Be Gone With Ye! The Simpsons

[Scott]

No...not these:



These:



From Their Dad:

"Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!"

As for Ashlee, Joe saved her from a fate worse than death: playing a lesbian in her debut film, Wannabe.

"I changed it," Simpson says. "It doesn't work for her to be gay the first thing out. She said, 'But it's cool, it's edgy, it's different,' and, of course, the filmmakers were like, 'It's cool for a woman to be a lesbian,' and I'm like, 'That's true, but not her first role.' She's going to be a huge movie star. She's like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth. When we're done, she'll play it all."

OK, this does it...I've officially had my fill of this family of morons.  You can only ogle someone so much, go away, and don't come back!

I'll be focusing on Anna Nicole myself from now on:

[C]

that's incredibly disgusting coming from their father. "You can't cover those suckers up!" that's some out-of-line **** right there.

[Darth Paul]

The Apocalypse for Western Society is now closer

[Scott]

Hey! Look at my daughter's giant breasts!  I do!

[Ben]

How did they ever get so popular anyway? No talent, they aren't good looking (well, Jessica's boobs are) and they're stupid.

I just don't get it.

[hansolo_506]

My wife and daughter saw Jessica before she was famous.  She was the opening act for N*Sync (hubby's former group).  My wife said Jessica was one of the best young singers she had ever heard in a concert situation.

FAST FORWARD TO NOW:::::

I think one of these days Jessica will kill the people who told her to "play up" the dumb blonde persona...

As for Ashlee... she should stick to giving country line dance lessons down at Gilly's.  The minute she steps off her sister's coat tails, she will be left in the dust.

[Morgbug]

As the father of a daughter, that's fairly disturbing.  Yes, it is only an ackowledgement of a fact, but did discretion die when Walmart took over?  Zoiks.

[Jesse James]

Yeah, her dad talking about her cans is a bit much... 

And his other daughter, the one nobody can recall her name, has more depth than Meg Ryan?  Now I'm not Meg Ryan fanatic...  But this is the girl who impromptu ho-downed on SNL when her lip-sync tape went arry...  And she's got depth?

You can only blame the girls so much before someone needs to realize that you have to put a gun to that man's head to truly end this cycle of madness.

I was listening to Stern before the holidays (they did a holiday special mocking the Nick & Jessica special), and an old intern for their show actually worked on the N&J special as a writer...  he was saying how the dad kept nixing all these ideas he had because he runs everything in their lives.

Too sad, and funny.

Anna Nicole, depending on which hemisphere you're in, you just can't help but notice sometimes.

[hansolo_506]

Actually, if you can look past the "drugged up ditz" factor.. in some ways (after Trim SPA), ANS is easier on the eyes than Ashlee...

[Ben]

Oh man, I bet ANS is a great swimmer.

Jessica too.

Jessica Simpson kinda looks like a girl I dated, and she was just as stupid. Same size boobs too (I checked.)  Must be a blonde thing.

[Morgbug]

Oh man, I bet ANS is a great swimmer.

Jessica too.

Jessica Simpson kinda looks like a girl I dated, and she was just as stupid. Same size boobs too (I checked.)  Must be a blonde thing.

Got any pictures

As for Anna, she was hot back in Playboy, but those personal flotation devices are fairly obscene now.  Add in the dumb and she does nothing for me.  Since Meg Ryan was mentioned, I'd dare to suggest she's hotter and smarter than both of the boobsy twins. 

[hansolo_506]

Ask and ye shall recieve:

[Morgbug]

Those are fine, thanks, but I was asking about Ben's ex

[Jesse James]

Anna's got that older hot thing going, when thinner (She's still meaty), and Jessica has that "she'd be easy to trick into doing something someone else wouldn't be easy to trick into" thing, and she's naturallly hot.

I dig Anna too, but thoughts of her being the fat pig she was will always loom.  When one plays Marry/F/Kill, you have to think that Anna would make the F list because she'd be likely to balloon...  Jessica gotta have more money too.

Who's on the kill list on that one?    Meg Ryan?

[Ben]

Those are fine, thanks, but I was asking about Ben's ex

I've got some, but none on my computer. 

My apologies. She had a bigger nose, but those cans made me wild.