Author Topic: SW: BLACK ILLUSION 4 *THE GHOST BEHIND MY EYES* (R)  (Read 1707 times)

Offline raziel871

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« on: June 8, 2007, 06:27 PM »

After committing an unspeakable act of treachery Master Joyeuse is joined within the abandoned apartment complex by a familiar face . . . .

“You are lucky Master Joyeuse that I have more pressing matters to attend to!” the Dark Lord booms waving the Dark item in the air.
“let us hope that your gift for the Emperor is more impressive than this ‘other’ gift that you have failed to deliver to me”

“Please Sith'ari” Joyeuse begs “the sedative must have been weaker than anticipated, I will drag the Jedi kicking & screaming into your hands!”

“See to it that you DO  Joyeuse!”

Like a thunderbolt Joyeuse races to the roof, eager to rectify his mistake . . . .

Durendal senses the two faced Jedi Master is upon him, hurt & distraught he lashes out
“You have lost your honour Joyeuse, have you come to lose everything else?”   

Removing his robe Joyeuse jeers “ You know little of the big bad world young one, this battle began centuries ago - this fight will be as brief as your friendships!”

Emboldened by the arrogance before him Durandel leaps at the traitor, striking harder than Joyeuse anticipates.

Revealling that he is no pushover when it comes to sabre technique Durandel begins to get a feel for his opponents skill . . . .

Another flurry of swipes & thrusts indicate to both men as to whom is the likely victor . . .

“You spent too much time locked away in the archives Joyeuse - whilst your brethren fought & died for a cause!”

Realising that a duel would likely end in defeat Joyeuse changes strategy . . . .

Flinging the starfighter towards the nimble Padawan.

“Your limited knowledge of the force is no match for a Jedi Master of my vintage” Joyeuse scowls

Withdrawing from the conflict Durandel smiles “blue 6 you have control”

Galens droid whistles & whoops excitedly . . .

Firing the afterburners of the lop sided ship . . .


Toasting his former instructor  the Padawan then scoops up his fallen companion & secures himself inside the safety of the ship . . . jetting away from the scene . . . .

40 or so minutes later . . . .

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?” a familiar voice shakes


”Galen, Galen my boy calm down” the old man protests to no avail before Durandel steps forwards

”I brought you up showing respect” the ruffed up grandfather exclaims

”Grandpa pa will explain” he nods tinkering with the device on his wrist

”You must see for yourself . . None of this was done to harm you quite the opposite”

    . .   . … . .. . . .

As the doors part they reveal a separate part of the workshop, a different part of Cortez!

As he approaches the tank Cortez receives a flash of memory so vivid it unbalances him momentarily

His past - but not as he remembers it . . . .

His Grandfather begins: “Into the second year of the war you were doing so well for yourself. Great job, friends even your mother came around to the idea of you being  a  Senate Guard - after you father that seemed near impossible - all was well.

“Then the bomb” Galen butts in . .

Grandpa smiles “yes, one of many at the time but the cruel thing was that you were off duty!”

The young Padawan feels uncomfortable listening in but feels it his duty to be there for his friend . .

Grandpa continues . . .  “even the best doctors could not heal you my boy you were deeply comatose, as the weeks went by myself & your uncle Knish brought you here to die . . 

I just couldn’t pull the plug on my own boy Galen & as your parents became curious as to why they hadn’t heard from you I just panicked “

He pats Galen on the shoulder “We used the android to fool your parents on their visit with every intention of getting rid once they had gone back off world but . . . Now I had two plugs to pull . . . .

Durandel comforts his friend, the man who had rescued him & kept him safe for so long . . .

At the shops front Grandpa looks wrecked, Durandel tries to make some sense out of everything

“It is more than just a copy of him” the old man sniffs “that in there IS Galen, the man is the tank is like a trophy - the droid is more than even my skill can accomplish, that’s why I couldn’t change things back!”

As Durandel recounts events from memory there were subtle clues from their very first meeting . . .

From behind the scenes Galen emerges . . . .”fix me?

In the Jedi archives Durandel recalls various legends from far & wide about objects such as toys, mirrors & vehicles becoming possessed after a traumatic event - could this be the same?

“Am I freaking you out buddy?” Cortez chuckles as Durandel grasps his detached head for the second time

“how can he now talk?” the young one asks Grandpa

“I don’t completely know my child” is the reply . . .

As the hour passes Galen Cortez is reborn for the second time . . .

Joined by Knish brie the transformation is completed . …

Within the medical bay Galen faces a mirror image of himself  “if he - I’ve been brain dead for so long I think a little dignity is over due”

Durandel lends his support “I think I agree, Galen Cortez seemed like a wonderful man . .”

“I think so too” Galen replies

”If I’m still in here when he’s gone - you know I don’t burst into flames or something - I’ll get you off Coruscant I swear” he nods

{BOOM} “ Rest in peace old friend”

Within his private chambers Lord Vader confers with the surviving Joyeuse . . . .

“Fate appears to have been your ally today Joyeuse, despite your misjudgements!
 The Emperors artefact was returned to its  resting place without being missed”

“Thank you my Lord” Joyeuse squirms

“However you must now prove your loyalty to ME by finding the young Jedi & the android”

With his insatiable thirst for knowledge the shamed Jedi cannot resist seeking an explanation
“Of coarse the Padawan  Sith’ari, but might I be so bold as to ask why the interest in the automaton?”

With a glare felt even behind the black visor & across the city the Dark Lord snarls at the whelp “You will learn your place old man, essentially an android has a photographic memory - I want it!”

As the scourge of the Jedi abruptly ends transmission Joyeuse realises that this task is almost certainly  at Lord Vader’s  sole discretion  . . . . .

« Last Edit: July 10, 2007, 06:24 PM by raziel871 »

Offline Deanna Rash

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« Reply #1 on: June 8, 2007, 10:29 PM »
 8) :o :o This getting very interesting! great job on story,customs.I like it very much! ;D
The ablity to speak does not make you intelligent - now get out of here!

Offline CHEWIE

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« Reply #2 on: June 9, 2007, 02:15 AM »
Again to echo my earlier comments, this is a really good chapter.  Really great twists with having Cortez being a droid now.  Who could have ever seen that coming?  Now you have me on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next! 

Excellent use of fan fiction characters, and a perfect example of why I prefer these type of stories over using established characters.  You've got the freedom of using your own characters when you want, and they're yours to do with them what you choose.


Offline jedistyle

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« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2007, 11:14 PM »
i can ay that i was a bit confused too. i have actually waited to post comments on this chapter because i have read it 4 times, just to be sure i was in the flow of the plot.

your re-comments raz, did shed a little light, whihc i guess ids sort of cheating in the comment line. :D

1) youe effects are still great. your lightsaber effects are far supiroior to mine and i really enjoy seeing your efects and it shows me somthing that i hope to acomplish with mine.

2)i do find the fact that vader accepted joy as an acomplice kind of hard to swallow. vader was hel bent on killing or touturing all the jedi he came across, especially if he thought he coul dget info on obiwan or other jedi. this piece of the plot really has me looking to see joy have some really great and hard to achieve farce skill that the emperor or vader wil find useful.

3)i think the confusion of the body on the star fighter could have been avoided if you had shown the robe durandel threw down and the robe containing the body in th same shot, so that the reader knew there was 2.

4)i see what your saying about older people having been dirty in thier time and i can totaly see that for grandpa. but i still think that he could have shown more personal conflict in decideing to let him go.

5)the little robot efects on the neck and apendiges of cortez look awsome!

6)beieng as cortez is now basicly the equivalent of C3PO, but  a bit more independant and agile, the possibilty of him being reprogrammed and turned on durandel seems to be a factor now.

7)i'm definetley interested to see how joy plans to deal with durandel since he can't match him with the lightsaber.....

a veryu twisted and crazy chapter raz. definetley one of those stories you should read twice. good work and the next chapter will be anxiously awaited to add to this plot! :)
" The first soap was made from the ashes of hero's, with out pain, with out sacrifice, we would have nothing."

Offline raziel871

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« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2007, 01:19 PM »
:D Hey thanks bud!

I suppose it was a little twisted this chapter  ;)  - I tend to find that life is that way once there are many agendas within the same arena i.e work, ladies, buying houses e.t.c . . .

You will see why Vader "uses" Joyeuse next time, partialy its because Vader is still a little rusty - he's still adapting to his new limbs & has had to change his style quite a bit since being a fully fledged human but pride in front of the Emperor e.t.c has him less willing to reveal weakness.

I never thought of Galen being re-programmed . . . . :-X
« Last Edit: June 12, 2007, 01:21 PM by raziel871 »