Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work...

[JediMAC]

Just think about the context in which it's used in the movie and to describe him.

i.e.  "Potty break"

"Brick" really doesn't describe the fact that he has to leave campus to run all the way home to do his business...  

[Mikey D]

Just think about the context in which it's used in the movie and to describe him.

i.e.  "Potty break"

"Brick" really doesn't describe the fact that he has to leave campus to run all the way home to do his business...  

I always thought sh!t brick would be something Stiffler would call some one, kind of like ass clown, f*ck face, etc.  And how would Stiffler know Finch's bathroom habits?  Its not like they were best friends, just casual acquaintances.

But saying sh!t brick and sh!t break aloud back to back, they really sound very similar, so I could be wrong.  

[JediMAC]

And how would Stiffler know Finch's bathroom habits?  Its not like they were best friends, just casual acquaintances.

I think the point is, that everyone at their school knows Finch's crapping habits, and the fact that he has to always run all the way home to take a dump is most amusing to all his friends and classmates, and thus the nickname.  That's my take on it anyway...

[JediMAC]

As for me, well, many of my friends call me $h!t Break, after the character in American Pie - so that should give you a pretty good hint as to my crapping habits!  

So apparently the In N Out burger I ate for lunch today REALLY didn't agree with me, so I was therefore left with two terrifying options:

1)  Ruin my nice pair of Dockers, underwear, office chair, and possibly (probably) carpet, or...

2)  Use the men's restroom here at the office for only the second time in over 6 years.

After serious deliberation with myself, I thought walking out of the office with my pants annihilated in brown mush was the worse of the two evils, so I chose the latter, and hesitantly hit the can.

The coast was clear, and after about 20 minutes of prep time with the toilet (which looked surprisingly clean), I went with the HAVANA OMELETTE.  I did an immediate COURTESY FLUSH, before being rudely intruded upon by an UNCLE TED.  I quickly alerted him to my presence with an ASTAIRE, and after what seemed like an hour, he finally left and spared me the complete embarrassment of the WALK OF SHAME.  I definitely need to develop my PFN though, if I plan on doing this any further in the future...  

God, I feel so violated.  I need to go home and take a serious shower.  

[Dressel Rebel]

Next up:

Tips and Techniques: Constructing the paper nest for the toilet seat and YOU - strategies and pitfalls.

[Angry Ewok]

Terrible, terrible experience. And it isn't even over yet.

I'm spending the week with my girlfriend in her appartment - she shares the place with 2 other girls... 3 girls, 1 guy, and only one shower and bathroom... Already a problem existed before I was stricken with the 'squirts'... Ah yes, my sweet girlfriend thought it'd be nice to get me a coffee or something, but the side effects of that creamy drink and my milk-intolerance have been rather bad. I break this story down into parts...

First :
My girlfriend and one of the roomies had been out to take exams, meanwhile me and another roomie were minding our own business doing our own thing in our own rooms. I go to take a shower, and as I step out fresh-fully-clean I realize that the puffy soap thingy I used is identical to the another one that was beside it. One of them doesn't belong to me, but instead it belongs to one of the roomies. Have I just used one of the roomies soap thingies? What do I do?

Second :
Here's what I did - Absolutely nothing, as I then realize I've forgotten my towel and have to make a run for the bedroom while I've still got the chance.

Third :
As I dry off in the bedroom and take a breath while getting dressed, I realize my tummy doesn't feel good. I then make a mad dash to the restroom... For about 5 minutes, I had quite a time trying to keep the noise down. Did it work? Of course not, I'm sure everyone in the world heard my 'situation'... so I just let go and tried to finish quick.

Fourth :
I'm done for the time being, so I flush and make a mad dash to the bedroom... Moments later I hear the roomie head out of her bedroom and into the shower... She passes the bathroom... I hold my breath, "I didn't make a stink, I hope!", she enters the shower, "Oh god, I bet I used her soapy-thingy..." But nothing happened. No yells, no giggles... Nothing.

So now we wait.

I have to go potty again, very soon... and another roomie  has arrived... "I'm doomed!" I murmer to myself, "I better go to JediDefender.com and make my humiliation a tad more public."

[DSJ™]

Terrible, terrible experience. And it isn't even over yet.

I'm spending the week with my girlfriend in her appartment - she shares the place with 2 other girls... 3 girls, 1 guy, and only one shower and bathroom... Already a problem existed before I was stricken with the 'squirts'... Ah yes, my sweet girlfriend thought it'd be nice to get me a coffee or something, but the side effects of that creamy drink and my milk-intolerance have been rather bad. I break this story down into parts...

First :
My girlfriend and one of the roomies had been out to take exams, meanwhile me and another roomie were minding our own business doing our own thing in our own rooms. I go to take a shower, and as I step out fresh-fully-clean I realize that the puffy soap thingy I used is identical to the another one that was beside it. One of them doesn't belong to me, but instead it belongs to one of the roomies. Have I just used one of the roomies soap thingies? What do I do?

Second :
Here's what I did - Absolutely nothing, as I then realize I've forgotten my towel and have to make a run for the bedroom while I've still got the chance.

Third :
As I dry off in the bedroom and take a breath while getting dressed, I realize my tummy doesn't feel good. I then make a mad dash to the restroom... For about 5 minutes, I had quite a time trying to keep the noise down. Did it work? Of course not, I'm sure everyone in the world heard my 'situation'... so I just let go and tried to finish quick.

Fourth :
I'm done for the time being, so I flush and make a mad dash to the bedroom... Moments later I hear the roomie head out of her bedroom and into the shower... She passes the bathroom... I hold my breath, "I didn't make a stink, I hope!", she enters the shower, "Oh god, I bet I used her soapy-thingy..." But nothing happened. No yells, no giggles... Nothing.

So now we wait.

I have to go potty again, very soon... and another roomie  has arrived... "I'm doomed!" I murmer to myself, "I better go to JediDefender.com and make my humiliation a tad more public."

This is absolutely classic!  Sorry Brad but this made my day!  

Now if you don't mind, I have to trot along. No really, its something I ate last night!  

[Angry Ewok]

I'm still waiting patiently for a good idea of what to do. I think I'll probably end up running back into the bathroom for Round 2... I was kind of hoping my girlfriend would get home so I could get some sort of sympathy (and I don't know where she hides the medicine... it's definately time for some Pepto).

 

[Scott]

My question...why you have a "puffy soap thingy"

[Angry Ewok]

Allow me to clarify - the puffy thingy isn't mine, it's my girlfriend's. She told me that 'It's the blue one'... leading me to believe it'd be the only blue one. It isn't.

Now she's here laughing at me.

[JediMAC]

My question...why you have a "puffy soap thingy"

Beat me to it.  

Good luck with squirts volume 2, loofah princess!  It could be worse - you should try taking a dump after having your appendix yanked out...  

[Scott]

Oh God Matt, I forgot about that...for those not in the know, all of your muscles down there seem to be directly connected to where they cut you.  Add to that some general soreness internally and being on narcotics for pain relief.  I feel for you

Princess Loofah, try some Immodium

[DSJ™]

Man, this sounds like a TV sitcom!  

[JediMAC]

Now she's here laughing at me.

As are the rest of us.  Sure, it's not yours, Princess Loofah!  

[Deanpaul]

... Moments later I hear the roomie head out of her bedroom and into the shower... She passes the bathroom... I hold my breath, "I didn't make a stink, I hope!"

I offer, for your consideration, a sniglet I created while in the Narrows District at Zion's National Park 2 years ago...

These are narrow sandstone corridors formed by water erosion over time. One often needs to walk single file for hundreds of yards in spaces less than 5 feet across... And since it's an extended hike across 20+ miles of active and dry river beds it can take days to pass through. And chances are good that on a hike such as that, someone in the group has consumed an unhealthy portion of beef jerkey, dehydrated meals (lot's o' beans in thar') and granola.

The result is ominous for the affected individual, worse for those who follow behind.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you snifflash.

Snifflash: the motion of violently moving ones head backward and away from any offending negative smell, usually fart or feces. Often accompanied a feeling of slow motion, as if time stopped and one were stuck in the smell for an extended period of time. Occasionally results in a stiff neck or lasting facial grimace.

Snifflash, use the term appropriately.

Brad, did the roomie suffer any lasting snifflash when she entered the bathroom and discovered from the odor what you had been up to?