Author Topic: TSR Part 6: The Power of Money  (Read 3330 times)

Offline Diddly

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TSR Part 6: The Power of Money
« on: November 25, 2005, 11:32 PM »
Well, it's finally here! After a month or so of delay, quite possibly the biggest chapter of TSR has arrived! Enjoy...


It is mid-morning on Trideeno. Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, Lando, and Senator Forgs are eating breakfast in the dining room. Everyone is still shaken up from the explosion in Luke's room the previous night. Also suspicious is the disappearance of R2-D2, C-3PO, Admiral Elick, and Han Solo. Robilus and Sivart Dralco enter the dining room.
ROBILUS: Good morning, friends! I trust that everyone got a good night sleep, aside from the explosion?
CHEWIE: Rerrrraw!
LANDO: Yeah, Iíve had better nights myself.
SIVART: You feeling better, Luke?
LUKE: Actually, I am. Iím feeling much better, thanks to the Force.
LEIA: Mr. Dralco, I was wondering if youíve seen Han this morning? And our droids?

ROBILUS: I saw the droids on my way here. They said they would like to look around some more while we eat. As for Captain Solo, he must still be sleeping, as I havenít heard from him since last night. The same goes for Admiral Elick.
Leia gives Luke a strange look, showing her distrust for the Dralcos.
ROBILUS: Now, if you are all finished, we will be making our way to the Trideeno capitol building. President Talos has arranged for us to go on a special VIP tour, which is not available to the normal public. Princess, I shall inform Captain Solo of our whereabouts when he awakes.
Everyone gets up and walks out. Robilus catches Luke as he gets up from the table.
ROBILUS: Luke, I managed to find out that the Remnant paid off a maid to plant the bomb in your room. So far, we have been unsuccessful in getting the leaderís location, but the maid informed us that Admiral Margalit is running things. Hopefully that will aid you in your investigation.
LUKE: It will, thank you sir.

Inside the rotunda of the Trideeno capitol building, President Talos leads the group on their tour. The capitol rests on Capitol Hill, which overlooks a large city as well as a beautiful mountainside and ocean.

TALOS: And here we are, the main attraction, the rotunda. We have some beautiful sculptures up towards the top. You may be interested in them, Master Jedi, one is a depiction of the Sith War.
LUKE: Too bad I canít see it up close.
The group looks around at the beauty as Robilus pulls out a comlink.

ROBILUS: Yes. Ö Really? Ö Iím at the capitol right now, but I can get there as soon as possible. Ö Right. Iím on my way there now. Thanks for the heads up.
Robilus turns toward the group.
ROBILUS: Friends, Iím terribly sorry for all of this, but I have a client coming in from Bespin interested in my defense systems. Iím afraid that I must go meet with him for now. Sivart, Iíll need you to escort him. Again, my apologies, I will meet you all again later this afternoon.
Robilus and Sivart leave the rotunda as Luke walks up to Leia.

LUKE: I sense a disturbance in the Force.
LEIA: I do too. I think itís coming from the Dralcos. I donít trust them.
Suddenly, the rotunda darkens, as a large ship appears to have cut off the natural light. The ship is a Star Destroyer, which flies right over the dome.

Star Destroyers enter Trideeno's atmosphere and begin sending out troops for a hostile takeover. Inside the rotunda, Stormtroopers burst through the windows. Luke and Leia ignite their lightsabers, while Lando and Chewie pull out their blasters. However, President Talos and Tridia Forgs pull out blasters of their own as Admiral Margalit and Baron Samedi enter through an already broken window. Realizing that they are outnumbered, the New Republic heroes surrender their weapons.

SAMEDI: Republic scum. Youíre outnumbered. Put down your weapons.
LUKE: TridiaÖ how could you?
FORGS: Your powers betray you, Jedi. You should have seen this coming. I was always a bit quiet, wouldnít you think? Iím surprised you didnít suspect anything sooner.
LANDO: I had a feeling you were leading the Remnant, Samedi.
LEIA: And Talos, I suspected he was up to something all along.
TALOS: Then your Jedi powers arenít as sharp as Skywalkerís are, though that isnít saying much. Skywalker here is about half the Jedi his father was, before Darth Vader killed him.
LUKE: And youíre about half the politician Count Dooku was, before Darth Vader killed him.

The Republic leaders are marched out of the rotunda.
LEIA: Itís okay Chewie. No harm will come to us.
MARGALIT: And Skywalker, brush up on your history. Your father killed Count Dooku, not Darth Vader.
LUKE: Well Iíll remember that next time.
The troops take the prisoners outside, where a Trideeno Starfighter escorts them from above.
SAMEDI: Oh Iíve been waiting a long time for this. Iíve wanted my revenge on the Jedi ever since they ruined my figure.
LANDO: Itís not their fault you canít afford a robotic hand.

The Remnant forces have pushed the Republic leaders down into a tourist extension inside of Capitol Hill, which overlooks the city.

SAMEDI: SILENCE. It was on an excavation to Dantooine, just after the emergence of the Empire. A team of Imperial scientists and I were searching for a Sith holocron, thought to have been hidden there by the Jedi. Well a Jedi in hiding attacked us. He cut my chin, stabbed out my eye, and cut off my hand. Because Dantooine is so remote, we could only attach a hook. Now itís MY turn to disfigure you.
LANDO: If youíre done sobbing, Iím gonna do this.

Lando tackles the two troops holding the weapons. They toss the lightsabers, which are caught by Luke and Leia, respectively. They ignite them and strike down the two tackled troops, who are still on the ground. Lando and Chewie retrieve their weapons and a firefight ensues. The Remnant troops lose a troop while running for cover, as Luke and Leia block fire away from Lando and Chewie.

The Trideeno starfighter flies from overhead and makes an approach at the group, firing. Luke tries to deflect them, but they hit right in front of him, and the group falls. Luke quickly springs up and jumps on the starfighter as it turns away from the walkway. The pilot sees him and boosts, causing Luke to lose balance. He is able to grab on to a vent with one hand. The starfighter begins to speed around the city.

Meanwhile, Samedi, Margalit, and the troops force Leia, Lando, and Chewie into a corner. Both sides try to find cover as Chewie shoots down a Stormtrooper.

Outside of Dralcoís mansion, an old Trade Federation MTT loads Han, Admiral Elick, C-3PO, and R2-D2 in the back. Commander Quaas is in charge of the troops. A skiff carrying the Dralcos lands near the MTT. The Dralcos get off and walk over to Quaas.

QUAAS: Robilus Dralco. It is an honor to finally meet you in person. Iím sorry about this invasion, perhaps you should have activated your all powerful planetary shield?
ROBILUS: You pathetic excuse for a life form. If the shield is activated, nothing can enter or exit the atmosphere. I wanted the Remnant to invade, just to rid us of these pesky Republic leaders here.
QUAAS: Us? Youíre an independent businessman. You arenít part of the Remnant.
ROBILUS: Youíre lucky Iím in a good mood today, or youíd be killed in an instant, Commander. Do you know who I am?
QUAAS: Ö Robilus Dralco?

ROBILUS: Wrong. Who did Baron Samedi say had access to these prisoners?
QUAAS: Just himself, me, Admiral Margalit, and Lord Darth Sinis.
ROBILUS: Then step aside. And inform the fleet that Darth Sinis is now in control of the Remnant.
The Dralcos board the MTT as Quaas remains baffled by the Sithís revelation.

« Last Edit: November 26, 2005, 07:59 PM by Diddly »
Twitter: @travis_banks

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: TSR Part 6: The Power of Money
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2005, 06:27 PM »
This was a very entertaining addition to your series Diddly, and it was worth the wait.

A couple of things I would work on -

(1) There seemed to at times be more description corresponding to a certain picture than it should have been, especially early on.† I was a bit confused at first.†

(2) On some of these fan fiction characters, it's a bit hard to remember who they are, and what their role is.† Maybe when mentioning one of their names, it would be good to briefly summarize their role again.

(3) A couple of more close ups might help - when having one of your fantastic EU characters speaking, maybe just a close up of their head would be a good way to remind us exactly which character they are.

(4) Near the beginning, a couple of the paragraphs have the BBC tags for italics and bold face showing, along with a bit of inconsistency in what is and isn't in italics.

(5) I wanted to see more action of the Imperials jumping in through the windows!

But there was plenty of good to go around here too!†

(1) I loved your pic of the capitol building. It really establishes a firm location of where they are and that they are dealing with some governmental leadership.

(2) Seeing two Star Destoyers in the sky really helps remind me that the Imperials are still a force to be reckoned with.

(3) The lightsaber effects are awesome!† Really makes those LEGO battles come to life.

(4) You really take clear pics - it's good to see that and keeps me wanting to see more.

(5) So Robilus turned them in!† Good move there, and I take it he is the Sith Lord?† What a twist, I wasn't expecting that!

I think this was a very action packed episode, and that was good to see, I'm curious to see what happens next.† And I'm wondering how Han likes being cramped up with the droids.† †You could potentially come up with something really entertaining there.† †;)


Offline Quazar

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Re: TSR Part 6: The Power of Money
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2005, 07:59 PM »
GREAT to have the story back!   I will give detailed comments when I can.  But this is a big chapter, so I want to give it the proper amount of attention and, at present, I haven't even finished it yet!

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Offline Diddly

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Re: TSR Part 6: The Power of Money
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2005, 08:34 PM »
CHEWIE: Thanks a lot for the suggestions! I edited the italics and stuff. I hope that clears things up a little bit.

I can see where you're coming from with your comments about the characters. Don't worry though, things will become more clearer as time goes on. Hey, the number of characters could be reduced! Who knows! :o

As for the closeups - I'd LOVE to add a lot more. However, the camera I'm using is old, I believe it came out in 1997 or 1998. Close up shots are wierd with it. The shots I got for this chapter are pretty clear, but I had to retake several of them about two or three times due to blurryness.

Heh, I REALLY wanted to do a shot with the troops crashing through the windows and repelling from the Destroyers ala real life troops, but that would require LOTS of picture editing skill, which I lack at the moment. I almost didn't get those two Star Destroyers over the capitol to work out! If I ever come back and do special editions, I would add a shot like that. I also wanted to add people outside the building, as well as artifacts/statues in the rotunda, and I'd change that as well in a future version.

I'm glad you liked the capitol, as I believe it's the greatest location shot I've made. It took me like 2 weeks to make. Same with the effects! That new program I downloaded does wonders for effects. At first I had to use MS Paint to add the effects, then transfer them to MS Photo Editor to blur them and make them look real. Lots of work!

And yes, Dralco is the Sith Lord. I love the way he came out with it, as well as how Quaas responds to it. Remember though, our heroes don't know he is the Sith Lord yet (well, Han and the droids do - they were there!). And he might have an apprentice as well... ;)

Quazar: Thanks! Take your time, as I still have to reply to your latest Interactive update!
Twitter: @travis_banks