Time for a Seance. We summon thee oh ghost of Virex - or something like that...

[Rob]

Today at work for reasons that are beyond even myself, I came across a website explaing, in terms a child could understand, just what one must do to talk to the dead.

So I thought it would be a good idea to conjue up the Ghost of Virex.


Instructions

 
Step 1:  Learn What Seances Are.

A séance (pronounced SAY-ahnce) is a meeting at which a group of people attempts to contact a spirit and communicate with it.   

Now we know.

Step 1:  Check



Step 2:  Create An Exclusive Believers-Only Invitation List.

Stick to people who are open-minded. This is a definite MUST - ghosts respond only to those who believe in them (a reasonable request, we think).

Okay, so if you don't believe in the ghost of Virex - get out.

Step 2:  Check



Step 3:  Set Up A Spirit-Friendly Environment

As even the unbelievers know, ghosts are supposed to come out at night, so plan your séance for sometime after the sun goes down. A night with a bright, full moon would be a nice touch and could set the mood, but it isn't necessary.

Watto's Junk Yard is spirit friendly right?

Step 3:  Check



Step 4:  Prep The Participants

1.  Select a medium. If you don't want to be the medium (that is, the person conducting the séance) have someone who has been to a séance or is particularly in tune with their sixth sense do the job.

2.  Once a medium is established, let him/her lead the group. A séance should be held in an orderly fashion, without random participants yelling out, "When will I get married?" as soon as the spirit arrives. Make sure this is clear to everyone before proceeding.

3.  Decide on whom to call over from the other side. It is a good idea to pick a spirit beforehand, so you'll at least know who you're dealing with (your lovable old Nana, as opposed to an axe murderer). It's also a good idea to choose someone who has recently passed away - spirits who have lived on the other side for more than a couple of decades tend to not want to be bothered and might get angry if they are.

4.  Charge the candles. Have the participants hold each candle in their hands and visualize its symbolic power emanating from it. For example, if you are holding a white candle, picture strands of peaceful smoke curling up from it. Each candle should be passed to and charged by each participant before being lit and returned to the center of the table.

I'll be the medium - someone else get the candles.

Step 4:  Check



Step 5:  Summon The Spirit

Blah Blah Blah - instructions link.

Let's pretend we just did all the stuff in that link.

Step 5:  Check



Step 6:  Re-evaluate The Situation If The Seance Doesn't Work Right Away

If it turns out that you followed all these steps but couldn't get a ghost to visit, it might be because someone in your séance group doesn't really believe in ghosts, deep down inside. As the meditation and chanting was going on, consciously he/she was thinking, "Wow, this is creepy," but subconsciously, he/she was going, "Yeah, right." You can resolve the issue by shining a bright light in each person's face and interrogating them mercilessly, or you can just try holding the séance with different combinations of people to weed out the pseudo-believers.

Hopefully this won't be an issue.

Step 6:  Check


[Mumbo Jumbo] We call upon you oh ghost of Virex...[/Mumbo Jumbo]

I'm scared.

[Morgbug]

Ooh, count me in.  I love candles.  You know when the wax drips on your nipples..... oh, wrong forum

[Rob]

The word "old" appears in the thread title and Morgbug is the first to reply.

Coincidence? 

[Morgbug]

The word "old" appears in the thread title and Morgbug is the first to reply.

Coincidence? 

No, if it were a coincidence Dale would have been the first to reply

[Jesse James]

[Rob]

We're in business.

Now we just wait a little while to see if the Ghost shows up.  Then if  he doesn't we'll re-evaluate and say some more mumbo jumbo.

If that fails, we start looking for the non-believer among us - altough at the moment we probably need more people.

[Famine]

Count me in.

Kevin

[Scott]

Can I throw in his last known picture, sort of make all of us remind us of him and what a man he had become at his untimely demise

[Rob]

Okay.  It might be time to re-evaluate.  Or maybe I'm just being impatient.

[Jeff]

What the?  AAAAAAAHHHHHH!



I am the Ghost of Virex...

I have taken over this shell to speak with you all. 

Leave me alone, dammit!  I'm living the good life, hanging with Kurt C. and Jimi H, listening to the all-Heaven band jam and cruising Sorority Houses at night.  Life as a Ghost is Good.  Stop messing it up by calling me back here.

Thanks.

ps.
I miss you guys 



Huh?  What the heck just happened?

[Rob]

Ah, a posession.

It's a start but we need to get the actual ghost in here.

[C]

ok, look: first off, you need one of these:



then we all need to wear black and sit uncomfortably close together, holding hands:



we may need some museum guards, as well:



and we need some philip glass music or something.

or you can just go the MB route:



but seriously, we really need to be wearing black, at least. i'm sure one of you is wearing plaid or listening to hanson. you know who you are. you're throwing this all off.

[jjks]

I'm actually wearing a pair of these, but Virex bought them for me so I assumed they would be acceptable. Am I wrong?

[Ghost of Virex]

I thought those underwear were for my eyes only 

I'm now going to haunt your bedroom and ward off any usurpers

Avenge!

[Rob]

Well I'll be damned.

It worked.

Now, we have to communicate with the ghost.  Let's ask it some questions...

Ghost of Virex?  How did you die?

And what are you wearing?