DARK ILLUSIONS Photonovel (Complete)

[jedistyle]

wow, those where a couple really good chapters. a big mission about to start fot the jedi and new clones for courscant.

the dialog was very good. especially the briefing from gree and the holocastfrom palpatine, very well done.

i also really liked the fact that you gave the names and purposes of thew clone units, the details where great additions to the story.

again, a great couple chapters. thanks for sharing them.

[Roton7]

Wow! I really loved the one with Palps on the HoloNet, it was neat to see the "introduction" of the 501st and shockies! Nice work!

[Quazar]

Awesome update!!!

I don't have time for an appropriately detailed review and for that, I'm sorry.

But I love this story and I loved the new chapter.  that briefing scene is just friggin' fantastic.

I'll try to write more soon.  But your stories never cease to amaze.  The dialogue is excellent, perfectly in character, and I can't wait to see us get back into the action (not that I don't like the character/plot driven chapters like this, too)

Awesome, awesome, awesome!

[BrentS]

Great Update!!!!

I love your story but it is so intriguing.  It seems like the plot could just be an extended scene before ROTS.  You do such an amazing job changing up the character position during their dialog exchange.  However, as good as your characters and photos are, its your dialog writing that is top notch.  Well done!!

I love to see the introduction of Cody to the 212 and the initiation of the 501st and Shocktroopers.  Awesome foreshadowing.

[S_A_Longhorn]

Thanx for all the feedback guys.  Very glad to read the dialogue worked.  That was the hardest part of this update, since the pics were simple.

JEDISTYLE:  Glad you liked the briefing chapter.  I wanted to give Gree one chapter to spotlight his knowledge for speicies and systems.  I really wanted to answer some questions people had about Oner, and the history.  the HoloCast by Palpatine was more simpler than i originally intended.  Some of the effects became too complicated for me to do.  So I decided to just showcase Palpatine speaking directly into the camera, with a couple shots of the Shockies and the 501st.

ROTON7:   I have been waiting a long time to get the Shocktroopers and 501st into the story.  To do it within the story, I needed to build up the story.  They both will have some fun chapters in Act III.

Quazar:   Thanx for checking in, QUAZAR!  It's been a while since I've read your comments.  Look forward to your full-length feedback.  Since these three chapters were all "talking head" chapters, I wanted to really include a lot details to keep everyone's interest.  I came up with the mission specifics during the breifing since they will be important later.  And a bit of forshadowing.  I really appreciate all the feedback regarding the dialogue too!

BRENTS:  I'm not sure exactly how I will fit the story into ROTS, but it is ramping up to it.  I think it is fun to explore some of the things seen or mentioned in ROTS.  The final Act will lead up to a certain part in the SW story.  Thanx for the comments on the dialog and character positions.  It is essential in these chapters, since it is so dialogue-heavy.  The battle is coming for Cody, the 212th, and the Jedi!

Thanx again for the comments guys.  Really appreciate all the great feedback regarding the dialogue.  The final Act should be filled with action with the plot boiling over.  Hopefully my updates can be more consistent from here on out.  Stay tuned! 

[CHEWIE]

SA, good additions to your storyline.  This Dark Illusions has really compiled a lot of chapters, I am wondering where the end point to it will be, if it will be right up to the the events starting at ROTS?

I have a couple of suggestions, and don't take these wrong, they're just ideas I would try. 


(1) I know you don't customize much, but if you were to swap out the knees on your Cody with a Utapua Clone, Cody would be a better height.  Hasbro made that figure way too short.  It really shows up in this picture with the angle you used -



He just looks so out of place... damn Hasbro.  It's a pretty simple change if you want to try it though for future stories.


(2) I think the dialogue with Palpatine was excellent, but a bit repetive in the pictures.  Some side angles of him, or more views of his audience here would have been nice.  It's always hard though to try and do a lot of dialogue without it getting boring, but you always seem to pull it off.


(3) The leaning clone in the meeting... it was ok for a pic, but it seemed like every pic of him in the crowd he was always leaning like that, I think that maybe doing some very slight hand positioning in the crowd some more would have made them look a little less static and interacting with what Gree was saying.


(4) Loved the Rancor flashback pics, using the pet carrier is a good idea for a cage.


(5) Is that a Thire custom you did?  It looks great!




Well done SA, and thanks for continuing to bring this series to us.

 

[S_A_Longhorn]

Hey, CHEWIE, always good to read your comments!

No offense taken, you actually made me smile & laugh while reading your comments.  You were dead-on about some things!

RE: (1)  You're right about Cody!  What a shrimp!  Perhaps if I find another Cody & Utapau Clone, I'll send them to you to do the "knee surgery", since I would just end up destroying both figs.  Need to sign up for your Figure Anatomy class. 

RE: (2)  My original vision of Palpatine's Republic address had various shots of Senators, clones, and Jedi watching him during key parts of his speech.  But those pics would have been complicated for me, since I would have to use some type of monitor for them to be looking at.  That would include some photoshopping of Palpatine himself.  In the end, I crapped out of trying and just used simple pics.  I also thought of using the BP Senate Pod in various shots, but thought against it.  However, I knew I had to breakup the Palpy pics, so I inserted shots of Thire, Appo, the Shockies, and the 501st.  Perhaps I'll go back and take some more time for the re-release!

RE: (3) Your comments are very true about moving the Clones around a bit more.  I tried posing them all different, but never went back for subtle changes.  And that one Clone was sleeping!

RE: (4)  You nailed the pet carrier!!!  My dog didn't mind - I paid him in Greenies.

RE: (5)  Thought that pic of Thire would get your attention.  Sorry to say, not a custom.  Just a simple cut & paste of the Evolutions III head to a beheaded Shocktrooper.  I knew I could do a simple photoshop edit with Paintbrush, so I took a pic of the Shocktrooper holding his head/helmet, and then posed the Evo III clone in the exact same spot so the lighting would match.  In the end, it came out perfect!

Thanx again for all the feedback tho.  Glad to be back in the swing of things with the photonovels. 

[CHEWIE]

I'm glad to see you update again too SA, it's always a pleasure to see your updates.  So that was an edited pic, wow - that looks like the real thing, I never would have thought it was edited.  Great work.

If you want me to do a knee surgery custom, I'll be more than happy to for free.

 

[Artoo]

I can't wait for the next chapters!

[Word_Weaver]

I added this page to my favorites- check it every day! Bring on more chapters!

[S_A_Longhorn]

Thanx for the feedback guys.

CHEWIE:  I'll let you know about the Cody Leg Surgery.  Easy to find Utapau Clones in my area now, but Cody is still HTF.  Thanx for the offer tho!  I'll let you know.

Artoo:  Working on the detailed outline currently for the next 3 chapters, the beginning of Act III.

Word Weaver:  Welcome WEAVER.  Thanx for the your feedback.  Next update will be a couple of weeks away.  Still working on the details.  Can you mark a thread as a favorite on the JD forums??

[Smartypants1635]

SA, I love this latest installment, great Job, and If you want to Start in an "Anaomy Class" There are tons of great ones over at FFURG, and just so you know the ball joints pop the same way as peg arms so just follow thse tutorials, and im sure you could do it.

OK, Now on to the PN great Job, I love how you made that one clone falll asleep, would have been funny if the clone next to him woke him up. THe Rancor shot was great too, and the 501st garrison and the Shockies were awesome, that had to take a bunch of Photoshop skills to make thire.

[Word_Weaver]

Thanx for the feedback guys.

CHEWIE:  I'll let you know about the Cody Leg Surgery.  Easy to find Utapau Clones in my area now, but Cody is still HTF.  Thanx for the offer tho!  I'll let you know.

Artoo:  Working on the detailed outline currently for the next 3 chapters, the beginning of Act III.

Word Weaver:  Welcome WEAVER.  Thanx for the your feedback.  Next update will be a couple of weeks away.  Still working on the details.  Can you mark a thread as a favorite on the JD forums??

Nah, I added it to my internet browser's favorite sites list. So I can go to it as if I was choosing Jedidefender, Runescape..etc. 

[S_A_Longhorn]

SMARTYPANTS:  Thire was actually easy to photoshop.  I did in MS Paint.  Simply took a pic of the Shocktrooper holding his helmet, then took a pic of the Evo Clone in he same exact spot, to keep the lighting the same.  Cut and paste on top of the white knob of the Shocktrooper.  If I can do it, anybody can!  The sleeping Clone was by accident, and I should have done more with Gree's "captivated" audience.    I'll look into the "Anatomy" tutorials.

Word Weaver:  Gotcha!  Thanx for bookmarking this thread!

Still working on the details for the next three chapters.  Some unexpected news has delayed me, but well worth it!  Details later...

[Word_Weaver]

Also, I think it's nice you have everything in one topic. Having to find old chapter topics for one series is really a pain. Chapter 3 could be on page 9, Chapter 2 on page 3, etc. It's nice to have them together and in order.