On the outside chance you have a girl, I should share a couple of things with you. Once she starts dating you need to remember to tell prospective boyfriends two things, one is simple, one takes a little longer.
1. Look him straight in the eye and say
I'm not afraid to go back to prison.
2. Tell him he'll take a bathtub test when he brings her home. Explain it succinctly. When they get back, you and he go to the bathtub. He strips and gets in, if his balls float, they're empty and you kill him.

We should be building a home shortly replete with front porch for my rocking chair, whence I will use an obscenely large knife to whittle wooden star wars figures. I will also clean the shotgun and play banjo at that location. The house will also come with a turret with a laser sight.
Oh yes, one other thing: I've purchased a weight set and I do arm curls with the precise poundage of my daughter and will keep up as she grows. I figure she should weigh in at around 100-120 in high school. I'll probably get some fairly obscene tattos at that point as well.
Oh yeah, if it happens to be anyone here's son, please understand I will shoot them if I have to, it's nothing personal

Now, what was that you said about raising boys being easier?