Author Topic: RE #17 - TWISTED ALLEGIANCE  (Read 6434 times)

Offline CHEWIE

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« on: November 22, 2005, 12:20 PM »

Above the highly populated city planet Coruscant, a lone Republic Assault Cruiser returns home from a desperate mission.

As Rykrof Enloe looks upon the heart of the Republic, he knows all too well that his recent decision may have cost him not only his career, but a friendship he has known all his life.

Prior to arriving on Dathomir, spending a much needed day with his family was all he wanted; one more day with his loving wife; another chance to see his newborn son.  He then finds himself reflecting on the recent events that nearly cost him his life.

Arriving a day late on Dathomir was all the time the Badoo Corba terrorist organization needed to escape the planet before Rykrof's squad arrived...

...and before a surprise attack by a large Separatist force left Rykrof and his surviving troops stranded on the planet.

Even for a fully trained warrior, facing the dangers of the hostile planet proved to be deadly.

By a stroke of luck, Rykrof stumbled upon the abandoned Badoo Corba base and was able to download invaluable information before leaving the complex...

...and befriended others stranded on the planet.

But avoiding the relentless droids of the Confederacy searching for them and the terrible rancors seemed to be the least of their worries... Count Dooku sent the evil Asajj Ventress to hunt down any Republic survivors.

To Rykrof's horror, a hideous being even more terrible than Ventress haunted the planet.

Even Ventress barely survived the rage of the hideous creature.

Only an undercover rescue attempt by an old Jedi friend had given him hope.

And their desperate struggle finally came to an end.

Regrettably, some did not survive the terrible experience.

Suddenly a deck officer approaches Rykrof. 

"Sir, your shuttle is ready," he says.  "Admiral Gere is awaiting your arrival."

Rykrof then takes one more look at the planet, and wonders what type of reception will be awaiting him.

Soon his shuttle arrives on the surface.

After landing, Rykrof and his group exit the docking bay...

...and are met by a small gathering of military personnel, including Rykrof's old friend, Tylin Gere.

"Commander Enloe," Tylin says, "We've been expecting you.  Many of us were beginning to wonder if you would ever return."

Mystified by the cold greeting, Rykrof hesitates before speaking.  "Yeah, I've returned from the pits of hell, Tylin.  Been gone too long."

"The Republic is grateful to have you back," Tylin replies.  "But when an officer is given orders, they are to be followed without tardiness or delay."

With a nod, Admiral Gere then orders his troops to take Rykrof into custody.

As a trooper reaches for Rykrof, Ralbarr unleashes a thundering roar and begins to lunge for clone.

"Ralbarr, no!" Rykrof warns.  "This won't help me.  I can straighten this myself."

"It saddens me to do this, but personal matters can be discussed at a later time Rykrof," Tylin says as he turns his attention towards Jedi Master Kala Mly Shundi.  "And your friend is very fortunate that the Jedi Council has already spoken to the chancellor on his behalf."

"Just stay put everyone.  I'll get this mess straightened out," Rykrof says.  "Nothing to worry about.  Once they decipher the data cylinders everything will be fine!"

Rykrof is then escorted away.

Traedon Cusiro then turns to Kala Mly Shundi.

"So this is what he was so desperate to get back to?  A government that's turned against him?" he asks.

"The Republic has not turned on Commander Enloe, but he is guilty of delaying his mission which resulted in the terrorists' escape.  I am afraid the military may wish to make an example of him," Master Shundi laments.  "Our only hope is that the data cylinders he and Freelo downloaded will outweigh the charge he faces.  Now, let's take you and your friends to get registered for your stay here on Coruscant."

That evening, with the data provided by Rykrof, news breaks over the galactic holonet that two Republic Senators have been arrested on grounds of treason.  Senators Jyyde and Relin are revealed to be financial supporters of the Badoo Corba, and denounced as enemies of the Republic.

The following morning, however, a powerful blast rocks the Senatorial District...

...and hundreds are killed.

That evening Rykrof is brought before Chancellor Palpatine and informed of his disappointment in Rykrof's decision to put personal matters before his mission, but apologizes for his arrest. 

"The information you brought back is vital," he says.  "It not only solidifies our knowledge of the locations of terror cells throughout the Outer Rim, but you have exposed traitors to the Republic.  With this morning's terrorist attack, it only proves that the Badoo Corba are still a serious threat.  Intelligence indicates that I was their intended target."

"Thank you Chancellor, and I am grateful that you were not injured in the bombing," Rykrof firmly replies.  "But I hope you do understand my priorities in this war."

"Your intentions are always honorable Commander," Palpatine says.  "Admiral Gere understandably has his concerns, but there is no need for an explanation to me.  However your work on your latest mission is incomplete."

"I'm not sure I understand," Rykrof says.  "I've been informed of the Separatist takeover on Telos and on Nikdor..."

"Yes, we have had our setbacks against the Confederacy," Palpatine replies.  "But I am referring to the Badoo Corba.  With the information you gathered on Dathomir, I have recommended to Governor Tarkin that you lead a team to Kobridor."

"The planet has been a battleground between our clone army and the Separatists since the war broke out.  But thanks to your information we now know there is a primary contact of the Badoo Corba on that planet.  Find the Quarren, Tessor, and arrest him.  He, along with Senators Jyyde and Relin are traitors to the Republic.  Successfully complete this mission and as a measure of my gratitude, you willl receive a 30 day absence from the military to be with your family on Naboo."

"Thank you Chancellor," Rykrof says as he observes the holo image of the Quarren traitor.

Later, Rykrof meets with his comrades and some old political friends in a dark corridor to discuss this latest turn of events.

"I don't know what the hell's happening to the Republic," Rykrof says.  "For over 10 years I've done everything I can.  And really, the only reason I'm not in prison right now is because of those damn data cylinders.  Even Tylin has turned against me.  Who's next, my wife?"

"I've told you what's happening Rykrof," Finis Valorum says.  "Palpatine is doing what he can to stay in power beyond his term and gain more control ...he is manipulating everyone ...even you.  It would be best to take your family and go into hiding until this war is over.  Regardless of the outcome, the Republic will lose."

As Valorum and Noop Tonbeeto leave, Senator Tame Heem adds onto Valorum's strong words.  "Finis is a wise man, Rykrof.  He is one of the few without a twisted allegiance.  Unlike the current chancellor, he has no ulterior motives.  You are in no position to challenge anyone on a political level now though.  It may be in your best interest to take his advice."

Rykrof stands stupidly as the allied politicians exit the corridor. 

"Did that conversation not go as you had planned?" Freelo asks.

"Of course it didn't," Traedon says to the Mon Calamari.  "But what do you expect from political freaks?  Rykrof, you know I want to help you on this mission.  But I have to return to Correlia.  Good luck and be safe."

"Same to you,"Rykrof replies.  "I'll contact you after the mission when we get to Naboo."

"Well," Rykrof says, "I guess we better get moving.  We sure as hell wouldn't want to arrive on Kobridor a day late."

As the group begins to exit the corridor, Kala Mly Shundi enters the hallway.

"Rykrof, the Council has granted me permission to accompany you on your mission," the Jedi says.

Soon the group departs the Republic capitol and makes way towards their new destination: the battle ravaged planet Kobridor.

Meanwhile, Count Dooku meets with a nervous Viceroy Nute Gunray on Caito Neimoidia.

"I am uncomfortable with the direction the war is taking," Gunray says.  "We wasted time and resources on Dathomir hunting this Rykrof Enloe.  And why have we not advanced on Coruscant?  Our droid armies outnumber the Republic's genetic clones ten to one!  We can end this war with one strike!"

"Patience Viceroy, patience," Dooku replies.  "Dathomir was merely a lesson for Commander Ventress.... such a move on Coruscant at this time would be foolish.  We have the Republic right where we want them."

"Despite some losses, the war goes well.  It would be unwise to strike at the center of Republic until we are ready."

"With our current strategy, countless Jedi are dying with every passing month."

"And as you pointed out, we have a numeric advantage over our enemy..."

"...and with the Republic once again becoming distracted by the Badoo Corba, their forces will be spread thin...

"...and we may continue our excavation of Rhen Var without interference."


« Last Edit: November 22, 2005, 12:26 PM by CHEWIE »

Offline In Rem

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« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2005, 01:35 PM »
Suh-weet, CHEWIE!

My favorite shot (which might be a surprise to you)

This shot is doing a superb job of telling the story. Without reading a word of text it is clear to me that an evacuation or attack of some kind is underway... all those ships deploying at once... it's an awesome composition.

And this one...

I hope no one is offended by this, but I really thought "car bomb" when I saw this shot.  You've done a good job of representing that kind of strike, and I'm pretty sure that was your objective.

I enjoyed the recap; that kind of context was, IMO, necessary to set up the arrest. And then you hit Palpatine perfectly with his subtle manipulation of Rykrof. Adding a voice of reason to tell RE to run was a nice move, too. It really adds to the tension without forcing you to explain too much.

I was a little bummed that those two senators weren't more prominent, but hey, there's always the prospect of a trial and daring escape (kidding).

Nice work, man. You continue to impress.

Offline Reid

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« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2005, 04:23 PM »
Really great chapter, CHEWIE. I love how Tylin turned in Rykrof, and how Anakin has become Palpatine's bodygaurd.

Offline Diddly

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« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2005, 08:11 PM »
Good stuffs once again, CHEWIE. Good "filler" episode setting up RE's next mission.

Yay! You finally didn't photoshop Dooku's head! It finally blends back in with the other figures, IMO. I know you edited Dooku's head for realism purposes, but I prefer the non edited head. :P

I personally could have done without the flashback from the past episode, but it doesn't take away from the story at all.

And I love how you were able to edit the Coruscant skyline. While it looks sort of computerish/fuzzy, its realistic appearance stands out and outweighs that negative. Good work!

Like I said earlier, another great episode out of you!
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Offline Joe

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« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2005, 08:57 PM »
I love this chapter....I thought  Enclone was in for it. whew...

o and CHEWIE in the pic "many jedi are dying per month" (something like that) the clone pilot is that a yellow stripe I see on his bicep???

 - Joe

Offline Nirvana

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« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2005, 09:29 PM »
Awesome! Great chapter, CHEWIE. I liked Enloe get arrested, totally didn't see that coming. Really good.
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Offline Famine

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« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2005, 11:10 PM »
 >:( I was hoping Rykrof would get to be some one's white bride in prison!

In all seriousness though, I enjoyed this chapter, just a little less than I did the last one. Rykrof has the makings of the new A-Team right there with him, now all he needs now is a trusty ship.

"I ain't gettin' on no damn speeda'!"

I could see it now...

"If wishes were fishes", as mother would say.

A very good filler chapter to say the least my friend! We'll have to chat further about it next time we talk on the phone.

The picture kept, will remind me...

Offline Jediknight760071

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« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2005, 11:21 PM »
I read it fast and will go back to it later, but this is my favorite of the "new" RE Photonovels you've been far. I loved it. It had an OT feel to me. Can't wait to get back to you with more!! :)

Offline blaster_e11

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« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2005, 06:17 AM »
once again you've outdone yourself chewie, it's impressive how professional these pics look

i'm a lil bit concerned about anakin's costume the colors looked weird on my screen

i take it the story takes place before valorum's death, but when exactly ?
"Wars don't make one great"

Offline CHEWIE

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« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2005, 02:48 PM »
Hi everybody, thanks for all the feedback, comments and suggestions.  As usual I'll try and reply to all the questions.

InRem - I like that shot too actually, quite a bit.  I really was hoping to show the Badoo Corba have some punch to them still and there are several of them left, maybe that worked in showing all the little ATL interceptors leaving.  And I think it helped to hopefully look like a hasty retreat by them.

That aftermath pic of the explosion was definitey influenced by car bombings that we see in modern terrorism.  They are a terrible thing, and I hope nobody was offended by it, but I am trying to show the measures the terrorists take, in killing innocents in their war against freedom.

And I'm very glad that you approved of the Dathomir recap, I really felt I needed that to set up the stage for what was about to happen, and for any potential new readers to understand what he was dealing with recently.

HunterofthePegs - Any other comments?  Did this one fulfill your expectations?  I know you had been wondering what might happen next, so I'm hoping you are enjoying the storyline.

Diddly - Yeah, I finally left Dooku's head alone (for the most part - I actually made his pupils darker).  No superimposed faces on there this time, and probably not anymore.  I came close to trying it, but decided against it.

I understand about the flashback maybe being a bit redundant, but it was really intended to both remind people of why he was in hot water, and to help any new readers along the way.

The Coruscant backgrounds are usually tough to make look right.  I'm just not good enough with making the pics look like I want usually, and sometimes reference material is hard to come by.

No Mercy Joe - Thanks, I'm glad you liked it too.  I know it wasn't overly exciting, but I guess that sometimes it's necessary to show some non-combat scenes.  And yes - that's a yellow stripe you see.  I know that in AOTC, they don't have yellow stripes - but in an upcoming story, several of them will.  Maybe a little inconsistent with what we're used to seeing, but kind of prefer them that way.

darth nirvana - You didn't see the arrest coming?  Would you have gone a different route?  I had considered him not getting arrested at all, or actually being treated much more harshly.  Then I decided that a Badoo Corba attack combined with his information in the data cylendars might work. 

Famine - You sicko.  I could have had him thrown in a cell with a horny female Hutt in heat.  You would have liked that, wouldn't you?

I realize this probably wasn't as enteraining as the last one, and it wasn't as fun for me as the others either.  But to try and make them more real, sometimes they won't be all about fighting.

Jediknight760071 - Good!  Glad that you liked it!  I was going for a bit of an OT feel to it, and really can't wait to get to that era, but I can't rush it and skip the Clone Wars.  Looking forward to hopefully some more feedback from you.

blaster_e11 - Thanks on how they turned out, I just wish I had a better camera.  I might invest in one soon.  On Anakin's color, I think it just turned out a bit too saturated in the pic.  Sorry about that.  And yes it's before Valorum's death.  This is about 7 months into the war, I believe Valorum is killed about 18 months into it.  Still a little ways to go!

Thanks everyone for the feedback, and I'm looking forward to hopefully a few more ideas on what you might have done differently, as that could influence future chapters!


Offline Nirvana

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« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2005, 02:57 PM »
I meant that in a good way, CHEWIE. I love the way you carried that out, it made it sound like a dialogue from the OT, like "your incompetence will not be tolerated" kind of thing. I loved it, I wouldn't change a thing on this one.
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Offline Quazar

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« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2005, 03:07 PM »

Chewie, I tried to warn you time and time again about Tylin Gere!  I knew he was an a$$ and now he's become a back-stabbing, proto-Imperial stooge, too!  What a jerk!!

Another fantastic chapter!  I know that I am sometimes in the minority, but I actually like intrigue in the SW universe, instead of always just light-hearted adventure and swashbuckling.  (which is why my own story is a boring mystery instead of an exciting adventure.)

So this chapter was right up my alley!  Terrific.

Now I know I owe you TWO in-depth critiques.  Since I'm out of town with nothing to do for the long holiday week-end, I hope to be able to knock these out once the rest of the Quazar brood has knocked off after too much turkey.

So happy thanksgiving and thanks for so many great stories!!
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Offline hemble

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« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2005, 05:48 PM »
Awesome work Chewie I'm really enjoying these photo novels and the backdrops and story line is brillant.


Offline Quazar

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« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2005, 01:38 AM »
Hey, Chewie!!

Love the new story!  So I'm going to skip my commentary for #16 (for now) and jump into #17.  Here goes...

Love the opening "poster" for the chapter.  I suggest you go back and do ones for the old chapters, even though there's no real point.  I just love the images!

Did you change the font for your opening crawl?  It seems different, maybe I'm misremembering.  Still think you should try to scale it back, like the films...but that's the most pathetic nitpick of all time...

By the way, have you ever really established what the overall objectives of the Badoo Corba are?  "Terrorists" doesn't feel like the right label at times.  Terrorists have goals (like the IRA) or philosophies and beliefs (Al Queda, etc.) which drive them.  But what do the Badoo Corba really WANT?  They've been around since "Phantom Menace" era in your stories, pre-dating the formation of the Separatists.

I wish we knew more about them and what they wanted, since they are such an important part of your story.

The composite shots are great, as always.  Excellent use of the Owen bridge.

Here's a thought - ever consider customizing Rykrof's head a bit?  Maybe giving him a full beard?  It's nice to see him clean after the Dathomir arc, but maybe it's time for a new look.  Maybe greying temples...the war takes its toll!

Nice to see Trigg Fudda's custom ship make an appearance.  But I can't help but think the Badoo Corba would need more than a bunch of one man ships.  Great shot, but putting in a bigger ship, too, would have been cool.  Granted, Hasbro doesn't MAKE any big ships anymore!  But maybe a digital image....I dunno...

A total nitpick here...the shot of the shuttle returning with Ryrkrof over Coruscant...the Coruscant skyline looks, well, a little too "drawn".  Aren't there more photo-realistic shots of the city you could have used?  Hell, if this were anyone else,  I wouldn't even mention such an insignificant detail.  Maybe I'm just stretching for criticisms...sorry!

Great use of Owen's base, but I think the "stairs" in the middle of the doorway don't really work.  "Where do these stairs go?"  "They go up!"

Dude, whatever you did to Tylin in the shot with the clones is AMAZING.  He really DOES look cold and aloof!  Fantastic!!!!

The close-up shot of Tylin is even creepier!  But the eyes look just a little...vacant.  And, given Tylin's cold demeanor (awesome!!), would he really call him "Rykrof" now.  "Commander Enloe" would have been colder, more officious.

But, I guess now is as good a time to say it as any...

I KNEW Tylin Gere would turn into a bastard!  I always hated that guy!!  Now he's a proto-Imperial, boot-licking STOOGE for Palpatine!!!!  And a chicken hawk, too!  How did he get himself promoted to a cushy Admiral's job while Rykrof is out there on the ground, leading troops in battle!!!  Tylin must DIE!!!!   ;D

I wish Freelo had some lines.  I friggin' LOVE that character!!!

WOW!  How did you make that Pruneface custom!!  It looks great!  How did you create the 2nd eye and get rid of the eyepatch?  Great work!  Also, love the Gand guy, too.  Your awesome customs make your universe pulse with life, energy and orginality!!!

Again, I'm going to nitpick the choice of Coruscant shots...but the next shot with the smoke is SWEEEEEEEET!  Where is that building image from?  Terrific stuff!!

I love the ominous clouds and lightening outside Palps' office!  You've done it before, but it looks friggin' great!

Don't like Evo Ani, though.  Obviously not your fault, but I think other AOTC figures look better (not by much, though, alas...they never made a perfect AOTC Ani, IMO.)

Also, don't really like the custom of Palpatine.  I think his face looks a little overly-customized (overly painted, maybe?)  Most of your custom work is seamlessly brilliant and striking in its fantastic detail.  But this one, to me, looks, I dunno, like you were trying too hard?  It looks too phony or something...

I'm not sure about Rykrof's "priorities" line....It makes it sound like he's saying his priorities are his family.  Which makes sense from a personal point of view, but isn't what you should be telling your Commander in Chief.  It makes it sound like he's saying, "Hell, I'll do it again, if I want to."

By the way, you do GREAT work with Palptine.  I love how he was the one who made Tylin turn on Ryrkrof, then acts all innocent about it.  "Admiral Gere...has his concerns."  Hee hee!

Cool new mission and cool holo image.  Nice work.

I really like your use of poor old Valorum.  Well done.  Nice to see he's keeping himself in the game and trying to help out.

The Bespin corridor is used well here, but I think you should have put a backdrop in the window.  I know you were going for a "dark, mysterious" look, but clearly that window looks like, well, a to have nothing behind it looked just a tad off.

Nice digital work on Heem to fix the neck issues!  And the new custom senators are awesome, too.  But I think the fur lining on the Tanus senator blends in too much with his actual fur.  Would a fur covered creature really wear fur, anyway?  I can see those guys being really big anti-fur activists!!  ;)

I don't really get the point of Traedon yet.  He hasn't really come to life for me yet as a character, I don't have much of a handle on him or see his function.  Freelo, on the other hand, is much more well-defined and more fun.  I don't really get that Traedon and Rykrof would be particularly close at this point, even with what they went through together, nor do I believe Rykrof would even be allowed to take a civlian with him on a secret mission (not that he's too big on following orders, though!  ;) )

I have another confession - I just don't like the look of Shundi.  I think the head is too small for the body (since he comes from a child!) and I never liked the look of the black cloak on top of tan clothing.  It looks like you added that stripe down the middle to imply that the black cloak is connected to a black garment under the tunic, but still.  Sorry.  I know it's too late to do anything about it, and I like the character itself...just not the look.

LOVE the stories that end with "war montages".  and this one is another great one!  The end with the excavation is another tense beat to end the story on.  Very good work.

AMAZING work with the holo's on the war table!  Flippin' sweet!  And I love the cave and the probe droid shot, esp. with the scanning red light.  Your digital skills are truly sublime.

All in all, I really enjoyed the chapter a lot. I like the chapters which are heavy on intrigue and politics and backstabbing (though I know many don't really like those aspects about SW and just prefer adventuring and whatnot).

Still, I think there was a lot of great character stuff here and alot of important developments with the plot. 

As I said, I wish we knew more about the goals of the Badoo Corba and more about the organization itself.

Anyway, great work, as always!!!  Happy Thanksgiving, all!
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Offline CHEWIE

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« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2005, 05:41 PM »
As I begin the pre-work on #18 this week, I'm finally going back at this chapter to look back at it some, and finally reply to Lance's excellent and very appreciated review.

Regarding the "poster" pics - I want to do that.  Maybe over Christmas I can dedicate a day to go back and add them for each chapter.  Should be fun to do.

The crawl is supposed to be the same font/type of the others.  I tried the "scroll" but never could get it to look right, so I've stuck with this.  It's a good suggestion, just never could get it to look right.

As for the Badoo Corba, I really haven't established too much what they "want" other than to disrupt the Republic, which they do hate.  I know a lot of modern terrorism is religious, and I wanted to stay away from that in case we have anyone who is offended by that - the last thing I would want is a Muslim Star Wars fan to read it and think I was referring to their faith.  But in an upcoming chapter, they will have a demand they want fulfilled.

As for Rykrof - in the Dathomir series, I did add a bit of a 5 o'clock shadow to him, but nothing like a full beard. I've considered a clean shaven look too, but don't know how the heck I'd pull that off.  He will be getting some gray hairs soon though.  But he's not too old by any means, only mid 30s during the Clone Wars.

For the Badoo Corba fleet - yes larger ships would be cool.  I went with something that some people might be familiar with, but I do agree that something else could have been good - there will be more shopes from them in the future.  I kinda liked the one man ships in a way though as they didn't have time to really pack up supplies or anything, just getting the hell out of there ASAP.

I see what you mean about the "drawn" look of that pic.  I just was going for some more variety - I could have probably found a better pic.  It's hard sometimes finding the variety I'm looking for... but I did add some little stars in the sky.   ;)

Glad you like how Tylin looks, that was hard for me to do.  It didn't turn out great, but ok I guess - I just wanted to show a pissed off view of him.  Yes right now he's turning into a royal bastard.  I figured someone needed to be an antagonist that was still a friend in a way - so Rykrof is getting backstabbed by his old best friend. 

On the Pruneface, that was a custom head cast someone sent me a few years ago, finally painted it and gave it an appearance.  I like the Gand a little better, just because it's a more realistic sculpt and interesting species in my opinion.

I guess on the Coruscant shots, I just can't find what I need.  Those "far off distance" shots cover what I want, but aren't too clear.  The explosion was kinda hard to do, since I still have barely any photoshop skills.  The building image was just something I found online in a google image search.

On the Palpatine face, I never can get it to take a good pic.  His eyes look too dark underneath, but in real life, it doesn't seem to look like that.  Guess I have more work to do on it.  I guess I'm the only person on these boards that likes the Evolutions Anakin.  I think it's perfect and wouldn't change a thing.

For Rykrof's line, I threw it in there to really show that he's not afraid to speak his thoughts and won't back down - kind of like Anakin in a sense - and in my view Palpatine respects that, going with your feelings.  Glad you thought the Palpatine lines were fitting though.

I'm glad to still have Valorum in the mix a bit, kind of a behind the scenes guy working with Tame Heem and that other senator. 

For the background in that image, man I can't explain how much hell those pics gave me.  I tried a Coruscant backdrop at first, but it almost looked like some sort of damn jazzy effect that looked awful.  After hours of it, I gave up.

For the senators, just trying to add in a new look for Tame Heem and the Elom is just a bit of a goofy design.  Would a furry animal wear a coat with fur on it?  Maybe not.  But I think in Star Wars anything can happen.

For Traedon Cusiro, his role is mainly going to be a sidekick to Rykrof - I don't want every character he meets to have an overly dramatic role, I think that would be too ficticious.  He will have his moments, but not as defined as a character such as Freelo, Ralbarr or Kala Mly Shundi; or at least not yet.  He respects Rykrof for their joint encounter on Dathomir, but at this point they're not close buddies yet.

On Kala, I agree the head is a bit small.  I don't know what to do about that now, and the hood was kind of a coverup for that.  I kind of like the odd shape though, as some creatures in Star Wars have way oversized heads, so maybe he can be one that is underscaled.  I think in the next story he will be hoodless actually.

Someone has actually criticized the war montages, and I thought that was kind of weird, so I'm glad you like them being added.  They are to remind the reader that there is a broad war going on, and Rykrof's role is significant for a non-Jedi, but he isn't the central character in Star Wars by any means of course.

Thank you for the comments and feedback, look for the Badoo Corba to continue to have a role, and hopefully I can iron out their intentions better.