RE #20 - FINAL HOUR

[blaster_e11]

nice and quick update 

i like the quilan vos introduction and hope we'll see more of him

(but it's perhaps better we don't see too much of too much known characters from EU or the saga)

[Fritzkrieg]

Great Work on these last two chapters Chewie.

I really like d the Character of Judiss. It's ahame he could'nt last a few more chapters. I feel that the readers would get pretty attached to his character.

My favorite Shot, is the one in which Rykrof Shoots at the Camera. Very Cinamatic!

The Story and the Atmosphere are getting much more gritty and dark. I can't wait to see where this is going.

Keep up the Great
Work!

[Famine]

(but it's perhaps better we don't see too much of too much known characters from EU or the saga)

Shut up, you!




Kevin

[S_A_Longhorn]

My comments copied over:

Another compelling chapter, CHEWIE.

The story had a lot of suspense in it.  Great storytelling with Rykrof being tortured and then his attempt to escape. 

Your customs are also so important to your story.  The terrorist group are great villians.  Shundi looks very cool, that I would buy him if Hasbro made a fig like that.  The sunset pics in the beginning are outstanding!  Some of the other shots, like the escape pictures, defintely show your improvement for taking better pictures with your new camera.  Good shots!  My favorite has to be #39, where Rykrof is shooting directly into the camerea.  Brilliant!

Some of the things I didn't like have already been mentioned.  Duplicated the droids in the first couple of shots distracts from the rest of the picture.  I also thought the Dooku dialogue was a bit to blunt.  Unless there is a history I am forgeting between Dooku & Shundi, Dooku was quick to try to seduce Shundi.  I always imagined Dooku being very subtle with his influences, as if he had little or no power.  Even in my story, I try to portray Dooku as anything but a villian.  Similar to the Anakin in ROTS.

Another distracting is the repetive pictures, for example #26 and #27.  Picture 26 is a zoomed-in version of #27.  The pic looks great, but I would only recommend make the two pic different simple by reposing the figs' heads or arms.  Just enough of a difference to create two distinct pics.

Overall, great chapter, CHEWIE!  Glad you posted this so quick after chapter 19.  Now when is the next chapter going to be ready?!?!  

And on a personal note, thanx for not including Freelo in this chapter! 

[CHEWIE]

Thank you for the good honest feedback SA, it's much appreciated. 

I totally agree with you about Dooku... I might have rushed it a bit with him trying to manipulate Shundi.  I was wanting to show a sigh of strength in Shundi in this chapter, where he turns his back on Dooku.  I probably should have played it out more, but I had a fear or dragging it.

As for the duplicate shots, I only did that as time saving manner.  When I edit pics, it's crazy how my computer freezes up.  For example, that pic with tanks and the droids took almost 3 hours to make... if my computer didn't go haywire, I could have gotten it done in 30 minutes or less.  Seeing that it would have taken another 2-3 hours to make a new shot, I just used a portion of the pic for a later shot of the Battle Droids.  Because of how my computer is acting up, that's why I've been making more of the modular foamcore sets lately.  Those take a while to make, but it saves a lot of time.

As for Freelo, ha ha!  I think it's actually cool that a few people hate him, yet a few say he's their favorite character.  I personally like the character, but I'll try to not make him too goofy.  What is it you really dislike about him, the look of the Mon Cal species, or is it the way he acts?

Anyways, thanks for the feedback... the next chapter, I guess it will be 3-4 weeks before it's up.  I'll probably start on it sometime soon, but need to work on a new foamcore set for the main scenes.  I think the next one runs the chance of being boring as hell, but it's probably essential to the story.

 

[ThePerennial]

 I personally don't know what's fostered the hate for freelo. To me, he's akin to a c-3po type of the group. There's always the reserved, worried and somewhat shy individual in a group, and freelo is just that..... and he has a cool turtle-shell armour that makes him look like the lovechild of a fish and a ninja turtle. COWABUNGA!

[In Rem]

I left most of my pertinent comments on Ch 19 (that's what happens when you do lightspeed updates, I guess)

Anyway, I wanted to chip in here that I think your use of Judiss was great storytelling to add some mythos to R.E. Not only is he a great warrior for the Republic when he has the benefit of the most powerful military at his disposal, but he can get things done on his own as well. That's an important element to creating an idealized hero. Plus you let Judiss die, which was probably the better way to leave that.

Great stuff, CHEWIE. I gotta get back to work.

[CHEWIE]

Thank you Perennial and In Rem.  As always I really appreciate your feedback too.

As for Freelo, I like him too, but understand if someone doesn't like the character.  I kind of try to emulate him after a real living being like 3PO to some degree like Perennial said.

And on Judiss, I appreciate that it is also viewed that it was acceptable for him to die, it's nice to see interesting characters live but in wartime everyone is vulnerable, even Rykrof.  And his action to try and get to Mubaas when he was close to escaping I think was realisitc... not just in the sense that Rykrof would want to try and take down their leader if possible, but Mubaas had also made threats regarding Rykrof's son - so if he felt he had a reasonable chance of ridding the galaxy of Mubaas, he'd take the chance.  And I don't think people were expecting Rykrof to turn a gun on someone who had saved him (Rykrof never would have shot him though of course) but he's starting to develop a more hard stance to get things accomplished.  So basically I agree In Rem, having Judiss die here was best. I almost had him escape with Rykrof, but the storyline I have in mind would have been altererd quite a bit then.  It could have been changed, but I kind of like the idea of Rykrof now maybe second guessing himself after he has time to reflect on what happened.

I also thought a bit more about Dooku... a part of me thinks maybe I should have had more of a longer attempt at "seducing" Shundi, but at the same time he knew Kala was not going to wait around on the planet for long.  So he was direct with him.  In AOTC, he was pretty direct with Kenobi too, asking him immediately to join him.  So, I think from another point of view it's acceptable how he was portrayed and I'm happy with it.

Again, thanks for the comments/feedback and ideas.

 

[Darth_Ennis]

You know I really didn't see that coming. Of course with a name like Judiss I should have.
Not as tension filled as the last episode but still excellent as always. Im going to miss Judiss I was starting to rather like him.
AS susual still itching for new episodes. AS long as theyre still this good I dont mind waiting.

[jedistyle]

another awsome chapter CHEWIE.

i didn't think mly would go over to the darkside so easily. i think that if dooku would have offered resources and personal help to mly instead of just the darkside, mly would have been more apt to take dooku's help and then dooku could have had more of an oppurtunity to minipulate mly to his cause. just throwing the darkside out there dosn't seem very dooku....

i really like the tones and coloring of the sky background in the dooku scene's, i t looks awsome.

the blaster bolts and touture droid effects looked particilarly good in this chapter, especially the heat beam!

judiss, great name reference by the way, was very cool, i thought it was cool that rykoff was able to win him over like that. i was disapoinbted to see him killed though. trying to go after mubass all torn up like that was a bad call on rykoff's part and it got judiss killed, i was really hoping they would escape and judiss would become another allie like freelo and rykoff might have his own crew of former seps on his side. but it was still well done and the whipid taking judiss head at the end was awsome, very cut throat terrorist!

again great chapter CHEWIE and i like them split up the way you did them rather than as one. your skills with effects are just great and i can't wait to read the next chapter.

[CHEWIE]

Thank you both Ennis and Jedistyle very much for the feedback, as soon as I get my computer problems fixed I can get #21 up, but it's going to be at least another week due to issues with my PC.

As for Dooku, maybe he could have offered resources but that would have been an outright use of military force to help a Republic cause, and that's really why I had him only offer power through the Dark Side to Kala.  On Judiss, a part of me wanted to keep him alive, but in all reality I think that people are going to die when then are in such dangerous situations - as for Rykrof's decision, he was doing what he thought was necessary and saw it as possibly his best opportunity to kill Mubaas Fuuda. 

Again thanks for the feedback, I look forward to being able to work on the next one.

 

[Victor_Von_Doom]

First off, great job!

Personally I didn't have a problem with the Judiss name thing; I kinda liked it. I do agree with some of the other people's comments though that the "Judiss the traitor" line was somewhat redundant and labored.

I didn't really like it that Rykrof turned his gun on Judiss. Rykrof doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd double cross you right after you helped him. I also thought that the way Judiss died was kind of anti-climactic IMHO. I'd have liked to have seen him live or go out in a blaze of glory.

Overall, great job, and I'm glad to see Rykrof free! 

[Deanna Rash]

Sweet Vos figure!and cool story!

[CHEWIE]

The remake of this one is only days away......