Oh man, I hope those outdoor pics work out well. I've always wanted to try some, but I wasn't sure how they'd turn out. The pics look great so far!

I agree with everyone else. Not MySpace's fault, bad parents, etc. Also, MySpace automatically makes profiles Private for people under 16, where only people on your Friend List can see your profile - meaning that this girl either gave a false age or accepted this guy as a Friend.

My condolences go out to her family as well. I never knew Shannon outside of the forums, but I always hear about what a kind and caring person she was. I know what it's like to have a close family member pass from cancer, so I have an idea of what her family is feeling. I hope they remain strong and always remember the good times they had with her.

RIP Shannon, you certainly didn'd deserve any of this.

 

Hmm, it was okay, but there were some issues that rubbed me the wrong way.

First, and I CANNNOT stress this enough, PLEASE use proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization! This is one of my biggest online pet peeves. Your sentences give your work somewhat of an unproffessional feel, and it also looks like it's just one large sentence. So work on that. Perhaps add some HTML code as well, like bolding the speaker's name, or italicize the actions that characters make.

Also, try to make sure that your pictures are posted in a separate line, and not right after the text ends. This makes some of the text go down to the bottom of the picture, and it makes your sentences harder to read.

You already said you'll be improving your camera work, so that's good. Also, try improving the lighting.

Hopefully with the advice given, you'll be on your way to creating a better photonovel!

master brisk apor: Thanks!

In Rem: Thanks for the suggestions. I'll touch on the Palpatine bit below with CHEWIE's response, but good idea on the Mace Windu part. I didn't really know how to end that bit of dialogue. Hope you keep enjoying!

CHEWIE: Reguarding the Mickey name, it's a shot at the owner of www.supershadow.com. Not sure if you've ever been there, but the owner, named Mickey, is a giant douche who claims to be Lucas' best friend, and also claims he will be directing the sequel trilogy in 2020, etc. I was wondering if anyone would catch the reference, but I guess not. However, I'll be addressing a name change in Chapter 2.

Reguarding Palpatine, the begging was meant to make him seem two-faced, actually. I know I didn't put any "authoritiveness" in the dialogue, but kind of forcing Mace into working on this project shows his authority, IMO. Of course, others think differently, but I'll keep the suggestion in mind next time I use Palpatine.

Reguarding backgrounds, I wanted something simple and easy to use for this one, but MUCH better backgrounds are coming up. I'm learning to work Photoshop, too, so hopefully that will help.

And who says a random Jedi won't become involved?  We saw the one Jedi being decapitated, perhaps the terrorist group will kidnap another? Anything could happen to sidetrack the trooper...

Thanks everyone! I'm hoping not to disappoint. I've decided to "borrow" SA Longhorn's format of posting each new PN in the same thread, I hope that makes it easier for everyone.

I had a lot of free time this weekend, and was able to finish the relatively simple Chapter One: Introduction. Hopefully this will tide you guys over until July, as I'll be leaving for vacation next week. Enjoy!







DATELINE: PLANET RODIA. It all started here, one month ago with the Rodian Primary Elections. Former Rodian senator Beevo Norhnol lost the election to Onaconda Farr. Norhnol brought lots of peace and prosperity to Rodia, and was said to have felt betrayed by his planet. He disappeared soon after.


And late last week, Senator Meena Tills of Mon Calamari, shown here in this file photo, also mysteriously vanished after a visit to Naboo.


There have been multiple rumors that an anti-human terrorist group known as the "Alien's Voice" are behind these kidnappings. Recently, the Alien's Voice has been releasing grainy videos over the Holonet, the most notable one showing a Jedi being decapatated with his own lightsaber. They have been rumored to be planning an attack, and perhaps the kidnappings of two important political figures is the beginning.


The only clue left behind was a photo that surfaced on the Holonet just before news of Senator Tills' kidnapping broke out. It shows Norhnol in front of a doorway, appearing to be begging for something. The poor quality of the photo reinforces beliefs that this is all the work of the Alien's Voice.


Many questions are left to be answered. Where is Norhnol? Where is Senator Tills? Does the Alien's Voice have anything to do with the disappearances? Is it all a scheme by the Confederacy? Hopefully there are enough troopers, and Jedi, to find out.


On Coruscant, Chancellor Palpatine meets with Jedi Masters Mace Windu and Yoda...
Palpatine: Thank you for being able to see me on such short notice, Master Windu and Master Yoda. It's been a long week, especially with the kidnapping of Senator Tills.
Windu: Indeed. However, I sense that Tills is still on Naboo. Either myself or Master Yoda can lead a group of clones and rescue him.
Palpatine: That won't be necessary, Master Windu.


Palpatine: You see, the reason I've asked you here today is to show you my new toy, so to speak. It arrived last night, direct from Kamino.
Yoda: Hmm, a new clone trooper you have to show us, Chancellor?


Palpatine: Correct, Master Yoda. He's a special ops clone, who works in the shadows. His codename is "Shadowstalker".
Windu: So he's like a recon clone then. Scouts the area and gives the okay for the assault?
Palpatine: Well, yes and no.


Palpatine: You see, the Shadow Trooper is specially trained to infiltrate places where a large attack is unnecessary. For example, he can steal data from the enemy, or silently eliminate or capture someone who works close to Count Dooku. His helmet includes special night vision and thermal goggles, which help him in his missions.
Windu: So what you're saying is...
Yoda: ...Stealth, his objective is.


Palpatine: Yes, right as always Master Yoda. Now, behind this door is the most advanced soldier in the Republic army. Kamino is training more, although a very small number of them will exist. "Mickey" was the first one to complete his training. Would you like to meet him?


Palpatine opens the door. Steam is released, and out of the steam emerges a pitch black trooper with grey markings and a red visor.
Palpatine: Mickey, these are Jedi Masters Mace Windu and Yoda.
Mickey: Hello.
Windu: Pleasure to meet you.
Yoda: Agreed, a pleasure it is.


Palpatine: Now, there is one problem, Mickey requires a "boss" so to speak... someone to stay connected to him on his missions, inform him of his position, give him details from satellite imagery, all that fancy stuff. I myself am no technological mastermind, but I believe the two of you are.
Yoda: Busy I am, teaching younglings. But Master Windu, Jedi Council meetings, are his only priority.
Windu: I'm not so sure about this...


Mickey: Master Windu, I am trained to do whatever it takes to preserve peace and stability in the Republic. With the Clone Wars going on, my job is to stop anyone else from creating a diversion, so the Republic can fully concentrate on the war. I'm an elite intelligence-gathering force - I'm invisible and razor sharp, like a sliver of grass. If I'm captured or killed, the Republic denies my existance. Even if anything happens, no harm or blame will come to you. There's nothing to worry about.


Palpatine: Please, Master Windu? I beg you. And you'll be a part of a team, I have two other select members who will be standing by with you and communicating to Mickey as well. Please?
Windu: Well, I'll give it a shot. But for the first run only. After that, I'll decide if I want to join in on this "team".
Palpatine: Thank you for accepting, Master Windu! It means a lot to me. The Republic thanks you.


Palpatine: Now, my pilot will take you to the HQ, located near my office. There you will be further briefed, and we can work out Mickey's first mission. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make a transmission. Good luck.
Windu turns to Yoda after Palpatine walks off.
Windu: I have a bad feeling about this.
Yoda: Clouded, is the future of this project. But sense I do, that the first mission will be successful. Senator Tills, I feel we will find.


Mickey: Master Windu, I've heard of you before. You have quite the reputation as a Jedi not to mess with. I know you aren't open to Project Shadow, but I will say it will be a pleasure to work with you, even if it is for one mission.
Windu: The pleasure is all mine.
The Gunship flies off as the new partners shake hands.

Sorry about that one pic, I'm not sure why it keeps shrinking? Ah well. Hope you all enjoy!

Man, I love your work. The story is fantastic and the pics are wonderful. I'm on the edge of my seat... I want more!