior on 9/26 at 7:45pm you said "Hasbro really does care." So I'm left to wonder, in that short span of time, has company policy changed and if so, how do you expect that to effect your profit margin in the coming holiday season and the company business model for fiscal year 06/07?
Our company policy changes on an almost daily basis, Mr. Horn. However, the one thing that remains true 365 days a year is that we will always deny, deny, deny anything being wrong with anything. We are a very stubborn lot, and even though we like to give the impression that we are a caring lot (it was even printed on boxes for a while!), this is only done to pacify the customers who buy our shoddy products. Our other philosophy, as evidenced in every yearly report, is "Blame Retail" and if that fails, "Blame everyone else."
We do not expect this to affect our profit margin in the least for the following fiscal year, mainly because people will buy anything with the Star Wars name on it in this day and age. Hence our release of the new 2 inch Unleashed line, the new Star Wars Choppers line, and the Star Wars Transformers line (we get to kill two birds with one stone on that one). If it does not go well, we blame retail or the collectors. If it does, it was all due to our genius.
Hasbro=INFALLIBLE
Oh and when will we be seeing Goa'uld system lord figures I've heard so much about on some of those stellar sites out there on the web like Tony's Chicken Shack and Plastic Dolls?
We have no plans to release figures based on whatever it is you're talking about at this time, but we could go for some good chicken. In fact, we're going to get on that right now (the chicken, not the Goa'uld thing).
