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Community => Watto's Junk Yard => Topic started by: Scott on December 3, 2003, 12:07 PM

Title: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 3, 2003, 12:07 PM
The local oldies station plays Christmas music 24-7 from right before Thanksgiving until New Year's.  A guy in our office insists that the station be played 8-5 (8 hours 5 days a week)...this week alone I have heard such classics as Feliz Navidad one too many times but my all time teeth grinders are:

Barbara Striesand Christmas Carols of any kind (can someone explain that to me???)

The Snoopy/Red Baron Song...

The news had come out in the First World War
The bloody Red Baron was flying once more
The Allied command ignored all of its men
And called on Snoopy to do it again.

Twas the night before Christmas, 40 below
When Snoopy went up in search of his foe
He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought
With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ring out from the land
Asking peace of all the world
And good will to man

The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights
He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight
Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know
Or was it the bells from the village below.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man

The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine
And forced him to land behind the enemy lines
Snoopy was certain that this was the end
When the Baron cried out, "Merry Christmas, my friend"

The Baron then offered a holiday toast
And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host
And then with a roar they were both on their way
Each knowing they'd meet on some other day.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Mikey D on December 3, 2003, 12:18 PM
Funny you should bring this up, Scott.  I went shopping last Saturday and came home to the wife listening to our oldies station playing holiday songs.  Now I'm as festive as the next guy, but I wanted to slit my wrists after listening to about ten minutes of that crap.  That Snoopy song was one of them.  It was the first time I heard it and hated it.  Another one was one about a donkey or some ****, I don't know, I was trying to block it out.

I do, however, like Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 3, 2003, 12:20 PM
I do, however, like Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

I hate Springsteen and I hate that song even worse...AGGGGGH Thanks Mikey now it is my head.  They should have Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce and Dylan do a duet and rerelease it...It's Gold Jerry, Gold!
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Mikey D on December 3, 2003, 12:27 PM
"Merry Christmas, baby"  :-*
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Matt on December 3, 2003, 12:32 PM
I've always had issues with "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

Yeah, I know.

"But it's funny!"

Yeah, funny if you're a dumb-ass with no taste.

 
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: DSJ™ on December 3, 2003, 12:41 PM
Hmmm! Christmas songs. They have been playing them on the oldies station up here for the past 2 weeks.   :-\

Here's a list of the Top 101 Christmas Songs of All Time!

Top 101 Christmas Songs of All Time Clicky! (http://www.webfitz.com/lyrics/xmas.html)

Snoopy's Christmas is #7   ::)

Though I prefer this to listen to this classic.   ;D

REN & STIMPY'S
Crock O' Christmas

1. Fleck The Walls
2. Cat Hairballs
3. We Wish You A Hairy Chestwig
4. It's A Wizzleteats Kind Of Christmas
5. We're Going Shopping
6. Yak Shaving Day
7. What Is Christmas?
8. Cobb To The World
9. Happy Holiday Hop
10. I Hate Christmas
11. The Twelve Days Of Yaksmas
12. Decorate Yourself

(http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drd900/d955/d95532m59me.jpg)

And not to mention The 12 Days of Christmas by the Mackenzie Brothers!
Take off eh!  :-*

Title: Christmas songs I like...
Post by: jadesfire on December 3, 2003, 12:55 PM

And not to mention The 12 Days of Christmas by the Mackenzie Brothers!
Take off eh!  :-*

A true Yooper/Canuck song if I've ever heard one!!  


Funny this came up, I just picked up Hilary Duff's Christmas cd, not too bad.  The best one (behind Bing of course) is Lorrie Morgan's Christmas.  I feel sorry for anyone pulled up beside my car at a red light when I am joining her in the grand finale  :-*.
I grew up with Bing and Frank so I really like the renditions of Christmas song's from my Mom's era the best.



PS:  Don't forget the classic "Rusty Chevrolet"  ;) :-X
Doesn't really suck, just an odd song.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Mikey D on December 3, 2003, 01:04 PM
Another one was one about a donkey or some ****, I don't know, I was trying to block it out.


#44 on Dale's list - Dominic, the Italian Christmas Donkey.  Sucks and blows at the same time.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 3, 2003, 01:07 PM
Bing and Nat King Cole rule the roost as far as Christmas goes in my house, I also really enjoy the Charlie Brown Christmas CD...some great Jazz on there
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: DSJ™ on December 3, 2003, 01:26 PM
In the spirit of the Canuck north:

The Twelve Days of Christmas! (http://www.losergeek.org/~niklas/bobanddoug.com/old/GreatWhiteNorth/Bob_and_Doug_McKenzie_-_15_-_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas.mp3)

Take Off To The Great White North! Beauty (http://www.losergeek.org/~niklas/bobanddoug.com/old/GreatWhiteNorth/Bob_and_Doug_McKenzie_-_07_-_Take_Off.mp3)   ;D
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: jokabofe on December 3, 2003, 07:26 PM
the only christmas album i own is the south park one. and it's great. other than that - i hate christmas music. H - A - T - E. there, now look what you did... made me go and use caps...  >:(
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: JediMAC on December 3, 2003, 07:47 PM
H - A - T - E. there, now look what you did... made me go and use caps...  >:(

 :o   :o   :o

We've got Christmas albums up the ying-yang at our place, and have them going nearly all of December to help enjoy the festive Holiday season.   8)

Nat King Cole and Johnny Mathis usually have top billing in our house.  Throw in some Bing, Frank, and Harry Connick Jr. and you've got a lot of our playlist.  Lot's of Christmas "Greatest Hits" types of compilations going as well!

My two favorite X-mas diddys are probably Little Drummer Boy and Do You Hear What I Hear.

Songs that suck?  Hmm...  Perhaps Feliz Navidad.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jedi Idej on December 3, 2003, 09:36 PM
The dogs barking Jingle Bells is annoying.

A couple of my favorites are Crosby and Bowie's Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy duet and the Muppets' 12 Days of Christmas.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 4, 2003, 12:11 AM
That song...  Oh how I hate that song.

If you worked retail ever, you know the song I mean...  It's played constantly, especially in Penneys it seems.

It goes sorta like this:

Happy Holidaaaaaayyysss...
(group) Happy Holidaaaaayyyysss...

Well whoopty doo, and dickery dock
And don't forget
to hang up your sock
cuz just exactly at twelve o'clock

He'll be comin' down the chimney down
(Group) He'll be comin' down the chimney down

It's something like that...  I don't know its name, I don't know who sings it, and I don't ever want to hear it again but I know when I start shopping for the hoidays I'll hear it over and over and over, and I will simply want to vomit after about an hour in the mall.

I actually kinda liked the snoopy song, but only because I liked it as a kid.  

I also like "I am Santa Claus" to the tune of Iron Man.  It always makes me feel festive.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 4, 2003, 12:17 AM
Ooooh...that is Andy Williams.  

See we have another problem at the Office.  We have four Christmas CD's...two of which are Andy Williams (one which "co-stars" the sucky Osmonds)  Those are banned from being played until the week of Christmas...HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 4, 2003, 12:21 AM
Thought of another horrible horrible song

Silent Night sung by the vocal phenom Stevie Nicks

Listen for yourself Here (Real) (http://boss.streamos.com/real/interscope/veryspecial/veryspecial5/audio/00_silentnight.ram) or Here (Windows) (http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/interscope/veryspecial/veryspecial5/audio/28_silentnight.asx)

I wish it WAS a Silent Night if you were going to sing Stevie
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: HWR on December 4, 2003, 02:33 AM
Good morning.

A Christmas song tnat realy scucks is: Wham - Last Christmas

A cool Christmas song is: Spinal Tap - Christmas with the Devil.

There is nothing satanic about the song, just pure Spinal Tap humor.

-Henrik
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: jokabofe on December 4, 2003, 10:36 AM
That song...  Oh how I hate that song.

If you worked retail ever, you know the song I mean...  It's played constantly, especially in Penneys it seems.

that's exactly the problem i have... i work in retail, and from the monday before thanksgiving until the 2nd week of january  :o we have to listen to xmas music, non stop. all day. 12 hours. 7 days a week. argh....

that's why i forbid xmas music to be played in my house. if my mom comes over, she always tries to bring her cd's with her, but i always tell her that i'll allow her to play one after we listen to south park xmas... which she hates, so we don't listen to xmas music in my house  :)

and i guess you can say i also like trans siberian orchestra, i do have 2 cd's by them, but that's it. no more...
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: JediMAC on December 4, 2003, 07:56 PM
and i guess you can say i also like trans siberian orchestra, i do have 2 cd's by them, but that's it. no more...

I have those TSO CDs as well.  Awesome stuff!  Christmas songs, with an edge...   8)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Darth Kenobi on December 5, 2003, 10:34 AM
One song that i can't stand are the animals signing christmas songs (cats and dogs).  
I usually work at a grocery store an have top listen to christmas songs throughout the month of December but this year we haven't had to hear the songs that they been playing since we are outside of the store without any speakers.  
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Ben on December 7, 2003, 02:42 AM
Ugh. I had to listen to the local country station while I took my grandmother Christmas shopping last week. (She doesn't drive.) Anyway, I was bashing my head into the steering wheel suffering these twits 'singing' Christmas songs. I felt so goddamn festive I could have puked.

It gets worse--my parents are giving my grandmother tix to a George Strait concert. It's in January, in Ames, IA. Guess who gets to take her there? Poor twisted me. Good god, mercy.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Force Guy on December 7, 2003, 03:31 AM
I've always had issues with "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

Yeah, I know.

"But it's funny!"

Yeah, funny if you're a dumb-ass with no taste.

 

I completely agree with you.  Hands down, that is THE dumbest Christmas song ever.    
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: sp00ky on December 7, 2003, 10:52 AM
You know between my wife and I we must have "heard" that song hundreds of times over the years, but we actually "listened" to it for the first time the other day.

WTF - they kill Grandma!  They actually kill a Grandmother in a Christmas song!

What kind of drunken fools write a song like that, even worse radio stations actually play the thing!

For songs I hate.. any Christmas song, once great, now butchered by either a country "singer", pop "star", or rap "artist"

Sinatra, Crosby and that genre.. now that is Christmas music!

Scott :)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 18, 2003, 09:48 AM
Cartoon Network has been playing Holiday Specials of years gone by every night for a while now, saw part of this the other night.  And then I thought Virex may be interested in adding this to his DVD collection

(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005MEPA.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)

It was worse than the song itself if you can believe that
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Matt on December 18, 2003, 01:24 PM
(http://www.fast-rewind.com/ferris2.jpg)

Dead grandmother?
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: JoshEEE on December 18, 2003, 10:59 PM
I have the hands down winner:

Kirstie Alley singing "Santa Baby" in that STUPID STUPID TV commercial they play every few minutes during sitcoms.

(http://images.usatoday.com/money/index/_photos/2002-04-08-ad-track-pier.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 18, 2003, 11:44 PM
How about the dog barking Jingle Bells...sort of cute the first time...mind numbingly horrible the second
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Matt on December 18, 2003, 11:46 PM
I have the hands down winner:

Kirstie Alley singing "Santa Baby" in that STUPID STUPID TV commercial they play every few minutes during sitcoms.

(http://images.usatoday.com/money/index/_photos/2002-04-08-ad-track-pier.jpg)

I still have a minor thing for Kirstie Alley.   :-\  
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 18, 2003, 11:48 PM
Cheers Kirstie Alley or Pier One Kirstie Alley???
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Matt on December 18, 2003, 11:50 PM
Cheers Kirstie Alley or Pier One Kirstie Alley???

Neither.

Look Who's Talking Kirstie Alley.   :o
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: JoshEEE on December 19, 2003, 01:13 PM
I can deal with that (Look who's talking Kirstie Alley wasn't nearly as bad as her current persona)....but Pier 1 Kirstie Alley just needs to stop...stop...STOP making commercials.

Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 22, 2003, 03:08 PM
[darthbigboy]Endless Christmas carols irk Czech clerks (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=8&u=/ap/20031222/ap_on_re_eu/czech_christmas_carols_1)[/darthbigboy]
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Matt on December 22, 2003, 05:39 PM
[darthbigboy]Endless Christmas carols irk Czech clerks (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=8&u=/ap/20031222/ap_on_re_eu/czech_christmas_carols_1)[/darthbigboy]

LOL!  Oh dear.

Where's the dumb-ass, "found this on Bloody Disgusting" part?
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on November 19, 2004, 10:45 AM
Oh good God, the Oldies station has started already!

Someone shoot me, shoot me now.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Famine on November 19, 2004, 12:01 PM
Oh good God, the Oldies station has started already!
Someone shoot me, shoot me now.


Same here man. :(It's not even freakin' Turkeyday!

Kevin
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Morgbug on November 19, 2004, 01:16 PM
Retail outlets up here start on November 1st, without fail.  Have been doing so since at least 1979.  It's terribly depressing for mall employees, something that I thankfully no longer am. 

I think I heard one by SUM41 yesterday that was mocking the whole commercial aspect.  Not sure if it was they, but it had some appeal due to the mocking tone, even though it sounded thoroughly Christmas-y. 

I never bothered digging up the other thread, but I first saw Christmas items on display this year the third week in September :'(
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on November 19, 2004, 01:23 PM
You know...

Not meaning to make this a real religiousy thing but something really ticked me off yesterday.  We got the latest issue of Sesame Street Magazine at our house and we paged through it...

1 page on Hanukah and the meaning of the candles and stuff
1 page on Kwanzaa and the different symbols and meanings
4 pages on Christmas...nothing on its meaning, all Trees and Presents and Ice Skating

I'm OK with the commercial aspect of the holiday, I like giving and receiving gifts, the good cheer that goes with the holiday etc  But the fact the whole meaning of the holiday has been lost is a little disconcerting.  The fact the magazine didn't even mention it and it points out why people celebrate Kwanzaa and Hanukah ticked me off

The fact that the damn radio station plays these crap ass songs to the point where you literally want to vomit makes me ill, I am so sick of Christmas by the time Christmas gets here that I want it to end.  Is that sane?  The irony that the original meaning of the most important event of the world being replaced by the Capitalistic Orgasm of 12 weeks of shove it down your throat event of the century year after year is bizzare beyond belief
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Morgbug on November 19, 2004, 01:40 PM
Much debate up here about the meaning too, beyond the crass commercialism. 

Much along your lines, "Christmas" is no longer an acceptable term.  One area of the city that is quite popular and a tourist attraction has put up a "holiday" tree.  Not a Christmas tree, a holiday tree.  That bugs me.  Whether you believe in the original intent of Christmas (i.e. the religious meaning) that is what the holiday is.  If you don't want to honor the day for it's meaning, fine, go to work.  If you're taking it in lieu of Hanukah or Kwanzaa, fine.  But Christianity is not invalid simply because you don't believe in it anymore than than the converse. It is a Christmas tree.  There is no such thing as a Hanukah tree or a Kwanzaa tree.  Deal with it and don't disrespect the tradition.  That's called bigotry, it's just coming from a different direction. 

And before I get lambasted for being a bigot, please note that I have nothing negative to say about any other religion other than that if they wish to be respected for their views, they too should show respect to other religions.  I utterly despise bigotry, regardless of whether it is based on race, religion or gender.  It's not ok to bash African Americans, Muslims, or women.  Therefore it is not ok to bash Caucasians, Christians or men. 

It is ok to disagree with their views, but not to do so soley on the basis of bigotry. 

[/rant - something I am doing way, waaaaaay too much lately.  Vacation is two weeks away, I promise to be better then]

BTW, are we doing the secret Santa schtick again this year?  (speaking of the commercial aspect)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: JediMAC on November 19, 2004, 02:01 PM
BTW, are we doing the secret Santa schtick again this year?  (speaking of the commercial aspect)

Most definitely!  But I say unlike everywhere else on the freakin' planet (it seems), that we wait 'til after Thanksgiving to start up the Holiday/Kwanzaa/Hanakkuh/Santa/Christmas festivities...

As for the other stuff mentioned above, I tend to agree.  We can't even send out "Christmas" cards anymore, 'cause it's not politically correct around here now.  Has to be "Happy Holiday" cards.  Been that way for a number of years now.  We used to be able to just buy a few "Holiday" cards for our "non-Christmas" friends, but those days have been numbered.  Can't even say "Merry Christmas" to folks on the street anymore, without getting an ugly stare or slap in the face (OK, the latter was a bit of an exaggeration).

As for songs that suck, I dunno.  Maybe "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus".  That little shrieking kid always hurts my ears.  But in general, I usually enjoy most of the Christmas/Holiday music.  Except when I hear it before Thanksgiving, which pisses me off.

Quote
Oh good God, the Oldies station has started already!

No ****.  We had your Oldies station set in our rental car this week in Minnesota, and the last two days all the sudden became all Christmas music.  WTF?!   >:(

Minnesotans...   ::)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Famine on November 19, 2004, 03:16 PM
What the heck? I posted a whole rant about Christmas, made sure I posted it.

I sign off, come back on, GONE!

Kevin
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: JediMAC on November 19, 2004, 03:19 PM
 ???

Maybe it would work better if you actually clicked the "Post" button when you were done, Kev.


Either that, or your rant was so outta control that one of the mods removed it...  You didn't say anything bad about the baby Jesus, did you?   :P
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on November 19, 2004, 03:24 PM
I don't think it was removed, I never saw it posted

I think the "Forgot to Hit Post Button" the most likely scenario :)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Famine on November 19, 2004, 03:25 PM
 :-[

Probobly, but I was most certain I pushed post.

Oh well, maybe I'll grace you all with my wonderful holiday schedual some other time.

Kevin
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: SPIDERLEGS on November 19, 2004, 03:32 PM
I recorded a pretty bad xmas song once:

Xmas Eve of Destruction (http://www.mp3.com.au/track.asp?id=38398)

Ya can't have xmas without a dead hooker! ;)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on November 20, 2004, 02:45 AM
Welp,

I've already heard (twice) that god damned "Whoopty doo, and dickory dock" song at stores.  It's not even black Friday and that crap is already playing repeatedly.

Oh, and I despise that little bastard on the Old Navy commercial that says "They sure are festive".

I'd kick that child in the teeth I think.   >:(
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Bob Crane on November 20, 2004, 03:23 AM
Ironically, the only X-Mas song that doesn’t suck is “Christmas Sucks” by Pete Murphy & Tommy Waits… although I must admit; I’m partial to Jack Skellington’s repertoire as well.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 13, 2004, 02:52 PM
Can I nominate the following:

Everything redone by modern artists...this includes N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion, Destiny's Child etc etc

Stop playing that overproduced crapola ::)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Vator on December 13, 2004, 03:51 PM
I for one am sick of Christmas music! It's played everywhere now, including at school.
I am unfortunate enough sit right beside the sterio in my science class, meaning I've had it playing in my ear the whole time.
Worse yet, it's all the modern stuff! No instrumentals here, just synth pianos and guys singing like they've been castrated.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Ben on December 14, 2004, 12:32 AM
The only Christmas music I can tolerate anymore is stuff by Trans-Siberian Orchestra. The shredding guitar really helps.

My mom totally loves Mannheim Steamroller too. I went to my parent's house this weekend, and sure enough, it was playing. Christmas Eve will be worse-- she's got a five-disc CD player, and five Mannheim discs. Unfortunate coincidence.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: DSJ™ on December 14, 2004, 08:49 AM
Every radio station & the stores here are playing X-Mas music.  :-\
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 14, 2004, 12:53 PM
I've seen some folks list Snoopy Vs. Red Baron but I actually liked that song since I was little.  Never understood the lyrics till I actually sat and listened to it this year, but now I see how it pertains to X-mas...

It just took me forever to listen to it.

As a kid I just liked Snoopy flying around fighting someone... 

That "Whoopty Doo, and Dickory Dock" song still sucks, btw.  Absolutely friggin' terrible. 
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 15, 2004, 11:24 PM
Jesse, you have NO TASTE in Christmas music if you think Snoopy is any good.  Good Grief :)

Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 15, 2004, 11:46 PM
Dude, you just don't know the power of Snoopy...

It's his dreams man, his dreams...  He dreams of fighting the red baron...  But in his dreams, the Red Baron expresses a desire for peace and good will to man on X-Mas because that's the right thing...

You see, that's deep stuff.  Very deep.

"Merry Christmas Mine Friend!" to you Scott, and may this hatred of Snoopy X-Mas subside in your heart.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: DSJ™ on December 22, 2004, 02:23 PM
Sting: I Saw Three Ships. How many times do you have to say "On Christmas Day!".  Drives me  (http://www.cheesebuerger.net/images/smilie/frech/d055.gif)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 23, 2005, 09:24 AM
Not sure if anyone has either of the "Now That's What I Call Christmas" 2-Disc Compiliations, one is a classic and the other contemporary

The "Classic" discs are great, really great containing most of the gems of the Yule season.  The contemporary has some less than stellar renditions including my favorite Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce singing Santa Claus is Comin' To Town ::)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 23, 2005, 09:52 AM
A truly horrible song indeed Scott, and let me add this to the contemporary list of yule turds...

Can't think of what it's name is, but it's a song where this kid's buying his dying mother a pair of shoes.  First, I don't like songs that completely ruin Christmas happiness anyway.  It's a time to be happy, to enjoy life, not to depress yourself...  Second, it's so incredibly over the top.  They play it incessantly on the local station that's playing all X-Mas music right now and I hate this song...

I have NOT heard Snoopy Christmas yet this year and it's bugging me.  I love that song.  I've had to listen to my .mp3 of it but was hoping it'd be on the radio.  I know it's not a favorite and made this list but man I loves me some fighter pilot Snoopy.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Matt on December 5, 2006, 02:26 PM
let me add this to the contemporary list of yule turds...

Can't think of what it's name is, but it's a song where this kid's buying his dying mother a pair of shoes.  First, I don't like songs that completely ruin Christmas happiness anyway.  It's a time to be happy, to enjoy life, not to depress yourself...  Second, it's so incredibly over the top.  They play it incessantly on the local station that's playing all X-Mas music right now and I hate this song...

It's the imaginatively-titled "Christmas Shoes," (http://youtube.com/watch?v=6z1utu8G5Cw) and it's the very reason I'm bumping this thread.  I don't know what's worse:  the song itself, or all of the saps that fall all over themselves about it.













P.S. I still have a minor thing for Kirstie Alley (http://youtube.com/watch?v=w8cfRFn12FM).   :-\

Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Darth Slothus on December 5, 2006, 04:11 PM
I hate ALL Christmas songs anyway when they're on my local radio stations right now. I don't want seasonal garb. Sometimes I wish certain other religious groups would protest to the extent of outlawing this too..just so I didn't have to hear it anymore. Nothing worse than constantly flipping through channels to get some real good non-christmassy crap music :P. OK, well there are other worse things but I won't mention them here. Ba-humbug
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Diddly on December 5, 2006, 06:13 PM
Has anyone heard the Twisted Sister Christmas album? I hear it's good?
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Dressel Rebel on December 5, 2006, 10:04 PM
All of 'em.

They're okay on X-Mas Eve and Day though.  It stops there.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jedi_Master on December 6, 2006, 02:29 AM
My tastes in Christmas music run generally to the classical traditional carols.  The most-played album in our house this time of year is a collection of Christmas carols performed by the King's College Choir (in England).  Most of the carols date from the 17th centuries or earlier (like the Coventry Carol, the Holly and the Ivy, The Carol of the Bells,  Hark the Herald Angels Sing, etc.) I also like some of the modern standards like Sleigh Ride, and some new, obscure ones like Kathy Matea's "Mary Did You Know.." and Carly Simon's "The Night Before Christmas."   I agree with a lot of the stuff people here hate.  Especially the sillier stuff that gets way overplayed.   Most of my stuff is made for peaceful evenings and candlelight. 
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 4, 2012, 12:38 AM
I do, however, like Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

I hate Springsteen and I hate that song even worse...AGGGGGH Thanks Mikey now it is my head.  They should have Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce and Dylan do a duet and rerelease it...It's Gold Jerry, Gold!
I really have come to despise Springsteens warbly off tune Santa Claus is Coming to Town.   Snoopy/Red Baron song is still the worst
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scott on December 4, 2012, 12:42 AM
That song...  Oh how I hate that song.

If you worked retail ever, you know the song I mean...  It's played constantly, especially in Penneys it seems.

It goes sorta like this:

Happy Holidaaaaaayyysss...
(group) Happy Holidaaaaayyyysss...

Well whoopty doo, and dickery dock
And don't forget
to hang up your sock
cuz just exactly at twelve o'clock

He'll be comin' down the chimney down
(Group) He'll be comin' down the chimney down

It's something like that...  I don't know its name, I don't know who sings it, and I don't ever want to hear it again but I know when I start shopping for the hoidays I'll hear it over and over and over, and I will simply want to vomit after about an hour in the mall.

I actually kinda liked the snoopy song, but only because I liked it as a kid. 

I also like "I am Santa Claus" to the tune of Iron Man.  It always makes me feel festive.
Things that stick with you about people...to this day I remember that Jesse hates Andy Williams
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 4, 2012, 01:50 AM
Was on my way to a banquet tonight and this was on...  I play the holiday music channel at this point and refuse to change it.  I endured this and heard nothing good on the way to the banquet hall. :(

I've heard Snoopy 5 times though this year!  That's a good year.  I know you hate Snoopy, but I love it and can hear it again and again.  That and Bing/Bowie.  Love Bing/Bowie.

I'm not a fan of the Springsteen either.  It sounds like it's live sort of, but then it sounds like it's fake live...  I don't get it.  Love Springsteen, but hate that.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scockery on December 4, 2012, 08:12 AM
I dislike Xmas at this point in my life and most Xmas music in general. But anything Jingle Cats. The novelty wears off after 2 songs and then I never want to hear it again.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: efranks on December 4, 2012, 09:48 AM
If I never heard Christmas music again I'd be happy.  I don't hate the holiday, but no other music is as insidious.

   E...
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: McMetal on December 4, 2012, 10:03 AM
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Christmas music, and like Jesse my radio dial does not stray from the holiday music station until 12/26.

I can literally talk about this all day. My thing is, I like the classics, pretty much anything from the 40's to the 60's. I want the Rat Pack, Tony Bennet, Nat King Cole, Andy Williams, etc. LOVE that stuff.

What I hate? NEW CHRISTMAS SONGS!!! They almost ALL suck. They're either insipid covers of tunes performed MUCH better by older performers (Michael Buble cannot do Burl Ives, sorry) or silly pop songs disguised as holiday fare (if I hear that gd Mariah Carey song again I am going to vomit).

I also hate Christmas songs that are downers, John Lennon I am looking at you. "war" and "fear" and two words you can leave out of my holiday celebartions, thank you. And that stupid we are the world song or whatever whining about how "there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas." Guess what? There won't be snow here in Virginia either!

I don't mind the Springsteen one so much, although I am always annoyed when he starts laughing near the end of the song,  I assume when Clarence starts capering in his jolly Santa suit. Meh.

My favorite Christmas song, bar none, is the one I NEVER get to hear but maybe once a year: "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." Man, that thing is dope! :)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: BillCable on December 4, 2012, 11:11 AM
U2's cover of Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) is by far my favorite Christmas song and among my favorite songs overall.  Otherwise I'll flip to the station while driving until they get to one of the slow, Church hymn type songs.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 4, 2012, 10:43 PM
Sad Christmas songs make me laugh too, but I find the John Lennon/Yoko (and I hate her) song to be good... the message is sound for the time of year and all.

The Africa one...  hah!  I forgot that, and yes it's attrocious.  "Thank God tonight it's them, instead of you".  There's a message.

I'll add in the song about some guy seeing some old flame...  That song, good god.  It makes you wanna hang yourself.  It also, for some reason, makes me think the guy singing it looks like the guy that sang I Like Pina Coladas.  I don't know why, I just picture a guy with a molester stache from the 70's.

It's a song that seems to focus on New Year's so I don't usually hear that one till after Christmas is over but it's a depressing one. 

Oh, and the kid getting his mother shoes so she can die.  Holy ****.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: I Am Sith on December 4, 2012, 11:20 PM
I absolutely can't stand the Pointer Sisters version of Santa Clause is Coming to Town from the first Very Special Christmas disk.  My ears bleed every time I hear it.  Worst part is my wife likes it, so I'm swabbing my ears several times a year...

*edit*

I also have to add the Patti Smith version of We Three Kings from the third VSC disk.  Makes me want to slit my wrists every time I hear it.  How can you make such a ****** song and put it on the same disk that has Chris Cornell singing Ave Maria (which is one of the best versions I've ever heard)?!
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 5, 2012, 01:18 AM
I know Mariah's taken some flak in here, but, and not to turn this into another always popular thread in here, but...

(http://cdn02.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/carey-tree/mariah-carey-rockefeller-center-tree-lighting-performance-02.jpg)

(http://cdn03.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/carey-tree/mariah-carey-rockefeller-center-tree-lighting-performance-11.jpg)

yeah...

She can sing that Andy Williams tune aaaalllllll day.  Or whatever she wants.  And I'm asking for two big soft pillows for Christmas.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Qui-Gon Jim on December 5, 2012, 07:52 AM
Don't know what it is about this picture, but I think she looks hot here:
(http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/500/79054231/Merry+Christmas.png)
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: McMetal on December 5, 2012, 09:34 AM
I'll add in the song about some guy seeing some old flame...  That song, good god.  It makes you wanna hang yourself.  It also, for some reason, makes me think the guy singing it looks like the guy that sang I Like Pina Coladas.  I don't know why, I just picture a guy with a molester stache from the 70's.

It's a song that seems to focus on New Year's so I don't usually hear that one till after Christmas is over but it's a depressing one. 

Oh, and the kid getting his mother shoes so she can die.  Holy ****.

Dude, you took the words right out of my mouth!

That New Year's song is "Same Old Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg and god that is depressing. Drinking beer in the car with your old girlfriend who is now married to someone else before walking home in the rain? YEP, FILLS ME WITH HOLIDAY CHEER! And yes, he looks pretty much exactly as you would picture him...sort of a Kenny Loggins type.

"Christmas Shoes" is just outright BRUTAL. What kind of sadistic ****** even dreams up something like that? Your Mom is dying at Christmas?!?! And why is the kid described as "dirty"? Like poor people can't afford soap and water? That's a slap in the face right there.

The only thing that rivals that is that horrific spoken word piece "A Soldier's Silent Night" or whatever it is called about Santa sneaking into some veteran's squalid apartment and finds him huddled under a sheet on the floor or some god-awful depressing image like that. The thing that kills me is that it's sort of supposed to be a loving tribute to the men and women who so proudly served our country but it just comes off as a demeaning, ugly portrait of veterans as being ruined, friendless mutants totally unable to cope in society after discharge.

I shudder whenever I hear that, which thankfully is not often.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jeff on December 5, 2012, 10:00 AM
Oh, and the kid getting his mother shoes so she can die.

Your Mom is dying at Christmas?!?! And why is the kid described as "dirty"? Like poor people can't afford soap and water? That's a slap in the face right there.

All my female relative love that song... and I love to get them all riled up by explaining to them how it wasn't some act of kindness, it was totally a guy getting scammed by a kid.  The little kid probably went right back in the store, returned the shoes and hit the corner to buy a dimebag.  The little kid might as well have told that sucker that he was a Nigerian prince who would help the guy get half his fortune while he was at it...

So yeah, next time that song comes on, try imagining that the little kid is totally a scam artist or pickpocket who's working the singer like a rube for a $20 to buy weed.  You'll totally gain a new appreciation for the song...
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Scockery on December 5, 2012, 03:12 PM
Thos Mariah pictures remind me of the classic XMas song AC/DC's "I want a mistress for Christmas"

Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Jesse James on December 5, 2012, 04:31 PM
All my female relative love that song... and I love to get them all riled up by explaining to them how it wasn't some act of kindness, it was totally a guy getting scammed by a kid.  The little kid probably went right back in the store, returned the shoes and hit the corner to buy a dimebag.  The little kid might as well have told that sucker that he was a Nigerian prince who would help the guy get half his fortune while he was at it...

So yeah, next time that song comes on, try imagining that the little kid is totally a scam artist or pickpocket who's working the singer like a rube for a $20 to buy weed.  You'll totally gain a new appreciation for the song...

I lol'd.

Nothing like raising hell at Christmas with your family just for fun.
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: Paul on December 6, 2012, 07:49 AM
Oh, and the kid getting his mother shoes so she can die.

Your Mom is dying at Christmas?!?! And why is the kid described as "dirty"? Like poor people can't afford soap and water? That's a slap in the face right there.

All my female relative love that song... and I love to get them all riled up by explaining to them how it wasn't some act of kindness, it was totally a guy getting scammed by a kid.  The little kid probably went right back in the store, returned the shoes and hit the corner to buy a dimebag.  The little kid might as well have told that sucker that he was a Nigerian prince who would help the guy get half his fortune while he was at it...

So yeah, next time that song comes on, try imagining that the little kid is totally a scam artist or pickpocket who's working the singer like a rube for a $20 to buy weed.  You'll totally gain a new appreciation for the song...


I pointed out in the car the other night that if she is dead it wouldn't matter if they "fit just fine".  Best 3 hours of silence that didn't involve sitting in a movie. 
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: McMetal on December 6, 2012, 09:20 AM
And who lets their kid walk around a crowded department store at Christmastime all by themselves anyway?

Someone call Social Services!
Title: Re: Christmas Songs that Suck
Post by: TheSon on December 6, 2012, 09:55 PM
And who lets their kid walk around a crowded department store at Christmastime all by themselves

According to the song, a dead lady I guess.


Now that is the Spirit of Christmas put to music.