Jeez. I think I'll film myself doing stupid s*** with a golf ball retriever and put it on the Internet and suck up all the fame, because I'm an attention whore. He doesn't want his life back, he (or his parents) want money.
To Mr. Lucas: Don't cast this fat little f***. I'll be in Episode III for free, provided you fly me to New Zealand or wherever the hell it's being filmed.