Author Topic: SW: BLACK ILLUSION 3 *ULTIMATE SIN* (R)  (Read 2930 times)

Offline raziel871

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« on: May 31, 2007, 11:09 AM »

A week into the Empires reign darkness has befallen life on Coruscant . . .

As the Emperor places his mark upon the galaxy nothing of the Old Republic is sacred.

Soon the very concepts of liberty & free choice will be a distant memory . . .

As will the Jedi.   

"This is Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. The war is over. I repeat, the war is over. All Jedi are ordered to return to the Jedi Temple immediately. You will receive further instructions when you arrive."

In the very depths of Coruscant, Sergeant Galen Cortez keeps to the shadows.

 Taking an alternative route back to the recently established safe house he comes across the remains of yet another fallen Jedi - although tempted to stop & examine what’s left of a fallen comrade he continues onwards in fear of drawing unnecessary attention to his actions.

Amongst the neon lit alleys he becomes aware of  an individual cautiously on his tail ..

Having tailed many suspects prior to the issuing of Order 66 - Galen easily gives his pursuer the slip . . .

Having no prior knowledge of the backstreets, the aggressor peels off into one of the side rooms.

“Freeze Grub!” Cortez demands . . . .

Suddenly his pursuer turns 180 igniting a lightsaber .

”Hold it, hold it” Durandel screeches, causing Cortez at least to lower his weapon.

”Master it’s . . it’s me Durandel . ..  Do you remember?”

With the tension dispelled the lightsaber also withdraws.
“Master Joyeuse, I can’t believe it’s really you” he continues.
“Yes it’s me Lad - I don’t usually say hello with a lightsaber but the automaton over there startled me something chronic!” Joyeuse thunders.

After recounting their take on recent events Galen & Durandel listen as Master Joyeuse describes barely escaping the temple massacre.

”It was Anakin, Durandel - he’s one of the Sith the Council were looking for - slaughtered everyone!”

It all becomes too much for the Padawan to take in . . .  “It can’t be, IT CAN’T!!”
The two elders try to contain the youngster as he topples the makeshift furniture.

Master Joyeuse explains ”It’s hard for anyone to bear - but the gift of the force makes us hyper sensitive - almost feeling the events occur within ourselves”

“You both need time to rest, calm your senses” Galen ponders.

“Get you head down buddy, I got this place covered”

As they bunk down within the rubble Joyeuse observes Cortez to his fellow Jedi “Do you think he’s reliable enough for all of this?”

Durandel smiles “You could bet the farm on it!”

After many hours of needed rest  . . . . .
Durandel roars aloud igniting his sabre “What’s going on, where is Galen?”

”Calm down Lad” the master explains “he prepared a days worth of rations for us, he’ll be back!”

Way across town . . . . .
The lift doors hiss revealing the outline of a dark figure.

”Your excellence, you guest arrives” Mas Amedda  grovels.

The Emperor speaks ”Arise my champion, your fathers passing is a great loss to our cause”

The figure respectfully removes its helmet . . . Revealing a young woman . . .

”Thankyou my Lord” she replies “I shall honour the new empire in his place!”

As the formalities are almost completed the doors to the chamber part . ..

”Necatarina, I present to you my new apprentice” Lord Vader”

“Your father was a revered warrior & general, I trust that you are ready to step out of his shadow & into serving your emperor?” Vader snaps.

 Before Necatarina can muster a breath the swoosh of a sabre burns the air . . . . Cutting through a Senate guard..

 As quickly as possible she impales guard number 2 as he rushes forward.

“Yesss, yesss” the Emperor erupts “it would appear that you are recuperated  Lord Vader”

“Your unquestioned loyalty is noted my child, you may leave us”

“Come my apprentice we have much to discuss”

Once the central chamber is empty one of the Red guard strikes out at his companion.

Having been present all morning as the new Emperor conducted his affairs the Crimson clad traitor has been privy to many well kept secrets . .


Curious, the guard is compelled to investigate what it is that the most powerful man in the Galaxy would seal away - art & sculpture is kept within the Chancellors office, Holocrons & volumes of ancient text are at his private study - what would he have to keep near for 90% of his day?

Some sort of religious item?

As his hand connects with the item, a hum emits then a glow . . .

Whatever it is - it’s valuable enough to be kept away from all but the fanatically loyal Red Guard - maybe that’s why they are posted to guard the throne room even when the Emperor is not present?

Through the winding corridors he transmits a signal from his wrist COM.

Emerging onto a balcony nestled high above the cityscape.

A ship rises & the droid pilot greets his master with a low toned beep.

Inside the guard removes his helmet before firing his afterburners full throttle!

Hours later under the cover of darkness once again Galen Cortez arrives back at the safe house . . .

“Galen where have you been, I thought that maybe you too had been lost to me!”
“I’m fine buddy” Cortez replies “I had a crazy plan that I didn’t want you involved in, the two of you were here together so I took the opportunity . . .”

“What have you got lad?” Master Joyeuse asks worriedly “it screams dark magic?”
“I took it from our new Emperor, hence the nice outfit I’m sporting” he responds “I read through it whilst waiting for sundown but it’s a language I’m not familiar with”

As dawn breaks Master Joyeuse appears to have been awake all night - in deep thought he doesn’t hear Cortez enter . . .

“I could have been anyone, lucky I’m friend not foe” he scolds

Joyeuse shifts in his seat grumbling as if annoyed by Galen’s interruption

“How’s Durandel doing he doesn’t usually sleep in this late?” Galen continues.

{ Shhhh Vroom} a hum & then an instant flash of green . . .

. . . . . . . . . .

With the object in hand Master Joyeuse looms over the Padawan pondering his next move . . . . .

« Last Edit: July 10, 2007, 06:25 PM by raziel871 »

Offline jedistyle

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« Reply #1 on: June 7, 2007, 07:10 PM »
great story man. i commented on it at YAk, but i'll echo them here, as it seems to be slim on feedback latley, whihc is really ashame with some of the great work that is being done.

AAHHH!!!!! DUDE.......

man i can't belive it.....

-another great looking set and enviroment.

-your effects are definetley well done.

-a good use of the jedi master ben head sculpt on joyeuse, it was cool to see the introduction of another jedi, or so i thought......

-i don't see vader and the royal guard female getting along very well for to long, but i guess wellsee, either way it will be an interesting sub-story.

-so that seems to be book of sith teachings or somthig along those lines, huh? it sure engulfed that jedi in a hurry. very interesting.

-man i can't believe you killed cortez! he was a great charecter.  like a special forces guy running around in a combat zone. i fgured he would have lasted at least a while longer, if not the entire story. we even meet his father......such a bummer......

great chapter in your story, definetley a twisted one.
" The first soap was made from the ashes of hero's, with out pain, with out sacrifice, we would have nothing."

Offline Deanna Rash

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« Reply #2 on: June 8, 2007, 04:20 PM »
 :o :o 8) WOW That 's really cool the characters, the plotline,= superb! Awesome! keep up the good work! ;)
The ablity to speak does not make you intelligent - now get out of here!

Offline CHEWIE

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« Reply #3 on: June 9, 2007, 02:13 AM »
I commented in more detail at Yak, but again thought you deserve more feedback here like Jedistyle said.  Excellent work and you have a great way of storytelling.  Fantastic and really a shocking ending to this chapter!

NOBODY who read the first two chapters could have seen that coming...