This probably belongs in the pet peeves thread, but I'll put it here instead simply because it involves a recently released movie.
Went to see King Arthur the other night. The previews looked promising and I knew full well it was a departure from the classic tale. No problem, I can live with that.
I typically go to the smaller multiplex that is the same driving time, but in the opposite direction, than the big Cinema City theathers because the lineups are smaller and the theater is less crowded. Not that I hate crowds, just prefer the lower risk of idiots in the theater.
I arrived plenty early, 15 minutes prior to start time. The only problem is that rather than having two cash registers going (no interac booths at this older theater complex) they had one. Plus it was raining and everyone was out to a movie. Six theaters and the following were showing: Spiderman2 (2 theaters), Harry Potter, Shrek2, King Arthur and Two Brothers. All newish movies and all popular so the lineup was huge. 15 minutes later I pay and off I go.
Into another lineup. Are you the kind of person that always picks the wrong line to get in? I am. Clearly, I am. I ended up getting in the popcorn line with the trainee working. She wasn't filling popcorn bags completely full (as one guy in line said 'if you're charging me $5 for that, you better believe I want it so full it's spilling on the floor) and was generally slow. I can live with that, but it was painful watching 4-5 people go cruising by me in the next line
Worse, immediately in front of me was a mother and three boys, 10-13 years old. They were goofing around and being obnoxious, something I can live with. The first time one was shoved into me, no big, they're kids after all. The second time was a little more annoying. The third time I asked if they could stop stepping on my feet. The mother then turns around and says
they're just kids, leave them alone 
Gee, I wonder if they are problem kids at school too
Wouldn't be a lack of discipline at home by any chance? Anyhoo, dipstick parent aside, I get my food and off to the theater.
Thank goodness for previews and commercials, cuz I missed most of them but didn't miss any of the movie. My buddy and I plop ourselves down in the last row happy to have made it on time.
As soon as the words
King Arthur appear on the screen, not two rows in front of me some buffoon pulls out his Walmart bag (the crinkly type) with the candy he bought there, rather than paying the outrageous theater prices. Stay calm, I think, he'll get it out and be done with the Walmart bag. Wrong. Dead wrong. For pretty much the entire movie this bozo and his date/GF/wife/concubine sat there going into the bag at quasi-regular intervals. But wait, it gets better. It wasn't something relatively benign in that bag like jelly beans. It wasn't something mildy annoying like a big ole bag of licorice. Nope, it was a bag of individually wrapped hard candies. Yessirree, they sat there through the entire movie untwisting these little evil creations. I'm sitting in a freaking movie thinking
gee, I wish Virex was here so we could both be charged with assault, cuz I don't want to go down alone Naturally they were both the types that like to fold and smooth the wrappers too. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
But it gets better yet. On the other side of the theater, there was a group of 6-8 twenty somethings that thought they were at home in the living room of their parents house (I know this, cuz anyone with that little respect for others most likely doesn't have a job or the maturity to live on their own
). They talked, not a word of a lie, from start to absolute finish. You could barely hear them during the battle scenes, but the giggling during the quiet moments was obscene. A few people told them to shut up, to no avail.
That should cover it right? Wrong. There was also a guy that talked on his cell phone for what must have been 40 minutes. He was quiet enough, but you could still hear him and he had this really nice phone with brightly glowing orange numbers. My advice to him, dump her, she ain't worth it if she won't let you watch a movie in peace.
Almost finally (almost, we're not done yet) about half way through a woman came in with her 4 year old daughter (a guess at age, but she looked about the same age as my daughter) and sat down, yup, you guessed it, right beside me. Presumably they had been at Shrek2 and this woman was looking for a little bonus. Now, someone else's kid is none of my business, but this is hardly the movie for a 4 year old. Hacking, slashing and yelling weren't terribly conducive to the kid's attention span and I don't blame her one bit. I actually told the woman that since I had paid to see the movie, I'd actually like to hear it too. IOW, get the **** out please. And she left, right after her cell phone rang. I tell ya, I was about this close to smacking her.
Last thing: I've never seen a more incontinent crowd at a movie in my life. There were people moving in and out of the theater nearly perpetually. Sitting right at the back, I was graced with a constant stream of bright, lobby light for the better part of the movie, something I found strangely annoying.
It was just the most surreal and annoying movie going experience ever.
Oh. How was the movie? Well, for what I can recall, it was ok. It definitely wasn't classic King Arthur and the round table, but if you want details, ask someone else cuz I didn't really get much of a chance to see and enjoy the movie. I wonder if tranquilizer gones are sufficiently small and quiet to bring into a theater. Hmm.
