Jeez, I'm about as shyster as they come, and I wouldn't touch this case with a ten foot pole.

Adam Loewy, the plaintiffs' attorney, is a real estate and corporate attorney who dabbles in a little bit of bankruptcy.  He's no "trial lawyer," as we're called by the media.  My guess is he's doing this case strictly for the PR.

I'd love to get a copy of that complaint to see what theories are alleged.  But according to Loewy, the web site is being sued for its "failure to protect her online when they knew sexual predators were on that site."

Let's break it down:

When distilled, there are only so many reasons you can sue--they're called "causes of action."  If you don't have a cause of action, a court can't grant you relief, and the other side is entitled to dismissal of the case.

Unless there's some sort of statutory cause of action with which I'm unfamiliar, these plaintiffs have no cause of action.

To state a claim in tort, you (generally) either have to have an intentional tort (which the girl undeniably has against the perpetrator), or negligence.  To establish negligence, you have to show 1) the existence of a duty of care; 2) the defendant breached the duty; 3) the defendant's breach proximately caused the plaintiff's injuries; and 4) damages.

She isn't even close to being able to show the existence of a duty--MySpace does not, and indeed, cannot, owe its users a duty of care "to protect [users] online when [MySpace] knew sexual predators were on that site."

(Sidenote: that obviously presupposes MySpace knew, or should have known, that sexual predators were on the site.  It's a long shot, but I can see why a lawyer would at least attempt to make that argument).

Even if it did owe such a duty, it's obligation to reasonably perform that duty goes away the instant the user voluntarily enters false information in accessing the site and its contents.

Furthermore, even if MySpace did owe such a duty, it has no duty to affirmatively protect the users from voluntarily meeting each other out in the real world.  What the claim amounts to is that if MySpace is going to run the way it runs, it should appoint a full-time babysitter to each user to monitor their offline behavior.

Ridiculous.

I suppose there are other theories out there, but I have a tough time conjuring them up.  For instance, MySpace's user agreement does not include a contractual obligation to protect its users from online predators, much less the actions of online predators with whom users voluntarily choose to meet up with in the real world.  Thus, there's no claim in contract, i.e., no cause of action.

Even if you can establish a cause of action, i.e., state a claim for which relief can be granted, there are so many defenses to this (subsequent intervening cause; failure to join an indespensible party (the molestor), etc.), it's not even funny.

This lawyer's capitalizing on his clients because he doesn't want to shell out for Yellow Pages ads.

My favorite whole album is either Animals or Wish You Were Here, but my favorite song is Sex Dwarf.

Wait, that's my favorite Soft Cell song.

My favorite Pink Floyd song is The Gunner's Dream.  It's a little maudlin, but it still makes me bawl every time I hear it.

Floating Down
Through the Clouds
Memories come rushing
Up to meet me now

But in the space between the heavens
and the corner of some foreign field
I had a dream...
I had a dream

Goodbye Max,
Goodbye Ma
After the service
When you're walking slowly to the car

And the silver in her hair
Shines in the cold November air
You'll hear the tolling bell
And touch the silk in your lapel

And as the teardrops rise
to meet the comfort of the band

You take her frail hand...

And hold on to the dream

(kickass sax solo...yes I said ******* sax solo)

A place to stay
Enough to eat
Somewhere old heroes shuffle safely down the street

Where you can speak out loud
About your doubts and fears
And what's more

No one ever disappears,
You never hear their standard issues kicking in your door

You can relax
On both sides of the tracks
And maniacs
Don't blow holes
In bandsmen by remote control
And everyone has recourse to the law

And no one kills the children anymore.

No one kills the children anymore.

Night after night,
Going 'round and 'round my brain
This dream is driving me insane

In the corner of some foreign field
The gunner sleeps tonight
What's done is done

We cannot just write off his final scene
Take heed of the dream

Take heed.

What the hell is your malfunction?

Uncle Owwenn!  This Deanpaul unit has a bad motivator.

Blade Runner Soundtrack - Esper Edition

What's the Esper Edition?  I've got both the orchestral rip-off type version that originally came out, plus the official Vangelis release that came out ten years ago or so, but I've never heard o' this....what is it?

Buddy, that sucks.  I'd like to say it will take time, but my guess is you'll never really get over it.  Just cherish your daughter, and then get your hot ass to Utah for some Sprry75 lovin'.

Mrs. Sprry75 isn't violent; in fact, she'll probably be running the camera.

Wow, that's some pretty heavy stuff.

In high school, I scammed with my best friend's girl.  That sucked.  Well, I mean, my best friend's girlfriend was totally hot, and it was nice while it was going on, but the repurcussions totally sucked..

In addition to coming out as a high school accessory to cheating and fagging it up with Force Guy, I may as well travel to the very end of the limb and say that I think that the taboo of infidelity makes it interesting, if not intoxicating.  The allure of the forbidden has to be what draws so many people into the snare.

Don't get me wrong; it's clearly a rotten, rotten thing.  Probably the most rotten thing imaginable.  That's what makes it so interesting.

Thinking of it in terms of sheer intensity and passion, I guess I am somewhat infatuated with the dynamics of infidelity and it triggering the "ground zero" of human emotion.  Everthing from the cuckolds that sign up for those wife-swapping videos to the bitterness of betrayal and the suicidal tendencies of those wounded by the act....

I am interested in how one kind of action can produce such a range of emotional responses, and the ways those responses transform interpersonal relationships.

It's powerful stuff, to be sure.