Author Topic: DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (Complete)  (Read 121264 times)

Offline Artoo

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (update MAY 19th)
« Reply #195 on: June 28, 2006, 11:57 PM »
Same here,how mant more chapters are there?
KAY-BEE STANDARD RESPONSE:  "All we have is 1990's 'Robocop' toys."
WHICH MEANS:  "Holy ******* ****, please shoot m

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (update MAY 19th)
« Reply #196 on: June 30, 2006, 12:14 PM »
Same here,how mant more chapters are there?

ARTOO:  Act III, which these 3 chapters begin, should be only 12 chapters total.  I will add an Epilogue to wrap up the story, though.

Well no more waiting.  Here are the Chapters 34, 35, and 36.  Special thanx to YESTERDAY808 on Rebelscum, who added the special effects to make the battle come to life.  I apologize in advance for some blurry pics.

Enjoy!!!  8)
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (update MAY 19th)
« Reply #197 on: June 30, 2006, 12:16 PM »


Chapter 34

Several weeks have passed since the creation of the 501st Legion and Shocktroopers.  While the Battle of Oner will be waged on a far away planet, tensions still run high on Coruscant, despite the high level of security.

Padme Amidala:   Thank you, R2.  That will be all.
R2D2:    (beep whistle beep)

Bail Organa:   With the Galactic Security now in place, the Chancellor’s approval rating is the highest it has ever been during the War.  He will have no problem passing any of his new legislation.

Meena Tillis:   But even you must admit, Senator Organa, the Chancellor has brought back a feeling of peace and security to Coruscant.  The economy is flourishing with just the mere presence of the 501st. 

Meena Tillis:   What do you think, Senator Amidala?  Has the Chancellor not succeeded in providing a new level of security for the Republic?
Padme Amidala:    He has done that, I have to admit. 

Padme Amidala:   But at what expense?  The Separatists’ leaders will never agree to a peace summit if they feel threatened by the 501st.  I feel their existence will only prolong the War.  And as long as there is a War, the Jedi will never return home…

Bail Organa:   Senator Amidala is right.  Just the other day I heard the 501st raided Dexter’s Diner.  They believed it was a secret meeting place for local terrorists.
Meena Tillis:    Those are just rumors.  The HoloNet reported the explosion was caused by a gas leak.

Bail Organa:   Oh, really?  Then let me tell you what I saw with my own eyes today, Senator……

Bail Organa:   When I arrived today from Alderaan, I was “greeted” by the 501st.  At first, I was relieved to see the high-level of security around the spaceport.

Bail Organa:   I was asked to show my identification, including my Senate photocard.  In the past, customs agents were familiar with all Senators.

Bail Organa:   The Clone Trooper began asking me various questions, such as my reason for coming to Coruscant, and if I had a residence here.  There was no room for pleasantries with this trooper.

Bail Organa:    However, after an extended amount of time and several more questions, I was cleared and allowed entry.

Padme Amidala:   I don’t understand.  What is so strange about that?
Bail Organa:    Oh, nothing really.  It was what happened after I was cleared, as they questioned the next traveler……a Rodian supposedly from the Outer Rim.

Bail Organa::    I could not here their initial conversation, but it quickly become apparent that the Trooper did not like what the traveler had to say. 

Bail Organa:   The 501st quickly ordered the traveler to place his hands behind his head and to get down on his knees.  The Rodian didn’t seem to understand what was going on.

Bail Organa:   That is when I saw Commander Appo approach the traveler…

Bail Organa:   …and strike him. 

Padme Amidala:   No!  But how could they just hit him without proper cause?
Bail Organa:    I soon found out…

Bail Organa:    Commander Appo then approached me.  He said the traveler was a dangerous terrorist with ties to the Separatist movement.  He asked me to leave, for my own safety, of course..

Bail Organa:    What else could I do……

Meena Tillis:   But what happened to the traveler?
Bail Organa:   They proceeded with their ‘interrogation’.

Bail Organa:   I fear that the 501st and the Chancellor have already begun to abuse their powers.  And now there are rumors of a secret cloning facility right here on Coruscant.

Mena Tillis:    While I agree the treatment of the foreign traveler was a bit harsh, we must understand we live in dangerous times.  Change is never easy.  But those who have nothing to hide should not  fear the  501st, like us.

Bail Organa:   Nevertheless, if a Jedi were involved with Commander Appo, I seriously doubt this incident would have occured. 
Padme Amidala:    We must make it a priority that a Jedi be assigned to oversee the 501st.  Even if it means forcing the Chancellor to appoint one himself.

Meena Tillis:   Very well.  I will call for a vote at the next Senate session.
Bail Organa:    Let me speak to the Chancellor privately first.  Perhaps there is more to the situation than we know.  Until then, let’s call it a night.  It is getting late.

Bail Organa:   Good night, M’Lady……Senator Tillis.
Meena Tillis:   Until tomorrow, Senators.
Padme Amidala:    Good evening to you both.

Padme Amidala:    (deep sigh)

R2D2:   (curious whistle)
Padme Amidala:    I’m fine, R2.  I’m just a little tired, that’s all.  Tell 3PO that I am retiring for the night.

R2D2:   (woooooooooo)

-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Chapters 34, 35, & 36
« Reply #198 on: June 30, 2006, 12:17 PM »

Chapter 35

Jedi Master Mace Windu & Kit Fisto are the first to arrive on Oner.  Accompanied by Commander Gree and the Elite Corps, they prepare for the upcoming battle and the rescue of Saesee Tiin.

Commander Oddball:   We are approaching the landing point, General..

Mace Windu:   Continue to scan the area for any large creatures.
Commander Gree:   Commander Oddball, set the ship down near that flattened area.

Commander Oddball:   Yes, sir.  Our scanners indicate nothing in the area.

Commander Gree:   General, do you see how the vegetation in that area is flattened?  It’s a clear  indication that a rancor has been here recently.
Mace Windu:   When we land, verify the tracks.  We don’t want any unexpected visitors.

Sgt. Trooper Psi:   What a desolate place this is. 
Kit Fisto:   Don’t let your eyes deceive you, trooper.  Even in the ugliest places, beauty can be found.

Commander Gree:   Stay with ship, General.  My men and I will take a look around first.
Mace Windu:   Be sure to stay in contact.  I will contact my informant and have him meet us as soon as possible.

Commander Gree:   Sergeant Psi – take Trooper Chi with you and check the hillside.  Phi and I will cover the lower areas.
Trooper Phi:   It will be dark soon.  We better get moving.

A few hours later……

Trooper Phi:   No signs of any life anywhere, sir.  Including droids……
Mace Windu:   That’s not entirely accurate.  You’re just not looking in the right places, trooper.

Commander Gree:   I was right.  A rancor has been through here.  See the broken branches?  These tracks are fresh, perhaps no more than a couple of hours.  Difficult to tell if this was caused by more than one rancor, though.
Trooper Phi:   I don’t understand how something that big can hide so easily.

Commander Gree:   The rancor has adapted to this environment.  Its hunting skills have been sharpened.  We must be cautious----
Sgt. Trooper Psi over comlink:   Commander!  We found something!  You better take a look at this.  I’m sending you our coordinates!

Commander Gree:   We’re on our way!  Whatever it is, do not engage the target until I arrive!
Sgt. Trooper Psi:   No need to worry about that, Commander.   

Sgt. Trooper Psi:   We’re already outnumbered.
Trooper Chi:   I count a total of 8 droids.

Commander Gree:   Have they spotted us?
Sgt. Trooper Psi:   No, sir.  Looks like they are still setting up their defenses. 

Commander Gree:   We’ve arrived sooner than they expected.  Those turrets will keep our gunships grounded……for now.

Commander Gree:   And there are some droidekas patrolling the outer perimeter.

Sgt. Trooper Psi:   Shall we take them down, sir?
Commander Gree:   No, Cody and his men have that responsibility.  We’re here to scout the enemy’s location and rescue Saesee Tiin.

Commander Gree:   I don’t see any……wait a minute……is that?………OOM-12 is down there.  The Separatist ARE serious about holding this planet.
Sgt. Trooper Psi:   Who or what is an OOM-12, sir?

Commander Gree:   OOM-12 is the Droid Commander down there.  He was programmed specifically for open-field warfare.  Reports are that he has never lost a battle.  This operation just got more difficult.  Come on……let’s get back to camp.
Sgt. Trooper Psi:   Yes, sir.

Some time later, aboard the gunship KIMCHARISE……

Commander Gree:   With OOM-12 directing the droid army, I suggest a new strategy.  We should concentrate our attack on the barracks first.  Once their defenses are weakened, we shouldn’t have a problem entering their base.
Mace Windu:   And hopefully find Saesee inside.  Good work, Commander.  We’ll go with your new plan.

Shade:   …and walk right into their trap.

Commander Gree:   Halt!  Identify yourself!!
Mace Windu:   You can relax, Commander.  This is my informant, Special Ops Trooper Shade.

Shade:   Took your time getting here, didn’t you, Jedi?

Mace Windu:   We came as soon as we could, Shade. 
Commander Gree:   It takes time to research and assemble the right strike team.  We will not fail in our mission.

Shade:   And while you play “Commander”, I have to keep tabs on what the Droid Army is doing to prepare for your arrival.  Remind me not to get captured if it means waiting for you guys to rescue me.

Mace Windu:   That’s enough.  We’re wasting time arguing.    What is their attack plan, Shade?

Shade:   The Separatist knew you were coming with an assault team.  Therefore, they have spread out their army.  They’ve relocated Master Saesee Tiin to an abandoned village on the far side of the ridge.  He is being held in one of the huts there, for “safe-keeping”.

Mace Windu:   Commander, begin reconnaissance on the village.
Commander Gree:   Yes, sir, right away.

Mace Windu:   What else have you discovered?
Shade:   I have been monitoring all transmissions sent from their base. 

Shade:   Most of the transmissions were sent to Trade Federation starships, ordering them to land their droid armies.  But I intercepted one transmission unlike all the others.
Mace Windu:   Why?  What was different about it?

Shade:   It was sent to a private transmitter on Coruscant.  I’ve just recently pinpointed the exact location of the receiver……in The Works area.
Mace Windu:   The old manufacturing section of Coruscant?  That is where you encountered the two Royal Guards before.

Mace Windu:   This may the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith Lord.
Commander Gree:   But I checked that place from top to bottom.  There was no one there.

Mace Windu:   Go back and check it again.  The Sith Lord will show up again.  And when he does, I want you there to identify him.

Shade:   And then what? 
Mace Windu:   Contact Master Yoda immediately.  He will handle it from there.  DO NOT attempt to apprehend the Sith Lord by yourself.  Wait for help, Shade.

Shade:   As you wish……Jedi.

-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline S_A_Longhorn

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DARK ILLUSIONS - Chapters 34, 35, & 36
« Reply #199 on: June 30, 2006, 12:22 PM »

Chapter 36

Joined by Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, the Clones of the 212th Battalion are prepared to defeat the Droid Army.  Following the coordinates given by Commander Gree, Commander Cody & the 212th begin their important mission on the plains of Oner.

Commander Cody:   The gunship cannot get any closer without taking fire from the turrets.  Check your ammo and supplies one last time, troopers.

Commander Cody:   Everybody out! 

Commander Cody:   We’ll wait for General Kenobi’s gunship to land.  Keep a lookout for any droids or rancors.

Trooper Dagda:   We’re approaching the rendezvous point, sir.
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Very good, trooper.

Anakin Skywalker:   I thought Commander Gree was exaggerating about the conditions on Oner.  In reality, it’s worse than he described.

Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Do give it a chance, Anakin.  We’ve only just arrived.

Anakin Skywalker:   There’s something not right……something…distant…hiding……

Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Don't center on your anxiety, Anakin. Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs.  Here comes Cody now.

Commander Cody:   We’re ready to move out, General. 
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Lead the way.

Commander Cody:   Lock and load, troopers!  Let’s move out!

Anakin Skywalker:   ……hmph……

Rancor:   (distant low growl)

Some time later……

Trooper Daiki:   Commander, possible targets up ahead.
Commander Cody:   Everybody down!  Switch to private comlink frequency 2-1-5.

Commander Cody:   Let us check it out first, sir.

Anakin Skywalker:   What?!  Come on, let’s take them out now!
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Calm down, Anakin.  Let them do their job.

Commander Cody on private comlink:   Stay low.  Sa’dia & Hadi – circle around to the left.  The rest of us will go right.
Troopers Sa’dia & Hadi on private comlink:   Yes, sir.

Trooper Sa’dia on private comlink:   I have a visual, Commander --- two battle droids on patrol.

Trooper Hadi on private comlink:   They’re coming this way.

Commander Cody on private comlink:   We’ll distract them. 
(A rock hits the ground.)

Battle Droid 3125:   What was that?
Battle Droid 2945:   Probably just a critter.

Battle Droid 3125:   Let’s check it out.
Battle Droid 2945:   Roger, roger!
(Laser blast! Laser blast!)

Trooper Sa’dia on private comlink:   They’re down.
Commander Cody on private comlink:   Good work, troopers.

Meanwhile, at the Droid Army Command Post……

Battle Droid 1750:   Two droid transmitters just went out.
OOM-12:   Send all nearby units to investigate.

OOM-12:   Activate the rest of the droids.

Back on the plains of Oner……

Trooper Daiki on private comlink:   Several targets fast approaching from the south, sir.
Commander Cody on private comlink:   Prepare to fire.

Battle Droid 4152:   Clone troopers identified!  CHARGE!

Commander Cody:   OPEN FIRE!!!

Battle Droid 4152:   …clone…troopers……identi----

Trooper Daiki on private comlink:   More droids approaching from the east.
Battle Droid 4325:   CHARGE!

Commander Cody on private comlink:   Sa’dia – Hadi - Ra’d – Dagda – try to flank the droids on the right side.
Troopers on private comlink:   Yes, sir!

Troopers Daikia on private comlink:   We’ve got more droids incoming, Commander.

Commander Cody on private comlink:   Take evasive action!

Trooper Ra’d:   Magna guards!!!

Electro-staffs ignite.

Anakin Skywalker:   How about now?
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   OK, now they need our help.

Anakin Skywalker:   First one to 100 kills wins!
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   This is not a competition, Anakin.



Anakin Skywalker:   Always doing things the hard way, Master……
Force crunch!

Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Always showing off, Anakin……

Anakin Skywalker:   Tied 1-1.
Obi-Wan Kenobi:   Anakin……this is not a competition…

Trooper Dagda:   Droidekas!!! 

Trooper Ba’al:   Where?!?!  I can’t see them!!!
Trooper Dagda:   Scamble!  Scramble!  Scramble!

Droidekas disengage and open fire.

Anakin Skywalker:   2 TO 1!!

Anakin Skywalker:   3 TO 1!!!

OOM-12:   Continue the assault.  Begin Operation: Nightcrawler. 

Commander Cody:   They’ve splintered us.  Relay the emergency coordinates to everyone.  We need to regroup!
Trooper Daiki:   Yes, sir!  Code Orange:  Regroup at points 3-4-2-8!

Laser blasts and explosions fill the air.
Trooper Daiki over private comlink:   Code Ora……group……points……2-8!
Trooper Dagda:   Didn’t copy!   Come in!   I’ve lost my visual.   Where is everybody??

Trooper Daiki:   Dagda has been separated from the squad, sir.  But I have his coordinates.
Commander Cody:   Then let’s get to him before the droids do. 

Trooper Dagda over private comlink:   Didn’t copy!!  Repeat!!!  Wha----who are you?!?!    No, wait ---- AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Commander Cody:   DAGDA?!

Comander Cody over private comlink:   Hold on, trooper!  We’re on our way!!!

Trooper Daiki:   How is he, sir?
Commander Cody:   He’s……he’s gone.  We’re too late. 

Commander Cody:   He was stabbed with some type of spear.
Trooper Daiki:   A spear?

Trooper Ba’al:   It was my fault.  I knew this was his first real combat.  I should have never let him out of my sight.

Commander Cody:   Don’t blame yourself, Ba’al.  Dagda knew the danger of this mission.  But we have to leave him behind.  Leave a marker, and we will return for him.
Trooper Ba’al:   But sir---

Commander Cody:   I don’t want to leave him anymore than you do, Ba’al.  But we are in a critical situation.  The entire mission depends on us reaching their base.  And his death tells us that we must contend with something more dangerous than droids.

OOM-12:   Continue the offensive.  The battle is ours to lose.

OOM-12:   Advance the 3rd and 4th droid armies. 

Sagev:   Notify Count Dooku that the battle will be over shortly.
OOM-12:   Yes, sir.

To be continued……[/b]

Special thanx to YESTERDAY808 on for adding the excellent special effects to really bring the story to life.  Great working with ya, buddy!
« Last Edit: June 30, 2006, 01:10 PM by S_A_Longhorn »
-Sarah Palin to Charlie Gibson, a week before her husband, Todd Palin, refused to cooperate

Offline Jedi_Assassin

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #200 on: June 30, 2006, 12:30 PM »
Awesome special effects, S_A. I like how all of the jedi came out to save their friend. Very nicely done.

Offline jedistyle

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #201 on: June 30, 2006, 12:51 PM »
great update SALonghorn, definetley woth the wait!

- i really liked the pros & cons of the 501st. you really illustrated thier abuse of power well. the spaceport scene reminded me of how an american airport would be after a terroist attack, good job.

- i also really liked how you had each team of clones sticking to thier specific mission tasks, it shows dicipline from the clones.

- i have to say though that shade is my favorite parts of you story. that charecter adds so much to the plot and his attitude is sick. he's defiant to jedi generals, just calling them jedi, i'm not sure how much of that mace might put up with though, and he is defiant to clone commanders mocking thier rank and telling them thier tactics are flawed. he's a real rebel and i like him!

again great job, the plot is great and as always i enjoy how you make such good sets out of simple household objects! i'll look forward to the next update.
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Offline BrentS

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #202 on: June 30, 2006, 01:22 PM »
GREAT update!  Your storytelling is so good.  I can easily vision all of the characters saying the dialog you put together.  I love the way you compose your shots.  All Photonovelers can really learn something from how you frame these images. Awesome! 

My only criticism, is I have a hard time imagining a clone trooper acting in that fashion.  I'm guessing you are going to explain it somehow in a future installment but it seems a bit harsh.  However, I love the postions you were able to put the 501st in.  Especially the Appo elbow in the chest.  Excellent postioning!

EDIT :  I've only read chapter 35 at the time of writing this.  I'll have to go back and catch up on the next two chapters too!!
« Last Edit: June 30, 2006, 01:24 PM by BrentS »

Offline CloneCommander1

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #203 on: June 30, 2006, 01:32 PM »
Fantastic!  I love the scenes with the 501st.  I actually find them very belivable, seeing as at least appo, and possibly all of the 501st, were bred diffrently.   The parts with shade are some of my favorite parts of the story, very mysterious.  I loved the battle scenes with the 212th, Yesterday did a nice job on the effects.  A testamant to your storytelling abbilities is how sad I felt for the clone that the utapaun killed, that takes skill at storytelling to do.  All in all, great job, can't wait for more! :)
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Offline Jedi_Assassin

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #204 on: June 30, 2006, 01:36 PM »
I did find one grammer error in Bail's flashback.

Offline Roton7

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #205 on: June 30, 2006, 01:51 PM »
This is the best PN of all time! I absolutely loved the last chapter! You make the battle seem so realistic! Excellent job!!
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Offline Smartypants1635

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #206 on: June 30, 2006, 05:31 PM »
I did find one grammer error in Bail's flashback.

LOL you're the one to talk. LOL

Great Job SA, I really enjoyed these last 3 chapters.

I hate the 501st now even more,those slimey bastards.
That Rancor stalking them is very creepy, And why is it always the one guy that gets seperarted from the squad is killed by the Pau'an ???

All around good job, Hurry up with the next one.

Offline 212th Battalion

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #207 on: June 30, 2006, 09:15 PM »
Awsome! I LOVED IT!  ;D :o
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Offline Quazar

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #208 on: July 1, 2006, 02:48 PM »
AMAZING chapter, Longhorn!  I loved the battle itself, the emphasis on the tactics.  It was extremely well done, you could feel the confusion and frustration of the troopers.

Awesome work, will try to post detailed comments.  but, as usual, I loved the friggin' thing!
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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: DARK ILLUSIONS - Photonovel (Update June 30th)
« Reply #209 on: July 1, 2006, 02:55 PM »
Nice update SA.  The Bail/Padem scene was pretty good, but I was looking forward to more action in your series and we got it further down.

Nice seeing more droids, and the battle was very well done, I loved how Anakin and Obi Wan joined in.  The orange clones look good, but seemed out of place - I think that their orange deco in ROTS was intended for the background on Utapua and to sort of "blend in" - out in grassy areas I don't think they'd wear their Utapua assault gear.

But what really did this for me was the special effects.  Did you do those?  Wow.  Without them the battle would have still been nice, but that really added life to it.