JediDefender.com Forums
Collecting => Customs => Photonovels and Movies => Topic started by: Flacksguy on August 18, 2006, 10:47 PM
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I posted this the other day over at RS and got a pretty good response. It is my first attempt at a serious PN. I usually do comedies. Hope you guys like it.
******WARNING******
The following Photonovel contains Strong Language, Simulated Violence & Gore.
Not recommended for younger viewers
.
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The Annex
8/9/06
Prologue
Not long after the beginning of the Clone Wars, the earliest Clone examples,
units that had been ready long before the conflict began, have already started to deteriorate.
Thinking these soliders are no longer of any use to the war effort,
the Republic has decided to reassign them to help out in other areas of public safety....
(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/c11248e7.jpg)
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/69d3d6ae.jpg)
The Coruscant Correctional Institution-Annex....
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/c4ec42e0.jpg)
...the Director of the Coruscant Correctional Institution-Annex (CCI-X),
Commander Bishop Robinson, is distracted this morning.
He is expecting four new officers today.
But these officers were not hired by his department....they were assigned by the Republic....
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/e5278c1d.jpg)
CR-25R : Good morning sir,
It seems the new officers are arriving at Security Control.
Robinson : Yes......
Thank you CR, thank you.
(sigh) I guess we'll see how this goes, won't we?
CR-25R : Is something wrong sir?
It was my understanding that the Institution was in great need of new officers.
The Republic has been kind enough to re-assign some of it's soliders that are no longer needed for war.
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Robinson : We are...
We're always in need of officers...
I just can't help thinking....
Y'know, we humans have a saying :
"Be careful what you wish for"
CR-25R : With all due respect sir, you humans have many sayings.
"Beggars can't be choosers" is another, I believe?
Robinson : Heh, heh, heh. You're right my friend.
You are very wise.
I know these are probably fine men, who have proved themselves in battle,
but for some reason......
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/499749cb.jpg)
.....I'm just not sure they can handle the Annex.
.
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The Annex
8/9/06
(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/a90fc39c.jpg)
The new officers head down the long hallway toward the Roll Call room. They are greeted by the familiar sound of a commander giving orders....
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"....O.I.C. East Wing-Sgt. Hyde
.....East Wing Officers-Ofc. Bond, Ofc. Weeks
.....O.I.C. West Wing-Sgt. Hayhurst
.....West Wing Officers-Ofc. Young, Ofc. Claiborne
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/fdc9749c.jpg)
Capt. Edwards : Well, well.
Nice of you to join us.
You men are late, I expect you here at the start of Roll Call, just like everyone else
Ofc. Hollis : Sorry Sir.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/33b706c9.jpg)
Capt. Edwards : That armour doesn't mean anything here, you'll be treated just like everyone else, and that includes arriving on time, do I make myself clear?
All : Yes Sir.
Capt. Edwards : You can leave those helmets here, I don't want to see them inside the jail.
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Capt. Edwards : Sgt. Dozier, I want you to show these men around,
then split them up and send two to observe out in the yard with Sgt. Ham, and take two with you to Central Store Room.
You'll be in charge of these men today Sgt. Dozier.
Dozier : Yes Sir.
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Capt. Edwards : ...welcome to the Annex, gentlemen.
Dismissed!
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Dozier : How you doin'
..names Dozier. You guys were in the War I see,
Clones, huh?
Ofc Hollis : Yeah, I'm Commander....I mean Ofc. Hollis
This is Ofc. Graves, Ofc. Harrod & Ofc. Cota.
Graves, Harrod & Cota : Hey.
Dozier : What are those things on your belts?
Hollis : They WERE Ammo cartridges, they're empty now, all of them.
Dozier : Good,
You guys won't need all that armour here, just your chest plate from now on.
We all wear chest armour here in the Annex. They don't need it next door at C.C.I., but we do here.
Don't want anybody getting stabbed up.
You guys can leave the rest of that stuff at home tomorrow.
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Hollis : So what's with that guy, he always like that?
Dozier : Who, Cap?
Captain Edwards is a good man to work for. You do your job, and you won't have no problems with him.
I'll tell you what, be glad you'll be on his shift and not Capt. Cheney's.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/e499c0c4.jpg)
Hollis : Why is this place called the Annex?
It's not an annex to anything is it?
Dozier : Actually, it is.
About 7 years ago, the Dept.of Public Safety went to the Republic with a proposal for a new jail because of the overcrowding.
The Republic turned it down, said it was way too expensive.
But they DID approve an ANNEX to the existing jail.
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Dozier : So Public Safety went ahead and built an entirely new jail, right next to the old one, and called it "The Annex".
C.C.I.-Annex.
Pretty slick, huh?
We're a completely separate jail from C.C.I.,
even have our own Director, but on paper we're just an annex.
Toughest jail on the planet too.
When they were stocking this place up with inmates, they took the worst criminals and shipped 'em over here.
Practically emptied out SuperMax, most of those guys are over here now.
Well men, here's our first stop....
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/5237b76a.jpg)
....Center Hall.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/709789b2.jpg)
Dozier : This is basically where the jail is run, you'll hear orders given by the Center Hall officer over the radio all day,
you also access the different areas of the jail through here.
Center Hall Control will let you through those gates to East Wing, over there West Wing, and those over there go to H, I and J-Dorms, as well as Central Store Room and M-Dorm.
Each of the wings have their own access to the yard.
Any inmate coming into Center Hall is to be shackeled.
No Exceptions.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/25d3669d.jpg)
Dozier : Follow me, I'll take you up on a Tier.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/6e9041cb.jpg)
Dozier : Oh, let me show you this...
This is the passkey.
Ofc. Hollis : I thought that was a blaster.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/a43593df.jpg)
Dozier : Noooo,
No weapons are allowed in the jail.
You don't want an inmate getting ahold of them do you?
This is what you need to open interior doors throughout the jail and the Tier Box.
Center Hall Control works the doors in Center Hall, but the passkey will work the rest of your inside doors.
It will also give you a readout of every inmate in the jail.
Name, number, where he belongs...
This does NOT leave your person.
You either hold it, or have it on your belt.
When you change shifts, you HAND IT to the officer releaving you.
Got it?
Hollis, Graves : Got it.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/503f44d6.jpg)
Dozier : Come on, Tiers are right this way.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/b28fd8fd.jpg)
Protocol Droid bumps into Ofc. Hollis
Hollis : Hey, What the....
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/89450cc5.jpg)
Hollis : Stay the Hell away from me you Fility Droid!!!
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/a69dd291.jpg)
Dozier : Man, What is WRONG with you?
Hollis : I don't want those things anywhere near me!
Dozier : You need to get over that crap right now, this ain't your damn war.
Those Protocol Droids work here in the jail, they ain't out to get you. So relax!
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/c880022a.jpg)
Hollis : Sorry man.
Dozier : Sheesh.....( shakes head )
come on, let's go.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/a9dde58c.jpg)
Dozier : O.K., this is West Wing, Tier 3, B side.
You have 4 Tiers on each Wing, 2 sides to each Tier, an A side and a B side.
So this would be 3-B, get it? 3rd Tier, B-side, the other side would be 3-A.
Upstairs would be 4-A and 4-B, downstairs 2-A and 2-B.
First Floor is Lock-Up on the West side.
Hollis : Lock up?
Dozier : Yeah, Lock-Up, or Segregation. We'll show you that later.
Come on down the Tier...
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/5a5effa0.jpg)
Dozier : ....these are your cells, there are 149 on each side. Why 149 and not 150, I don't know....
Human Inmate : OOOOH, Look at the pretty new officers!!
Gotal Inmate : Yeah, I'm gonna peel the armour off that yellow one and **** him right in the Ass!!
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/00136056.jpg)
Falleen Inmate : What are looking at tough guy?
Are you a bad ass solider? You wanna step to me bitch?
Arcona Inmate : Why the **** do they all look the same? and what's with that one in the back,
his armour ain't all dirty like the rest of 'em.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/74ff4e72.jpg)
Shistavanen Inmate : Yeah, he must have been scared. He hung out in the back.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Is that what happened punk? You scared?
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/69f6e557.jpg)
Devaronian Inmate : Hey Officer, don't pay them no mind.
Welcome to the Annex, my name's Ninevah...
extends hand to greet officer
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ZAP
Ofc. Cota : AHHHH.....
Inmates : BWWAAHAAA HAA HAA HAA HAA
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/734e72de.jpg)
Dozier : What the?
What are you doing Cota?
Cota : I went to shake that inmates hand and something zapped me.
Dozier : Ray Shields, Cota.
The cells are equipped with ray sheilds, if you had been paying attention to me instead of the inmates you'd have heard what I said-
red light above the cell means shields are up-got it?
Cota : Yes sir.
Devaronian Inmate : heh heh heh
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/e229c489.jpg)
Dozier : Come on, let's go.
Devaronian Inmate : That was some funny ****.
Shistavanen Inmate : HA HA, Hey look at the bright side officer, you got some battle damage now!!!
Arcona Inmate : Ha Ha Ha, Welcome to the Annex Rookie!!!
.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/ae72067e.jpg)
Dozier : This is the box for this Tier, here's where you open the cells.
You open the box with the passkey, and you open the cells with these levers.
Same thing, red light-closed, green-open.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/405894f2.jpg)
Sgt. Ham : What's up Doz, you babysittin'?
Dozier : Yeah,
Men, this is Sgt. Ham, he's going to take Ofcs Harrod & Cota to check out the Recreation Yard.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/d2019ee1.jpg)
Ham : Come on, follow me.
Dozier : Hollis, Graves, you're coming with me to Central Store Room.
Duro Inmate : uhhh, could somebody open my cell?
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/6882b032.jpg)
Hollis : What's Central Store Room? I keep hearing that name.
Dozier : The post is actually called Central Store Room Gate, it's the worst post in the jail.
You guys will find yourselves there alot, all rookies do.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/44091c75.jpg)
Graves : What's so bad about it?
Dozier : The Showers and the Laundry are down there, the Officer at that post has to watch those two areas, as well as control movement through the gate.
Alot of fights go on in the Showers and Laundry.
Plus it's downstairs, radios don't work so well down there.
Takes forever for people to respond.
It just sucks.
You guys will see, it....
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/acfeeb6e.jpg)
conversation is interrupted by an urgent radio call
RADIO :
**ATTENTION ALL UNITS**
**ATTENTION ALL UNITS**
**BE ADVISED...WE HAVE A 10-13 IN J-DORM**
**A 10-13 IN J-DORM**
**MULTIPLE INMATES INVOLVED**
**ALL AVAILABLE UNITS RESPOND**
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/0e3fdee8.jpg)
Dozier COME ON!!!!
The Radio, mostly quiet all day, suddenly explodes with traffic
RADIO :
**...OPEN THE WEST WING GRILL...**
**.....WE NEED THE NURSE IN J-DORM....**
**CENTER HALL TO ALL HOUSING AREAS....SECURE YOUR AREAS, HOLD ALL MOVEMENT**
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Hollis : 10-13, that's a fight, isn't it?
Dozier : J-Dorm's right through here.....
RADIO :
**CENTER HALL TO ALL TIER OFFICERS.....LOCK YOUR TIERS DOWN....**
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Sgt. Dozier and another officer, Ofc. Watts, head straight to break up the larger inmates
Hollis & Graves are directed to break up a smaller group
Dozier : YOU SEPARATE THOSE TWO!!!
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/b1aed17c.jpg)
Dozier & Watts quickly subdue the inmates
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/98321f85.jpg)
Hollis & Graves have a much harder time
Hollis : He won't let go...
Graves : aarrggghh...
Dozier : Just a sec, boys.
Let me show you a trick.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/f822e18e.jpg)
Dozier : Cover his eyes, and he lets go...
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/42f678b3.jpg)
Dozier : ...see?
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/ccf1eb1e.jpg)
Hollis : Thanks man.
Ofc. Young : Hey Dozier,
there's something you need to see....
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Ofc. Young leads the others to the J-Dorm bathroom to find.....
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/47e52bde.jpg)
Hollis : Damn, what happened to that guy?
Dozier : Guess he pissed somebody off.
You notify Cap about this, Young?
Young : Yeah, he's on his way.
Graves : Is that his blood? Why is it bubbling like that?
Dozier : I don't know, but don't get it on you.
We're gonna need to get all these inmates out of this Dorm, Cap's gonna want to do an investigation.
Young, check with Sgt. Hayhurst, make sure he's got room on Lock-Up for those guys.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/39e5ded1.jpg)
Dozier : I'm going to need you to pack up the belongings of all those inmates who are going on Lock-Up.
Pack it all up and inventory it.
Come with me, I'll get you a list of what they can have.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/02e3f7a7.jpg)
Dozier : Here are some boxes and a datapad.
When you're done, bring everything to Center Hall.
Think you can handle that?
Hollis : Yeah, we can handle it.
Dozier : Good, have fun.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/c99b79fd.jpg)
Graves : You get the feeling that packing up inmates' stuff is another one of those crappy jobs?
Hollis : They've ALL been crappy jobs.
But yeah, you're right, I think we're going to be here awhile.
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Later....much later
(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/66a4b301.jpg)
Dozier : heh,
I forgot about you two.
You finish that up yet?
Hollis : We just finished, that's everything right there.
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/e24f3585.jpg)
Dozier : Alright, that's it.....you can go.
Graves : Go where?
Dozier : Home,
Shifts over. You guys made it through your first day.
Congratulations.
Maybe tomorrow wont be so easy on ya.
smiles
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/09549cbe.jpg)
Graves : Easy?
He said today was easy.
Hollis : It wasn't so bad.
.....come on, let's get outta here.
....
...
..
.
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Epilogue
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Hollis & Graves meet up with Harrod & Cota on their way out of the jail
(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/5d92c9c6.jpg)
Hollis : What's up guys, how was your day?
Harrod : Great, we stood around in the yard guarding a wall, then stood around in the Feed-Up area, guarding ANOTHER wall...
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/267e2a90.jpg)
Cota : Yeah, then after that, we got to guard the wall in the yard again.
What about you two, we heard you had some excitement today.
Graves : A little bit, but it was still an "Easy" day.
Harrod : So what do you think Hollis?
This ain't gonna be a bad job, huh?
We're gonna do our part for the Republic.
Hollis : You want to know what I think?
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(http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/Flacksguy/39f326ec.jpg)
Hollis : I think they made a mistake sending us here.....
.....a big mistake.
....
...
..
.
The End.
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I saw this over at RS, and I think it is a great story. Good job!
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Yahoooooo.....
Flacks, I'm stoked you've decided to bring your fantastic photonovel over here! You already know my opinion from RS, but I just wanted to say welcome and encourage others to check out this top notch story. ;D
See ya round the boards, bud.
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That was awsome ! cant wait to see what happens next keep up the good work ;)
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Welcome, Flacks! Can you post your RS funny novels over here? Nice to see you again!
I liked the novel & your customs!
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Thanks for all the positive feedback everyone.
Jedi Assassin --Thanks for checking it out both places, glad you enjoyed it.
Swede-- Thanks for the welcome. I knew there were alot of great PN's over here, so I wanted to see what the response to mine would be.
212th Battalion --Thanks man, appreciate the feedback.
Artoo --Ha Ha, glad you liked my "customs". I guess they technically ARE customs, just not very good ones. I could use a little practice in that area. :D
As far as the comedies I've done in the past, I've been told that they may not go over as well here on JD, so I think I'll just leave them where they are.
Thanks anyway.
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FINALLY, FLACKSGUY JOINS JD.COM!!!
Welcome to these boards and the photonovels section that gets a lot more attention and traffic than the RS board.
I posted my comments over at RS, so I won't repost them here.
Bring over your SW Bloopers PN. Everyone will get a kick out of them over here.
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Hey, thanks Longhorn.
Yeah, it's been pretty slow over at RS. Seems like a good group over here though.
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Cool new PN Flacksguy. Cracked up when I read that the Gotal said he was gonna anally rape the clone, hehe.
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Thank you Hunter.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Yeah, that's pretty much what you'd hear in the jail.
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Flacksguy, this is an AWESOME photonovel.
Wow, I friggn' love it.
What an imaginative premise! Highly original, I've never seen anything like it.
There is so much to love here. The story, dialogue and characterizations are great. The concept is brilliant. The characters really pop and I love Dozier, great choice of a customized Mace head, since I can so hear this guy being played by Samuel L. Jackson.
I love the backstory gag about the Annex itself, which is brilliantly satirical.
I love the world you create here, a very unique and imaginative take on an undiscovered corner of the SW universe.
I love the orange jumpsuits you made for all your inmates. damn, that must've been hard!
Outstanding work, welcome to JD! I have been a fan of your humorous work at RS and I would definitely encourage you to post them here.
I am a little dismayed over the fact that there are so many good photonovels here and at RS that seem to get very little feedback. And I'll admit I'm just as guilty as others, since I haven't been posting much lately and don't comment on every single photonovel (just because I'm usually pretty busy).
But I really wish that these awesome stories, whether they're yours or Swede's or Longhorn's or Ennis' or Lushro Dofine's got more replies. Making photonovels is probably the most difficult and labor intensive project on these boards, as it involves making customs and making dioramas and writing and photoshopping/special effects.
And yet....so often, an awesome story like yours only gets a small smattering of comments. What the heck?
It seemed like last year, all you had to do was crank out a quickie clone custom and you'd get a dozen replies. But spend hours and hours on a photonovel and you're lucky if you crack double-digits.
I don't want to denigrate anyone's great custom work, but I just wish that, both on JD and RS, that we could somehow revitalize and re-energize the fan base so that these stories not only get big audiences but get some feedback.
As a once and (hopefully) future photnovelist myself, I have had many frustrating days when I've worked my ass off on something only to get a minimal response.
The general slowness of the forums lately has been one of the reasons why I haven't been eager to resume my stories. I worry about spending literally four, five or six hours on a single chapter if I'm only going to get three or four replies.
Unfortunately, I don't know what the solution is. The last year has really been a "golden age" for photonovels, with many wonderful and talented people getting into the act. There are some really amazing stories being made out there and, at least for a while, there seemed to be the audience to go along with them. It's why RS eventually created its own forum (following in JD's footsteps, which made the sub-forum here.)
i've tried to be a cheerleader for photonovels for a while now (though admittedly I've been lacking in at least the past few months) and I just wish there was more interest, more discussion and a greater awareness and appreciation of the art form from these forums.
A story as cool as this deserves 50 or a 100 comments, not just five or six. Like I said, I don't have any answers, but it frustrates me to no end to see our uber-talented photonovelists get so little love from the general public.
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I am a little dismayed over the fact that there are so many good photonovels here and at RS that seem to get very little feedback.........
Wow, good words, Quazar. But I think we should post this in another PN Discussion thread instead of here. I wouldn't want to detract from FLACKS' thread by beginning this interesting conversation here.
I'll post my comments from RS to return to subject:
Outstanding, FLACKS!!!
A serious Photonovel from the Jester of RS PNs??
A very creative inventive plot you created here. Never would have occured to me to create a Jail facility on Coruscant. Great customs (you've crossed over to the dark side!) and great use of those orange jumpsuits. Those look permanent, since they seemed to be stitched on.
The dialgue really bring the story to life. Your pics are sharp and clear, and the framing of each pic is perfect. But the dialogue really adds to the pics and is a perfect compliment. The personalities of Dozier, Hollis, the Clones, and the inmates is very distinct. Dozier seems like a bad-a$$, and Hollis and the Clones are like "deer in headlights". And the inmates seem to have their own personality and story to tell. Great story-telling with the narratives between the pics and dialogue.
I hope this isn't the only story you tell in the Annex. I say that b/c of the last part being called the "Epilogue". If so, then I really look forward to the next story. If not, then what are you thinking?!?!? Create more stories, FLACKS!!!
BRAVO!!!
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^You're absolutely right, LONGHORN. I didn't mean to derail Flacksguy's awesome PN thread.
This is just latest in a disturbing trend. A truly awesome story with so little traffic.
But, to reiterate, this is an EXTREMELY original and fantastically entertaining effort.
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Quazar, why don't you make a new thread for the PN discussion? I'd like to delve into that topic.
I like the premise of the Annex story, and I think Annex has potential to be a really interesting series. This story sort of felt like a pilot episode, I hope there's more... because I'm looking forward to seeing what direction this goes, because as far as I know, nobody has ever done anything in a setting like this.
The epilogue fell flat, though.
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Wow, thanks for the responses. Sorry I have been unable to reply until now, but I moved into a new house on Tuesday and have been without internet access, and only have limited access now.
Quazar - really appreciate the indepth reply, glad you liked it as much as you did. I completely understand where you're coming from regarding the traffic issue, and will address that in the other thread.
The entire idea came from my own experiences as a Correctional Officer, everything from the story, to the dialogue, to the characters is modeled after real life events.
I'm glad people seem to like Sgt. Dozier specifically, because that is an accurate portrayal of the real Sgt. Dozier. A tough as nails, no nonsense, by the book, type officer, who was a huge role model for me when I was new.
The jumpsuits......well, it wasn't that they were hard,
just time consuming. I think I made 23, and it took about 20 mins to do each one.
Again, thanks for taking the time to write up such a long response, very much appreciated.
Longhorn - Thanks again for the comments, I appreciate the fact that your always on the lookout for my PN's, no matter how far between they are. :)
Ewok - Thanks for checking it out, and for your advice that first night ;)
I agree about the Epilogue, I wasn't very happy with the very last line.
The end of a shift is usually kind of uneventful, and I wanted to portray that, but I was looking for one last profound comment from Hollis there at the end, but I just couldn't come up with anything.
One thing I wanted to mention while I'm thinking of it,
no one brought up the use of the Death Star Gunners, which were a VERY, VERY last minute substitution. I mean VERY last minute. I had already started taking pictures with Blue royal guards as the officers when I found my first DS Gunner and just absolutely had to switch. They couldn't have been more perfect for this PN. Even down to the chest armour, which were very much like the stab proof vests we really did have to wear.
Luckily they came out at just the right time.
Again, much thanks to everyone who has taked the time to check out my PN.
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Sorry if I sound like a broken record here...
Awesome PN! I especially liked your story and dialogue. Some PNs don't seem to have very thought-out stories, but yours really drew me in. Can't wait to see what happens next!
I'm glad you made the switch to DS gunners for your guards. The chest armour and jumpsuit looks a lot like riot gear. Plus, they look tougher and less 'fancy' than a senate guard would have.
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Wow Flacks, I thought I commented on this already. Anyway, this truly is a masterpiece. I love the customs, espically the inmates oranges jumpsuits, and the Custom DS Gunners. You wouldn't happen to have the heads left over, would you? I really love the character develompent, espically of dozier. Some great dios you built too.
I also think that you did a great job of creating some great conversations, so that, even if there's not an action scene going on, the intrest and excitment stays way up. For a first(I think) foray into the dramatic side of photonovels, you really are doing amazingly well. Great Job!
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Wow, Flacksguy! I had no idea you worked (are still woring?) as a correctional officer. I can't imagine how difficult a job that must be.
Your story really does have the ring of authenticity to it, it's thoughtfully written, believable and dramatic.
Please continue this story, as this was anexcellent set-up, but I'd very much love to see more!
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Combat Chuck - Thanks for checking it out, don't worry about sounding like a broken record, I could read posts like yours all day. ;D
I was actually going to take the capes off the Senate Guards and use them that way, but once I got my hands on a DS Gunner, it was a no-brainer. They couldn't have been more perfect.
CloneCommander Thanks for the great comments. As far as the heads go, I put the VOTC Han and Luke heads back on the figures they belong on, and I put the other DS gunner heads back on the Gunner figures for now.
I may display a Gunner with the Dozier head though.
Interesting story about the dios, I'm glad you mentioned them. They are the reason I finally got this PN done in the first place.
I probably had the idea for this story floating around in my head since last year, but I knew creating some sort of environment that looked like a jail would take alot of time and effort. I've never built any kind of dio before, so I had no idea where to even begin. I just kept putting it off, until I got a new Barbeque Grill for Father's Day. The grill came packed with unusually shaped styrafoam pieces. Right away I knew I had my jail.
I just painted the pieces grey, and kept switching them around to give the illusion of different areas of the building.
Quazar- Lucky for me I do not work there anymore, I stay home with my two kids full time now. Not even sure I will go back when they are in school full time, I may do something completely different. It was pretty difficult, and quite scary in the beginning, but after your first year, it's not so bad.
Thanks again for the feedback, I appreciate it.
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See, what I tell ya, FLACKS?!?!?!
JD has a good collection of PN readers. They always like original , new stories! No surprise that your story has gotten a bigger reaction over here versus RS.
See?? What I tell ya?!?! What I tell ya?!?!
Oh, and I liked your PN too! ;D
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My computer finally forgot my password on RS, dang they don't like PNs still do they. :-X
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This was really good story and shots! Good job1
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all i gotta say is you had me at Warning.
its nice to see a pn with balls.
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what ever happened to this story Flax
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Whoops, Haven't checked on this in a while.
Thanks for the comments Deanna Rash, Darth Depressis & Smartypants1635
Glad you all liked it. I'll probably try and get this entered in the contest, along with a funny one I did back in Jan.
Thanks again.