CHEWIE -
Bravo, man. Bravo! Perfect transitional chapter from the most recent episode with the BC to political intrigue and deception!
1. Nice touch keeping a black eye on RE. It's a detail that is easy to ignore in production, but it gives the story a temporal grounding, and you know as well as anyone that with the layoff between chapters that kind of grounding is critical.
2. I must have missed that Rodian Senator. Dead perfect.
3. Good job having Palpatine twist RE's heroism into a breach of duty. Sounds just like something he'd do! I also like that RE only initially resisted the order of leave. I don't think I could have believed that he would - after what he just went through - fight too hard against a return to Naboo.
4. Nice placement of the fledgling Rebellion in the bar. And nice work keeping it as brief as you did.
5. Your Twi'lek spy placement was great. Great work on that figure, and great work in getting her into the story.
6. The interaction of RE and co. with Valorum was very well executed. I liked that Kala seemed very in tune with Valorum's misgivings while Freelo was clueless. RE's coming around to just how serious Valorum's tone was seemed very realistic... almost like RE was tempted to just be selfish and say "not my problem" before breaking down and asking Valorum to call him on Naboo. I also like that Valorum is breaking down more and more... it's like he's losing faith in what is right, and the manners are the first casualty.
7. The after-action scenes with GG and the BDs are perfect, and really look like the aftermath of a terrible defeat for the Republic. The Dooku holo shots came out perfectly. Convo between Dooku and GG was also dead on.
8. This cracked me up, mostly b/c it sounds like an adapted Busch beer ad: "After all, the taste of quality beer can make any man want to head for the mountains of Naboo."
CHEWIE, I know you get nothing but praise for these, but do know it's well-deserved. I do my best to give a very critical eye, as I hope for the same from others. I just can't find much in the way of problems! You not only deliver the goods each and every time you post, but you seem to get better and better. Maybe the new live action series for TV will bring you in to consult or something...
There are a few typos:
- "With the war effort now being concentrated against the Confederacy, the Badoo Corba had become an afterthought to the military; free to gain strength and was no longer vulnerable."
The last "was" is out of place there. "...free to gain strength and no longer vulnerable"
-"But what did you hope accomplish?" ; "...to accomplish?"
Again, CHEWIE, awesome work!
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It does work out OK here, though. Thanks for noticing.
