So I get up with the family bright and early this morning, and head to Kroger (a grocery store chain for those who may not know). We weave through the crowds, scrounge for the stuff we need, and make our way to the checkout lane. Typical week before Christmas, the place is packed and lines are moving slow. But what is this I hear? Kroger is handing out free gifts? Well isn't that nice! I guess the wait in line wont be so bad, after all, we are getting a free gift just for taking our business to Kroger!
We continue to wait. It's a long line. Finally, we get to the conveyor and start unloading. They've run out of gifts! Oh no! We wont get one! The cashier starts to ring up our groceries. Ah, here comes an employee with a large box! It's more free gifts, and we'll be getting one! Wohoo! Free stuff!
Thank you for shopping at Kroger! As a way of wishing you Merry Christmas, we have a free gift for you. The cahsier reaches into the box. The tension builds. Seconds become hours. What could the free gift be? A gift certificate? Free food maybe? I could go for some doughnuts right about now. Maybe some soda? A Christmas ornament perhaps?
Finally, the moment arrives, and the cashier pulls the gift from the box.
It's.... IT'S....... OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT! IT'S..............
A ROLL OF FREAKING TOILET PAPER! Yes, you read that correctly. I nice shiny roll of cheap one ply toilet paper. The kind where you have to use half the roll just for an on-par cleaning. The kind cheaper than what you find in a backwater gas station.
Merry Christmas! Please think of Kroger each time you wipe your ass with this cheap toilet paper!