Author Topic: Star Wars: Memoirs of a War Profiteer-S1E1 "Quadracross"  (Read 2627 times)

Offline Darth Depressis

  • Jedi Padawan
  • *
  • Posts: 546
  • i've never seen garbage eat garbage before
    • View Profile
Star Wars: Memoirs of a War Profiteer-S1E1 "Quadracross"
« on: November 23, 2008, 03:04 AM »

Kamino-30 years Before the Battle of Yavin IV

Kal Skirata: "you wanna say that again Aiwha bait?"

Lama Su: "Mister Skirata i do believe we are in a formal business setting can you attempt to spare me your ill manners."

Jango Fett: "My trigger fingers are getting hard to control cloner!, by what right do you think can split my genome that way!"

Lama Su: "We share the goals here Jango. our patrons need this army battle ready in less than a decade, by our current estimates we cannot generate that many clones before that time. by creating this Clone Queen
program we can reach the goal and.."

Jango Fett: "this underhanded effort has existed long enough to garner a code name?"

Kal Skirata: "Udesii Jango, a bucket of this osik won't fly to the guys upstairs unless you've got proof."

Lama Su: "why would it matter to them? if anything the funds vested in the original plan can still vested be toward this new program."

Jango Fett: "this program ends here or i sink this whole kriffing place from orbit! you don't take my genome and turn into a girl of me got it! this wasn't supposed to some perverted get rich quick scheme!"

Lama Su: "we would never sell the clone queens to pleasure dens Jango!, unhand me at once. an exact clone of you could take your place at anytime fett. from our studies the Aiwha enjoy the taste of your blood, if
you take my meaning."

Jango Fett: "threats are never useful when your weaponless, gihaal."

Lama Su: "the program ends, but the product is already bearing fruit. an order of yours to be exact."

Kal Skirata: "what?"

Jango Fett: "then put her on ice alongside the arcs once it's done. but it never leaves this place got it!"

Lama Su: "the research will vanish and the clone will be kept as you wish."

Kal Skirata: "good choice su, but remember you ever even think about double crossing us again and you'll be left in my care. understood."

Lama Su: "of course."

Jango Fett: "this also stays between us kal."

Kal Skirata: "as you wish Mand'alor."

Coruscant-20 years Before the Battle of Yavin IV

Darth Sidious: "the security team recovered your rifle Dilbun, luckily Kinman was awake at that hour and could provide the code. this Augie mentioning needs to cease or connections will be made and you my friend
will find yourself in a worse place than Oovo IV I'm afraid."

Dilbun Vont: "sorry ta be a turd in the punch, but i gots bills to pay you know. can't keep my floors covered in blood wit no bones to spend."

Darth Sidious: "very well. your next mission may be a bit out of your league. but i can assure you if you survive it. your worth in my employ may well find you uniformed."

Dilbun Vont: "good, as long I'm enlisted with the eventual winners of this big galactic game you've rigged, augi..lord sidious."

Darth Sidious: "so your tongue can be curbed. the chancellor will need to see you soon, wilhuff needs to posture for awhile at you, but that pawn will fill you in on the mission once tarkin's fangs are dry."

Dilbun Vont: "Will it be one or two changes of shorts..this mission?"

Darth Sidious: "no rank advancement if that's what you're driving at. but something has risen to my attention regarding the count. if all goes as planned, which i can assure you it will. my apprentice's place will be firmly at my side after this mission."

Dilbun Vont: "oh, ol' dookie getting anxious to actually win this war. how funny. well I'll see you in, huh there i go again."

Darth Sidious: "try not to vomit on tarkin. get yourself together and prepare for my summons."

Dilbun Vont: well now even Augie's getting his roles mixed up, I'm pretty sure that's the first time the sith lord has rung me up and sounded like ol' Augie. this missions gonna be a karking pile of hurt.

Tarkin: "Vont! you kill two strumpets, get drunk with that scum villie and not only did you manage to miss your target twice in the senate in your drunken stupor. you show up to this meeting still drunk! how did you ever make a name for yourself as a ruthless killer out on the rim?"

Dilbun Vont: "by biting off fingers that get pointed at me for longer than five minutes. you're at about four by my count and I'm sure as hell hoping theres some meat on that bony thing cause my stomachs..."

Palpatine: "enough! guards, wilhuff everybody except vont out!. i can handle this drunken braggarts on my own."

-Minutes Later-

Dilbun Vont: "ok so Dooku attempted to seek a means to the SIP after you'd stashed it on wayland. but he got driven off by that guardian. so now you want me to what?"

Palpatine: "yes even to a sober man this plan is a bit confussing. the main point is you are to rally with that death watch coward Phutt Nuum and meet Dooku on Bakura the day after next. there you will provide him
with a copy of the SIP and he will provide you with a target. that Target will be the one whom comprised my database in the first place and revealed the location of the Sith storehouse on Wayland. keep in mind i
want the target alive, dooku will not. this will not hinder your transactions with the count, because after this is carried out he will find himself in place at his masters side."

Dilbun Vont: "ok, but where'd i get the sip?"

Palpatine: "in order to amaze the count you will need to say you stole it from under the guardians nose. now i do believe you should get going."

Dilbun Vont: "no threats bout big galgu, are we actually becoming friends Augie?"

Palpatine: "if i believed in such a thing as luck I'd suggest you do not push it any further."

Dilbun Vont: That's when i started sweating. crazy and bloodthirsty or not this was shaping up to be more than just a trap for me, ol' Augie was on the line this time. and i was being used to turn it around. if I'd had a clue about how this all might turn out back then, I'd have taken a walk off that balcony and saved myself the career that was ahead of me. creds are nice, strums are fun until they speak more than the guttural mumblings expected. but life's a sentence. and mine was about to start that night.


Phutt Nuum: "I's no care bout this kriffing gen'dai or his slimy mando hating armor! he's wants to be scrapin with me he'd be pullin out the real hand cannons and unload her before i get my pulse clip charged on him! haha."

Dilbun Vont: "for Fib's sake put the blasters away Phutt! were supposed to be doing a transaction here. remember?"

Dooku: "oh what a pity it was they didn't make the clone army after you my dear death watchmen. my droids would've simply exchanged a series of insults and we'd have the core already conquered."

Phutt Nuum: "Not if they'd had Vizla to use as template!"

Durge: "Mando Schisms aside, the Nuum clan was bred in keldabe and this hound is a nuum. so i deserve his blood Count!"

Dooku: "oh my word. why could it not be my worthy apprentice here at my side, he was suited for dealing with such underworld scum."

Dilbun Vont: Right about that second some of the renegade drained outta the count, i recalled a holonet piece tracking the confederacy's early movements. with Sha'ala Doneeta at his side the man looked like the
future then, now he sounded sad and weak. thanks to phutt's backalley manner, my story will go unaccounted. in other words I'm in like a dirty shirt.

Dilbun Vont: "all bloodscores aside, no offense Durge. but i didn't crawl outta the poodoo vat of mount tantiss with this case to keep me company. are we trade'in or not."

Dooku: "of course, with this portion of the research the poison can be remade. i must admit i myself would never have thought to swim into the Mount Tantiss storehouse by way of the sewage pipes. most creative

Dilbun Vont: "hey once you poison the dianoga, its all a workout. so whats this i hear about you not being able to get this yourself?"

Dooku: "well for starters Vont, my ego cannot be bruised by one such as yourself. the reason you had to swim in thirty kilos of dung was the same reason Master Yoda does not end this war. i assure you he could, but does not because he like all the Jedi have broken their own commandment. they FEAR the Dark side of the Force."

Dilbun Vont: oh great a lecture on the Force, why can't this stuff just stay on the after hours holonet and stay outta the mainstream news?

Dooku: "Some years back, before i myself came upon this realization. the great master lectured myself and two other masters on the subject of the Dark Side. this was a private ritual amongst the Jedi, anytime a master was about to be welcomed into the higher fold, they would be taken aside and made privy to the great Secret of the Dark Side."

The Jedi Temple-42 years Before the Battle of Yavin IV

Yoda: "Beware the lure of the Dark Side masters, for when taking upon this new duty. you will be made aware of its call. When seeing into the Fates of the Force, you will be bombarded by all aspects of life."

Jorus C'Baoth: "You mean to tell me that even the great Jedi Sages cannot look into the Fate of the Dark Side? how can this practice be permitted. we three have looked into the fates and seen the avenues of the Dark Side!"

Dooku: At that moment i understood the hidden message behind the masters backwards Basic. they actually made fear of the Dark Side a practice! Kuro and C'Baoth understood in their own ways of course. but
neither of them had understood the currents of the fates that we'd opened ourselves up to than I.

Yoda: "Master C'Baoth your bombastic manner edges close to the dark ways enough on its own. lest it be developed greater by actually peering at the Dark Side, we do not permit."

Dooku: "May the force be with you."

Dooku: Days after i so rudely brought an end to the master's rant, i looked into the issue further while sparring with Sora Bulq.

Dooku: "Do you see what i have come to suspect Sora?"

Sora Bulq: "Alarming that they actually let this go unnoticed. the Darkness is active, yet we are blind to it because we are ordered to not stare at it for too long out of..."

Dooku: "Fear!, much like the aggressive energies we expell now to conceal our tandem Vision of Darkness. they have broken the first rules of the Jedi. they fear and so i say why do we not go all the way and be
true masters of the Force?"

Dooku: Fear Mr. Vont, that is what keeps me from raiding the storehouse of Wayland. The Guardian you crawled in fear of is one whom I've known in the past as a Jedi. How he came into the service of the Sith,
i know not. but he is and his power is greater than my own. Your mission will be to dispose of the Slicer whom led me into that attempted slaughter on Wayland. His name is Kligson, ask my underlings about him. it'd be best if my hands remained out of this affair to be best assure your success. he is a very slippery one this Slicer.

Phutt Nuum: "So no time for strums on the wheel?"

Dilbun Vont: "yup, straight to tracking this barve."


Poggle the Lesser: "Oh that slicer!, Believe it or not he was the one that reverse engineered the droid control system. well if the Count says he's outlived his usefullness who em i to argue? I'll have wat tambor arrange a little get together for the three of you?

Dilbun Vont: "thanks poggle, hope you guys get the old red dirt back before this war ends. hate to see a people driven off their homeplanet, i really do."

Dilbun Vont: up until that moment i didn't understand why Augie wanted this techno wanker alive, guy that smart could be useful. best keep him under lock and key until you need him again. kinda like myself.


Phutt Nuum: "wheres the stinking wire jockey at tambor?"

Wat Tambor: "whats the meaning of this Vont? Poggle already set this up why are guys pushing me around? do you know who i em! I'm Wat Tambor! i made my bones when guys where still..."

Dilbun Vont: "I know the story, but my buddy here got a little hooked on the old Mando rage they used to pump up before battle. so he's like this with everybody."

Phutt Nuum: "oh come on Vont, can't i just stab him once?"

Dilbun Vont: "uh, i don't feel like smelling what he breathes alright. lets go to work."

-Minutes Later-

Phutt Nuum: "what the kark do you mean i can't kill this runt! the count hired us to snuff him out!"

Kligson: "this is a bit odd."

Dilbun Vont: "stow it droid handler! Phutt put the blade back in its sheath and step away before I'm forced to break whatever skirata left you for a jaw."

Phutt Nuum: "step off it vont, this guy is wanted dead by dooku. now who are you taken him alive for? and how much is in it."

Dilbun Vont: "Enough to keep me in this game and enough to keep out of breathing if you don't take that blaster outta my face Nuum!"

Kligson: "ok, so you're hear to take me alive to shall i say our mutual friend his sithiness? and he's here to carve me up because the count understands that Wayland was a trap?"

Fai'rel:(igniting Lightsaber) Most perceptive my boy. but i have a greater task in mind for you.

Dilbun Vont: "Frak me."

Fai'rel: "oh yes, Frak indeed. fraked all around. you mando, i heard your mother call, she wants you to wash up for din din. best you be off to Toola."

Phutt Nuum: "guys my mom wantsa me to get cleaned up for din din, i gotta go to toola..BYE!"

Fai'rel: "Vont i believe you understand the situation well enough to cuff yourself."

Kligson: "So are you capturing me or em i working with you?"

Fai'rel: "You are going to admit my entrance to the mount tantiss Storehouse on wayland. the Sith have turned against one another and forgotten one small detail about seeing into the fates of the Force."

Dilbun Vont: "I'll take a wild guess, i had a similar force lecture today. Dark Jedi can see what the Jedi are too afraid to look at and your reaping the benefits of this?"

Fai'rel: "my it is too sad you have nothing of the force about you. Kligson time we where off."

Kligson: "maybe next time we can hit coco town Vont. keep in touch."

Dilbun Vont:Ferglutz!


Tarkin: "Thanks to the battle of Kamino, we found out about this abandoned warrior. You must understand that this woman is military property and she does not officially exist. should the Mandalorians find out about such a perversion off their beloved Jango Fett's genome they'd all be at the Confederacy's call."

Dilbun Vont: "I assume from your attitude the Chancellor's fuming about what happened? i mean I'd expected you to personally supervise my..."

Tarkin: "Spare me the coy act Vont, i serve the Chancellor and our other Friend. his orders are to be followed exactly in this matter, ego and personal banter cannot become involved now. as of this moment you and i are on the same playing field. we are currently operating behind the backs of the Jedi Order and the actual War. for the first time the chancellor is actually rushing to catch a hydro-spanner before it clogs the gears of this galactic game you and i benefit from."

Dilbun Vont: Translation= The Sith infighting has opened up a window for a equally matched enemy to remove them from power or worse expose the whole shame before the stu is just right. this entire war was planned and scheduled like a game of shockball, that is up until now.

Tarkin: "On a side note, she was flashtrained to be a Advanced Recon Commando. I'd keep my hands to my self Dilbun."

J'mee Fett: "What are my orders?"

Tarkin: "Commando J'mee Fett, you have been as of this moment drafted into the service of the Grand Army of the Republic. your mission is classified and therefore you are not to stray from said mission at any moment. upon its completion you are to return here for continued stasis."

J'mee Fett: "Understood."

Tarkin: "That goes for you as well Vont!"

Dilbun Vont: "what I'm to join the ranks of frosty here? and await orders in my sleep!"

Tarkin: "Let me put it this way, as of this moment you are now officially an unofficial member of the Grand Army. in other words, shed that Fringe Green. You are now Commander of the Black Ops."