JediDefender.com Forums
Community => Watto's Junk Yard => Topic started by: Scott on June 23, 2004, 01:07 AM
-
So...I was just out of town for a few days and caught an early evening flight back home...short flight only 45 minutes but its not a big jet by any means and they do a drink service.
Back up...it was hot today and I had quite a few Diet bevarages all day, a couple of cups of coffee, a 20oz Diet Mountain Dew and a few Barley Pops at the airport before we left and for some reason though I'd enjoy a nice refreshing Diet Pepsi. We then start our decent into MSP. At that exact moment, for some reason, I suddenly felt that sensation in the nether regions that I HAD to go but thought, well I'm 29 years old, I can hold it for another 20-25 minutes when we land and get off the plane. Well, we land on the way other side of the airport and wind up driving around for almost 20 minutes...at this point my legs are crossed and my feet are tapping and I'm really getting nervous.
Suddenly the plane stops on the runway...dead stop. The jostling makes me really sweaty and nervous and I get up and make a beeline for the rear of the plane.
Whew, made it...but it was close. The punchline is...As I was draining the main vein, the stewardess came on and said "Ladies and Gentlemen...PLEASE stay in your seat until the plane comes to a complete stop and the captain yadda yadda yadda"
There's gotta be times on long road trips or in a movie that you just gotta go and can't...isn't there or was this just some freak occurance of too much liquidation and bad timing in the take off and landing cycle ???
-
Just poor bladder control, by an apparently unskilled drinker... ::)
I had a couple drinks in the L.A. airport on Sunday, hopped a 4.25 hour flight to Nashville on which I had a few more drinks, and I didn't even take a leak until we were in the airport in Tennessee. Airport to airport, more than 5 hours altogether.
Yeah, yeah - I know... You can just call me stallion. (all the ladies already do! :P)
-
Yeah, yeah - I know... You can just call me stallion. (all the ladies already do! :P)
Actually, I usually call you TBM :-*
-
Well, I used to be good at the bar holding it for a long time due to my absolute laothing of public men's restrooms and their disgusting smell and urine everywhere...places like the troughs at the Metrodome are my worst nightmare, you couldn't pay me to take a leak in those cesspools
But once that first pee is relieved its like someone turned on a faucet and I'll have to go all night. I even made a special trip right before I got on the plane because I knew I had a little too much liquid before getting on a short flight like that. If it was a 3 hour trip to California I'd be OK because I could go a couple of times on the plane no problem...here the beverage service took up 2/3rds of the flight time and the seat belt light never went off
-
A few years ago in Math class. I usually went before 3rd period, but didn't need to that day. Math was 4th period, between 3rd and Lunch.
Anyway, I was holding it in REALLY bad by the time there was only two minutes left in class. I'm talking sweating, knees shaking, bouncing up and down in my seat. Two kids were arguing, and the teacher was getting mad. Finally, the bell rings!
"Not so fast!" the teacher yelled.
"AHHHHHH!!!" I shouted in my head.
The teacher made us sit for a minute as punishment for the two kids arguing. I could feel the pee at the end of the tube, just waiting to come out. If I stopped shaking my knees, it would come out! Then, the teacher began releasing us. But she released us in sections. I was in section 2, same as with the two fighting kids.
"Section 1 may go" said the teacher.
"Ah, I'll leave next" I thought.
"Section.... THREE" the teacher said.
"AHHHHHH!!!" I shouted in my head.
At that point, my entire body felt like it had shut down. For a moment, I thought I actually HAD gone in my pants. But I hadn't. Phew!
The teacher finally released my section, and I made a dash to the bathroom, knocking over a few kids in the process. But I could care less.
So if this story has any moral, it must be "Don't hold your piss in".
-
Not a urine story, but a close call with numero dos. So I'll give a poop warning for those who might not want to read ahead - sorry in advance if this gets a little gross
-------------------
About 6 weeks ago I was participating in a 24 hour film race with some friends of mine from work. Now, often when I'm out of my element for extended periods of time, I don't...well...crap. So, I'd been awake for 25 or 30 hours without emptying the old bowels so to speak (it had probably been almost 40 hours since last relieving said bowels if you include the previous night's sleep...
...and I had to take my girlfriend to the airport around 9:30 a.m. After dropping her off, I was supposed to drop her car off at our repair shop that is just down the street then get my car from my place and drive straight back to the editing suites.
The guy there offered me a ride home, but I passed since we live about a block away. Well...while I was walking home I realized it was more like 5 blocks away...
Now I suppose that whole not pooping when I'm not in familiar surroundings thing was suddenly not in effect anymore, because around 3 blocks from my home...well, the feeling came over me. By one block away, I was forcably flexing my ass to keep from ruining my day. Running only made it much worse.
By the time I got to my building, I was seriously convinced that I wouldn't make it - and I was sweating badly.
I'll end by saying that I literally made it by mere seconds - and the object I gave birth to was a healthy 18 inches minimumm in length. I doubt it will ever be equalled, by me at least...
Sorry again
-
After reading this, I think Brad should come in here & urinate on this thread! (http://www.jedidefender.com/yabbse/YaBBImages/grin.gif)
-
Dunno how long I can hold it... :-\
-
Dunno how long I can hold it... :-\
Just go with the flow! (http://www.jedidefender.com/yabbse/YaBBImages/kiss.gif)
Inserts sound of rushing waterfalls!
-
Actually, I usually call you TBM :-*
Oh yeah, forgot about that one... :-[
You shut up! I took one freakin' leak over the course of a 4+ hour chat! I'm sure you guys did too, but just didn't announce it like I did. >:(
-
I'm not sure if KBZ should be banned from here for his story, or go into porn of some sort...
Or both.
-
On the same topic, did anyone catch "Along Came Polly"? Some great bathroom humor. Anyone ever Shart? ;D
-
I'm not sure if KBZ should be banned from here for his story, or go into porn of some sort...
Or both.
If it was over the line, I'll gladly remove it. Sorry. :(
-
Nope not over the line and exactly on topic...thanks for the chuckle.
Diddly's story sounds about how I felt too, one minute longer and I would have pissed my pants ;D
-
We used to get together and play cards if there were no parties to go to. The biggest part of the deal though was who could last the longest without going to the bathroom while drinking beer. 7 and a half is the record :o
Ever have those morning after visits to the bathroom where it seems it will never end? Going solid for over a minute? Not much in the world feels better than that. Amazing control considering no cognitive processes are involved.
TBM :-*
-
Pee and Poop threads. Gotta love them.
So, this past weekend, I was on a trip up Mt. Rainier, and they had informed us ahead of time to pack toilet paper because there are obviously no toilets up there. You are also required to bring a plastic bag, and if you are so unfortunate as to have to produce the 'ol number 2....you will be forced to carry it back down the mountain with you.
So...you have a couple of chances at a toilet. One is in the morning before you start the hike, then the next is at the end of the day at Base Camp. You're supposed to continue eating the whole way for energy....so I figured...it's BOUND to happen at some point. I would have gone in the morning to assure myself a poop-free climbing day, and, I hadn't "gone" the day before that, so I figured the morning would just be a natural thing.
However, when the alarm hit, I found out I just didn't have to go. I tried, but the old "Here I sit" poem was in full effect. I was worried I was going to be that guy that has to go on the trail at some point, but there was nothing I could do. I started climbing and crossed my fingers that I wouldn't get the urge along the way.
I easily made it up to base camp, and used their latrine, but a few hours later when I was on my way up the mountain again from there, I realized I was going to have to go. Maybe it was that dehydrated beef stew.
Somehow, I managed to ignore the call of nature, and hold it until I came down from the top of the mountain, but a few people on our rope were not so lucky. They had to climb as far away from us as their 12 feet of slack would allow, and attempt to have as much privacy as they could while being tied at the hip to 5 or 6 other guys. Then they had to carry the bag full of goodness all the way back down to base camp with them. I couldn't help thinking that no matter where it is in your pack, it's probably next to something (Clothes, food, water, sunscreen, whatever) that you're going to use that day.
Yuck.
-
I have to ask:
Why bring the poop back with you? It decomposes readily and bluntly, it's a food resource for any number of insects. The paper I get, unsightly, not quick enough to break down, etc. But maybe carrying this leave nothing behind mentality a little too far? How long before you're peeing in bottles? ::)
-
It has something to do with the water supply or something. I know when you go backpacking in a lot of places, you have to pack out your toilet paper...but you can bury anything that's not Scottish. ;)
-
about 10 years ago, some friends and i decided it would be fun to go and check out the lollapolooza tour at jones beach, which is about 3 hours from our hometown. we decided to hit the road at 10am, since the gates opened at around 12pm, but the show didn't actually start till maybe 2 or 3. so, since we were young and stupid, we figured it would be fun to just drink all day long. and i mean all day.
i woke up at about 7am and hit the beers first thing. no recollection of how many i drank, but i definitely remember not going to take a leak before we left (this was mistake #1). we left at 10am, and hit the road. pretty smooth sailing. at least, for the first hour or so, until we hit some major major traffic on the expressway going over into long island.
oh yeah, i forgot to mention, since we were young and stupid, we decided that we would bring the cooler into the car with us, and drink on the way there as well. as soon as we started to slow down, that feeling hit me. hard. we crawled along the expressway for another 4 hours or so, with me clenching my legs tighter than ever before. not that i had much of a choice, since there were 4 of us packed into the back seat.
so, we had 3 people in the front seat, and myself and 3 others in the back seat, pretty much drinking from 7am on. we got stuck in slow moving traffic for what seemed like hours. all i know is that by the time we hit jones beach, it was almost 3pm. it had been almost 8 hours of continuous drinking. when i tried to stand up and get out of the car, my kidneys and bladder hurt sooo bad, i was hunched over and couldn't even stand up straight. i hobbled to the mens room, and spent what seemed like an eternity in there. i mean, there were guys coming in, doing their business, and leaving while i was still there.
absolutely one of the most horrible experiences of my life thus far. of course, after that, the show was great ;D