« on: March 30, 2016, 11:24 AM »
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As with Man of Steel and The Watchmen (no ludicrous sex scenes in this jam, at least), this movie is relentlessly grim and gritty and resolutely No Fun Whatsoever, every line intoned with Desdemonian gravitas, every falling bullet casing memorialized with its own slow-mo funereal aria. (At one point, the Army fires a big-ass cannon, and that shell also falls to the ground in super-slow motion.)
An even less charitable way to put it is that a clearly excited 7- or 8-year-old kid sitting in front of me busted out crying and had to be whisked out of the theater by his father within the first five minutes....I felt really terrible for that kid immediately, and was mildly envious of him two hours and 25 minutes later.
This sort of nonsense nonetheless qualifies as an early highlight; the most suspenseful part of the first half of this movie was when I was trying to open my giant bag of Reese’s Pieces without detection. (No spoilers.)