Author Topic: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger  (Read 1552 times)

Offline In Rem

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K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« on: June 12, 2006, 02:03 AM »
Chapter 1, in case you missed it.
Chapter 2, in case you missed it.




Odos Five: A planet stripped of life, riddled with mines, and on the cusp of ruin. Deep in a cavernous mine, old rivals meet to discuss new and important matters...



Commander Sekto Gunray enters to meet his Geonosian adversary, Captain Du'aad.

Captain Du'aad: Commander Gunray, you will excuse our intrusion, but you have been quite unreachable of late...

Sekto Gunray: Captain Du'aad. I wish I could say your visit pleases me.

Du'aad: Your approval of my visit is the least of your worries, Sekto. You owe our master a report, and I've been instructed to do whatever may be necessary to get one from you.

Gunray: You will call me "sir" or "commander" on this base, Du'aad, and you will not refer to me by my first name!

I realize my people's reputation for cowardice is one you relish, but don't think for a moment that I won't have your stinking shell emptied at my feet if you disrespect me or my command!


The Geonosian captain is taken aback by the outburst by Sekto. It was true this nephew of the Neimoidian leader Nute Gunray was more fierce than most of his kind, but the venom with which he defended his command was worthy of the highest of CIS generals.


Gunray: With that, I bid you follow me this way, Du'aad. It seems you want a report, and you shall have it.

Commander Gunray starts down a darkened hall leading from the mine's atrium. Du'aad and his guard follow close behind.



Du'aad proceeds to deliver his message, a message he'd traveled across the galaxy to deliver personally.

Du'aad: Commander... Count Dooku's patience wears thin. You were placed in command of this facility based upon your promises that you would deliver increased numbers of battle droids. You also promised superior weapons. Yet we sit here a full six months after your assignment, and we see nothing change. In fact, considering the resources the Confederacy has committed to you, your production is down. Understand that I have no concern for whether you live or die, Commander, but with the capacity this planet has for producing droids, I most certainly take an interest in seeing it perform to its potential...



Gunray appears disinterested as Du'aad lays out his grievance. Despite his best efforts to sound forceful, Du'aad's lecture seems to fall on deaf ears. He commits to one more attempt to reach the commander.

Du'aad: Unless you can tell me why these numbers are wrong, Commander, we have a serious problem...

Gunray slings his helmet in the direction of the nearest battle droid, and simultaneously snatches Du'aad's data pad from his claws.

Gunray: DROID! My helm...

The droid's arm springs to life, and Gunray's helmet comes to rest as if on a hanger.



Commander Gunray's body language speaks volumes as he marches down the hall hunched over the data pad. As he moves away from Du'aad he finishes the conversation the Geonosian attempted to control.

Gunray: Know this, Du'aad; when Count Dooku receives delivery of what I have prepared for him, not only will he gladly oblige me in making powder of your skeleton, but he will likely appoint me ruler of your pathetic planet so I can crush your brothers and sisters under my heels. You waltz in here with your threats, completely oblivious to what's really going on here...

Du'aad stands in stunned silence, pondering whether the dusty mines of Odos Five have rotted the Neimoidian's tiny brain.



Gunray: Consider your mission accomplished. Your message is received.

Get back on your ship and go back to your commanding officers. Tell them I send a message of my own. Tell them to stay off Odos Five until I say otherwise, and tell them...




...Count Dooku shall have his Monster in due course.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2006, 01:14 AM by In Rem »

Offline Quazar

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2006, 02:10 AM »
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!!!!!


Sekto, uh, I mean Commander Gunray is quite the formidable foe!

A very intriguing chapter!  I love the ominious shot of what is presumably the new IG style battle droid he is developing! 

A great chapter, albeit one that is largely set-up.  I hope that Gunray is a recurring villain in the story, he's very cool!   Sharp dialogue, lovely images and, as always, stellar characterizations.

Keep these coming!!!!

Sith Lords Are Our Speciality

Offline PenDragon

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2006, 08:26 AM »
I LOVE IT.  WOW!

Awesome storytelling! Way to break steriotypes! Great Characters! Truly superb dialog! BEAUTIFUL into to the IG! I love this story

M - O - R - E.

now.

Quit your job until K.O.E. is a finished PN, movie, and novelization.

 :-\  No? Meh, it was worth a try  ;)   

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2006, 10:22 AM »
I really liked this on In Rem.  It might have been a bit hard to follow at first, as I wasn't 100% sure which character was which, but I figured it out as the story went on.  I wish the chapter was a little longer, as this seems like a cruel trailer for a larger story... meaning I can't wait for you to update again!!   ;D

The conversations seemed very life like, and it's always cool seeing a Nemoidian with a bit more edge to him, as most of them are cowards.  Surely there are those out there who are brave like Sekto Gunray seems to be.

Well done, and as always the pics are excellent.

 :)

Offline BrentS

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2006, 10:39 AM »
LOVE IT!

Your photography skills are just top notch.  I've really tried to emulate the way you put these shots together (plus you inspired the letterbox approach on my PN). 

This short snippet of a story is great and I love the set-up for the IG droid.  In my mind, that is most of the fun of these PNs, trying to tie in real star wars stories with our own fan-fiction.

Please keep updating!

(by the way, the Nemoidian looks like a real baddy.  I'm wondering what his voice would sound like since we are so used to the cheesy neimoidian voices)

Offline The_Tin_Man

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2006, 10:42 AM »
WOW Great chapter. ;D I can't wait to see more. Keep up the great work.  :)

Offline Brisk Arper

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2006, 11:17 AM »
awsome....looking forward to more!!!
 ;D ;D ;D
in the words of a famous admiral......

ITS A TWAP!!!

Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2006, 12:57 PM »
Thanks for the feedback, guys. I was thinking about holding this chapter for later, but I really thought it would serve as a good, short distraction as I'm in my posting slump, plus it does serve to set up Odos Five a bit.

Quazar: Gunray is indeed a major player here. Dont' expect him to be far from the fray as things come to a head. Expect to see much less of Du'aad and other Seps, as Gunray has drawn a pretty clear line in the sand here.

The IG Droid will also be central, although I have yet to really flesh him out. He's an old custom I want to give some life to.

PenDragon: Sorry, dude, I can't quit my job. :) I am very pleased with your kind comments.

CHEWIE: I added a small bit of setting language before Du'aad starts in. See if that helps a little. It was pretty confusing, I think. As to the length of the chapter, I always try to think of chapters in terms of moving the story along. This does it with very little substance. If I'd have poured too much into telling you about these guys, it probably would have taken their edge off. There's nothing more compelling - to me - than the mysterious villain. We know Gunray's different, but what else do we know? Not much, and that's how I want it. :P The next chapter I have planned will be looooooong. Originally it was Chapter 3, but after setting the table in Chapters 1 and 2, what is now Chapter 4 might have been tedious without knowing what they were up against.

BrentS: Thanks, man. I have to say your PN has come along so beautifully, I had to get my hands dirty again before you made everyone forget about Sedo. :) Rest assured Sekto is very aware of his others perception of him. His voice sounds as sinister as he can make it, and while I expect he would have the same breathless quality, it's more rough-edged and uptempo than your typical Neimoidian politico.

And thanks too to The_Tin_Man and master brisk arpor!

Please keep it coming; I really do take these into account when I move my story along. I can use all the help I can get! :)

Offline Darth_Ennis

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2006, 10:06 PM »
Jeez Rem I don't know how I missed this. This story is getting better and better.
NOw IG-88 makes an appearance,if that is him ( Love the eyes BTW) ;D              I can't wait till the next chapter.

Offline Diddly

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2006, 12:26 AM »
Man, I love your work. The story is fantastic and the pics are wonderful. I'm on the edge of my seat... I want more!

Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2006, 05:16 PM »
Thanks for the comments, guys.

The droid is most certainly some variation on the IG series, but what it's capable of is still a bit of a mystery. :)


Offline 212th Battalion

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2006, 08:16 PM »
how do u get your pics  such a clear nice pic ? my photo novel coroscant fighters is ok  i think but my pics came out blury i mean what can i do about that?
Momar and Fester

Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2006, 09:02 PM »
212 -

1. Use the "Macro" setting on your digital camera. Most digis have this setting. It usually is represented by a flower icon of some sort.

2. *COMPLETELY IMMOBILIZE THE CAMERA* This is critical. In macro mode your camera is likely to shift to a longer exposure. The down side to that is even the slightest movement will blur your edges. I usually have something to sit my camera on, even if just a book or something.

3. Use the shutter switch timer. This is usually set at 20, 10 or 2 seconds. The important thing is you don't want to actually push the button to take the pic - even that pressure can make the lens jostle, causing blur. Use the shutter timer at two seconds. Press the shoot button, release, and let the camera take the pic two seconds later. This trick will reduce blur by more than 80%!

4. Make sure the focus of your picture is in focus. Note how many of my pictures will focus on one subject and allow the others to be blurry. You can choose your depth of field by aiming the focus center at your subject, then moving the camera slightly to account for composition without refocusing. Then click. :)

These either sound really complicated or really simple depending on your experience level. Even if you only use one or two ideas, you will get sharper images. Best of luck!

Offline In Rem

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2006, 01:25 AM »
Images fixed 11/20/06...bump.

Offline Deanna Rash

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Re: K.O.E. Chapter 3: The Messenger
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2006, 11:38 PM »
 ;)This soo Cool ;D
The ablity to speak does not make you intelligent - now get out of here!