JediDefender.com Forums

Collecting => Customs => Photonovels and Movies => Topic started by: Darth_Ennis on April 11, 2006, 04:47 PM

Title: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth_Ennis on April 11, 2006, 04:47 PM
The planet of Naboo, approximately 6 weeks after the battle of Geonosis

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P1.jpg)
Narrator- Before each mission, I like to find a high place. A high place where I can sit and meditate. Where I can let go of doubt, stress, confusion, and anger. And all other things about this war that are not of the Jedi.
    To let go and give myself over to the living force, as Master Qui-Gon showed me. Though never my master, Qui-Gon was never unwilling to help an awkward learner. Though I am considered a master, I still feel as though I am a student.
 
(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P2.jpg)

Narrator- It was a long time before he chose an apprentice, the reasons why never were revealed. I often wonder how I would have turned out, had he chose me before my master did. I'm not sure that Obi-Wan ever really knew how lucky he was. Especially for someone who doesn't believe in luck.
    Over 10 years have passed since Qui-Gon became one with the Force. 10 years and a senseless war. I am almost thankful that niether he nor my master are alive to see what the galaxy has become. These are the things that go through my mind as I sit here. I do reach a certain calm after a while. When my mind and body become in tune with the force.
   But alas, the peace is never long.......

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P3.jpg)
Commander-" Ahem...General."
Tox-" Yes Commander?"
Commander- "The men are ready. The pilots are making their final pre-flight inspections now. I have come to inform you of their progress as per your request."
Tox- " Very well commander, I will be there shortly."
Commander- " Very good sir. Also your presence has been requested near the launch pad. You have two visitors sir, Jedi by the looks of them."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P4.jpg)
Tox- " Jedi? But who? There are no other Jedi on Naboo that I know of."
Commander- " Sir, one claims to be an old freind. He also says to tell you that " They are not the Jedi you are looking for". He says you'll know what it means."
Tox- " Is that a SMILE, Commander?"
Commander- " I'm afraid it is sir. I'll have it removed immidiately."
Tox- " Careful Commander. You keep that up and you just might develop a sense of humor."
Commander- " Understood sir, It wont happen again."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P5.jpg)
Obi-Wan-  "Loosen up Anakin, He's not going to bite you."
Anakin- " But I'm trying to make a good impression Master."
Obi-Wan- " You're a Jedi Anakin, not a droid. Calm down, he wont think any less of you if you act HUMAN."
Anakin- " But you say that this man saved your life Master, he deserves to be respected."
Obi-Wan- " I just think you're going a little overboard. At least slouch or something."
Anakin- " I'm sorry master. I don't mean to embarrass you."
Obi-Wan- ( Sigh!) You're not embarrassing Anakin, just try to relax."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P6.jpg)
Lieutennant- "You guys ready?"
Pilots- " Yes sir."
Pilot 1- " Everything's a go sir."
Lieutennant-  "Good job boys, the general is on his way. We lift off in 10."
Pilot 2- " That'll give me enough time to grab my brain bucket sir."
Lieutennant " Hmph... Good, Soldier. You MAY need that."
Pilot 2- " Heh! Aye Aye sir."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P7.jpg)
ARC Trooper- " Aten Hut! Officers on tarmac."
Troopers- " Aye sir!"

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P8.jpg)
Tox- "Ahhh... Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now that is a name I have not heard in a long time....A long time."
Obi-Wan- " Indeed master Tevir' It has been too long. 9 years if I'm not mistaken."
Tox- " 12 actually, but who's really counting?"
Obi Wan- ".... I told you I was sorry about that."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P09.jpg)
Tox- "( snicker) It's good to see you again Obi Wan, you are looking well."
Obi Wan-" As are you Master Tevir, its good to see you too."
Tox- " Obi-Wan, I told you its Tox. There is no need to be so formal to your freinds.  So what brings you to Naboo?"
Obi-Wan- " The war I'm afraid. I have come to retrieve Anakin, and then we are to return to Coruscant, and then possibly Muunlist next. We are held over until nightfall and then we ship out. When I was informed that you were here I decided to see you off."
Tox- " So this is Anakin Skywalker. The chosen one. So the legends are true."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P10.jpg)
Anakin- " It's an honor to meet you master."
Tox_ " No Anakin, the honor is mine. You have quite a reputation to live up to. It looks as though Qui-Gon has chosen well."
Anakin- " I certainly hope so master."
Tox- " .....hmm.... Obi-Wan... Does he ... always stand like that?"
Obi-Wan- " Actually... no. He is trying to impress you."
Tox- " And so he has. Now snap out of it son. I'm not that important.

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P11.jpg)
Commander- " Everything is in readiness general, we leave on your word."
Tox-" Very well commander, get your troops on board and fire the engines. I will take a moment to move my freinds to a safe distance, and we'll be on our way.
Commander- " Very good sir. I will inform the men."
Tox-" Come my freinds, walk with me. We have much to discuss, and very little time to do it."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P12.jpg)
Tox- "Well unfortunately my freinds the war calls. The commander WILL leave with out me if I'm not on time. He's done it once before."
Obi-Wan- "Well we don't mean to keep you. We'll be on our way."
Tox- " By the way Anakin, it is an awfully chilly morning. You are shaking like a leaf. Where is your cloak?"
Obi-Wan- " Anakin has yet to replace the one he lost on Geonosis."
Anakin- " A jedi does not feel cold Master, I am fine."
Tox- " Who filled your head with that nonsense. Jedi freeze just like everyone else. Here take mine. Besides there are no doors on the ship, I'll need to be as areodynamic as possible."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P13.jpg)
Anakin-"................"
Obi-Wan-" Master Tox, I do beleive that you have finally done the impossible. You have left Anakin speechless."
Tox- " It's just a cloak. Not a very good one at that."
Obi-Wan- " Well, I did tell him the story of Ord Mandell"
Tox- " Which story of Ord Mandell? I seems like everybody has an Ord Mandell story."
Obi-Wan- " THE Ord Mandell story."
Tox-" .....OH!... Riiiight... That Ord Mandel story. Yes,I remember that one. From what I remember it was nothing really. I'm sure he would have done the same for me. I am quite sure that it has been embellished a bit in the telling. Did he tell you why it happened?"

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P14.jpg)
Obi Wan- " But the Hutt was cheating! How was I supposed to know the waitress was spiking my drinks?"
Tox- " I told you that, but you wouldn't listen. That blue ale you seem to love so much tends to make you invincible for short periods of time."
Obi-Wan- " ( snicker) Ah yes, the old "liquid courage". gets me every time."
Tox- " It's a good thing 'We weren't the Jedi they were looking for' wasn't it?"
Obi-Wan- "Ha! Ha! How true, how true. I still owe you a drink for that."
Tox- "Thats 2 actually but whos counting."
Anakin- Is that when he saved you Master?"

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P15.jpg)
Tox- " No Anakin.... That story will have to wait for another day. It's very long in the telling.  And I'm not sure I'm the one to tell you that one. It's not really something that I really care to talk about."
Anakin- " I apologise Master, I did not mean to upset you."
Tox- " That's quite alright Padawan. I am not offended. Do enjoy the cloak, use it well. Now if you will excuse me, my men are waiting. We have a senseless war to win after all. May the Force be with you Anakin."
Anakin-" May the force be with you."
Tox- " By the way Obi-Wan, this war will not last forever. I fully expect you to pay your debts upon it's immidiate conclusion. Don't try to hide. Because I will find you."
Obi-Wan- " I will. I do promise not to be as much of a stranger in the future."
Tox- " We will meet again Obi-Wan, I promise you that. May the Force be with you my freind"
Obi-Wan- " And also with you old freind."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P16.jpg)
Anakin-" I'm sorry Master, I didn't mean to..........."
Obi-Wan-" No Anakin, it's my fault, I should have told you the whole story. He nearly sacrificed his life to save Master Qui-Gon and myself. It was the day he bacame a Jedi Knight. It was a day I will never forget."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P17.jpg)
Anakin-" He saved Qui-Gon too?  That means that I owe him my life as well. If it were'nt for you and Qui-Gon I would still be a slave on Tatooine working for Watto.I owe Qui-Gon everything. But, why does he not like to talk about it, that should have been the greatest day of his life."
Obi-Wan-" Because, that is also the day he lost his Master as well. Much like myself, the glory of becoming a Jedi was...bittersweet. Now come Anakin we have our own preperations to make."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P18.jpg)
Tox- "Have you room for one more Commander?"
Commander- ( Hrumph) I wouldn't leave without you sir."
Tox- " Sarcasm commander? That seems a bit benieth you. You may have a sense of humor yet. Hopefully you would have at least left a few for me."
Commander- " I gaurantee nothing sir."
Tox- " Lets be off then."

(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P19.jpg)
Pilot 1- "We will be within range in 20 clicks."
Tox- ( whisper)" And hopefully out in less. Force protect us."
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Nirvana on April 11, 2006, 05:14 PM
Looking pretty good! The pics are really interesting, can't wait for you to add dialogue.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Reid on April 11, 2006, 07:32 PM
This PN looks pretty cool. Can't wait for dialouge! Love how you used the outdoors as a setting.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: BrentS on April 11, 2006, 11:27 PM
DE- looks great.  I love the outdoor photos.  I'm ready for the dialogue (but I know that its a pain to do). 

I'm curious, are we supposed to know who the third Jedi is?  Maybe its obvious to everyone else but I'm not sure.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Quazar on April 12, 2006, 06:34 AM
Well, this is a nice change of pace.

usually people post "previews" which are nothing but text.  Now we have the exact opposite.  Like the antilles jedi custom.  good hair!

However, I am tempted to try to write my own story to go along with these pics!

so hurry up with the words....looking good so far!

Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Reid on April 12, 2006, 09:55 AM
The Antilles Jedi reminds me of Elrond...

 ;D
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: CHEWIE on April 12, 2006, 11:34 AM
Looks to me like the 3rd Jedi is supposed to be a figure representation of Ennis himself?  Am I correct?

We had a group project a while back to make a figure of ourself and that head was perfect for Ennis. With the hair, wow this really is almost freaky with how much it looks like him.

Very nice pics by the way, and customs and set up.  Can't wait to see the added dialogue!

 :)
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: In Rem on April 12, 2006, 04:24 PM
Make wit' da' woids!

This looks like it will be really, really good!
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: CHEWIE on April 12, 2006, 04:28 PM
I think I noticed something here... is Anakin's right a "real" one or mechanical?

 :)
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth_Ennis on April 12, 2006, 05:08 PM
Wow! I didn't expect this kind of response with out any dialouge. Thanks for the encouragement. The good news is the library (where I am forced to use the computers for only 30 mins. at a time) will be open until 8:00 tomorrow night so the dialouge ( and there is a lot of it :-[) should be up tomorrow afternoon.

Now to the questions.

Yes the third Jedi is in fact Me. HIs name is Master Tox Tevir. Which is my name Scott Rivet spelled backwards in true Lucas fashion. He will be the main character in this story. BUt there will be lots of actual characters involved as well. As well as the possibility of a few unexpected cameos.

Dammit!!! That is Anakins real hand. I forgot to change it out when I took the pics. Thankkfully its hidden in most of the pics. Thanks for pointing that out
Chewie. I need to remember to change it out next time I use him.

Im am glad everyone likes it so far.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: CHEWIE on April 12, 2006, 05:31 PM
The hand is not even noticeable Ennis.   I only noticed it because a while back in one of my photonovels I had his right hand showing blatantly and someone pointed it out.  At least in your pics the right hand isn't showing except just barely in the one pic.   ;)

 :)
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: blaster_e11 on April 14, 2006, 10:21 AM
this looks cool, can't wait to read the rest of the story

nice customs too, but i believe blue officers are lts not sergeants, you may want to correct that
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: S_A_Longhorn on April 14, 2006, 03:25 PM
WOW, great stuff ENNIS! 

So disappointing that the dialogue is not complete!!  What is there is perfect.  I especially liked the funny dialogue between Tox and the Commander.  Obi-Wan and Anakin played off each other perfectly as well.  Although I would figure Anakin to say the opposite of "he saved your life, Master.  he should eb respected," since Anakin saved Obi-Wan's life many times.  :)

Can't wait for you to finish the dialogue.  The Custom Jedi Tox is outstanding.  I couldn't figure out what head you sued until I read someone's comments about Antilles.  Great addition of the long hair.

Finish your dialogue!!  Can't wait to finish reading this story.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: ratm on April 15, 2006, 01:05 AM
Love the jedi with the mullet.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: BrentS on April 15, 2006, 09:28 AM
Great dialogue so far!  Finish it up so we can fully comment on the story.  I like the playful dialogue and I like how you mixed known Star Wars "isms" with your dialogue.

Chewie and Longhorn were helpful to me pointing out a few typos and things.  I found a few that you may want to correct:

I do reach a certain calm after a while. When my mind and bodybecome in tune with the force.


Im afraid it is sir. Ill have it removed immidiately."

The chosen one. So the leghends are true."

" BUt you say that this

" Everything is in readyness general, we leave on your word."


Obi-Wan- " Indeed master Tevir' It has been too long. 9 years if I'm not mistaken."
Tox- " 12 actually, but whos really counting?"
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth_Ennis on April 17, 2006, 11:56 AM
Well, it took an act of Congress but I finally got the complete dialouge up. Hopefully everyone enjoys it. I have hopefully learned a but from my mistakes and it wont tkae as long to get the second part up. Ive snapped a few pics but due to incliment weather ( rain and a digital camera dont mix) I may have to retake them.

I am now in the process of fixing the typos. I thank everyone who has pointed these out, and I am in the process of fixing them now.

Blaster_e11: your right, the blue clones are in fact Lieutennants, the green ones are Seargents. I corrected that one, thanks for pionting that out.

Ratm: its not supposed to be a mullet, he has long bangs like myself, they are just pulled back.

In-Rem: I made wit da woids. Sorry it took so long. ;D

BrentS: thanks for all your help. Punctuation and me never have gotten along. I was in a hurry to get the words up.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: BrentS on April 17, 2006, 12:34 PM
Darth Ennis

Now I want the story of Ord Mandrell!  Very nice dialogue.  I'm looking forward to seeing where this one goes.  I really like the witty exchange between the jedi.  Keep it up.

My one comment on the custom figures would be that if you think Obi and Tox will be interacting more in the future, you may want to make some subtle changes to Tox's jedi robes.  Since they both use the same body they almost look like twins.  It was especially noticeable in this picture:
(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Darth_Ennis/Photonovel%20Pics/E1-P15.jpg)
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: PenDragon on April 17, 2006, 03:15 PM
I really like the "personality" you've given the clone commander. And the interplay between him and Tox is pretty cool.

All in all, it's a great story so far, Darth_Ennis! I'm quite intrigued! But the dialog could use some proof-reading ;)
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth_Ennis on April 17, 2006, 04:42 PM

All in all, it's a great story so far, Darth_Ennis! I'm quite intrigued! But the dialog could use some proof-reading ;)
Quote

Sorry ;) Im working on that now.

BTW My Latin is a little rusty. What does your tag line say?
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: PenDragon on April 17, 2006, 09:56 PM
BTW My Latin is a little rusty. What does your tag line say?

It says (sorta) "you don't know the power of the dark side..."(http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/6219/jawa4ep.gif)
 ;D
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth Depressis on August 16, 2006, 02:05 PM
very nice, i like the location shooting. but probably has its own hurdles, believe me rubbermaid green screen has plunty o-hurdles.

and how did you had the hair to capt. antilles?
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Quazar on August 17, 2006, 04:06 AM
Wow, somehow I missed the added dialogue.   Thanks to the bump from Depressis, I got a chance to take a look again.

Very nice work!  When will we see the continuation, this is a great chapter and a great beginning.

I hope to see more!  Tox is a cool character and your dialogue is quite good (typos not withstanding  ;)  )

Well done!
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Artoo on August 17, 2006, 06:03 PM
I like it, I'm surprised to see a PN that dosen't use ROTS clones & Anakin/Obi-Wan.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth_Ennis on September 1, 2006, 11:57 AM
WOW I didn't think anyone even remembered this. I do have more story, its just been very hard lately to find the time to do it. Well, that and there have been some personal issues of late that I have had to deal with.

I do plan on finishing the story tough.

Thanks guys.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Swede on September 3, 2006, 01:43 PM
Wow!!! This was great!  What an awesome story. 
I'm very glad it was bumped or I would have missed out on this gem.
So where to start ... loved the dialogue, this is another one of those PNs that you didn't even need to post pix because the dialogue is so rich that you can't help but get a feel of what's going on.  Everybody's, from Skywalker to the clone's speech was top notch ..very believable.
Your pics were fantastic, great use of natural settings; it really looked like a forested area and showed off the figs wonderfully.
The best part of the story is your main character Tox.  You can tell that the guy could be a serious bad@$$ if he wanted to be.  I just love the respect he commands from people, even OB1 !!!  Just great.

Please post some more chapters, you definately have talent ...share it with the rest of us  ;)
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Deanna Rash on November 30, 2006, 09:52 PM
 ;DThis looks really great Ennis! My favorite type of story! Jedi and Qui-gon.He is my favorite.The shot are good the spelling (Well you know from all the others ) But I'can't wait to read some more.Keep them coming!you got me very curious now.
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Darth_Ennis on December 23, 2006, 05:13 PM
Well, I thank everyone again for not forgetting about this one. :-[

The good news is I will finally have some free time to devote to this in January, so I can FINALLY finish telling my story. I've got most of the details planned out, but in true George Lucas style, I'm still gonna make most of it up as I go along. ;D
Title: Re: Blood and Honor: Prologue
Post by: Deanna Rash on December 24, 2006, 05:42 PM
 ;DWith Special editions Too!HEHEHE Just kidding I an't wait as I said before Qui-gon is my favorite and anything
with Jedi