JediDefender.com Forums

Community => Watto's Junk Yard => Topic started by: Thomas Grey on May 27, 2004, 01:16 PM

Title: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on May 27, 2004, 01:16 PM
This is an alphabetical list that was started about 6 years or so ago. The keeper of this list is a buddy of mine in San Francisco named Tony. He has toiled long and hard (over many nights under the influence of illicit substances) with many friends to compile this list.

Now the nomination and election process is a bit more complex then one may think. So I’ll go over the basic rules for a movie to be deemed ‘bad’.
1. No sequels allowed! It is very rare that any sequel is actually ‘good’.
2. No ‘b’, cult, horror or spoof movies allowed. These are so bad they are actually good.
3. A made for television or cable movie is pushing it. A movie that goes straight to video has got to be bad, so those are pushing it too.
4. You must consider that these are movies that you would be paying money to see in a theater.
5. There are movies that are bad that can have enough redeeming qualities they won’t make the cut. Examples are: Judge Dredd (Stallone) or The Punisher (Dolph Lundgren). These are comicbook movies and for the fans that know the medium, they are pretty good. Early Schwarzenegger and Stallone Action flicks have enough one-liners and action that they have entertainment value.

With this in mind, there is a process that a movie must go through to make the list.
1. 2 or more people must agree the movie is really bad.
2. If someone is against it being added, they must make a valid case for keeping it off.

Movies that are on the list can be removed but only if you are undeniably correct and have reasons that are hard to argue. The panel of Stoners and Drunks and dudes that made the list are professional movie viewers and have placed these beauties on here for a reason. The effort to break out something like, “Cop and a Half” during a round table discussion was the motivator to take the list to this level.

If you have a suggestion, a nomination, disagreement, then let’s hear it! I will try and revise the list as often as possible. I will have final say (after Tony’s blessing) on movies that make it or not. I know a lot of modern and contemporary stuff is missing. It has not been ‘officially’ revised for about 2 years. Again, I will consult Tony for additions and add them soon. I just thought that this list was good for a laugh at least and I hope people dig it and get into trying to come up with the doozie that echoes laughter throughout the site and beyond.

<pi>
54
8mm
Air Force 1
Airheads
American Anthem
Anaconda
Angels in the Outfield
Any Which Way But Loose
(The) Apple Dumplin’ Gang
(The) Bachelor
Beethoven
(The) Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Big Bully
Big Business
Big Daddy
Bio Dome
Bird on a Wire
Blue Chips
Breakin’
Bright Lights Big City
Capt ’n’ Jack
(The) Cell
Child’s Play
Cliff Hanger
Cobra
Congo
Cool World
Cop and a Half
Cops & Robbersons
Corvette Summer
Curly Sue
Dark Man
Daylight
Deep Impact
Demolition Man
Desperately Seeking Susan
Doc Hollywood
Dragonheart
Dream a Little Dream
Dream Lover
Dunston Checks In
Encino Man
Envy
Existenz
Exit to Eden
Fair Game
Father of the Bride
Father’s Day
Feds
Final Destination
First Knight
Fist of Fear
Footloose
Freejack
Free Willy
Fresh Horses
From Dusk to Dawn
Ghost Dad
Ghost in the Darkness
Gigli
Gleaming the Cube
Goin’ Ape
Gone in 60 Seconds
Greed
Hardwear
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man
Harry and the Harrisons
Haunted Honeymoon
Her Alibi
Hero
Honey I Shrunk the Kids
Hope Floats
(The) Hurricane
Ice Castles
If Looks Could Kill
(The) Island of Dr. Moreau
Ishtar
It's Pat
Jingle All the Way
K-9
Kazam
King Ralph
Lady Bugs
Lake Placid
(The) Last Action Hero
L A Story
Leonard VI (not a sequel)
Leprechaun
(The) Light of Day
Like Father Like Son
Look Who’s Talking
Mannequin
(The) Mario Brothers
Men at Work
(The) Mighty Ducks
(The) Money Pit
Mister Saturday Night
(The) Mummy
MVP (Most Valuable Primate)
Nell
(The) Net
Nurse Betty
Oscar
Over the Top
Palmetto
Paternity
Poison Ivy
(The) Postman
Problem Child
(The) Quick and the Dead
Razors Edge
Return of the Disco Godfather
Rhinestone Cowboy
Shang-Hi Surprise
She-Devil
She’s Outta Control
Short Circuit
Side Kicks
Sideout
Silver Bullet
Stone Cold
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot
Tango and Cash
Titanic
Tremors
Turner and Hooch
Two if By Sea
Vice Versa
Walk Like a Man
Waterworld
Way to Go
Weekend at Bernies
Wild Orchid
YMCA
Young Einstein
You’ve Got Mail
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Scott on May 27, 2004, 01:22 PM
Three that jumped out at me that I liked (and granted I've only seen them once or twice...)

Father of the Bride
Island of Doctor Moreau
The Mummy

The rest though IMHO can stay

I'd like to be the first to nominate

(http://www.star987.com/cc-common/pj/images/gigli.jpg)
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Vator on May 27, 2004, 01:46 PM
One that jumped out at me was Independance Day, that is one of my favorite movies, why don't you like it?
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Morgbug on May 27, 2004, 01:49 PM
In my consistent form I'd point out that there are movies on there bound to meet with disagreement.  I think it's fairly clear the list is generated and maintained by men (Titanic?) but it also suffers from some regional biases.  Young Einstein, while rather horrific, did quite well in Australia IIRC.  I saw it over there when it was released, in a packed theater, that received near continuous laughter.   Granted that may have been derisive in nature and pretty much all of my time in Australia was spent under the influence (really, I don't think I fully sobered up for six months except when scuba diving - I didn't drive at all).  That may be the norm for Australians however, explaining any of a number of other issues.  

A movie I and a buddy enjoyed that truly deserves to be on that list is Howard the Duck.  I suppose that may fit under the "B" movie category, but I don't think it was intended to be released as such.  I had/have a thing for Lea Thompson so I'm excused :-[

Right turn, Clyde ;D
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: DSJ™ on May 27, 2004, 01:53 PM
I liked ID4 & Tremors.

Hey, Howard the Duck was cool!  :P
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Morgbug on May 27, 2004, 01:59 PM


Hey, Howard the Duck was cool!  :P

That makes three of us ;)
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: DSJ™ on May 27, 2004, 02:10 PM


Hey, Howard the Duck was cool!  :P

That makes three of us ;)

This Bud's for you!   ;)   :-*

(http://www.telusplanet.net/public/djustus/Bud%20Duck.jpg)
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SPIDERLEGS on May 27, 2004, 02:49 PM
I'm assuming "Party Monster" wasn't on that list because no one saw it. Do yourselves a favor: never rent "Party Monster." It sucked balls.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on May 27, 2004, 04:22 PM
Okay...

First, 'Gigli' is definitely going on. As I mentioned, it needs some fresh stuff and that is a major keeper! Nice Scott!

As far as the others go, to each their own. 'Father of the Bride' is definitely an acquired taste, but just not good enough. 'Island of Doctor Moreau' has good actors and some good effects and make-up, but that doesn't mean it's a good movie. The Mummy is entertaining, but cliche and hard to take unless you are watching it on cable. Some of these are bad theater movies, but great for cable movies.

Vator, I liked Independence Day as well and for some reason I'm not seeing it on the list. So, I can't comment other than I also agree, if it is on the list, that it is good enough to have it removed.

Howard the Duck is a cult movie and a comic movie. While it may suck, it has enough redeeming qualities and closet fans that it will stay off.

I forgot to mention that these have to be movies that more than one person has seen in order to verify the suckiness. So unfortunately, I cannot agree with 'Party Monster' SPIDERLEGS, and I hope to never be able to verify that it is bad...

Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: FX-7 on May 27, 2004, 04:23 PM
How about Short Circuit?
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on May 28, 2004, 10:49 PM
Short Circuit was nominated, but it was decided that when it was released, Ally Sheedy was hot enough to merit it acceptable.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Rob on May 29, 2004, 02:39 AM
I disagree with the following (not that I think they're the greatest of all time or anything, just that they're either fun or enjoyable):

Airheads
Bio Dome
Child’s Play
Dark Man
Father of the Bride
From Dusk to Dawn
Ghost Dad
Harry and the Harrisons (I assume you meant Hendersons?)
Hero (The Jet Li film?!?!!  Or is there another movie called Hero that's no good?)
Problem Child
Weekend at Bernies

I'd like to submit the worst movie of all time:

"It's Pat"
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SilverZ on May 29, 2004, 06:05 AM
You're missing a whole barrel full of bad monkey movies, my friend:

Dunston Checks In
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000062XG1.01._PE10_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

MVP: Most Valuable Primate
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000053GTB.01._PE10_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

Congo
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6305495106.01._PE13_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

These are valid theatrical releases with legit cast members, released with the intention of being entertainment.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SilverZ on May 29, 2004, 06:20 AM
This is the only movie I've actually seen in a theater, and considered leaving in the middle of:

Exit to Eden
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005Y6YE.01._PE_SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

Now, you could argue that, in the time it was made, Dana Delaney was considered hot, and therefore this movie doesn't count. But, given that once you see her goods on screen, all hotness comments are void. Major letdown. And Rosie O'Donnel sucks beyond all things else in the universe that suck.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Scott on May 29, 2004, 08:53 AM
Short Circuit was nominated, but it was decided that when it was released, Ally Sheedy was hot enough to merit it acceptable.
Two words...Steve Guttenberg

Speaking of which I nominate these:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000430/
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on May 29, 2004, 01:10 PM
Okay...

to KNEEL BEFORE ZOD...

I cannot relate or say any of those movies do not belong. Please consider that we are talking about paying money to go see these in the theaters. If we are not with our kids or a spouse, we are out of there! To comment briefly (highly opinionated btw) on your choices of movies you think do not belong...
Airheads - good cable movie at best...
Bio Dome - the only good scene in BD is when 'Squirrel' is trying to break down his Baldwin's last meal based on smell. Beyond that, pure suck.
Child’s Play - Bad horror flick? Cult movie? Chuckie is novelty horror at best and stupid at best.
Dark Man - Can't even comment because I made it through maybe 1/3 of the movie and I'm a comicbook fan.
Father of the Bride - With daughter or spouse or friend that with daughter that can relate it's fine. Martin Short is too exaggerated and it's just not a good theater movie.  
From Dusk to Dawn - This is in my worst top ten. I was mortified when I watched it because I expected such amazing things. I can't even think about it, it makes me so upset.
Ghost Dad - Cosby is good for TV and stand-up. How many movies have you seen him in? Ghost Dad is proof why.
Harry and the Harrisons (I assume you meant Hendersons?) - I di mean Hendersons. My bad. Good for TV. A sit-com on the big screen. Doesn't work.
Hero (The Jet Li film?!?!!  Or is there another movie called Hero that's no good?) - I'll look into that. I am looking to contact Tony soon and I will confirm it's origin and reason.
Problem Child - Annoying to the point I wanted to rip my eyes and ears out and off.
Weekend at Bernies - It's clever for maybe 2 scenes with dead Bernie. Then it just gets old... Quick!

It's Pat and all 4 of Tyderium's are winners and in and will be added soon. I'll look into the Guttenberg site Scott. Good call and I agree, the guy is the worst. That may make Short Circuit an addition...

Thanks! I was crying over the barrel of monkeys and the Steve Guttenberg stuff.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Vator on May 29, 2004, 01:34 PM
It's on the list under it's culty name of ID4, maybe that's why you didn't see it.  :)
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Rob on May 29, 2004, 01:53 PM
Okay...

to KNEEL BEFORE ZOD...

I cannot relate or say any of those movies do not belong. Please consider that we are talking about paying money to go see these in the theaters. If we are not with our kids or a spouse, we are out of there! To comment briefly (highly opinionated btw) on your choices of movies you think do not belong...
Airheads - good cable movie at best...
Bio Dome - the only good scene in BD is when 'Squirrel' is trying to break down his Baldwin's last meal based on smell. Beyond that, pure suck.
Child’s Play - Bad horror flick? Cult movie? Chuckie is novelty horror at best and stupid at best.
Dark Man - Can't even comment because I made it through maybe 1/3 of the movie and I'm a comicbook fan.
Father of the Bride - With daughter or spouse or friend that with daughter that can relate it's fine. Martin Short is too exaggerated and it's just not a good theater movie.  
From Dusk to Dawn - This is in my worst top ten. I was mortified when I watched it because I expected such amazing things. I can't even think about it, it makes me so upset.
Ghost Dad - Cosby is good for TV and stand-up. How many movies have you seen him in? Ghost Dad is proof why.
Harry and the Harrisons (I assume you meant Hendersons?) - I di mean Hendersons. My bad. Good for TV. A sit-com on the big screen. Doesn't work.
Hero (The Jet Li film?!?!!  Or is there another movie called Hero that's no good?) - I'll look into that. I am looking to contact Tony soon and I will confirm it's origin and reason.
Problem Child - Annoying to the point I wanted to rip my eyes and ears out and off.
Weekend at Bernies - It's clever for maybe 2 scenes with dead Bernie. Then it just gets old... Quick!

It's Pat and all 4 of Tyderium's are winners and in and will be added soon. I'll look into the Guttenberg site Scott. Good call and I agree, the guy is the worst. That may make Short Circuit an addition...

Thanks! I was crying over the barrel of monkeys and the Steve Guttenberg stuff.


Okay, in my haste I missed the qualifier about it being a movie you'd pay to see in theaters.  In that case, I withdraw my objections to all of those except for From Dusk Till Dawn and Father of the Bride.

-R
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on May 29, 2004, 02:17 PM
I amended the list a bit and made the rules a little more clear...
ID4 - Independence Day is off

added
Short Circuit
all 3 Primate movies
It's Pat
Anaconda (a movie I missed from the original list)

Exit to Eden was already there...

What's the shark movie with L. L. Cool J? That was pretty unbearable...
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SiteC on May 29, 2004, 02:26 PM
I actually enjoyed Dragonheart, and Tremors is one of my favorite films of all time....

That said, being a fan of the series, but not the movie; where is that rape of a Joss Whedon script by the name of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer on that list?


Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SilverZ on May 30, 2004, 02:24 AM
Oops, didn't see Exit on the list there, sorry.

Quote
What's the shark movie with L. L. Cool J? That was pretty unbearable...

I believe that would be Deep Blue Sea. But Samuel L Jackson gets eaten by a shark in the middle of his big speach 1/2 way through the movie! How can that be bad?  :)
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Jedi Idej on May 30, 2004, 09:53 PM
I think From Dusk to Dawn should be taken off the list. Perhaps you're confusing it with another blood-sucking movie, Vampires, which just totally sucks. C'mon... Salma Hayek or Daniel Baldwin?

A couple of movies that should be added are Godzilla (1998) and Wing Commander.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Angry Ewok on May 30, 2004, 09:56 PM
Godzilla '98 definately sucked.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SPIDERLEGS on May 31, 2004, 12:54 PM
I also didn't see "Wolf" with Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer and James Spader. Horrible movie! I actually walked out of it and demanded my money back. They just gave me a voucher to see another movie. UGH!

Worst movie EVER. (Unless you count "Mannequin").

"Party Monster" starred Seth Green, Macauly Culkin, Marilyn Manson, and Dylan McDermott. It was an independent film, but quite successful.

(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00014K5TQ.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)

I love clubs, but I ask you: does this not SCREAM suckiness?
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Angry Ewok on May 31, 2004, 11:47 PM
Rumor has it we can all add Starship Troopers 2 to the Official Bad Movie list.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Scott on June 1, 2004, 12:45 AM
Can I prenominate Chronicles of Riddick?
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on June 3, 2004, 12:42 PM
Deep Blue Sea will stay off for now.

Godzilla '98 did and Wing Commander did suck. Party Moster looks pretty good from the box front. I like party movies. I'll check it out... NOT! Wolf was pretty awful considering everything (adapted from a great Jim Harrison novel, Jack Nicholson...). These will be added soon. Still working on making contact with Tony...

Dusk 'til Dawn is the worst! I will not take it off. While it had a decent cast, that didn't save the meaningless plot or flow of the movie. The script and dialogue was the worst. I was stunned at how hard it was to watch and how bad it was. I kept waiting for something profound to happen or something to save the movie and it just kept sinking.

No sequels allowed Brad. But can't imagine it will be any better than suck.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on June 8, 2004, 11:15 PM
What's that really bad movie with Dan Akroyd and Kim Bassinger about marrying an alien? That thing sucked!

Masters of the Universe? I love Dolph, but that is even below bad. Can't nominate Punisher (the 1st one) or I come in Peace, because they have enough that is bad enough to be comical and thus they are ultimately entertaining. That's why there aren't Van Damm movies.

I suggest that someone  help with any Steven Segal movie that is not there already. He was new and pretty adept at kicking butt, but he got old quick and his 'one-liners' are beyond bad.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Nicklab on June 10, 2004, 01:23 AM
Rumor has it we can all add Starship Troopers 2 to the Official Bad Movie list.

Straight to video release.  It's gotta be pretty bad.

I'm surprised I haven't seen Jet Li's "The One" on the list.  That was attrocious.

I am surprised to see 8mm on the list.  I don't think it was that bad.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Nicklab on June 10, 2004, 01:32 AM
Please add....

Crossroads
Swept Away (the remake)
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Angry Ewok on June 10, 2004, 08:20 AM
I'm surprised I haven't seen Jet Li's "The One" on the list.  That was attrocious.

For the budget it was given, and given the fact they were not allowed to make it an R rated film - I think 'The One' is a good movie, a great concept - but only a good movie. The acting is pretty bad... Fact Brooklyn accents, nooooo!

Red Dragon was a much better movie.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on June 10, 2004, 09:17 PM
I'll add Crossroads and wait on Swept Away. The One fits into the Kung Fu/Karate/Martial Arts genre and most are bad and that is why they are good. Even a modern martial arts movie fits and will always have a few redeeming scenes.

I saw 8mm and thought it shouldn't be there until I really thought about what was memorable or really good about it. Nick Cage is great, but the plot and movie depended on the taboo to reel people in and ultimately it just kept getting worse and worse and wasn't really unpredictable. Mel Gibson was in a film at the same time about a rogue who wants revenge and that was good in comparrison because it was gritty, harsh and unpredictable. Mind you this is my opinion. But I thought about how I could justify 8mm as being good and ultimately I said to myself, I guess it did suck...
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on June 12, 2004, 11:50 PM
I just received response from Tony (the innovative mind that started this list). He is going to send me his official rules and an updated list soon. I will feel better then about adding or subtracting or the criteria. So far the response here has been really hilarious and I appreciate the submissions. I will post when I have amended the rules and list a la Tony.

What's the Brandon Frazier movie with an animated monkey? That was unbearable!
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Durge on June 13, 2004, 12:05 AM
"Garfield" is out this week. I think it's a good addition to this thread.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: JediMAC on June 14, 2004, 02:44 AM
Can I prenominate Chronicles of Riddick?

Why, because Cory really liked it, and his good pal Depmode actually LOVED it:

Quote
Simply amazing. Best movie experience since Return Of The King. This is my kinda sci-fi. Give me more, please.

Yeah, I guess that's probably more than enough reason to nominate it here...   :P
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Logray2776 on June 14, 2004, 03:40 AM
The name of the movie with the animated monkey is the FLOP   "MonkeyBone"
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Scott on June 14, 2004, 09:28 AM
Can I prenominate Chronicles of Riddick?

Why, because Cory really liked it, and his good pal Depmode actually LOVED it:

Quote
Simply amazing. Best movie experience since Return Of The King. This is my kinda sci-fi. Give me more, please.

Yeah, I guess that's probably more than enough reason to nominate it here...   :P
I think this cements it
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Thomas Grey on July 13, 2004, 07:04 PM
Isn't there a movie called, "Just one of the Guys"? That thing is bad...

I heard from Tony and he's working on an updated list for me and his rules as they differ. I'll get that up asap...
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Scott on July 13, 2004, 08:32 PM
How about the latest Around the World in 80 Days...that thing BOMBED
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Diddly on July 18, 2004, 09:33 PM
Can I pre-nominate Catwoman?
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: habs98 on July 18, 2004, 11:46 PM
I'm going to add I, Robot, just not a good movie at all.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: Vator on July 19, 2004, 12:25 AM
I, Robot was actually pretty good. Well despite the somewhat corny action sequences at times.
Title: Re: The Official Bad Movie Thread
Post by: SPIDERLEGS on July 19, 2004, 01:36 PM
"Garfield" is out this week. I think it's a good addition to this thread.

My 6 year old wanted to see it, so we went. Other than Bill Murray (who HAD to be struggling), it was worse than it looks.